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Getting off Oxycodone for good

Blueballs69 said:
I appreciate your continued support TPD.. lord knows I need it. And I agree that I will figure this out eventually - but the sooner the better. Ideally it happens now.

If I approach a doctor for these drugs I'm assuming it will go on my medical history. I am trying to avoid any evidence of this problem if at all possible. If I go to the doctor and get these drugs for this purpose will it put me on any sort of list that I'm prone to addiction and/or not allow me to get pain medication for a major surgery in 20 years? I am seriously considering going if the visit won't come back to haunt me one day (potentially far) in the future.
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No problem, it's our pleasure :)

I shared your fears about having this kind of thing in my medical files for a long time, but it turned out to be rather unfounded. In my experience doctors have no problem prescribing opioids and gabaergic medications when necessary, such as surgery or to treat acute panic disorders, whether you're a known "addict" or not.

Coming out to judgemental doctors can be tough for other reasons though, but IMO your better off working with your doctor. If they turn out to be a unprofessional in this regard or refuse to work with you to accomplish your goals regarding substance use disorder, it's worth figuring that out so you can find a more professional and supportive medical professional. They might be hard to find some places, but they're definitely out there! Working with such individuals really helped me get off heroin and then methadone.
 
You're the best dude. Do you have recommendations as to what type of medical practitioner would be more understanding or likely to prescribe me without any judgment or issue? And how long should I take each and in what mg? I know the doc will tell me - but I respect the opinion of someone who has actually taken the drug and been through it. Doctors overprescribe all the time (usually innocently). Thanks again man.
 
I'll edit this post with that info when I am free later tonight. It sounds like you are getting genuinely into and excited about your recovery. No one could ask for more! Keep up the good work and ttys.
 
Thanks man. And yeah I'm definitely genuinely into and excited about my recovery. I know I may falter - but I also know I've been successful in the past as well. I'm old enough and removed enough from those people and that lifestyle that if I remove myself this time it will truly be for good. Just have to actually get there! And I do have my doubts I'll be able to do it... but again all I can do is try and god/the universe/ whatever knows my intentions and heart are pure.
 
Don't forget you will always know when intentions are in the right place as well my friend :)
 
Today is day 3 no oxy... haven't felt the need to take sub yet today, but that is also prob because I scored some dank nug last night.

Today is by far the best I've felt. That being said I still feel pretty far from center. Compared to the past two days though - with numerous flashes of anxiousness and depression - today is great. I know the nug has something to do with it.. but I also know the 3 day separation from oxy has something to do with it as well.

I've taken WAY more sub than I anticipated.. first two days 12mg each ?. First day 8mg then later 4mg, yesterday 4mg at 7am, 4mg at 2pm, and 4mg at 6pm (second and third dose of day 2 coinciding with moments of depression and craving). Scary testament to my current tolerance (between 150-180mg daily).

Today however, I haven't felt the need to take any sub. I also took a bar and a half of Xanax yesterday (maybe 2 bars?) to deal with the anxiety and depression and craving, and the 2 bars and 12mg of sub made me feel fuuuuucked upp (and not in a good way - in a "ew this shit is gross I need off all this garbage" way). So today I'm not taking anything unless the depression, anxiety or withdrawal creeps back in. The weed is helping though, a lot, with all three of those nasty symptoms.
 
Just a quick update... 6pm day 3 and still no sub taken today. Mj is def a game changer for my withdrawal. Also prob has something to do with the 24mg total I took the past 2 days ?
 
I've found cannabis to be a big help in my own recovery from heroin addiction. I'm glad to hear you're feeling on top of things.
 
730pm on day 4.. ended up taking 4mg last night (in 2 separate 2mg doses) and another 2mg at 7am this morning. About to take another 2mg.

I haven't been to work all week... lol. My boss has been out but I planned to go. I think tomorrow I'm going to go back as I am finally starting to feel better (albeit I am feeling better while still under the influence of suboxone, Xanax and weed.. lol). Cannibus has been a game changer and really helped me stay the course as well as mitigating withdrawal symptoms, both physical and mental.

I won't be taking more than 2mg of sub moving forward, though I would like to cut my dose to once daily. As far as Xanax the first day I took ~2 bars, yesterday a bar, and today only half a bar. So things are trending in the proper direction. And 4 days clean off full agonists! And that's with access literally a room away. No desire to touch those nasty things (as of now, at least).

Is there anyway to check if I'm lowering my tolerance and allowing my brain the chance to heal while on sub? I know there are opiate conversion calculators but I find most won't convert oral bupe to oral oxy (which is so strange). I was taking 150mg daily oxy. Currently I'm taking 4mg daily sub (in two separate 2mg doses spaced roughly 12 hours apart) plus whatever is lingering in me from the first few days of withdrawal.

