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MDMA and MS?

Just wondering your doctor has run general labs at this point right? I mean besides checking blood glucose if I was your doc at this point you would've definitely gotten an insulin tolerance test and though most people fail it anyways I really feel like you should've been checked out for these sorts of basic health issues. Especially a comprehensive metabolic panel. But liver enzymes and kidney function and such would be nice to know too, though labs can be kinda expensive they aren't as bad as dealing with the health issues in an emergency room.
 
I've only been offered blood tests, which came back as vitamin D deficient and high cholesterol. And been taking Vit D meds and trying to eat a bit less shit accordingly.
Hopefully I'll get the full litany of tests after the neurologist sees me.

I've found doing even a little cardio can make my whole body have that 'vibrating' feeling. Not pain, or even pins and needles or numbness but a vibrating quavering feeling inside. Not always and it is largely localised in my bowel and behind and that area.
 
Cotcha, would you say decent hard exercise has led to an improvement in your neuropathic symptoms? Outside of a general 'feel better' way that exercise can grant. Can you tell me in what ways your neuropathy affected/affects you?
 
Fuck, I haven't had too much cognitive dysfunction with this shit but man my head is spinning like crazy tonight, like vertigo can't find my balance mental fog fucking whacked out shit. This is scary, man.
 
Absolutely, exercise is the only thing that has improved my neuropathy. I couldn't move my right hand for 2 months at one time and even grabbing a doorknob with the other was very painful, physical therapy is the only thing I believe in anymore. The main problem is bad posture pinches nerves, getting the muscles built up to hold you in good posture frees up the nerves so they can do their thing.

Cardio causes you to grow new arteries and nerves, it really causes you to grow all new cells. These arteries and nerves run to your organs and tell your organs how to function, the nerves that go to your GI tract also come out of your lumbar veterbrae, and neuropathy there with bad posture (technically known as radiculopathy for nerves coming out of the spine) can send your GI tract through a loop. There is a big connection between radiculopathy and "IBS".

I would definitely think about seeing a chiropractor, with all this hell you've been through its worth a try. If you don't see improvement after a couple full spine adjustments I wouldn't bother spending the money. They can also help you with exercises.

If you have your blood tests on hand Id be glad to take a gander, but vitamin d is indeed important, what was your level?

Also I would expect an increase in symptoms after you do conditioning, especially blood pressure problems with deconditioning. Low blood pressure/dizziness is a big giveaway that conditioning is what you need! It'll get better as you keep conditioning. Cardio is so important though.
 
I've noticed some of my worst random symptoms, like the flu like collapse on Tuesday and the weird room spinning vertigo disassociation freak out last night, are very much a response to me exercising even a small amount (running gently on Tuesday, and push ups last night). Is it my body's damaged nerves trying to respond to the stimulation and crapping out?

I don't have my blood test results sadly they keep a hold of them. Are there any gentle, simple cardio routines you recommend?
 
I would keep to walking/light jogging and swimming but thank you for trying... I promise it will help if you keep at it, just walking for 20 minutes is really good for someone with chronic deconditioning, if you're having various troubles in the day after exercising I would say this is really standard for chronic deconditioning and I went through this myself, as your blood perfusion struggles a bit after exercising you can get all sorts of weird symptoms. The head being on top of the body kinda makes bloodflow to the brain a tricky situation concerning gravity, that's why we need to strengthen your cardiovascular system to over come this, this will also build new arteries all over your body and to your organs, including your brain. But it will take time so don't give up <3

Please note that being "out of shape" is not even close to what chronic deconditioning really is, ultimately with chronic deconditioning as you condition your cardiovascular system I would expect a deficit in the system as its recovering and growing back stronger, this can present itself as increase neuropathy not because of nerve "damage" but because the nerves use up an incredible amount of blood flow and oxygen (about 25% of the bodies oxygen is used up by the nerves). Which is exactly why cardiovascular conditioning is just what you need. Usually nerve compression (typically under scar tissues or fascia or various sites of compression) results in the bloodflow of nerves being pinched, one of the best ways to over come this deficit of oxygen is cardio to increase the generation of new arteries and increase blood perfusion, and the increased blood flow helps repair the nerves as well.

