TPD, yeah it is funny as I would feel more comfortable patrolling war zone than sitting in a dentist's chair
MBSR would be good and it should start while being in the waiting room as that is where the actual stress starts to build up. If someone or something could stop the spiraling out of control while waiting for your appointment it would be much easier to treat when you are actually trying to get into that chair.
There isn't not much to do except to worry what is going to happen when you actually go to the dentist's room while you are waiting for your turn.
Nomas, sadly we don't have the laughing gas option here as I would have tried that instead.
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I was sitting in my desk writing a coverage about how right wing politicians are doing campaigning for communal elections while I suddenly was hit with a thought that what the f*** does my current daytime job actually contribute towards the society. Does anyone feel better for what I am doing? Atleast when I do security related jobs sometimes I feel I am actually doing something.
Any other freelancer can write about politics or the other stuff I usually do write about and how does my writing for example help the unemployed guy who cannot even get out of his apartment without being drunk or drugged out?
Also as I could have a secure income without actually doing nothing thanks to benefits and pension from military why shouldn't I reach out for doing something that could benefit others pragmatically? I could get back to school and start a new career without it being too troublesome for me.
So I have thought today a lot about wanting to get into a field of rehabilitation and also to be as pragmatical as I can while on it. Now I am in the middle of browsing the web for getting information on the requirements for people doing rehab work and will discuss about it on the monday when I have next appointment at the clinic.
When I have fully recovered I guess I could benefit of having first hand experience about addiction if working on that field. Sometimes it just feels stupid when the worker who should be able to help you doesn't know a shit about the drugs in question. I remember once going through a discussion with a drug counselor about withdrawals of psychedelics as I had crossed on the questionnaire having used some psychedelics in the past.
I guess the worst example I know about education on drugs and how to not do it was when a social worker gave a lecture in our high school and she was concerned of cannabis needles that are left laying everywhere and reminded about safe disposal of needles after injecting cannabis. The whole lecture was actually so hilarious that I remember it even today as it included for example a warning of intentionally cutting yourself as under the influence you might think your hand is an apple and you then try to peel the skin out your hand in order to eat that apple.
I don't know if this feeling I currently have will pass or maybe it could be just part of the progress but I really do feel that maybe I could help others suffering from addiction in the future and that I would get something beneficial out of it for myself too.
Every job I have had has contained atleast a part of a customer service or otherwise working with and/or for other people and for example as when in Afghanistan as a peace keeper I could actually feel that someone is going to benefit from what I am doing which kept me sane no matter the conditions in there.