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Recovery Road to Recovery

Wow, that is indeed good news about the funding for the Patient's Rights Organization! What are the main things that you will be advocating for?

You guys are so many miles ahead of us in both treatment and understanding. No rehab here ever addresses socioeconomic issues and that is just absurd.
 
Our goals are to:
We want national standards for treatment and enforcing of them as some places have it better and some worse. There are areas in which socioeconomic aspect is not dealt well enough and the requirements to get into treatment vary too. Some might require even three attempts at getting clean and some require none. Waiting times vary from zero to over six months. In some places you get a permission to take your medication home sooner than in others. Double-diagnosis patients may have to go to two clinics instead getting their whole treatment at the same place. Some offer free public transport cards and others don't. Some allow simultanuous benzo treatment and some don't. Penalties for violating the rules for example using other drugs vary too much because as an example just few months ago in my place you could use cannabis without any penalties but 25 mile away you would lose your permission to take your drugs home for two weeks. Making ORT clinics to distribute other needed drugs too because in some places they are distributed by pharmacies and as those are distributed once a week it costs 25 to 50€ just for the dispensing depending on pharmacy which is ridiculous because the drugs itself cost a fraction of those or are even free. Also we want that each ORT patient in a clinic has a dedicated doctor who mainly treats ORT patients instead of the dedicated doctor being based upon postal address as normal doctors often are not familiar with diseases often associated to drug abusers or cannot deal with dual-diagnosis patient's medications and (rarely) tend to prioritize treatment of "normal" patients and won't take their health problems seriously.

In some places ORT clinics locate elsewhere than regular health centers or hospitals and to lessen the stigma and for purpose of giving access for all other treatment people need we want every ORT clinic to operate as a normal ward of a medical center or hospital. This also helps with the transportation issue because buses and other public transport regurarly stop at those places with a short intervals. My ORT clinic operates at a public health center and it doesn't look any different from other wards of that health center and there haven't been any disorderly conduit but some looks like a prison with even bulletproof glass window between the worker and a patient as well as security officers being present at the lobby although there haven't been security problems anymore than in normal healthcare settings.

We are trying to improve access to healthy daytime activities for example getting daytime centers where people can socialize with others instead of just hanging in the streets. These aren't meant to be just for ORT patients but also for unemployed or whoever wants a place where he/she wants to spend time. This would also lessen the stigma and let people from different social groups to mix.

We want to work with different public actors such as unemployment services to give out information about what it means to be in ORT. Also we want to give real image of ORT patients to law enforcement agencies so that they don't harass ORT patients just because they have abused drugs as they are now in the road of rehabilitation. Working with employers is also on agenda as we want to get rid of that stigma and prejudicements and wrong assumptions like that being on ORT means being high all the time and because that you can't work or drive a car. Also we want to co-operate with schools so that ORT patients can get back to educating themselves and also we wan't them to guide students with arising drug problem to a right places and putting their right for education in hold instead of just terminating it.

Then there is a aspect of marketing ORT to drug abusers in needle exchangies and other places and instituties helping drug abusers.

Also we want to lessen the public stigma and making sure that being in ORT doesn't mean you are an inferior person but instead a real person who wants to deal with his or hers problems and improve quality of life. We want to get rid of stereotypies regarding ORT patient.

Then we want to let our voice heard when politicians are making decisions about healthcare which includes ORT.

Also for the members we will be doing a magazine and a website in which we share our stories and also have various contents which relate to ORT patients lives as well as news of what is happening in the field.
 
Thx mate!

I have also been lobbying for a local needle exchange point as currently the nearest one is in the next city (20miles) and currently our community council has started to review the idea and are circulating anonymous feedback forms about the need for that and how it would be best organized in our ORT clinic and other places that help drug addicts as well as in that nearest needle exchanging point.

I really do feel that most politicians need info from someone with a background of having addiction as they first thought that the best way to run it would be leave it up to the ORT clinic staff but that wouldn't work imo as the clinic advocates against IV use and if you get caught using home doses of your replacement drug(or other prescribed drugs) IV by having new injection marks or such you get penalty in a form of losing your right to take your doses home so it would be controversial for the same staff to exchange needles and still supervise for IV use as that would pretty much cause those to that use their home doses IV to not exchange their needles there.

Although I haven't used needle and I advocate against it I still think it would be more harm reduction to allow even those who use their home doses IV to do so with clean needles and good filters than used or even shared needles and cotton filters.