Even if you have a genuine neurlogical disorder similar to MS I really think you will live longer and have a greater quality of life if you do the exercise. And it does appear that exercise alters MS progression, so if you do have MS you should definitely exercise because it slows down the disease.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurobiological_effects_of_physical_exercise - There is some motivation for you to start working out consistently ;) it'll take some time to get into a groove but the harder it is the more you need it.

I would definitely work out early in the day, adrenaline sticking around and keeping you up is no good. And try to take a multivitamin after you workout, your body will be yearning for nutrients to build new cells. Protein in your diet is very good, even chicken and some eggs would be fine, and veggies are lovely, gotta give your body what it needs to rebuild itself.

You trying out the amitriptyline by the way?
 
I did, it's such a small dose though I'm not sure of it's effectiveness. It doesn't knock me out as comfortably as the mirtazipine did.

I did buy some multivitamins but in the early days taking it, it seemed to make my muscle weakness and problems worse. Would it actually be helping like the exercise, and I should just grin and bear it?

I had a brainwave actually. When my eye problems kicked in years ago, my eyes were very painful for a few days, to the point of being disabling, and then I had like a bursting, pulsing feeling where I saw phosphorescent lights in my vision, then later visual snow and gradual visual degradation and colour difference and so forth. And when these symptoms kicked in it was a similar process, only all over my body - bloated painful tightness tension for a week, then a pulsing, electrical discharge feeling only from the back of my head to my spine. And then all this sensation and weakness and infirmity. That can't be a coincidence, it probably is MS. My emotional response to both incidence was even roughly the same too. Also like my current situation, my eyes seem better or worse arbitrarily usually based on how much I've had to use the nerve damaged area in question?

Okay anyway, real talk a second man

A) I'm not disproving you or being antagonistic here, as you've struggled with this shit a lot longer than me despite being quite a bit younger. But is exercise generating/re-generating axons and nerve endings pseudo-science/medicine or is there diagnostic evidence for its success? I mean, it's helped you, and it certainly seems to be the case in that wikipedia.

B) Several medical websites say that nerve damage and neuropathy is irreversible, but I've read a lot of neuropathy forums which state that peoples symptoms, sometimes with exercise, sometimes with medicines or diet, have recovered or got better. So who do we trust? Hell even people on here have had similar symptoms to me and made something of a full recovery, right?
 
I think there's actually a good chance you may be suffering from acephalgic migraine or "visual migraine" (does not typically cause a headace) commonly caused by a blood vessel having problems in the back of the head/neck, where the brain meets the neck essentially, please note I hypothesized cranio-cervical junction problems previously ;) I don't know for sure why you're having these type symptoms but what I will tell you is that increased blood flow and generation of new arteries from exercise will help you regardless of the cause, even if it is a demyelinating disease. Lack of bloodflow can DEFINITELY cause optic neuritis anyways, and optic neuritis has been known to be caused by medications that decrease blood pressure, and I even experienced this once in my right eye (With withdrawal of the medication that caused the lower than normal blood pressure the optical nerve's normal signal strength returned). I didn't help that I was really deconditioned and had low blood pressure anyways. This hints that to go in the opposite direction, increasing blood flow with exercise, could be a potential remedy.

Exercise certainly helps calm down the inflammation that is associated with demyelination as I posted a bit about a page or so back but I don't think you have necessarily a demyelination neuropathy nor a loss of axon/small fiber "damage" neuropathy, there is debate as to what extent I.e spinal cord injurys can heal but the peripheral nerves are actually quite good at healing themselves and can even reattach themselves if separated completely. Nerve crush is a common model in studies and these injuries can heal as well, albeit it can take some time and it takes a while for the arteries to regrow to support the growth of new nerve cells. A key point here is that there are arteries within the nerves themselves that supply the nerves with all their nutrient and oxygen needs.

