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I'm Close... Need some help

Glad you're feeling good enough to get to work. Man, a good friend of mine has ankylosing spondylitis and I know it's a drag.

I hear what you're saying about oxy. Glad the morphine works better for you (at least addiction-wise).
 
You could also try methadone for a period of time as it will make you feel better and it's a bit stronger than morphine. You don't get high, but it helps you achieve your goals.
 
Part of me would love to try Methadone... What scares me the most is getting burned on pain management again. This is the the third time for me on opiates. Had my vicodin cut off when a doc burned me. 3 months to get a next appt. Got burned on oxy and now morphine.

The state of our country when it comes to health care is an absolute mess. VA turned me down 7 months ago. Medicaid is going to get hammered. Insurance is skyrocketing. Im just a mid 50's disabled dude trying to weather the storm. I consider myself lucky though... great wife, home and I can still do IT/IS consulting jobs. Many folks out there are in much worse situations.

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Erikmen said:
You could also try methadone for a period of time as it will make you feel better and it's a bit stronger than morphine. You don't get high, but it helps you achieve your goals.
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Stopped benzos 2 days ago. Was on them two weeks during this last drop. Well today was rebound day. Felt like crap all day. On the bright side... Applied for a spine simulator study. Crossing my fingers....

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Reanimator13 said:
Stopped benzos 2 days ago. Was on them two weeks during this last drop. Well today was rebound day. Felt like crap all day. On the bright side... Applied for a spine simulator study. Crossing my fingers....

R13
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Which benzos were you using, and about how much? If it was just for two weeks, I can't imagine you'll have to get through much WD from them. At least I hope not :)
 
I have been lightly using Xanax for over 20 years. Usually no more than 2-3 days at a go. Longest was a couple of months. I used it for bad flare ups. When you cannot shut the pain signal down the anxiety goes up.

Benzos have always had a rebound for me. Almost always 2 days after the last dose. Anxiety goes up and you feel crappy for a day. Not a big price to pay for the relief during a bad flare.

I got a script of Klonopin and still had xanax at the tail end of my taper. Used both through that two weeks.

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simco said:
Which benzos were you using, and about how much? If it was just for two weeks, I can't imagine you'll have to get through much WD from them. At least I hope not :)
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Day 17 - Sleep still eludes me most days. Getting 4-8 hours depending on exhaustion level. Im wired today. Still getting bouts sneezing, ringing etc. Nothing major just annoying.

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Reanimator13 said:
Part of me would love to try Methadone... What scares me the most is getting burned on pain management again. This is the the third time for me on opiates. Had my vicodin cut off when a doc burned me. 3 months to get a next appt. Got burned on oxy and now morphine.

The state of our country when it comes to health care is an absolute mess. VA turned me down 7 months ago. Medicaid is going to get hammered. Insurance is skyrocketing. Im just a mid 50's disabled dude trying to weather the storm. I consider myself lucky though... great wife, home and I can still do IT/IS consulting jobs. Many folks out there are in much worse situations.

R13
Click to expand...

Some methadone clinics have programs that work with chronic pain patients to provide them their pain medication (including methadone). You wouldn't have to worry about getting burned from your primary care provider or anything going that route.

I don't feel like the future of healthcare in America is looking too bright right now though. I mean, unless you've got a job with amazing benefits or are wealthy to begin with.
 
Hey Guys... Ya America is a pretty messed up place these days. Like anything that is for profit it has a tendency to run amok. Thats how I look at our medical system... Greed out of control. The incoming solution looks like its going to be cuts for the folks that need it most. Every where I have turned has been a dead end... VA denied me. Even Denied I was stationed where I was lol. Medicaid is going to get cut. Pretty gloomy...

On the bright side I got a call from that spinal simulator study. Got a 3 hour appt in 12 days. Looking good so far. 3 Year trial and you get paid and get to keep the stimulator afterwards.

Still no craving for morphine. Only craving is sleep lol. Pain has been up and down last few days.

Laters
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Chin up, man. Though I agree--the US medical scene is hella fucked.
 
21 days in quick post... things have flipped the last few days. Pain level is real high. Sleeping more than im awake. Pain is shutting me down pretty hard. Pretty much non functional at this point. Going to give it another day then break out the old tramadol I have and see if that helps. Im even eyeing the gabapentin right now lol.

One nice thing about pain is the fatigue usually knocks me out.

This is all unknown territory for me. Cannot find very many pain management tapers that go beyond withdrawals and dealing with the real pain afterwards. Im 10 days out on that spinal study.

will keep this thread up to date so it may help someone else on a pain management taper...

R13
 
keep us in the loop, man. We're all pulling for you.
 
