Considering Suicide

[MyLife]

Hello. I'm new to this forum. Thanks for having me.

I'm a 17 years old male. I'm very stupid.
On May 1st, 2017, I accepted a dare challenge from my friend of slapping my teacher's butt, and got arrested for class D felony sexual battery.
I've been reading online that class d felony are usually a 1-6 years sentence. This is my first time offense. My family dont have money for expensive attorneys. we also dont know how to get a court attorney.
So, I've considering suicide. I didn't think such a small thing I did can cause me to go to jail for so long and I don't want to be in jail.
I don't want to lock myself from the world.
But if I continue on living, that's what will happen. I'm pathetic. Not even repaying my parents one cent for what they've done for me. Getting arrested, going to jail. I'm such a pathetic and stupid son. My parents work hard to put me in school and this is the type of shit I do to repay them.
So, suicide is probably my only option. I'm probably getting expelled from my school. Not being able to get any jobs because of my felony.
Maybe, when I die, i might get a chance to go back and redo things.
nah, that's too convenient. and life is not that convenient.
I'm such an idiot. Pathetic. Stupid. Retarded. Now I'm all alone. No one can help me out of this. This is something I brought upon myself.
My dad is mad. My mom is sad and crying. I'm here sitting, typing on a computer like a pathetic person that I am.
Why does this have to happen to me? It's just one more month. One more month til summer vacation. But I had to screw it up.
Funny how the other day, I was able to sleep without any stress, depression, or worries. But then, a day later, I'm all screwed up.
so, if i just take a knife, slit my throat, and die, all this stress will go away. everything will just go. poof. done.
a few days ago feel like years ago.

Thank you for reading.
I hope I can feel at least a bit of happiness before i decide to go.

 

[Shrooms00087]

Slitting your throat is going to be more painful than all 6 years. Of course no judge will give you that for a first felony(ish) I doubt it'll even be a year or maybe none at all.

 

[Shrooms00087]

Actually it being a felony means you did something far worse than slap a butt.

 

[dopemaster]

You are not going to do time for that.

Worst case you do 24 hours community service. Do not talk about your care and put it out your mind.

At your age I was looking at prison time not jail but I just went to court and got a light sentence of probation. During that time I got my two year degree.

Suicide is not a good idea, you have barely experienced life. It's game over and you haven't even started.

Don't let this get to you and tell your lawyer about the peer pressure. All you did was slap an ass.

It's nothing and could be dropped. If you think your.lawyer sucks find another and pay in installments but damn a lil probation is no reason to off yourself.

I have a feeling your lawyer wants you to learn your lesson but will do ok by you.

Do you have other problems because chances are other peiple here have gone through the same and worse shit.

It would be a damn shame if you called it quite over something this miniscule.

Just cuz you were charged with a felony doesn't mean they will throw the book at you. Your lawyer should work out getting it lowered to a misdemeanor or dropped.

I am guessing you haven't even used your plea for judgement. I had a gf who embezzled thousands from her job and she didn't do any time.

Look no one tells you this but you still pay a public defender and its one charge so you could hire an attorney and probably get even better results but you are a minor with no priors.

Your charges are so small and what happened is relatively harmeless. It was rude so yeah I am sure the cops scared the shit out of you.

I am guessing you talked and were not read your rights and they played games. A decent lawyer would take full advantage of that.

Regardless I really would put money on you not doing time unless you chose jail over probation.

So just get a job, finish your ged, and life goes on.

I would think there is more going on than this if you are that upset. It's not fair to the site for you to do this here.

I mean do you want advice on how you can help yourself because you can.

If you get job and get your ged that will show you are trying and that goes a long ways.

Anyways I am not the best with this stuff but dude life is so beautiful and sure there are shit times but the good times are what makes it worth living and being 17 sucks sometimes.

All the homeschool crap ends now anyways and you grow up, get a job, find someone special and so on.

If you were ever religious maybe get back into that. If not think a bit about the world outside of what you know and what you want to see and do in your life.

Life is so great and I wish I was 17 again. If you reallt want to steer clear of jail for sure just join the army.

You have options mate. You have reasons to live more than you do to die. Nothing horrific has happened, people are just disappointed in you now but you can change that.

So please stay with us. I will respond to your posts ok. Please post back. If a stranger wants you to do better and stay alive there is hope in the very fabric of society.

You didn't do anything that bad. You are just a youngin, this will pass.

