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H Withdrawal Soon/Chronic Pain & Health Problems/We Can Do It!

ABetterWay

ABetterWay

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 27, 2015
Messages
836
Mods, I know this belongs in OD, but every time I try to post it gives me an error message saying I need to choose a thread prefix. I have no idea what that means, orhow to do that, and have not been able to figure it out. Someone suggested posting in homeless so you could move the thread for me. Thank you in advance.
*********************

I will add more details later, as today will be the last day I am able to run around getting prepared to withdraw.

For now, I will give you it in a nutshell: I have chronic pain, and it is severe. Perhaps later I'll get into the specifics of my health. But briefly, I graduated to heroin (snorting ECP) after losing faith in the medical community. I truly don't use it to blunt emotions of cope with mental or emotional issues. Some will understand that, some will not be able to believe that. I already know this. Please know I won't really respond to anyone trying to convince me that I must be using for emotional reasons. I'm not mad at you, but it's not anything I'm going to spend time arguing about. I understand that it's very difficult for those who haven't experienced severe, life altering chronic pain to understand that. Again, I'm not mad at you for not understanding.... And truly, truly, I do hope you never have to understand. I wouldn't wish chronic debilitating pain on anyone.

Anyway, more details later once I'm feeling like crap lol. Just putting out the feelers, in case anyone wants to do this with me.

I have enough to last me most of today. By tonight I will run out. I started this thread to talk, pass time, help others going through the same, and to get support if I feel like I need it. Honestly feeling good mentally and emotionally, I'm in a good place in my head.

Other life changes coming in my life to, like job. I have ambitious plans :)

As my user name suggests, I'm looking for a better way.

Because there always is one.

If you are going through wd, or are about to, whether you have chronic pain or not (but especially if you do), come on in to my thread and let's get through it together, my friend. Let's get through it together.

Be well.

More to come.

Peace and love to you all. May you be happy. May you be peaceful. May you be liberated.

Xo

Edit: last dose at 9:20pm...here we go!!! :)

Edit 2: Well, it'ss 10:20pm here, off to bed I go, while I can still get some sleep lol. I've been taking vitamins for a few days (well, more than usual anyway), and started taking regular doses of ibuprofen the last couple or few days too in preparation. Took a very small amount of phenibut earlier today as it helps anxiety and can sometimes make me sleepy hours or a day down the line. No worries, I won't become addicted to it, I have had a tub sitting in my house for at least 9 months if not longer and have taken it I think a total of 5 ish times, including today. Tomorrow I will wake up chilly, but with nothing to take that away, and we will be started lol. Goodnight for now, my friends, and if anyone is struggling through withdrawal feel free to post here for encouragement and pats on the back, I have plenty of both for ya :)
With much love,
Peace.
 
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Is your plan to quit heroin permanently? You may get more support in Sober Living. You can beat this and I wish you the best! :)
(Homeless ----- > Other Drugs)
 
Due to chronic pain and the progressive nature of my condition, I will likely go on pain management through a doctor at some point in the future, though I would like to avoid that if at all possile. However, I have seen generations of my family crumble physically. It is not a good sight.

It is not the difference between a day being easier or less easy in my family's case; it is the difference between being able to be physically active at all, or bed bound,

I will get more into it all at a later time.

I wouldn't think sober living in that case?

Thank you for your kind wishes and your assistance, T.Calderone, I appreciate it and I hope you have a great night! :)
 
Okay, I see what you're saying, I was once in pain management. It's hard now without health insurance so I get by with motrin and sometimes muscle relaxers. I sort of lost faith in the medical community too, being stigmatized with drug and alcohol history following me around. Especially when I mention I was in PM when I lived in Florida. Doctors just pffft me away. I wanted to mention that clonidine can be very useful in opiate withdrawals if you can get a prescription that would help greatly. Getting ready for sleep myself. Hang in there! <3
 
Here we go, folks! Eyes pissing tears lol, loading up on Imodium as my stomach is already liquefying lol. I awoke freezing as expected. I'm a mere 10+ hours in now. Usually the first 3 days are the worst for me. Luckily I don't ever throw up. In fact I hardly ever throw up period. Making me think of Seinfeld now LOL.
"14 years down the drain." ;)

This is sucking. Ugh. Time to watch comedy.