There is a communal elections coming up within a month and I've been stirring up some talk about the need for that needle exchange and some candidates have even publicly agreed to support of it if the review shows that there is need for that.

It seems like I have been mindwashed as I don't even see those penalties given by the clinic as penalties but instead as a way for them to give more help for those in need. I mean that if you do have a positive test for other drugs it is actually good for you to have to come into the clinic daily for the next two weeks (or one week if you admit having used before the test result comes off) as then you have an opportunity to talk about your cravings everyday and don't get drugs with you which you can exchange easily into other drugs in the streets. I guess I am the only one in our clinic who thinks like that.

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Being in ORT feels somewhat like having training wheels. It feels so easy to get along but at the same time I feel the need to be able to do without like every kid who is trying to learn how to ride a bike. Yet the same time I do know I am not ready.

I can get a lot of stuff done and be able to live as close as possible to the way I lived before my opiate addiction. I can get the support I need and learn new skills to cope with my life.

At the same time I do know I get it easy as I got most of my drugs by prescription when abusing and some others through overseas pharmacies. I don't have the same background of most drug addicts that I have met during rehab stays at support groups or in our experience expert group. I haven't had to grab cash in any way as possible to feed my need for drugs or decide between if I should buy drugs or something I truly need or act with drug dealers or exchange my drugs between other users or getting in trouble with law being under influence or anything like that.

Therefore I haven't had the need for learning how to clean my house or do real food or how to apply for a job or deal with different authorities etc.

Also as I haven't got any big issues with other drugs it has been easy to stay away from those the whole time which isn't the norm in here.

I am not saying that I am any better person or anything but instead that I have had it easier but I still have the same addiction as the others have and the underlying causes are the same.

I don't think anyone needs to hit the rock bottom to be able to get out of their drug use while often people tend to say that for any real progress for an addict to start happen they have to hit that rock bottom.

For the same reason I am against NA as according to them it is required that for one to get better they have to admit that they are totally helpless in front of their addiction and their life has spiralled out of control AS WELL AS they need some flying spaghetti monster to heal their mental health.

I can say my life was a mess and I was quite a helpless but not helpless enough to not tell about my addiction to professionals before anything truly bad or life threatening happened. Also I haven't needed anything religious or supreme power to fix my life.

Instead what I have needed has been quite hard mental work and learning to cope with my emotions and I couldn't have been done that without the help from the people around me and from all off the professionals.

In my opinion going through the NA steps is clinging to a false hope while outsourcing the dealing of the problems to something that in my opinion doesn't exist instead of actually dealing with all the real problems behind the use.

I guess that in the future I am going to get people together to get SMART Recovery going on here too.

Tl:dr All is well and have managed to get some HR done. I am bit anxious to move on from ORT but it is way too early. NA sucks and I want it SMART.
 
You my friend are an exceptional case of just what we can accomplish once the piece come together and we get the support we need.

What is springtime like in Finland?
 
I have to add that plenty of my wellbeing is because BL. In active phase I was able to get HR info on dosages and about combinations to avoid as well that all the horror stories on IV use and knowledge that I just can't make safe enough solution from pills stopped me from starting IV usage and while I started my recovery process I got plenty of real support and tips which have kept me going to right direction.

Thermic spring is just about to start and all the snow that has been gathered here has started to melt but there is still plenty of it. I would guess over 120cm of snow still left.

Daylight is back again and is ever increasing and has started to even feel somewhat warming when being outside and some of the birds have already started migrating back here which fills the daytime walks with a lot of tchirpy and tweety sounds which weren't there during the winter.

Main roads are bare asphalt now and it is easy to drive but smaller roads are either wet or slushy during daytime and become really slippery when the surface refreezes during the night leaving them like just maintained ice rink.

It actually seems like people are seeming happier now that they don't have to worry about freezing over and the eternal darkness has finally stood aside :)

Not more than a month and people start to drink (or otherwise spend time) outside again.

I really do love the increased daylight as it makes me feel more energetic but during middle of the summer it will start being bothersome as there is simply too much of it as sun never sets and I can't sleep unless I can completely block it from the view by having a good blinders and such.

For most of the foreigners it would actually be the best time to enjoy Finland as there is still plenty of snow in the northern parts and dark enough during night time to see northern lights but it has already started to warm up.
 