EDIT: where's my boy TPD?!
 
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Unfortunately, I don't think there's any way (short of using) to test for a decreasing tolerance. For what it's worth, the process of a tolerance to opioids dropping is usually quite slow, so I think it's unlikely that much has changed there.

But keep doing the awesome fucking work you're doing and you'll be in great shape before you know it. (Ok, that might be an exaggeration;) )
 
Hahha I just want to make sure my sub use isn't raising my tolerance and that I'm giving my brain room to heal. I'm not asking in the context of "will 'x' amount of oxy fuck me up now".. I'm asking if I'm taking a lower equivalent dose of sub (compared to 150mg oxy) so my brain is slowly learning to make its own endorphins again. I don't wanna come off sub and be in complete depression cuz my brain is still used to such a high dose of opiate.
 
Update day 5 without full agonist opiates. Took 2mg sub this morning.. about to get ready to head into work (it's currently 9:45AM - works starts at 830AM). ?

Which brings me to my next question: does suboxone make adderall obsolete (aka kill the effects)? Both Wednesday and Thursday I planned to trek into work. I would wake up, take 15mg adderall, put 2mg of sub under my tongue, and roll over with my alarm set for a half hour later. Wednesday and Thursday I don't even remember any alarms going off and woke up at 2pm.. lol. Today same deal, I missed like 5 alarms before my 9:30 alarm went off (I'm assuming from subconscious snoozing). I have no recollection of snoozing the alarm any of the previous days, but that's another story.

I'm wondering why the 15mg adderall (XR so it releases slowly - but amphetamine nonetheless!) has failed to wake me up 3 days in a row. Well, maybe it had something to do with my eventually waking up today, but wed and thurs I slept right through til 2pm! While 15mg of amphetamine was coursing through my bloodstream!

I purposely did not up the dose from 15mg because I'm trying to detox over here, and because at the end of the day my presence wasn't imperative this week (boss away) but I want to show face today because my one to two day buffer has turned into a full week off from work real quick ? Lol. Hoping no repercussions at work - and I do plan to go in today - though it is looking like it's gonna be a half day at best lol.

5th day since I've taken a dose of oxy. Resolve still strong. No desire to take a blue even when they're in the drawer next to me. Not even an iota of an itch.

Today will be my most "normal day" in years. Head into work (hours late ) ? without doing a blue before or throughout, then go eat dinner with my parents and any siblings that may be around, also without doing a blue before and after. Makes me slightly anxious - oxy has been a crutch for a couple years now (even longer - but daily for last couple years). I just hope now 5 days removed my personality has evened out enough that I can be my "normal" self - even if it takes alil extra effort ?
 
^^
There's no chemical reason that subs should interfere with the effects of amphetamine. But your brain is probably a pretty chaotic place right now, trying to find equilibrium after your quit, and getting used to the new meds. So I'd attribute the perceived lack of effect from that adderall to the recalibration process. It's easy to forget what a big project our brains (and other systems in our bodies) go through post-acute withdrawal.

Hang in there, man. The process is gradual, but you'll start feeling like yourself more and more. <3
 
Oooff it's tough man.. staying the course though. Made it into work by noon ("where the hell have you been?" Sick...) lol.

Feeling decent but I didn't realize what a trigger work would be. Home was one thing... pursuant to my "habit" I had certain times of day or moments of boredom that I would sniff half a blue at work. Coming to work has been my biggest trigger yet, ironically. Don't worry I'm not going to do one - doubt it would work anyway with the 5 days worth of sub in me.

Dinner later should be interesting, but I think it'll be good. Just hope those nagging feelings of anxiety and depression don't creep in.

I also ordered something off the internet called "gotu kola." Anyone ever heard of it? Supposed to help with those same feelings of anxiety and depression I just mentioned (and because my buddy TPD went MIA!)
 
I hear ya about work. I eventually quit my job; just couldn't do it anymore without getting into an awful headspace. (Not saying that's going to be your experience...just my own).

You're doing great. Congrats on getting back to the job. That's a big step.
 
Yeah, and it went pretty well. Also had sex with a chick tonight - was tempted to do oxy cuz I kno when ur coming off the shit ur cock is so sensitive that u cum in 10 strokes or less - which is horrible for my ego since I consider my sexual prowess exceptional (not to come off like a complete asshole...lol.)

I've had experiences where I looked like I was blowing smoke cuz I talked a big game then came in about 30 seconds. That's more than a slice of humble pie - that's the whole damn humble pie factory. Extremely embarassing and makes you feel a way that's difficult to put into words.