However in your case I am concerned with "nerve compression", it could be out of the vertebrae known as spinal stenosis, or compression out of the ribcage and neck resulting and hand and facial/jaw neuropathy which indeed a type of neuropathy but not a type of nerve damage because the nerves have to be SIGNIFICANTLY deprived of oxygen for upwards of 7 hours in order to see axon loss.

My whole point is that neuropathy is very typically not nerve damage but a the nerves being deprived of oxygen because the arteries within the nerves are being compressed. It takes a lot to do damage real damage but the closest thing to damage that can happen is scar tissues will build up on the outside of the nerve sheath.

The myelin can also be scraped away, and we thought for a long time it might not grow, back it turns out myelin indeed does grow back.

The whole idea behind anabolism is that there are certain environments that support growth of new cells and oppose the breakdown of cells, exercise supports an anabolic environment and releases different nerve growth factors and neurotrophic factors that tell your central nervous system to grow new things and not to breakdown healthy cells, it's like growth hormone but for nerves.

Personally once upon a time I was diagnosed by nerve conduction studies with a peripheral neuropathy of an arm nerve that I was told was never going to heal, after much physical therapy and remedying the musculoskeletal problems that likely caused the neuropathy in the first place, 2 years later I had another nerve study that showed completely normal nerve function, and I no longer the symptoms of that kind of neuropathy. I should point out at this time that you should've long since had nerve conduction studies, but I should tell you that nerve compression does not show up on nerve conduction studies because it's not actual damage (loss of axons).

An electrical signal can still pass through an oxygen deprived nerve as long as the axons/myelin are still there but it's hard for your nerves to function normally when you send a conscious signal to move your hand because that requires oxygen to generate the nerve impulse, where as with the nerve conduction study the machine supplies the impulse and the nerve just conducts it.

Anyways a neurologist should be all over getting you a nerve conduction study, she will likely test your hands first. Unfortunately many of the nerves are too deep to be tested accurately but the hand ones are usually reliables. What's going to suck is if you do come back positive for carpal tunnel and such and you have a retarded doctor, all your symptoms are going to be blamed on whatever they find, when most people have some nerve damage somewhere at sometime. What they should be looking for is a global (across all nerves) decrease in conductivity, to check for a neurological disease.

But what I think you might be suffering from, thoracic outlet syndrome, cannot be diagnosed by nerve conduction studies, because it is just nerve compression, and even then the nerves are still too deep to test. It has to be diagnosed by a vascular Doppler ultrasound that will try to pinpoint where your bloodflow is slowing down (a sign of compression). There are also several office tests the neurologist should be aware of that are designed to provoke thoracic outlet syndrome symptoms. It'd be nice to rule out both the TOS and spinal stenosis, and a typical B12 vitamin deficiency that commonly causes neuropathy. But TOS is specifically for either your hands and or jaw, are your hands still burning and tingling? Does it get worse with your hands raised over your head as if you're trying to touch the ceiling for 10 seconds?

Anyways, cardio releases growth factors that cause not only the nerves to grow but cause the arteries to grow as well, a process known as angiogenesis. More arteries and increased bloodflow means less nerve oxygen deprivation and more nutrient flow to the nerves (the arteries have to carry the nerve growth factors so the nerve growth factors are useless unless there is adequate blood flow to carry them into the nerves in the first place, hence why being deconditioned cardiovascular wise leads to increased neuropathy symptoms).

Sorry for the wall of text, I hope this answers some of your questions and encourages you to keep trying some daily light walking for a while. It's okay to start easy, just walking for 10-20 minutes is great, remember you've been through/are going through a LTC, you didn't think you could start out running and not face some serious symptoms now didya ;)
 
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Hello guys,
3months+,1 time user 40-60mg + 3 cups whine :p

I have also that strange feelings at hands like numb(weak)5% or sense of lighter hands,sorry can't explain it :-D .....
I noticed last 3 days that it's back to normal at mornings
When I wake up I feel my hands back 100% but after 2 minutes it starts again
Its so annoying,you wake up and you tell "fk yeah its ok" and after it comes back.

