• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting RulesBluelight Rules
    PD's Best Threads Index
    Social ThreadSupport Bluelight
    Psychedelic Beginner's FAQ

Coming to peace with psychedelics?

Cudi

Cudi

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
186
So it's almost officially been 3 years since my first psychedelic experience. It was also the last time. After smoking cannabis at the peak of my trip, things went out of control in my head and I became immersed in my very own psychotic break. I lost my head for several months after that and had to pick up the pieces to my sanity and glue them back together. I told myself I would never touch LSD again in my entire life if I was just able to get out of the madness, and out of the madness I ascended. But it wasn't easy. Only recently (a few months ago) have I been able to smoke cannabis in heavy amounts again without having a panic attack/flashback. I'm not sure what flicked inside my head. I'm in a pretty solid headspace and things are going well in my life I'd say.

I don't have a yearning desire to be immersed in another psychedelic experience, but there's a feeling I have that I need to come to peace with psychedelics and have a blissful experience with them. Whether it be psilocybin or LSD, I don't know. I definitely still have a fear of them. That is something I don't think I'll ever get over. I just feel like I'm so close to overcoming my fear of the experience but I will never actually get over it until I have a blissful psychedelic experience. Am I crazy for thinking this? I don't have a craving for psychs, just this curiosity that's been brewing inside my head of everything I've missed out on. Again, it's been 3 years. It was the first and last time I've taken LSD, albeit any psychedelic. And yes, I'm aware cannabis ruined the experience for me and it was a bad idea. But now that I've come to peace with cannabis again finally...
 
try MDMA or dissociatives. They have much less fear associated with the highs. definitley don't smoke weed with either though
 
I understand your reasons for wanting to try LSD again, but you should realise it will be a gamble. It could turn out the way you intend, but it could also backfire and lead to a bad place. No one can tell which of those will happen. The fact that you can handle strong doses of cannabis is a positive indication, but nowhere near a guarantee. Only you can decide if it's worth the risk.
 
I agree with above posts strongly.
You dont ever need to revisit these, however, mdma or potentially a dissociative such as ketamine might... might.... might... be ok.

Resolving this with natural lifestyle is the best outcome, but of course not always the easiest.
Mdma is wonderful in exposing some challenges, but also gently offering answers
Dissociatives will help you gain perspectives with the pains.

Any inkling to NOT take psychedelics is something to respect.
 
I'm not a big believer in "The first time wasn't good so I'll forget about it". Presumably that means if the first time you met a dog it bit you then you avoid dogs for the rest of your life? Or if your high school girlfriend was a bitch you quit women? It's an exploration - take it gently and at your own pace. If you got scared you took too much. Cut the dose.

And don't think LSD is like mushrooms - I'd taken mushrooms for many years in staggering doses but my first strong dose of LSD was much harder to handle. A good way of taking LSD is to split the dose 20 minutes apart. This alters the trip from a full on LSD trip to much more like an E - but better.
 
Ismene said:
I'm not a big believer in "The first time wasn't good so I'll forget about it". Presumably that means if the first time you met a dog it bit you then you avoid dogs for the rest of your life? Or if your high school girlfriend was a bitch you quit women? It's an exploration - take it gently and at your own pace. If you got scared you took too much. Cut the dose.
Click to expand...

I get what you say, but the OP is not just someone who got scared because he took too much. He apparently had a full psychotic break that took months to recover from. This is a strong indicator for serious caution.
 
a strong psychotic break suggests falling into a space blacker than black when it comes to black or white,
even though we live in a world of thousands of grays - where things are rarely black or white.

because the Cudi went that way, I think continuing to avoid strong psychedelics is the right approach, unless you can get in a program with a good sitter and a controlled environment. To get in such a program you usually need a problem to solve that is not "I wish I did more Drugs."
 
donvliet said:
I get what you say, but the OP is not just someone who got scared because he took too much. He apparently had a full psychotic break that took months to recover from. This is a strong indicator for serious caution.
Click to expand...

Sure, I'm always for caution but whether it was the LSD that "triggered" it or not is another question. He says he was a heavy user of cannabis - it might have been that, he might have just been about to pop anyway and the LSD was an intense experience.

I'm just saying that the chance of anyone half-sane going psychotic from sensibly taking LSD is so small as to be negligble. Probably about the same as winning the lottery and then being struck on the head by a meteorite on your way home.
 
I'd be all for trying MDMA if it wasn't proven to be neurotoxic and cause/worsen heart problems. I have heart problems on both sides of my family so stimulants aren't really my thing. (I know, it's not a full on stimulant)
 
Ismene said:
I'm not a big believer in "The first time wasn't good so I'll forget about it". Presumably that means if the first time you met a dog it bit you then you avoid dogs for the rest of your life? Or if your high school girlfriend was a bitch you quit women? It's an exploration - take it gently and at your own pace. If you got scared you took too much. Cut the dose.