Trying to kill yourself doesnt always work and I know this firsthand. Its even worse to try to kill yourself and live with that fact but plenty ppl do and they get better.

You have your whole life ahead of you and they have to prove you guilty for you to get a sentence that is bad and the internet is not always accurate and your case is not textbook by a long shot.

Just hang in there and work every day towards being an adult and it will be fine. Life rarely gives you more than you can handle.

 

[MyLife]

Actually it being a felony means you did something far worse than slap a butt.

the whole story is this
On April 28th, i saw the teacher. I went over to the group i hang out with and told them. stupid me said "im going to slap her ass if i see her again" as a joke.
all my the people said, "do it" "i dare you". So, yesterday, around 5th period, one of the kid had the same class as me for 5th period and he said, "the teacher is next door!"
i said, "i will slap her after class" he said "i dare you". so, being as dumb as i am, i actually took upon the dare and did it and ran away. a day later, security came to my 2nd period class and pulled me out of class. the police was standing outside and he handcuffed me, took me to the deen's office, i confessed and told them what happened, and i was under arrest.
looking back, i still hate myself from yesterday. i disgust the me from yesterday. but saying that wont make the fact that ive commited a crime any less true.

 

[MyLife]

You are not going to do time for that.

Worst case you do 24 hours community service. Do not talk about your care and put it out your mind.

At your age I was looking at prison time not jail but I just went to court and got a light sentence of probation. During that time I got my two year degree.

Suicide is not a good idea, you have barely experienced life. It's game over and you haven't even started.

Don't let this get to you and tell your lawyer about the peer pressure. All you did was slap an ass.

It's nothing and could be dropped. If you think your.lawyer sucks find another and pay in installments but damn a lil probation is no reason to off yourself.

I have a feeling your lawyer wants you to learn your lesson but will do ok by you.

Do you have other problems because chances are other peiple here have gone through the same and worse shit.

It would be a damn shame if you called it quite over something this miniscule.

Just cuz you were charged with a felony doesn't mean they will throw the book at you. Your lawyer should work out getting it lowered to a misdemeanor or dropped.

I am guessing you haven't even used your plea for judgement. I had a gf who embezzled thousands from her job and she didn't do any time.

Look no one tells you this but you still pay a public defender and its one charge so you could hire an attorney and probably get even better results but you are a minor with no priors.

Your charges are so small and what happened is relatively harmeless. It was rude so yeah I am sure the cops scared the shit out of you.

I am guessing you talked and were not read your rights and they played games. A decent lawyer would take full advantage of that.

Regardless I really would put money on you not doing time unless you chose jail over probation.

So just get a job, finish your ged, and life goes on.

I would think there is more going on than this if you are that upset. It's not fair to the site for you to do this here.

I mean do you want advice on how you can help yourself because you can.

If you get job and get your ged that will show you are trying and that goes a long ways.

Anyways I am not the best with this stuff but dude life is so beautiful and sure there are shit times but the good times are what makes it worth living and being 17 sucks sometimes.

All the homeschool crap ends now anyways and you grow up, get a job, find someone special and so on.

If you were ever religious maybe get back into that. If not think a bit about the world outside of what you know and what you want to see and do in your life.

Life is so great and I wish I was 17 again. If you reallt want to steer clear of jail for sure just join the army.

You have options mate. You have reasons to live more than you do to die. Nothing horrific has happened, people are just disappointed in you now but you can change that.

So please stay with us. I will respond to your posts ok. Please post back. If a stranger wants you to do better and stay alive there is hope in the very fabric of society.

You didn't do anything that bad. You are just a youngin, this will pass.

Trying to kill yourself doesnt always work and I know this firsthand. Its even worse to try to kill yourself and live with that fact but plenty ppl do and they get better.

You have your whole life ahead of you and they have to prove you guilty for you to get a sentence that is bad and the internet is not always accurate and your case is not textbook by a long shot.

Just hang in there and work every day towards being an adult and it will be fine. Life rarely gives you more than you can handle.

thank you so much for the kind words.
but no, i have not been in court yet. so i havent gotten my sentence but according to everything i've read so far, it's going to be at least a minimum of 1 year jail or more and i dont think i can take that.
also, my family dont have money to get a defense attorney, and we're trying to look for a court attorney if its free.
also, i am going through some depression in life.
my grades are terrible and now im caught up in this.
you may call this pathetic, but im a very weak person. this, to you may seem like a walk to the park, but to me, it's climbing an entire mountain.

