☮ Social ☮ [PD Social General Talk Thread] Observation Tank for Fractallized Redundancy Modules

[swilow]

I feel really depressed today. Trying to cheer myself up but I feel close to tears. I don't know why... Tired of feeling always slightly off. Just want a normal life. So many poor choices. I wish I could go back in time, I have so many regrets- I know regrets are pointless but I can't shake the feeling that I've made a few crucial errors and I'm scared that I won't be able to recover from them.

I'm so desperate for a better life without drugs but I can't see how I'll do it.

Very troubled.

 

[jammin83]

I feel really depressed today. Trying to cheer myself up but I feel close to tears. I don't know why... Tired of feeling always slightly off. Just want a normal life. So many poor choices. I wish I could go back in time, I have so many regrets- I know regrets are pointless but I can't shake the feeling that I've made a few crucial errors and I'm scared that I won't be able to recover from them.

I'm so desperate for a better life without drugs but I can't see how I'll do it.

Very troubled.

I know those feels very well willow. keep your head up. let me know if you need anything or feel free to PM me.

 

[swilow]

Thanks man. Life is hard eh...

 

[jammin83]

no question. remember it will pass. sometimes we just need to get a good sleep and things get better the next day. feelings fade and come and go and are rarely permanent.

i always remember that when i feel like blowing my brains out and it gets me through. my life is improving slowly but depression is a real bitch. haven't ever been able to kick it entirely myself.

 

[pharmakos]

Ecclesiastes 1 New International Version (NIV)

Everything Is Meaningless
1 The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:

2 “Meaningless! Meaningless!”

says the Teacher.​

“Utterly meaningless!

Everything is meaningless.”​

3 What do people gain from all their labors

at which they toil under the sun?​

4 Generations come and generations go,

but the earth remains forever.​

5 The sun rises and the sun sets,

and hurries back to where it rises.​

6 The wind blows to the south

and turns to the north;​

round and round it goes,

ever returning on its course.​

7 All streams flow into the sea,

yet the sea is never full.​

To the place the streams come from,

there they return again.​

8 All things are wearisome,

more than one can say.​

The eye never has enough of seeing,

nor the ear its fill of hearing.​

9 What has been will be again,

what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.​

10 Is there anything of which one can say,

“Look! This is something new”?​

It was here already, long ago;

it was here before our time.​

11 No one remembers the former generations,

and even those yet to come​

will not be remembered

by those who follow them.​

Wisdom Is Meaningless
12 I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. 13 I applied my mind to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under the heavens. What a heavy burden God has laid on mankind! 14 I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

15 What is crooked cannot be straightened;

what is lacking cannot be counted.​

16 I said to myself, “Look, I have increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge.” 17 Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.

18 For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;

the more knowledge, the more grief.​

it gets happy if you read the whole thing. this too shall pass.

 

[vortech]

Please don't tell me now that this too shall pass, because I feel too perfect and new at the moment, I wish it not to pass.
I feel like I have entered a new phase of life today, a new paradigm of consciousness; the inaugural session of 3-MEO-PCE ended up hitting me right where I hoped it would, filling my heart so completely that all I want to do is sing about it.

 

[Yeetbeat]

Took the drone out for a quick flight at a nearby river yesterday, uploaded a short clip of a 360 deg panorama view of the area

(dunno if it's just me, but watching the 1080p quality in Chrome browser eats shit and stutters hard...Firefox and mobile youtube are fine though lol)

 

[Cream Gravy?]

^Works fine for me on chrome! Great quality though man, that drone doesn't flinch!

 

[theacidtest]

I am so unbelievably relieved. I need a new car in the next 2 weeks (before I start my new job) so I've been looking at shitty used cars, something to at least get me there, then after a few months hopefully trade it in for something better.

Well today my father came to see me and offered to co-sign for a brand new car since I'll be able to make the payments easily. It's great, because I'm about to be making very decent money, but I currently have no credit, making a new car out of the question on my own.

 

[Yeetbeat]

^Works fine for me on chrome! Great quality though man, that drone doesn't flinch!

Very likely one of my addons or something then haha, but yeah it's so steady! I've got to find myself a decent video editing/encoding program to compress the files though, the raw 1920x1080 @60fps .mov files it spits out are huge I've got a 2:30 video cruising up and down the river a little and it's like 1.1GB

 

[Just A Guy]

Very likely one of my addons or something then haha, but yeah it's so steady! I've got to find myself a decent video editing/encoding program to compress the files though, the raw 1920x1080 @60fps .mov files it spits out are huge I've got a 2:30 video cruising up and down the river a little and it's like 1.1GB

Try this.

 

[Yeetbeat]

Try this.