And don't think LSD is like mushrooms - I'd taken mushrooms for many years in staggering doses but my first strong dose of LSD was much harder to handle. A good way of taking LSD is to split the dose 20 minutes apart. This alters the trip from a full on LSD trip to much more like an E - but better.
Click to expand...
Well, every dog has different brain chemistry. Every dog possesses different aggression qualities. LSD is just simply LSD. Whether it's LSD from Sweden or Canada, it's the same molecule. So, I don't think that comparison is rational at all. But I agree, if I were to take it again, it would most likely be a quarter of a tab: a microdose essentially. Just to ease back into things. We will see
 
pupnik said:
a strong psychotic break suggests falling into a space blacker than black when it comes to black or white,
even though we live in a world of thousands of grays - where things are rarely black or white.

because the Cudi went that way, I think continuing to avoid strong psychedelics is the right approach, unless you can get in a program with a good sitter and a controlled environment. To get in such a program you usually need a problem to solve that is not "I wish I did more Drugs."
Click to expand...
Trust me, it was pure insanity. I felt like an asylum patient with schizophrenia inside my own house with the same scenario repeating over and over again until my memory wiped and the scenario loop happened again. Heart rate at least 150 bpm from the panic, and body temp of around 94.5 presumably from the pot.
 
LucidSDreamr said:
try MDMA or dissociatives. They have much less fear associated with the highs. definitley don't smoke weed with either though
Click to expand...

When someone has a full-on psychotic break that lasts for months from a single and only trip, MDMA and dissociatives are likely going to be worse than psychedelics. Dissociatives have the highest incidence of causing psychosis of most any drug I've seen (besides some stimulants), and MDMA is an amphetamine, which are known for being able to cause mania and psychosis.

Honestly OP, it's really risky. Have you experienced psychosis before? I've tripped hundreds of times, quite gratuitously sometimes, and never had any sort of psychotic episode. Some people are more prone to them. I think there is a decent chance of something happening again if you trip again, sadly. It could work out, but the risk seems great.
 
^ but he has anxiety/psychotic problems, weed will just exacerbate this. MDMA isn't that neurotoxic in an isolated reasonable dose.


and to Xorkoth, I agree that if he has a history of psychosis, no drugs at all in the psycheclic category should be touched. But if he must do something, I was suggesting mdma or dissos because 5ht agonists are just the most prone to such problems.
 
Cudi, I remember when this happened and you posted. In my opinion there's nothing stopping you from taking and having a positive LSD experience except you. Whatever factor or aspect of your being, thoughts, and/or behavior that caused the horror last time can only cause the horror again if they're still present. What have you learned in the past three years? Why did this experience happen and what did you learn from it? Unless you have gleaned what there is to be seen I see no reason for it not to happen again. If you have, then why would it?

At the end of the day querying a forum on your mental and emotional functioning and capabilities to handle an experience as complex and multi-layered as tripping is inaccurate at best. The best perspective is you if you allow yourself to see. Next best, loved ones and friends, and on and on.

We can give perspective but I think you have to explore the various options more in depth inside your own head, and really being. On paper we all may say no, it sounds like a bad idea, and it's really what you need, or the opposite.

I'm not really trying to give you an answer but more facilitate thought on your own part. I'm sure you'll choose what is right for you if you listen. Even if you do trip again and have a horrid time, that too will pass. Or you may have a glowing experience that heals you from your fear and burden. Or decide not to and get over it that way too! Who knows?


On a more concrete note, my advice if you do decide to trip again is to begin and maintain an energetic/mindful practice, whether that be meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, or similar. The practices of mindfulness and mindful movement are key in grounding oneself no matter the conditions experienced.
 
Ismene said:
I'm not a big believer in "The first time wasn't good so I'll forget about it". Presumably that means if the first time you met a dog it bit you then you avoid dogs for the rest of your life? Or if your high school girlfriend was a bitch you quit women? It's an exploration - take it gently and at your own pace. If you got scared you took too much. Cut the dose.
Click to expand...

Yep.
 
Cudi said:
LSD is just simply LSD. Whether it's LSD from Sweden or Canada, it's the same molecule.
Click to expand...

True - but it's a molecule with a vast range of effects in human beings. Probably the biggest range of effects of any known drug. If the sun is shining you can have a massively different experience to if it was raining - never mind your mood,dose etc.
 
Xorkoth said:
When someone has a full-on psychotic break that lasts for months from a single and only trip, MDMA and dissociatives are likely going to be worse than psychedelics. Dissociatives have the highest incidence of causing psychosis of most any drug I've seen (besides some stimulants), and MDMA is an amphetamine, which are known for being able to cause mania and psychosis.

Honestly OP, it's really risky. Have you experienced psychosis before? I've tripped hundreds of times, quite gratuitously sometimes, and never had any sort of psychotic episode. Some people are more prone to them. I think there is a decent chance of something happening again if you trip again, sadly. It could work out, but the risk seems great.
Click to expand...
I've never been diagnosed with psychosis, but I have a range of anxiety problems/minor OCD about certain things especially counting things or obsessing over certain thoughts. And the psychotic break itself didn't last months, but I definitely was not normal for several months. I had a tension in my head that wouldn't seem to go away and I was very flinchy. I had extreme troubles when it came to sleeping for quite a while, my body wouldn't allow itself to drift into deep sleep. I became paranoid/anxious about my mental health thinking I was headed toward serious mental illness. I just wish I could know how that trip would've turned out had I not smoked pot towards the peak of the trip.
 
Psy997,

You are entirely right and I do believe that I'm capable of having a positive trip. I've had dreams before where I've taken a psych (usually shrooms for some reason) and it turns out very positive in my dream. Not saying that this means I'll have a good trip the next time I do, but if my subconscious mind is producing these dreams then at least it's getting over the fear of them. And yes I have since then integrated the experience and believe I know the reasons why it headed south so rapidly. It was extremely traumatic and naturally the brain tries to suppress traumatic events, so there are many parts that I don't fully remember. If I ever decide to again, I will take all precautions necessary
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top