My sleep recovered 95% I rarely wake up,no vivid dreams no sweats no nightmares,8h sleep

At first days I had trembling at all body when I was in anxiety situations and also my teeth was trembling when I was speaking with someone, also recovered 100%
Also tingling at hands healed 100%

My anxiety still exist 60 70%

In my opinion we unbalance our neurotransmitters like serotonin dopamine etc and brain trying to balance them
 
Hi everyone, swinging by. Hope all you guys are holding up.

Finally got my letter through the post telling me I can arrange a consultation now, so that's good.

I've had the possibility lately to improve my life in meaningful ways; live independently, pursue romantic opportunities, try and find work, travel to meet friends, but I can't commit to anything because my condition is so unpredictable and I don't know how south it's going and how fast.

A lot of my external neuropathy symptoms (specifically the weakness/tingling/burning/shooting pains in my arms and hands, and legs and feet) seemed to die down for quite a while or were barely even noticeable, but over the past couple of days it has seemed to shoot right up again. I'm also having quite a lot of trouble standing up for long periods of time. My feet have arbitrarily gone dead at times, my walking has felt a little more imprecise. I was waiting outside a gig the other night and I felt like I had to make a concentrated effort to stand up right. It's so scary. I hoped I'd be one of the lucky ones, that this level of degeneration would be years off. I really, really hope I'm not in a wheelchair by next year.

It's so random, it's 3-4 days of semi-okayness followed by 3-4 days of feeling terrible, arbitrarily. MS flare up's? I am exercising, I went for my first swim in forever last week, also had a massage and tried to do a steady half hour a day plus walking/jogging. Which is occasionally hard to do with shitty rainy cold British winters. At first I felt the benefit but now I feel so much worse. The Amitriptyline is at least letting me sleep and that's making the anxiety and depression to do with being like this quite a bit more bearable. I've actually started saying to people 'I'm fairly certain I have MS, now'. Saying it is oddly a relief, my dad says I shouldn't tempt fate. I think both my folks are a little in denial.

I try and alleviate the guilt through having essentially done this to myself by facing the likely reality that I had a pre-existing condition or pseudo-MS, and this simply exacerbated its development. I do in painful dark moments think how long could I have avoided this had I not been a stupid cunt and avoided the MDMA. Maybe I'd have been diagnosed at 40, or 50, or never, and my young life wouldn't have been further compromised. I'm not going to get on any anti drugs horse though, as I know many people can use it safely and responsibly and have no ill effects. All I know is MDMA did this to me. It's 11 weeks now, this isn't temporary side effects, this isn't drug induced anxiety, I have serious physcial problems and I'm probably fucked.

Hope that I'll have decent periods of remission, have one of those fluke endeavours where I see a massive decrease in symptoms or the possibility of wonder drugs or revolutionary treatments, keeps me going. Hope that I wont lose all mobility, that it won't be 'primary progressive'. But I do have to prepare for the inevitability. My life is fucked, MDMA and my own biology did it.

I feel often like a consciousness forcing a disconnected meat carcass around, like that sinewy meaty lived-in 'realness' of my body is gone. I don't know, I hope the neurologists and doctors will be able to offer some relief. I know they can't tell me how quickly it will go south, but they can at least help mitigate the symptoms somewhat. I am scared, I am really very scared. It's tiring trying to put a brave face on for my parents. It's depressing not knowing what I can and can't do. It's draining to have a solid 6-8 hours sleep and still be yawning all fucking day with fatigue. I just, I just feel trapped.
 
Hey everyone. I probably won't post any more before the Holidays as I want to try and stay focused on the positive, what little I can. Not be too big a drag for my family as with my dad's sickness it might be our last X-Mas as a family. So, happy holidays, if anyone is still reading this.