 

[Shrooms00087]

the whole story is this
On April 28th, i saw the teacher. I went over to the group i hang out with and told them. stupid me said "im going to slap her ass if i see her again" as a joke.
all my the people said, "do it" "i dare you". So, yesterday, around 5th period, one of the kid had the same class as me for 5th period and he said, "the teacher is next door!"
i said, "i will slap her after class" he said "i dare you". so, being as dumb as i am, i actually took upon the dare and did it and ran away. a day later, security came to my 2nd period class and pulled me out of class. the police was standing outside and he handcuffed me, took me to the deen's office, i confessed and told them what happened, and i was under arrest.
looking back, i still hate myself from yesterday. i disgust the me from yesterday. but saying that wont make the fact that ive commited a crime any less true.

Rofl in the 50's you would've been handed lotion. I personally went out and egged cars, boats, and defaced all sorts of things and got caught. In Oklahoma were it's unfashionable to be soft on crime. I got about 20 hours of community service and a letter of apology.

 

[MyLife]

Rofl in the 50's you would've been handed lotion. I personally went out and egged cars, boats, and defaced all sorts of things and got caught. In Oklahoma were it's unfashionable to be soft on crime. I got about 20 hours of community service and a letter of apology.

really?
I live in Cali.
also, i got a prisoner's receipt. that means i'll be in jail/prison (unless they're two different things)
i dont know much about jails and prisons, but i know i will be locked up somewhere since they gave me a receipt

 

[oxyfen]

I think any judge would give a minor probation, it may be 6yrs probation. Judges know 17yr old kids are stupid sometimes, we all were. I don't think you will see any jail unless you keep getting stupid. Just tighten up and think before you act and don't try to impress stupid friends.

 

[oxyfen]

BTW, go apologize to the teacher and do it sincerely and she may forgive you and put in a kind word to the judge, no one wants to see a 17yr old get jail unless they just keep fucking up.

 

[starting_over]

How messed up is this... I can't believe you're facing a potential felony for slapping a teacher's butt. Yes, it's sexual battery but doing time for this at 17? No way, probably just some community service if you show sincere remorse.

I assume you can ask for a court appointed lawyer? I'm not a US citizen.

And go apologize to the teacher!!

 

[Brote125]

Dude don't beat yourself up so much. I did so many stupid things in high school that I laugh about today. Come to think of it there was this old very strict substitute and a friend of mine hugged her and the same type of thing happened. she flipped out on him, he got suspended, they tried to charge him with a crime. We were in 8th grade and all I remember is he was back in school like nothing happened a few weeks later. Granted this was pre columbine and things were different but I'm fairly sure you won't get time just be polite and apologetic with the judge and teacher if you have a chance and don't do it again. Definitely do not do anything crazy bro.

 

[dopemaster]

thank you so much for the kind words.
but no, i have not been in court yet. so i havent gotten my sentence but according to everything i've read so far, it's going to be at least a minimum of 1 year jail or more and i dont think i can take that.
also, my family dont have money to get a defense attorney, and we're trying to look for a court attorney if its free.
also, i am going through some depression in life.
my grades are terrible and now im caught up in this.
you may call this pathetic, but im a very weak person. this, to you may seem like a walk to the park, but to me, it's climbing an entire mountain.

Do you know what a suspended sentence is?

It's what they give everyone so you can pay them money to not be in jail.

They probably will make you do some shit kike counseling or drug treatment as well as community service but 2 to 3 hundred dollars a month is plenty.

It makes more sense to the judges to give you probation.I bet if you hired a lawyer you could get it down to a misdemeanor. The consultation should be free.

Not every crime is the same. Therr ate varying degrees and if they don't have a felony case it gets knocked down

Regardless I can't see anyone doing hard time or even time over this. Probation is probably the worst.

Time to get a job but it will be good for you.

I have been through the court system enough to know the no brainers.

I dont care what you read, whats your attorney saying?

If he isnt willing to put in time or effort for your defense you deserve a lawyer that doesn't assume you are guilty so ask your lawyer and if you don't like what you hear consult with another cuz they all do payment plans.

Also it gets dragged out overa year so buy a suit and stuff cuz it matters.

I think you are making this charge a bigger deal than it is and I get wanting out of it so much.

But I found out real quick it goes down like your lawyer will tell you. Btw you still are paying the public defender because they send you a bill.

Anyways make sure your lawyer is on your side and if you think your charges are bullshit, tell them.

If it made you this sad giving up is no good because you could use that energy to work on you and your situation.