Spent most of today laying in my chair staring at a bottle of tramadol... Then it dawned on me... ( My brain must be running slow ) I was so hyper focused on withdrawal symptoms and making the pain stop somehow.

For the last 4 years or so I have had an on going argument with my pain doc. I kept having these fatigue high pain episodes. she kept telling me it was the high dose of morphine im on. My argument was then I should be fatigued all the time. So I waited till I was in an episode and did a full blood work up. Low and behold my thyroid was borderline low and what I read on the internet it should be treated. She of course thought not. Seems to be a big split out there on when to treat. So I did what anyone in my situation would I treated myself. Got a big bottle of kelp tabs and started taking them when the fatigue hit. Symptoms went away ultra quick... Thyroid levels went back to norm. Never told her I was treating myself and had to listen to look your thyroid is fine on preceding tests.

Put the tramadol up... Pulled out the kelp. Will know in a few days if I start feeling better. Too much kelp wires me out.

I think all the stress and poor diet over the past few months did another number on my thyroid. Guess we will find out. I just find it hard to believe I went from wired/insomnia to completely lethargic in a few days. At least I have gotten alot of sleep lol.

Will post how im feeling as I go along....

R13
 
^^
Interesting. I had no idea about a kelp/thyroid relationship.

I'm sure you know this, but it does sound like you might be making things a bit harder by having the bottle of tramadol out and about. Given your pain issues, I guess tossing it isn't probably what you want to do. But maybe you could ask someone to hold it for you so it's out of direct attention? Maybe something like that is what you meant by 'putting it up.'
 
Kelp helped with the fatigue. My pain level though is not getting any better. Mid back is raw. Lower aches. Right foot is burning lump. Right leg aches. Herniated disks in my neck are giving me grief. Pretty much stuck in the chair I sleep in. Slept 6 hours on and off with pain waking me. Pain is causing restlessness. Getting some pins and needles again. Feels like im hanging from a cliff by my finger nails. Pain and discomfort is starting to go beyond what I experienced in withdrawals.

Im sure some of this is from the drop in dopamine levels. Im pretty flat when it comes to emotions right now.

Going to start up the gabapentin tonight as im getting pretty desperate.

Without insurance my options at this point are tramadol or methadone or going back to morphine at a much lower dose ( affordable ). Methadone and morphine bring with it monthly appt cost and tests. Tramadol can go 5 refills making it a twice a year appt option.

Have not given up yet and dont plan to. I still have a ton of will power... The pain and misery is taking its toll though.

R13
 
Damn, dude, that sounds awful.

I'm in no way minimizing your pain. But I do think you might be right that some kind of PAWS effect may be exacerbating it. While I'm not sure how much better you'll feel, I am pretty confident that right now you're in about the gnarliest headspace possible (except maybe for acute WD).

Out of curiosity, have you ever experimented with mindfulness-based pain management methods? I'm not an expert on this by any means. But in my reading on it, this approach does have some pretty compelling clinical results. And you could do at least some of that kind of work without spending any money. If you're interested, I think this pamphlet is a decent starting point.
 
Thanks Sim... little sleep last night. Forced myself to ride this morning and then hit the local park to fly a drone. One of the older guys there used to be on opiates for several failed back surgeries. We talked for quite a while. He said he was in quite alot of pain after the withdrawals but that it started getting better after 45 days or so. He made me promise to stick it out a while longer telling me it will get better.

This just really sucks. During withdrawals you know the end of the misery is just hours away. The pain now just goes on and on. I think this is all a rebound chemical thing in my brain at this point. Did I mention it sucks? Bad?

As a counter im packing my sleeping chair sides with pillows to stop any kind of movement going forward. The restlessness is making it worse while I sleep. The gabapentin actually helped a bit and at least my foots not on fire.

I have been using mindfulness for many years now as well as a controlled breathing technique for severe anxiety. Appreciate the link though.

Hanging in there...

R13
 
^^
You're doing awesome, man. It's going to get better...unfortunately, you've gotta walk through some fire before it does. But you're doing the hard work right now!
 
Think I have this figured out... My wife watched me sleep for 2 hours ( Got 8 last night )this morning. Said I was snoring up a storm and my whole body was trying to twist and turn. That would explain all the pain im in. My back is not getting a break even when im sleeping. All those damaged areas are getting a constant work out.

I'm going to stay on the gabapentin at night for now as it is helping me get to sleep pretty quick and I feel relaxed just before im out.

Having answers and at least a partial explanation makes the pain a bit more tolerable. My sinuses are still driving me ape shit... 24 days out and still going through this crap. The price you pay for a decade of morphine use. Anyone reading this take heed....

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