ChicagoMike
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 7, 2017
- Messages
- 28
Hey,
Ive been to lots of different fellowship meetings and I remember how nervous I was. The good news is that they will be really welcoming.
Although you have already gone?if so, let us know how you got on.
Im new to this site. Back on heroin around 7 weeks and cant get a day clean (yet). 5 days is a long time off painkillers. And like you, I get that depression. Like an emptiness that the drugs filled. Infact, I delude myself that I am nicer when on drugs HA
yes, lying in bed depressed, robbing, lying, isolating, what a great person haha
anyway thanks for your post
K
Yes! I went to my first one last night. I had no idea what to expect. I almost turned the car around four times. I walked in, nervously milled about and felt that at any moment I'd break down. I felt myself choking back tears for seemingly no reason at all. People definitely noticed. These people, these people at this meeting were awesome. Kept hugging me and were so excited that I was there. These people were like me. I felt like I was wrapped in a warm blanket when I was in there. I went up and got my keytag and everyone cheered like I had just won the Super Bowl. There were 25ish people there. It was so comforting to know that they had been where I was. People ranged from being clean a month to 19 years. I didn't bring cash and a woman bought me the NA book, completely unsolicited. I enjoyed after the meeting the most. So many people gave me their number and told me about other meetings in the area and said they'd go with me. Now, as far as the actual program, I'm not sure that I'm completely all in, with their scripted churchlike responses throughout the meeting, but it just felt good to be around these people. It gave me hope that I could be clean 19 years from now.
Now something that a guy told me after the meeting rang true when I left. He said that he, especially early on, would go to multiple meetings a day because when he walked out the doors of the meeting that it felt like all of this weight came crashing back down on him. That's definitely how I felt when I got home and hit that brick wall with my wife. The sense of optimism and energy that was injected into me from the meeting was erased. He said it does get easier though. I sure hope so.