Getting clean has been like seeing the world for the first time of my life. Actually noticing the detail and beauty in things. Having a willingness and desire to explore the world around me, as opposed to having escaped it in euphoria for so long. And yes, that is trippy as absolute fuck. I feel like opiate euphoria over-rides the ability to actually pay attention to your surroundings, which makes sense with pinpoint pupils and all...and getting clean in the autumn with the leaves changing colour has been wonderful. Even noticing houses in neighbourhoods that stand out and being like oh! I'd like to live there, that's pretty rad of a house.
I'm enhancing it with healthy daily doses of 2c-c as well. So yes, I am on the craziest trip of my whole entire life and just have 8 days after I relapsed after having 3 weeks. I am in a sacred space, it is the sensitivity of opiate withdrawal combined with the catalyst of 2C-C but really there is no explaining what is happening in my life. I can't even begin to describe how ridiculous and awesome and just plan nonrealistic things have been. It just could never ever be explained by modern day science or logic at all. Synchronicity everywhere, patterns, unity and interconnectedness. It's just blowing my mind so good and pure and clean that I keep taking more and more, but I believe this will be self regulating. I am so functional on 2C-C, that I met my new boss today with saucer eyes after sleeping one hour last night. The job I got is essentially a psychedelic playground in my own home. It is ridiculous! It's not even a job, it's pure creativity and fun! It was the 2C-C I SWEAR, this never would have happened otherwise. The psychedelic state attracted this into my life and somehow made it happen. That's the type of crazy shit I'm talking about.
I saw my brother today and oh man it was amazing. We are blood brothers, 10 years apart but best friends and he is the only one who truly understands me. We see into each others souls... I am the elder but he helps me as much as I help him. He is so mature for his age, and I shredded a cover track I learned by ear the night before and then performed for him in the morning after practicing for hours. We analyzed the key together, the chord progression, and the fast paced riff I nailed and he was trying to get it but it's really tricky. Of course he understood the key (G#min) and the progression apart from one thing. Two A#'s and an F# I believe. It was a slight tweak of a powerchord I believe. Not really sure, but it is what makes the progression awesome because it's just so random. We had an amazing intellectual discourse afterwards as well. Then he played me some lovely fingerpicking style guitar that blew me away and I asked him if he knew I was tripping face. He just calmly said that no, it was completely unnoticeable. I am just like WTF look at my eyes bro!!! And I burst into hysterics of cackling, maniacal giggle fits of fun. Oh man, gotta be a good influence on the guy but he doesn't use drugs at this time of his life or in his past. He believes that they are not for him, including psychedelics. I think he trips out off me... I get the message across, that's for sure. We see into each others souls man and that isn't always the case with siblings. I have another sibling I don't even talk to or even know... it's pretty shit.
Anyways, I'm seeing colours in the screen and the screen has 3d depth again. Like I can reach in, yet I am completely in control. This is fucking AMAZING for being only 8 days clean after a devastating, soul crushing relapse!
I've had saucer eyes for dayssssss man and I'm attracting beautiful insanity into my life! Things are changing in wonderful and mysterious ways.
