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NEW/FINAL at home (attempt) detox diary, general support, and advice thread.

w0w0mg said:
I have been drenched in sweat all night, anxiey, stomach cramps, cold and hot, sneezing, restelssness.
I have just been taking xanax to try to help but to no avail. I cant find a detox to get into but I am trying to continue forward with detoxing.
I feel horrible and my head is killing me
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If it comes down to it you can go to an ER with a phych ward and tell them you are suicidal and have a plan to do it. Lots of people do it and the doctors know that so they wont be mad when you tell them it was just get detoxed. Another plan is to run to the walk in the box doctor and get some comfort meds.

Good on you for hanging in there though!
 
Hang in there bud. I have been reading all your stuff and I really feel for you man. Sorry for not replying the last few days but I've been busy dealing with my own demons. You can do this.
 
Get hydrated baby doll.

If you have a lemon, squeeze it into the water, added a dash of sugar and salt, and Walla! An electrolyte drink.

I know it's hard to want to move but try to eat and drink, especially drink, as the body can go longer without food than without water

Distract yourself with comedy. Laugh. Laugh at yourself even. That has helped me before.

You got this, love.

Take our hands. You are not alone.

There's so much love here for you.

Peace.
 
I am trying, it is hard, i just keep laying in bed, taking showers, and watching netflix. i just want to sleep so bad so i can sleep thru this whole horror.
 
If too weak to stand in the shower, I have turned on the hot water only, let the bathroom fill with steam, and sat in there, door closed, for warmth.

If you can grab potassium gluconate, that seems to help me with restless legs when kicking.

Imodium for liquid intestines.

Massage yourself as best you can.

I cannot stress the importance of laughter. Find something funny to watch or read.

You have a lot riding on this and you can do it darling.

Write in big letters on paper, put it on the wall where you will see it:

THIS WILL PASS.

It will. Sending you love, strength, peace..... Liberate yourself.

Peace.
 
In the thread of laughing even at yourself... Well this might be gross, but hopefully you get a laugh.

After all, we all know what happens to the stomach in withdrawal... No shame here! It is what it is, so I might as well laugh!

To laugh at myself, I told my husband that my ass told me, "You better sit down...I have bad news for you...," lol, then asked if he liked my "abstract toilet art". Lolol

If you can make light of your situation, even for just a moment, you will feel better.

I like watching comedians I like to feel better. I love Amy Schumer, Anthony Jeselnik, John Mulaney...Louis CK, Bill Burr.... All very funny folks. Look them up.

The cliché that laughter is the best medicine exists for a reason.

Get yourself some water to drink, sweetheart, get a good stretch in and groan it out!!!

Keep fighting, you will eventually win.

" So long as there is breath in me, that long will I persist. For now I know one of the greatest principals of success - if I persist long enough, I will win. "

Much love to you.

Peace.
 
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w0w0mg said:
I am trying, it is hard, i just keep laying in bed, taking showers, and watching netflix. i just want to sleep so bad so i can sleep thru this whole horror.
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Part of recovery is working through the emotions, you can do it!! <3
 
Withdrawals would be cake if we could sleep through them. Hell there is a procedure where they put you under and shoot you up with naltrexone in order to try and get as much withdrawal done as possible while your under. I have heard mixed reviews about it though
 
It's good in a way to go through withdrawal, every opiate addict should have an experience with CT-not that many want to hear this, I sure never do and will always opt out for buprenorphine or methadone if possible. But looking back on it, getting locked up for four days and having to kick like that makes one stronger, it used to be my greatest fear, now I know what to expect, and while I'd never want to do it again, I know that i could. Just recently I had to cold turkey again, although I then put myself on Kratom and then buprenorphine for maintenance but thats because I know I need the maintenance, there is no way right now in my life that I can go without some kind of crutch, and theres no shame in that.