Tonight however, I said fuck it. Invited this sexy ass Puerto Rican and Syrian chick over with a fat ass and went to town on her. I'm well aware my orgasm control is directly attributable to the sub I was on - but it was reassuring because I wasn't sure if sub was enough to do the trick due to it only being a partial agonist.

One of my "excuses" to use would be having sex with a chick.. because I had a habit where I was afraid my penis would be sensitive i used oxy to ensure I could perform. Before I figured out my overly sensitive cock was due to my opiate abuse I was beyond confused and had no idea wtf was happening to me. For the duration of my young adult life I could go for hours with no drugs or alcohol - now I cum instantaneously. One of the things I'm looking forward to the most is feeling every feeling that comes with sex. Cuz even with oxy u perform - u rock that bitches world. But with no drugs ur right in that blissfully euphoria with her.

EDIT: I am 6 days clean off full agonist opiates..!
 
Blueballs69 said:
You're the best dude. Do you have recommendations as to what type of medical practitioner would be more understanding or likely to prescribe me without any judgment or issue? And how long should I take each and in what mg? I know the doc will tell me - but I respect the opinion of someone who has actually taken the drug and been through it. Doctors overprescribe all the time (usually innocently). Thanks again man.
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Apologies for being MIA, been on vacation. Do you still need help with this stuff?

Big congrats on the progress you're making! Not a small thing at all. Please give yourself due credit for the hard work you're doing not using. It can be hard to appreciate it at the time with all you're going through, but it's definitely worth appreciating.

Btw the kola nut (did you get an extract or the actual fruit or whatever?) isn't too crazy. It's a bit of a stim like coffee/caffeine. Definitely avoid using it after 12 noon given it's a stim and those can contribute to insomnia. And definitely avoid combining it with anything else (particulaly another stim like amps) before you have a good idea how it will affect you.

Very Nigerian of you btw. You should take it while reading an Achebe book ;)
 
TPD funny seeing u here.. as I'm currently having my strongest urge to use since stopping. My buddy is having a kid tonight and we all plan to get fucked up / celebrate. His baby mama is in labor as we speak. As I have learned, suboxone not only blocks opiates, but alcohol as well, and numbs the effects of any drug to some degree. I haven't taken sub in 12 hours. I know the right decision is to take the sub. But shit man, I wanna celebrate the birth of one of my best friends child with everyone (I have a wild crew - they do not do opiates though). If I took the night off and resumed my sub tomorrow am I screwed? Do I suck it up and take the sub but have this wonderful memory tarnished by my lingering withdrawal and the emotional numbness that comes along with sub? Will I even feel anything? Something else unclear - an 8mg sub becomes 4mg after 36 hours. Is it gone after 72 hours or is it 2mg at 72hrs. Anyone and everyone please weigh in. Thank you.
 
I'd take the buprenorphine. This is an important event, but your health should really take priority. You still will be able to experience and appreciate the joy of this event, even with the buprenorphine in your system. You really should avoid excessive drug use of any drug use that might lead to any kind of hangover given your still detoxing.

Right now is probably really hard for you urging wise because you're stressing yourself thinking of what drugs you'll use tonight, whether to take your medication (the Suboxone), etc. That will definitely lead to active craving for most people. I would ask you what you're thinking of using tonight, but if you want to experience the event for what it is, really feeling it all, I suggest you make a decision now to just take the buprenorphine and not get super fucked up on anything else.

Right now, if cravings are bad, what has worked for me is just making a decision about using or not using, THEN making a decision to set devoting any more mental resources thinking about that aside until the actual event (by making a decision about what you'll do tonight using wise and then setting that asidie - doesn't really matter what you decide, the idea is to make a decision and then do something like the following to distract yourself as the cravings pass; it takes about 20 minutes under ideal circumstances to stabilize your mood again), and then doing something to distract yourself like going out for a hike or walk or something to distract me till the craving passes.

It all about where you place your attention - focusing on what you'll be using will aggravate any craving/urging, whereas focusing on something in the here and now (physical activity, particularly something aerobic can be really good for this).
 
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I've already retracted my decision. All I had to do was smoke a little bud lol. I also am consciously not taking sub. But not for the purest of reasons (I.e. If I do decide to get fucked up im creating distance). But I was craving to the point I was about to do a blue right now lol. If we're doin this tonight I'm gettin fuckin started.

But yea, it's funny the peaks and valleys. That's the first craving I've had since starting bupe. 6 days with no craving. Prob because I haven't taken bupe in 12-13 hours (and it was only 2mg, compared to days 1 and 2 where I took 12mg each day.. insane!). It also clearly has to do with this major life event. If I was sitting on my ass tonight the sub would already be under my tongue. Even if I slip tonight I'm forging forward again tomorrow. Just hate the idea of a setback - whether or not it ends up being major or minor.
 
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