You all can do it.

Peace.
 
Hi there A better way, how are you feeling now? I am trying to go CT with benzos, lyrics, codeine and fentanyl patches, the anxiety and cravings are just too much, I have fibromyalgia and it's a killer, no day pain free. I'm only on fentanyl 3 weeks, I took off my patch last night and omg, that horrible feeling started the moment I woke up, Im gonna take a few codeine and xanax just to get throuhj the worst of it, I fucking give in already, I'll be following your thread xxx
 
Hey :) Can I ask why you are trying to go off the meds?

I feel ya..... Pain is a nightmare. IMO it's far worse withdrawing when your health is like that. Much much harder. Good luck, post up a storm, distraction action!! Lol

Peace.
 
Tbh, I'm sick of drugs taking over my life, sick of the depression and anxiety they cause, sick of running out of my script early, just sick and tired of them ruling my life, I absolutely dread withdrawal, I could take 10mg xanax and no-one would have a clue that I'm on it my tolerance is so high. Are you on meds for pain?
 
I can understand that fit sure.

Ugh, for transparency I am likely to get a tiny amount later. Don't have money for more. Not really enough to reset, but maybe have an hour that doesn't suck.

I know, I know...

Pain. Pain sucks.

Peace.
 
Dealers are never merciful for no reason...

I gave a small amount of money, I mean like 6-7x less than I'd need for one day. He gave me 4x what I paid him...

Not having money and not wanting to owe, I texted him that bag looked awfully big. Was he sure it was right one? He said "hooked you up".

He knows of my chronic pain. Actually seems to like me even. I'm not like the others he serves. I'm much more patient. I'm not desperate because it's not a compulsion for me... It's pain. Simple.

But, let's be real here. He did what he did because lately I've been so broke I'm paying for last week instead of the following week. He knew I was in WD. For a long time, I'm a steady customer.... Without the drama, even! I'm his kind of customer, right?

He was kind because I make him lots of money, with no drama or begging or bartering, and he doesn't want to lose me.

Feeling dumb, because if I'm ever going to get to a doctor for pain management I need to pass a drug test. Just in case. Law is ridiculous now. And I fucking hate doctors with a passion. My fucking life has to be in the hands of some dipshit who knows not what my suffering is???? Who can get out of bed everyday, no fucking problem? Who can run, walk, bend, lift, no fucking problem? Who can FUCKING SLEEP, NO PROBLEM?????? I CANT SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE PAIN. IT WAKES ME OUT OF DEAD SLEEP. WHEN IT'S REALLY BAD, I start dreaming of pain.... It seeps into my dreams..... Like, "hey, a better way, please change positions, it hurts so much, please wake up and move..."

Now that my anger is showing....

I do believe I chose this fucking life though. Maybe for my suffering, my soul will be paid by getting stronger. It seems like nothing is the right choice when pain rules everything.

And let me say I'm a tough person.

Enough for now. Thanks for listening.

Peace.
 
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To be clear, because I don't want to alienate anyone who uses out of compulsion, who uses because they want to alter their mood...

I don't hate you. I can't judge you. We all have our cross to bear.

I'd be a liar if I said I've *never*, once used anything for a mood alteration... But to me it was fun and not something I needed regularly. I'm actually quite strong mentally and emotionally. However, in body, not so much!

Just as my body is the way it is, is in pain, beyond my control... I get that not everyone's head chemicals are like mine. Some people are always depressed. If I have any weakness along those lines it's anxiety and a bit of ocd. But I'm generally OK.

I won't judge anyone who posts here who uses compulsively. Look at my page. The quote I have there is, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Just so you know...

Compassion is important to me.

Be well.

Peace.
 
If only I could be sure a doctor wouldn't drug test me, and would prescribe pain management, this struggle would not be happening.

Of course, if I had chosen to see a doctor when I moved States, instead of losing faith because of bad experiences, and because I'm already terrified of doctors (been sick my whole life, doctor from childhood was one sadistic bastard, abusive, terrifying, really), and because as soon as I moved here the news was full of reports of laws governing around opiate scripts, instead of turning to the street like some Gimp Renegade lol, I could've maybe avoided this, too.