Sounds like Dreamland to me :) definitely a country on my list of place left to visit. Talk about what must be a celebrated transition from winter - I remember how living in a place where we'd get snow four or five months a year, and when the spring would come and the green leaves would return everyone would start frolicking outside and generally get pretty rowdy. With the intensity of your winters, the frolicking must be likewise pretty fun!

Intense winters and intense springs, like I said: Dreamland.
 
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Yeah I guess if we would got just a bit more intense winter we would start to hibernate during it :)

Actually most of us tend to become less active during winters in many ways.

During the coldest time we just hop into our cars and drive to our workplaces and then back to home except during the days we hoard for food and the other stuff from the store. Everything noncompulsary isn't being done at all.

Transition from winter to spring is really a good time and truly deserves some celebration and it has been quite important time in old tradition as people have started to get ready for doing agricultural work.

Relationships are formed mostly during spring and summer and typical birth date is nine months from midsummer.

There are plenty of festivals being held from spring to fall all over the country.
 
Forgot to take my Suboxone yesterday somehow and noticed it this morning when I felt like a shit when waking up and wen't to my drug safe to take my dose.

Now I am end up with extra dose which I'll have to dispose by my own as I don't want to bring it to the clinic to avoid any guesstimations if I should be on a lower dose and I truly have to dispose it or otherwise I'll end up trading it to other drugs. Just waiting for some willpower to be able to get rid of those thoughts about trading it and getting wasted on something.

Bought some bacon flavored cheesy puffs as a comfort food and am currently going through that bag while waiting something to happen so I can just dispose that extra dose :)

I really need to discuss about my current UA system as although it should be random I have for months ended up giving my UA on thursday as I have an appointment on a clinic on that day and also don't have anywhere to rush after the appointment so I can wait for my turn on the health center's lab without a problem.

I get my dose over the weekend during the same day and I have had some thoughts about that I could use something after giving UA and still be without sanctions.

Of course I have to deal with that urge to use something also on my own instead of blaming others handing me an opportunity to use.
 
If it helps any, getting rid of the dose will be of great benefit in terms of your psychology and behavior. Pharmacologically speaking, double dosing on buprenorphine won't do much of anything in terms of harm, but having an extra dose sitting around temping you or knowing you did something you don't feel like you should have done (that same old shame again) will cause you harm.

I know I already mentioned this, but it is great to have you back MR! Enjoy you cheese snacks :)
 
Got rid of it by flushing.

I have heard by the way that it is sometimes used in the treatment to give double dose that should carry over without having to dose the next day.

Have anyone of you tried double dosing in order to not have to dose within 48 hours? Or heard about how efficient that is?

I have some red teaming work coming up at the end of the month which requires me to work with a tight schedule and pretty much most of the time I'll be working atleast with one other member and some of them are people I would rather not be telling about being on ORT although my contractor knows about it of course.

If I could get along without having to feel weird I would rather do the double dose than dissolve my dose while doing my work or skipping the dose.
 
Nice work.

Double dosing (not taking twice a large a dose, but dosing as far apart during the same day as possible) is far preferable to dosing one day and not the other, but nothing beats taking your meds daily.

Skipping one day dosing was never too horrible for me when I was on buprenoprhine though. It might make sense to use something to potentiate the buprenoprhine for the second dose, like diphenhydramine and/or cimetidine (just a warning, the cimetidine will make you feel buzzed if you use it, and daily use has side effects I don't think you'd want to know).
 
I guess I'll just have to stick to dissolving my tablets whenever I have the option during that time.

Too bad I can't get them as a strips with me although they do use strips when you go there to take your dose supervised.

The manufacturer of the strips did a minor change into the ingredients and forgot that they would need to get through the validation process for drugs to be able to enter the market again and so all the new batches of strips were taken out of the market as soon as some officials spotted they had changed the ingredients. Therefore the clinics here are using strips for supervised doses as they dissolve faster and take home doses are given as pills.

I talked about my thoughts on UA and they decided to make it more variable in the future.

By the way I noticed that Finland has placed fifth in a UN ranking for happiness which seems illogical as no one actually describes a stereotypical finnish person being happy but then I looked into the definition of happiness and the stats they use to calculate it for that ranking and I guess I can agree that in general we do quite well. Still those aspects the study used would be better described as a contempt but World Contempt Report wouldn't sound as good :)

For example perceiving how your government is corruption free isn't much of a daily source for happiness for an individual unless you are actually really interested in that stuff but I guess it also means that more of your tax money is used towards something that actually benefits you in a one way or another.
 