I finally have an appointment booked for the 5th. The ball is finally rolling. My symptoms have seemingly got worse, the neuropathy going from fairly tame to probably worse than it's ever been - my left palm has at time had a constant burning sensation, my legs feeling increasingly wobbly and tingling and aching on-and-off. I'm really scared of further flare-up's. I'm scared of how limited my movement may become very quickly. Any exercise seems to exacerbate it. It seems to get progressively more noticeable throughout the day too. My eyes have felt a little weaker too, my optic neuritis like symptoms becoming more prescient at times.

Yet I recently visited a friend by the ocean, and could walk the entire length of the beach and wasn't too affected. It's so odd, so inconsistent. Sometimes my walk is smooth and relatively efficient, at others awkward and with an unusual gait. Sometimes I can trace my hand from index finger tip to the bottom of my palm and feel the natural pleasant tickling sensation, and at other time's barely feel anything. Sitting on the train home from my friends for a few hours last night, most of my body felt on fire with tingles and zaps. Sitting in the cinema with him 6 hours earlier watching the new Star Wars, I only felt incidental, ignorable pain. Mind over matter?

I'm still blue about my greatly reduced sexual desire, greatly reduced sexual sensitivity and massively reduced ability to orgasm. I think the nerves are damaged enough now, the Byzantine mess of chemical influences which constitute human sexual response can't function at all. I can still on occasion get erections, can still reach a point of ejaculation, and have occasional flourishes of something near my old sexual desire for women, but it's scattered and limited. I feel totally emasculated, and know I'll probably never have a meaningful relationship again. That's a very hard bitter pill to swallow. I can still notice a pretty face, and feel something akin to the burgeoning feelings of attraction but it's nothing at all like it used to be. Such a huge part of my identity is completely gone, possibly, even probably forever. Steadily worse probably, and sadly, I fear, it may one day all completely go.

At least with the Amitriptyline's help I haven't ever again felt that sheer suicidal depression I felt at my lowest, nor suffered with the same degree of insomnia or lack of appetite. I think without it I genuinely would have killed myself. With a lot of dark humour and a vague hope that when I get my diagnosis one way or another I'll hopefully have some help either therapeutically, socially, financially or medically; I can get by day to day, but I'm still in varying degrees of pain everyday and have little hope for any decent future.

Fuck, guys. What a fucking year.

Have a good holiday period y'all. I'll get back to you when I have more information. I know for people with depression or health complaints or other symptoms reflective of 'LTC's' this time of year can be rough, so godspeed.
 
Hey, I know I said I'd take a break but I kind of need to vent.

My legs I feel are permanently slightly impaired, and I've noticed myself dropping things a little more often/being clumsier. But otherwise I'd been feeling better. Certainly in terms of my gut/bowel/bladder. After weeks of twitching/vibrating and spasming after any biggish meal for a couple of hours it felt much like its old self.

Then I went out and had only 2-3 drinks with a friend on the 22nd for Christmas. Drinking had never previously exacerbated symptoms, if anything, it made my nerve pain less - I assume as it depressed the CNS. When out with him I turned my head to talk to him and had that horrible Lhermitte's Sign crackle. And then all that night felt way worse. My bowel problems flared up, my sleep was poorer. I also developed a sharp stabbing, compressed, tight pain in the back of my mouth/roof of my throat that lasted for about 30 minutes. Since then my swallowing and speech has been a little impaired. More fucking nerve damage. The last MS symptom I hadn't had. Guess I might as well tick all the boxes.

I felt impossibly tired all day on Christmas day and had to leave the family Christmas table early as I couldn't keep my head up. Fatigued, foggy and totally limp. My sister accused me of being lazy, of not picking up after myself, because she optimistically, like the rest of my family staunchly refuses to believe I'm seriously ill. I could barely fucking function. I'm going to feel a temporary smug sense of validation when I do eventually get those positive MRI results back, "See! What I told everyone literally less than a fucking week after developing these symptoms! MS. It's just anxiety! It's just post-drug recovery! You can't get MS from a single dose of E!". Now look at me. Talk about a Pyhrric Victory, eh?