When you go to court it does matter if you are working, dressed proper, and have a proper defense because they offer a plea bargain.

A plea bargain is a time saver and jail space saver and almost always used. So they offer a lesser crime for a guilty plea. Then they can make more money off you than having you in jail.

So it might be misdemeanor sexual harrasment or just misdemeabor batttery. Either way thats how it works.

I am surprised the state has a case that heavy on a high school student. They take it easy on minors and the main thing about a plea is no trial and those take forever and are risky for the prosecution.

So don't ever work yourself into a frenzy over what you read online.

The internet is not always right. How do you even know those numbers are accurate and current if so and you definitely don't know how other things like how the factors in your case affect what you are acutally charged with in court.

Unless there is more to this its not that big of a problem. If you are not honest about how bad things are and details are not needed, no one can really help you.

But yeah life has its problems. You can learn to avoid them and deal with them instead of running away you will be ok.

It is what you do from here that will affect your future. You could work and save money or get certified in s trade.r

Since your grades are bad you need to find an honest job.

So just go about your business and I think you will be happy. You are almost 18 anyways, since you are not in school now is the time to grow up and be an adult.

Thats what will make you happy, your life better, and your legal problems get better.

Did I mention I was looking at prisom at your age. I didn't get down because I just lawyered up and hoped for the best.

I went to school and worked when I turned 18. Around xmas I had court and my charges were dropped because the officer didn't show up to testify.

 

[MyLife]

Just came back from school.
The assistant principal said I'm suspended 5 days for now.
During the 5 days, they'll investigate. If they think I deserve an expulsion, i'll be moving school to a continuary school for 1 year then i have the right to come back to my current school. i also apologized to the teacher from the bottom of my heart. my dad is also being very understanding right now. he knows im currently scared and is very stressed, and my mom is also giving me kind words. im grateful for that. So, so far, my school side of things sounds pretty decent. its all about court that i need to worry about now. im getting a court attorney soon.

 

[MyLife]

also, one question. what do you have to do on probation? i know you take classes, report to officers and stuff, but it also say pay some fines.
how much are the fines? and is it paid one time only or a monthly probation fine or something like that?

 

[MyLife]

I pray to god that the judges will have some mercy on a stupid 17 years old like me and let me go on probation.
If not, idk what to do. I don't want to be in prison or jail. just thinking about it now, being separated from the world for who knows how long, it's so scary.
plus, if it's a long time, there's no point to live because when i'm released, i'll be a felon with no jobs and the crime cant be expunge since it's prison time.

 

[MyLife]

if they can give me a chance to prove that i can be a better citizen, i'll be grateful tenfold

 

[Erikmen]

I had written the following through my mobile device thinking that I was responding directly to you.

today 12:19

Trust me, you don't want to do that. There are so many things that can go wrong. You don't know what's on the other side. This could destroy you physically, think also about your parents. They will be devastated. You are just thinking on worst possible things and you are just a kid.

Talk to your folks as honestly as you can. And to the teacher to your director.

I have been through this, wanted my life to end too but at the end things change and you will be able to think of another solution. You are young and have a future ahead. PM me if you want and we can talk about this. I am at work now. But just try not to think about ending your life. You don't solve things like that.

Stay strong, positive. Talk to your folks. You have an entire life ahead and this is not how you'll solve this.

Be well, we will talk later.​

 

[MyLife]

I had written the following through my mobile device thinking that I was responding directly to you.

today 12:19

Trust me, you don't want to do that. There are so many things that can go wrong. You don't know what's on the other side. This could destroy you physically, think also about your parents. They will be devastated. You are just thinking on worst possible things and you are just a kid.

Talk to your folks as honestly as you can. And to the teacher to your director.

I have been through this, wanted my life to end too but at the end things change and you will be able to think of another solution. You are young and have a future ahead. PM me if you want and we can talk about this. I am at work now. But just try not to think about ending your life. You don't solve things like that.

Stay strong, positive. Talk to your folks. You have an entire life ahead and this is not how you'll solve this.