But it does anger me that MY QUALITY OF LIFE, MINE, not theirs, MIND... is in the hands of someone who at best, most compassionate, fears losing their license, and at worst, has zero understanding or compassion for my very real and constant suffering.

You know... I have a good mind. I'm smart. Clever. One of my strengths. I have so much to contribute to this sad world, to make it better. How do you do that when bed bound, unable to even stand for ten minutes?

I resisted pills for a long time. Then, it got so bad it was either take pills or be unable to work, clean, shower, etc.

I try so hard not to be angry. Ultimately I'm not really, not at a soul level. But, I am incredibly frustrated. Won't let myself be bitter, did that in my 20s, made myself even more miserable.

But, I've been able to overcome EVERYTHING ELSE shitty in my life. Because I'm smart, string, positive... Hopeful.

But this... This is one formidable fucking opponent. Such a nasty bastard, such a cold thing with no care.

It's so hard. I feel there is no good choice.

I don't actually want to be on opiates! That's the fucked up part! I like my mind as it is.

I don't want it dulled.

I must find a way.

I can't fail.

I need to be able to take care of my mother soon. She's like me just with more years on her poor body.

I will find a way.

Some how.

I hope.

Sigh. Eternal sign.

Peace.
 
I'm going ct on Tuesday from about 160-220 mg oxy a day. But you'll probably be doing better by then.
 
Bliss, what's your story? Do you suffer chronic pain? Is it more to alter your mood? What is your personal story? I am always interested in understanding others.

Peace.
 
Bliss26 said:
I'm going ct on Tuesday from about 160-220 mg oxy a day. But you'll probably be doing better by then.
Click to expand...

Idk you might want to taper first. Sounds like alot of unnecessary suffering to me. You didnt get to 220mg of oxy overnight, why try and cure it over night. Just my opinion, best of wishes to you I just know I would feel like I was on fire. Maybe some benzos to sleep through it will help, lope if u understand the risks, will help keep the liquids inside of u.

-JJ out
 
Thanks guys. Maybe I was misleading when I said CT, just meant I'd be out of narcotics.
I'm going to have lyrica, Ativan and Imodium at my disposal .


My story?? I have severe bowel disease, have had it since I was 20. Have had several surgeries , been on all the big gun drugs, nothing seems to help.

The secondary symptoms a few years ago prompted me to ask for pain relief. So I got oxyneo.,
Since then I've double my dose because the first one wasn't working. Now I don't feel this dose either and worry about tolerance.
Wondering if my pain would be OK a couple weeks after narcotics ? Gonna. Give it a try.

Day 1- still had 3 oxy left , was expecting none. So I took one (usually take 3-4) hoping this very quick taper plus lyrica will help.

Not much in the way of symptoms yet, just a runny nose, let's hope the single pill will help it.
I've no plans to take the other two the next two mornings, just as soon as symptoms present .
 
Abetterway,

I read your story . Why not go on methadone maintenance? You have to pee dirty on that. It will save you lots of money.

I considered it too but several things are stopping me.i don't have the "lifestyle " of a drug addict that mmt is trying to break. Also, I am scared if I'm a mmt patient I'll get treated differently when I see medical people, go to hospital etc. You're forever branded an addict and I'm afraid of that
 
Good luck, bliss, I'm rooting for you. Pain is horror.

I won't do methadone because of the same reason you won't. My medical records have no indication of illegal drugs and I intend to keep it that way as I know things will only get worse for me physically. I'll be damned if I can't get pain relief because of a big red mark.

Thank you, TC. I'll admit I've been taking some but nothing close to my regular doses and I'm in a ton of pain. I feel trapped. But I'll find a way. There's no choice really, as I'm afraid the longer I keep this up the more likely to get caught.

Doesn't even have to be me or dealer caught. Anyone he serves at any time could blow it.

I hope you are well, TC I read your post and that's shitty, subsiding on motrin for bad pain. I'm so sorry. Because I think to myself, their fear of addicts is so ridiculous... Who says it is worse to be an addict than it is to be in bad pain???? Jeez.

Taking away your free will. Not cool.

Peace.
 
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