But for years and years I avoided a cold turkey detox. It's funny because you'll be throwing tantrums screaming for heroin and acting like a lunatic, but then you look back and think, hey that wasn't so bad lol
 
the rls is killing me i barely slept, tossed and turned, i ate 2 immodiums to try to stop the runs, i also keep taking .5 mg of xanax prn but it doesnt help just keeps my benzo wd at bay. i am so shaky. i am still holding on, i am hoping this hell ends soon..i cant believe i keep doing this to myself and my girlfriend is tired of me being sick all the time..
 
i would get on suboxone but i have no insurance, and i lost my job so i cant even afford methadone at this point.
I need to feel normal again... i cant even find a detox kicking at home is the worse imo.
detox you know you cant get it, and the comfort meds help alot. even jail its not this hard to kick...
 
How far in are you, hon? How many hours? Remember, it WILL pass. It will pass. It will pass.

Potassium gluconate really seems to help with rls for me, it's not too much money, it someone can grab it for you. Try it. Nothing to lose.

Wishing you much strength. YOU CAN DO IT!

Peace.
 
I am past the 48-56ish hour mark. It's hard to keep track really right now because I'm in so much agony it feels like. I think ima go to the hospital to if they can help me with ANYTHING. Iv fluid, blood pressure meds, idk. Anything...
 
i have taken 4 showers within 2 hours... it's sad I ran out of hot water..
My legs are whats getting to me because I just cant seem to get comfortable no matter what I do. It's like a flutter thru out my body - anxious all the time. Discomfort. Pains. ugh.
 
ABetterWay said:
How far in are you, hon? How many hours? Remember, it WILL pass. It will pass. It will pass.

Potassium gluconate really seems to help with rls for me, it's not too much money, it someone can grab it for you. Try it. Nothing to lose.

Wishing you much strength. YOU CAN DO IT!

Peace.
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I really dont have any funds right now so I am stuck with cold turkey this, I am scared because even when this subsides I will be running out of xanax within a couple days and then benzo wd will set in... it's true hell.. everything is hell.
 
The way out is through.

You mentioned going to the hospital. Do what you feel you need to do.

You've come so very far.... Don't throw it away, or you will start at square one again.

Go to the hospital if need be.

You can do this and it WILL pass!

Peace.
 
I was hoping if I went to the hospital they would give me some comfort meds, no pain pills or anything, just something to combat withdrawals.
I really cant IVC myself because my probation officer keeps calling me checking up on me because I do have some violations and she wants to
make sure I'm not going to abscond.. I do not want to give in and get some opiate or anything I just want some relief. Even a little bit of kratom might help.
I don't know. I am so stuck in my head. I just need support I guess. I need people to tell me everything will be okay.
I have no friends. I lost them all due to this addiction. I have been in jails for so long I can't even be social because new people give me anxiety attacks.
I am a hermit now. It's horrible. Right now I am just trying to take it easy and calm my self down so I don't over think and get stuck in my head.
I know a lot of it is mental too not just physical. Addiction is hell and nobody understands why we keep relapsing. My girlfriend told me " I cant feel sorry for you anymore, because you keep doing this to yourself" and she is right but I just wish you understood that it's not like I can just get over it like she can when it comes to drugs. She can do a xanax, smoke a joint, do a painpill and never need to do it again. Me - I do something ONCE and Im off to the races. She thinks we think a like. but an addict thinks MUCH different. It changes our brain to where drugs become a NEED not just a want.
 
Sweetheart, everything will be OK. You are going to be OK.

Things didn't get this way overnight, did they?

No. It took time. It's going to take time to undo, time to rebuild.

But that's the good news.... It CAN be done. And you will do it, step by step.

This first step is the hardest. But once this part is behind you, you will feel so fucking proud of yourself, and that will motivate you to keep going.

You got this. It's going to be OK. Imagine a big hug from me, I'm whispering "shhh, shhh, it's OK, it's OK, you can get through this, this will pass....." Rocking you back and forth gently.

It really is gonna be OK. Once your on the other side, you will smile, knowing how FUCKING AMAZING AND STRONG you are!!!!!

Much love to you, darling.

Peace.
 
thank you so much - i really need the support and it really means a lot when there are people out there to tell me that.
 
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