I spent the vast majority of Boxing day (the 26th) in bed. I did feel a little better cognitively last night at least. Tried a little more alcohol and it didn't affect me too badly. Was able to enjoy some party games with my family. Last night I barely slept properly, was woke up by stabbing pains in my stomach and numbness and tingling in my arms.

It seems to fall into a semi-predictable pattern now - A number of days of hand/arm/foot/leg tingling, then a number of days of gut/jaw/back pain, with the knock on damage and effects of the previous damage lingering, then a temporary period of feeling 'better', lasting 3-4 days before it begins again. These periods of 'remission' are too slight to not have me worried I have primary progressive. I pray I'm not in a wheelchair by this time next year, but it's been three months and my legs are already going.

Yet I can still stand up on one leg (with a bit of wobbling), still get up stairs without needing to assist myself too badly, my leg's only dropped out once, and I can stand up-right with my eyes closed without falling over (yet). Wobbly but not falling over bad. But standing up for longer than 10 minutes or so makes me feel unsteady?

Regardless, that not one single person seems to recognise, appreciate or is just willing to accept how fucking serious this is, really, really frustrates me. There's trying to look on the bright side and there's being delusionally, fingers in ears reality avoiding. I don't want to break my mum's heart any more than my dad's terminal cancer diagnosis did. My dad at least understands neuropathy and his body is getting increasingly fried with the Chemo. He still thinks this is post drug nonsense that will go. It's every symptom of MS and it's getting worse and nothing is reliably helping to stem the tide. How disabled do I have to become for people to take this seriously. URGH!
 
It's my birthday today. 28 and already looking at a neuro-degenerative auto-immune life sentence. I'm going out with friends. I'm worried about the alcohol but I guess I should enjoy these social events whilst I can. I feel weak and tired and can't get the darkest thoughts out of my head but fuck it. People are depending on me.

Why did I do that MDMA? How longer would I have been able to just enjoy the mildest symptoms, if that rather than this rapidly degenerating hell? I know Cotcha you said myelin can regenerate but I've found no evidence anywhere to support this? Not one jot. Only that exercise and diet can help keep those compromised nerves healthy, but never repaired?

Hey I'm not a Greenlighter anymore, that's something at least.
 
Hey everyone.

First things first, CAPTN, my friend purchased the MDMA off the deep web, (in powder form, like several milligrams worth) and had tried the same batch with previous friends and been A-OK. He later tested it within the limitations of what a relatively cheaply brought testing kits can do and it came back as being solely if not primarily MDMA in content. That's as much as I can tell you. I also experienced as far as I know, only the usual positive symptoms of MDMA use. No overdose, no serotonin syndrome. And by 'had', do you mean you eventually recovered from your symptoms and if so, how long did it take?

So, anyway hey peeps. Happy New Year, 'happy' being relative for us LTC'ers.

Following my collapse at Christmas, I started to try and more properly follow your earlier advice, brought shit tones of Cod Liver Oil and Multivitamins and pure Vitamin D extract and Magnesium and Tumeric a bit of everything else and taking it all daily. I've also been trying to eat less crap and eat more oily fish. As it's been consistently pissing it down with rain during a typical godforsaken British winter I couldn't really exercise but did try limited self-imposed physio - jumping jacks, stretches, gentle weight training. Balancing on one foot. Anything to get my brain to recognise my legs a little better again as they were waking up slightly dead most mornings.

I've still had a lot of trouble simply standing up straight. Walking I can do with a level of clumsiness but actually just standing up is difficult. It hasn't really helped that for days my upper left thigh has felt partially paralysed, or heavy or indeterminately 'tight', like I've pulled a muscle. It's odd how a complicated action like walking comes relatively easily to me but simply standing for more than five minutes is hard. I said to my friend, dynamic actions seem to be easier than simple, almost automatic and instinctual ones.

Although all my legs problems seem worse the few times I have had a solid 30 minutes walk. So overt exercise does exacerbate it all.

Also the nerve zaps worked their way into and around my ears and ever since then I've had a thankfully largely ignorable low level tinnitus. I've had this before for a week or two at a time, long before this happened. There is a pattern now, electrical zaps lead to presumably compromised nerves and then there's weakness in that area that persists for varying degrees of time. My ears being slightly shot probably isn't helping my balance either.