Be well, we will talk later.​

]
Thank you. For some reason, I can't message you for 180 minutes because I sent 1 message before.
But I'm currently really scared right now.
Everyone here is saying probation, and while that does ease my heart a bit, online sources does scare me a lot.
I don't have an attorney yet because 1. they're too expensive 2. I don't know how to get a court attorney. Online sources says I need to talk to the judge, but I haven't even meet the judge yet until June 30th.
All I can think of right is the worst, which is 1-6 years of prison time.
When I get out, I will not have any jobs because I'm a felon.
I'm just stressed out and feel like I could kill myself any moment now.
Hanging? Jumping off a roof? Cutting? Drowning? Sleep pills overdosed?
I don't know...
I'm just too scared and depressed to even keep the positive thing on the forefront of my brain.
Bed time feels like im someone with insomnia. and I have to deal with this for the next 2 months until I hear my sentence.
It's just too scary.
I can't think about the positive things, because if i get prison time, i'd probably fall into more despair of the sentence didnt meet my expectation.
I keep on thinking about the worst because if i get the worst, i can say, "well, i expected it" and end myself. or feel super relief because the sentence was too good to be true.
right now, all i can feel is remorse and hate myself.
i dont want to be locked up man. not for something as stupid and pathetic as slapping a teacher's butt.
i still have goals. but this one prison time can fuck it for me.
prison time felonies cant be expunged.

waiting til June 30th is like hanging on a rope. if im lucky, someone will pull me up. if im unlucky, the rope will rip and i fall.

 

[MyLife]

Do you know what a suspended sentence is?

It's what they give everyone so you can pay them money to not be in jail.

They probably will make you do some shit kike counseling or drug treatment as well as community service but 2 to 3 hundred dollars a month is plenty.

It makes more sense to the judges to give you probation.I bet if you hired a lawyer you could get it down to a misdemeanor. The consultation should be free.

Not every crime is the same. Therr ate varying degrees and if they don't have a felony case it gets knocked down

Regardless I can't see anyone doing hard time or even time over this. Probation is probably the worst.

Time to get a job but it will be good for you.

I have been through the court system enough to know the no brainers.

I dont care what you read, whats your attorney saying?

If he isnt willing to put in time or effort for your defense you deserve a lawyer that doesn't assume you are guilty so ask your lawyer and if you don't like what you hear consult with another cuz they all do payment plans.

Also it gets dragged out overa year so buy a suit and stuff cuz it matters.

I think you are making this charge a bigger deal than it is and I get wanting out of it so much.

But I found out real quick it goes down like your lawyer will tell you. Btw you still are paying the public defender because they send you a bill.

Anyways make sure your lawyer is on your side and if you think your charges are bullshit, tell them.

If it made you this sad giving up is no good because you could use that energy to work on you and your situation.

When you go to court it does matter if you are working, dressed proper, and have a proper defense because they offer a plea bargain.

A plea bargain is a time saver and jail space saver and almost always used. So they offer a lesser crime for a guilty plea. Then they can make more money off you than having you in jail.

So it might be misdemeanor sexual harrasment or just misdemeabor batttery. Either way thats how it works.

I am surprised the state has a case that heavy on a high school student. They take it easy on minors and the main thing about a plea is no trial and those take forever and are risky for the prosecution.

So don't ever work yourself into a frenzy over what you read online.

The internet is not always right. How do you even know those numbers are accurate and current if so and you definitely don't know how other things like how the factors in your case affect what you are acutally charged with in court.

Unless there is more to this its not that big of a problem. If you are not honest about how bad things are and details are not needed, no one can really help you.

But yeah life has its problems. You can learn to avoid them and deal with them instead of running away you will be ok.

It is what you do from here that will affect your future. You could work and save money or get certified in s trade.r

Since your grades are bad you need to find an honest job.

So just go about your business and I think you will be happy. You are almost 18 anyways, since you are not in school now is the time to grow up and be an adult.

Thats what will make you happy, your life better, and your legal problems get better.

Did I mention I was looking at prisom at your age. I didn't get down because I just lawyered up and hoped for the best.

I went to school and worked when I turned 18. Around xmas I had court and my charges were dropped because the officer didn't show up to testify.

Even if they give me an option to have a suspended sentence, it will probably be super expensive like 5-10 grand.
my parents cant afford that. they barely make enough just to put food on the table, water to shower, and eletricity for light.
what you're saying does ease my heart a bit, but it doesnt ease the weight.
also, i still havent gotten a chance to meet the judge yet. june 30th is my first time.
also, my brain tends to believe what sounds like the worst. i dont know why.
but all i can do is hope judges will have some mercy on me after i explain things to them. its a mistake, but i will learn from this mistake. this mistake woke me up.
so if they can just offer me one chance. just one chance to be productive. one chance to prove i can change. just one chance. thats all i beg for.