zombiesarepeaceful
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2006
- Messages
- 2,481
I struggle with different phases of my anxiety. I can go without panic attacks for months. Then I can be plagued with the goddamn things again. And so on and so forth.
Oddly enough, I'm not bothered a bit by crowds. I love crowds. I love the energy I suppose.
My anxiety gets worse at night. Because night means I'm supposed to be sleeping, and sleeping is something I hate doing and procrastinate on doing as much as I can. It feels less scary to sleep during the day rather than at night, but with my work schedule I can't always do what I want obviously so I always struggle to force myself to sleep so I can function the next day.
Sometimes I have the freedom to stay up all night, which is a nice feeling. I still find night time to be scary even though I'm a night person. The reason is because I worry that if I have a panic attack at night and I get to where I'm scared that I'll die and need to call for help....none of my friends are going to be up for me to call or text at 3am, if I need to talk to someone to help calm me down. Sure my cats are there, but they can only do so much. They can't talk to me. Chat rooms help sometimes, if people can be serious for long enough to not talk nonsense and help me out. I can't afford to call 911 if I have a panic attack so bad that I'm scared of dying. I used to do that and now I have a ton of medical bills on my credit report and I'm determined to clean up my credit report so I can't have any new bills in collections....having a panic attack during the daytime isn't as scary.
TL;DR night time is scary because sleeping is scary, also if I have a panic attack at night I feel like I can't talk to anyone or get help because everyone is sleeping 8(8)
Oddly enough, I'm not bothered a bit by crowds. I love crowds. I love the energy I suppose.
My anxiety gets worse at night. Because night means I'm supposed to be sleeping, and sleeping is something I hate doing and procrastinate on doing as much as I can. It feels less scary to sleep during the day rather than at night, but with my work schedule I can't always do what I want obviously so I always struggle to force myself to sleep so I can function the next day.
Sometimes I have the freedom to stay up all night, which is a nice feeling. I still find night time to be scary even though I'm a night person. The reason is because I worry that if I have a panic attack at night and I get to where I'm scared that I'll die and need to call for help....none of my friends are going to be up for me to call or text at 3am, if I need to talk to someone to help calm me down. Sure my cats are there, but they can only do so much. They can't talk to me. Chat rooms help sometimes, if people can be serious for long enough to not talk nonsense and help me out. I can't afford to call 911 if I have a panic attack so bad that I'm scared of dying. I used to do that and now I have a ton of medical bills on my credit report and I'm determined to clean up my credit report so I can't have any new bills in collections....having a panic attack during the daytime isn't as scary.
TL;DR night time is scary because sleeping is scary, also if I have a panic attack at night I feel like I can't talk to anyone or get help because everyone is sleeping 8(8)
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