Guts are shot to shit. Even after taking Senokot I often can't go. Or it feels like I'm passing an elephant down there but I'll do hardly anything. Erectile dysfunction thankfully isn't permanent, for every set of weeks where I'm totally or partially impotent, I'll have one or two glorious days where I can go 1-3 times a day and though it's nowhere near as satisfying as it was, at least still is. But my sex drive now is not what it used to be. It's like my whole outlook has changed. I don't see girls through a prism of sexual possibility anymore, or rarely. I was saying to my friends last night, I feel largely asexual most days. I may invest in some viagra just so I can see if it helps. Just so the idea of a romantic future isn't completely outside the realms of possibility. I have no shame anymore, just a desire to know if a girl ever does take a shot on a now probably-disabled loser like me ever again at least I can try and satisfy her.

As this is a forum for people in the know so to speak, are there any relatively safe herbal remedies for flagging libido or to boost sex drive naturally?

So anyway, the big news. Finally got to see a specialist. Told him my symptoms, also wrote a list. Also told him that this big exacerbation was caused by MDMA because fuck it, in for a penny. The doctor was very nice and understanding which was a pleasant change. Without me even indicating it he said 'There's a chance it could be MS or a demyelinating disease'. He also said that my already chemically compromised brain (from the years of anxiety and ill mood) could have been temporarily (for an indeterminate amount of time) been damaged by taking the MDMA and is just recovering with these horrible side effects. He said it's not anxiety and you're not crazy and it's definitely a problem of the brain, we've just got to figure out what, so he's sent me for a brain MRI. The problem being, living in the UK, that it's free, but will take a while. So I won't know the results till the end of February. He said from that we should be able to tell pretty definitively whether it's MS (as evidence by lesions) or something else. He also prescribed me Propranolol for the nerve problems.

So, fucking scary stuff but at least we can try and get some help with this shit.

It's kind of hell at the minute. I feel increasingly more disabled all the time. I don't know if this is going to seriously disable me or not. There's people who've been left in a wheelchair by their MS, seriously disabled for months, and then went into remission and could walk again. There's also people who it's outright killed. So, I kind of have to live day-to-day and try and not go insane. Which isn't easy as my dad's body is falling apart too with the chemo - his hearing's shot, his dick doesn't work well, he's struggling to pack in the cigarettes, drinks too much and his mood is increasingly unstable. We can mutually bond over how much God hates us and have a laugh but that's it. He and my mum fight all the time, they very nearly split up and my sister cries a lot and threatened to move out. Both the male family members of her life are falling apart physically. There's that awkward repressed horrible tension under-pinning all of life, which just makes me feel worse, but I can't go anywhere or do anything and feel trapped. And I know my family blame me for doing this to myself, but don't want to make me feel any worse.

So if this does work out for the worse then, well you all know someone who got MS from doing MDMA. Or at the very least went from a 'so minor it wasn't able to be recognised as a condition' version of the disease to full blown, fuck you over walking with a cane nightmare from one 150mg dose in less than a week. I wonder if that makes me a point of medical interest? It'd nice to be special in a positive way for once.
 
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One thing I will say, without meaning to worry anyone, is if you've ever had anything like optic neuritis or migraine headaches or damage or weakness to the brain, even chronic anxiety, in the past, and have then ingested an illicit substance and have had the side effects like I have - sensory changes - electrical zaps, tingling, burning or numbness, difficulty walking, stomach and bowel/bladder problems, tinnitus, fainting, sexual dysfunction, poor appetite, muscle weakness or tremors, unsteady gait and so on - as evidenced by contributors on this site, it can be transient after effects lasting ill-defined periods of time from months to years - or it could potentially be something more serious like me.

Unless it would stand to get you in some kind of trouble with the authorities, I would urge you to try and get medical help.
 
Let us know how the propranolol goes over, it's a very interesting med... Let's hope your MRI is clear <3
 
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