You legend :D

 

[TheAppleCore]

I feel really depressed today. Trying to cheer myself up but I feel close to tears. I don't know why... Tired of feeling always slightly off. Just want a normal life. So many poor choices. I wish I could go back in time, I have so many regrets- I know regrets are pointless but I can't shake the feeling that I've made a few crucial errors and I'm scared that I won't be able to recover from them.

I'm so desperate for a better life without drugs but I can't see how I'll do it.

Very troubled.

Sorry to hear that willow. Yesterday was quite a low day for me too, coincidentally.

I can strongly empathize with your words. As you aptly pointed out, regrets are pointless. At times like these, I try to remember that it's necessary to make mistakes in order to learn and grow. Learning the hard way is often the best way. Easier said than done, but cherish your mistakes, rather than regret them, for the wisdom they give you!

~

Fear and defensiveness = weakness. Curiosity and playfulness = strength.

~

The true meaning of life is in death.

~

Everything has its place, like a gear in the machinery of the cosmic life-force.

 

[vortech]

I now have all the required material I shall need to start writing my second, and likely final, work of literature.: The 100% God Theorem. I've been at the 99.9999.....% certainty of the existence of God, or at least God of the known Universe, for awhile now, but it took until today's events to give me the last tip of the hat proof that I have in fact been communicating with God his whole time and always just slightly ever-so doubted myself. Now whole thing has come come full circle, pun-intended.

 

[TheAppleCore]

I now have all the required material I shall need to start writing my second, and likely final, work of literature.: The 100% God Theorem. I've been at the 99.9999.....% certainty of the existence of God, or at least God of the known Universe, for awhile now, but it took until today's events to give me the last tip of the hat proof that I have in fact been communicating with God his whole time and always just slightly ever-so doubted myself. Now whole thing has come come full circle, pun-intended.

I've believed in god for quite some time now, and I think it has helped me immensely in my life. However, the existence of god seems like a very, very difficult thing to prove. First you must have a precise working definition of the term "god".

I'm not saying it's impossible; but I'll be impressed if you can convince me that you have proof of god.

 

[Just A Guy]

I now have all the required material I shall need to start writing my second, and likely final, work of literature.: The 100% God Theorem. I've been at the 99.9999.....% certainty of the existence of God, or at least God of the known Universe, for awhile now, but it took until today's events to give me the last tip of the hat proof that I have in fact been communicating with God his whole time and always just slightly ever-so doubted myself. Now whole thing has come come full circle, pun-intended.

Brother, I know. Love!

 

[swilow]

I find it odd, psychedelics have affirmed my atheism to be honest. I don't really understand how these drugs often get people believing in such things.

Depends what you mean by god. I think the whole universe I'd alive and divine.

 

[coelophysis]

^ I pretty much agree. But you were probably always a nonbeliever for the most part. So the difference is probably in the personality type. If you've always kinda believed, I could see how tripping could make you think that now you know for sure. Just like it did for your atheism.
I do feel like psychedelics changed me from atheist to agnostic because, fuck, I'll just never really know anything for sure.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

I really feel like the one thing psychedelics have truly expressed in me is an uncertainty. Shit, when I take tests these days, I quadruple check my answers. I read over my posts on here multiple times. I was always a bit OCD but Christ, once I started tripping I really became uncertain of just about everything. It takes me hours of reading to decide what space set to run on my STO characters. It really kinda sucks, but at the same time, it's a strange humbleness that I feel makes me a kinder person.

Psychedelics also taught me that there is no black and white, only grey. All beings exist in between these two polar opposites. Sure some fall more towards black or white, but all... ALL fall somewhere within the grey.

 

[swilow]

^ I pretty much agree. But you were probably always a nonbeliever for the most part. So the difference is probably in the personality type. If you've always kinda believed, I could see how tripping could make you think that now you know for sure. Just like it did for your atheism.
I do feel like psychedelics changed me from atheist to agnostic because, fuck, I'll just never really know anything for sure.

Well, I was a believer of sorts. I was raised a Catholic though I never felt anything for that god. I had the (unexamined) impression that there was some kind of deity who cared about my life. I don't know why because I never had an ounce of reason to think this.

Tripping helped me realise that theism, ie. the belief in a creator-god invested in our lives, seems very wishful. I recall being on acid during a point when I was very interested in occultism and I was reading something by Israel Regardie about the structure of the pantheon and I just burst out laughing. I enjoy fantasy books and these idea's are no different. Well, they claim to be real whereas most books claim otherwise.

I mean, each to their own- I could be wrong, I could be right, it makes no difference to the apparent powerlessness of god; such a lack of power that you could say it doesn't matter if it exists or not- same difference.

I do believe there is intelligence and an organising principle of sorts in our universe and its manifests by the interplay of matter and energy, but it is impersonal and machine-like (in my own 'visions' of it). You cannot pray to this structure- you are part of it. It exists within you.