Cudi
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2015
- Messages
- 186
So it's almost officially been 3 years since my first psychedelic experience. It was also the last time. After smoking cannabis at the peak of my trip, things went out of control in my head and I became immersed in my very own psychotic break. I lost my head for several months after that and had to pick up the pieces to my sanity and glue them back together. I told myself I would never touch LSD again in my entire life if I was just able to get out of the madness, and out of the madness I ascended. But it wasn't easy. Only recently (a few months ago) have I been able to smoke cannabis in heavy amounts again without having a panic attack/flashback. I'm not sure what flicked inside my head. I'm in a pretty solid headspace and things are going well in my life I'd say.
I don't have a yearning desire to be immersed in another psychedelic experience, but there's a feeling I have that I need to come to peace with psychedelics and have a blissful experience with them. Whether it be psilocybin or LSD, I don't know. I definitely still have a fear of them. That is something I don't think I'll ever get over. I just feel like I'm so close to overcoming my fear of the experience but I will never actually get over it until I have a blissful psychedelic experience. Am I crazy for thinking this? I don't have a craving for psychs, just this curiosity that's been brewing inside my head of everything I've missed out on. Again, it's been 3 years. It was the first and last time I've taken LSD, albeit any psychedelic. And yes, I'm aware cannabis ruined the experience for me and it was a bad idea. But now that I've come to peace with cannabis again finally...
I don't have a yearning desire to be immersed in another psychedelic experience, but there's a feeling I have that I need to come to peace with psychedelics and have a blissful experience with them. Whether it be psilocybin or LSD, I don't know. I definitely still have a fear of them. That is something I don't think I'll ever get over. I just feel like I'm so close to overcoming my fear of the experience but I will never actually get over it until I have a blissful psychedelic experience. Am I crazy for thinking this? I don't have a craving for psychs, just this curiosity that's been brewing inside my head of everything I've missed out on. Again, it's been 3 years. It was the first and last time I've taken LSD, albeit any psychedelic. And yes, I'm aware cannabis ruined the experience for me and it was a bad idea. But now that I've come to peace with cannabis again finally...