Had a dentist visit today and couldn't get into the chair without them giving me alprazolam as I have such a fear for dentists.

Well things got worse after them saying they need to extract a tooth and I was freaking out and they gave me a choice to either get midazolam or skip the much needed treatment and I went along getting midazolam and I had to be dosed twice in order for them to extract the tooth.

So now I am buzzed although that wasn't my intention and I guess I feel guilty and crappy after the buzz has worn off.

Tooth pain that started at the morning is gone though.

I think I need to understand that it wasn't my intention to get wasted on benzos but inevitable as I suffer so much for the fear of dentists.
 
I agree, your intentions here weren't in the wrong at all. It is cool they were willing to work with you to provide of the sedation though. I have no doubt they just wanted you to be comfortable. It's funny how incredible strong we can be in many ways (I'm thinking of your professional background MR), yet the every day struggles we encounter like everyone else.

On another note, I bet dentists would be a great audience to benefit from learning more about MBSR related stuff. They could use the techniques on the daily to help their patients get the most out of the treatments they receive.
 
I'm glad you got to get that tooth out of there I suffered with a tooth that we tried to save for a couple years and I had it pulled Last Summer and I got dry socket it's true that was really really really painful so be really careful about sucking on any straws or anything like that my brother had 3 teeth pulled and he didn't even have to take a pain reliever Arden Astaire don't give anything exceptforthe shot in the mouth to numb you or laughing gas
 
TPD, yeah it is funny as I would feel more comfortable patrolling war zone than sitting in a dentist's chair :)

MBSR would be good and it should start while being in the waiting room as that is where the actual stress starts to build up. If someone or something could stop the spiraling out of control while waiting for your appointment it would be much easier to treat when you are actually trying to get into that chair.

There isn't not much to do except to worry what is going to happen when you actually go to the dentist's room while you are waiting for your turn.

Nomas, sadly we don't have the laughing gas option here as I would have tried that instead.

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I was sitting in my desk writing a coverage about how right wing politicians are doing campaigning for communal elections while I suddenly was hit with a thought that what the f*** does my current daytime job actually contribute towards the society. Does anyone feel better for what I am doing? Atleast when I do security related jobs sometimes I feel I am actually doing something.

Any other freelancer can write about politics or the other stuff I usually do write about and how does my writing for example help the unemployed guy who cannot even get out of his apartment without being drunk or drugged out?

Also as I could have a secure income without actually doing nothing thanks to benefits and pension from military why shouldn't I reach out for doing something that could benefit others pragmatically? I could get back to school and start a new career without it being too troublesome for me.

So I have thought today a lot about wanting to get into a field of rehabilitation and also to be as pragmatical as I can while on it. Now I am in the middle of browsing the web for getting information on the requirements for people doing rehab work and will discuss about it on the monday when I have next appointment at the clinic.

When I have fully recovered I guess I could benefit of having first hand experience about addiction if working on that field. Sometimes it just feels stupid when the worker who should be able to help you doesn't know a shit about the drugs in question. I remember once going through a discussion with a drug counselor about withdrawals of psychedelics as I had crossed on the questionnaire having used some psychedelics in the past.

I guess the worst example I know about education on drugs and how to not do it was when a social worker gave a lecture in our high school and she was concerned of cannabis needles that are left laying everywhere and reminded about safe disposal of needles after injecting cannabis. The whole lecture was actually so hilarious that I remember it even today as it included for example a warning of intentionally cutting yourself as under the influence you might think your hand is an apple and you then try to peel the skin out your hand in order to eat that apple.

I don't know if this feeling I currently have will pass or maybe it could be just part of the progress but I really do feel that maybe I could help others suffering from addiction in the future and that I would get something beneficial out of it for myself too.

Every job I have had has contained atleast a part of a customer service or otherwise working with and/or for other people and for example as when in Afghanistan as a peace keeper I could actually feel that someone is going to benefit from what I am doing which kept me sane no matter the conditions in there.
 
That is brilliant MR! =D

I have always sensed from you that your personality is of the "helper" professions (nurse, doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, social worker, etc).

My only caveat is to encourage you not to rush yourself please. You have the rest of your life to set yourself up and cultivate something more meaningful for yourself and those you love. And the best things take time. Who knows where you'll end up working or in what field, just as long as it feels right, right in your heart, that is what is most important IMHO (yes, money is important too, but life is more than material wealth, as we all know).
 
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