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March forward, and fear not the thorns... March 2015 Gettin' & Stayin' Sober Thread

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totach said:
Thanx myloveishim i ment to say i finally had a real dream
I was really surprised when i woke up cuz when i was getting cat naps in the last 4 weeks i would wake up right after a short dream
As for your relationship if you feel like you are putting your recovery at risk you should forsure end it
I know its easier said then done eapecially after ten years but you know what is best for you and you probably wouldnt have mentioned it if it wasnt bothering you much
It sux to be alone so my opinion is if you think there is some way to still repair your relationship then you should but if you dont theb walk away
I have bin in a few long term relationships and i cant belive they didnt leave me sooner cuz i was getting high the whole time.and they didnt get high and to be honest i was very sad they left me but was proud of them at the same time cuz in reality if i really loved them.as much as i said and thought i did i woulda stoped.getting high point blank
So i dont know what your current situation is but if your significant other really loved you then they would stop doing whatever is causing you to say you.cant be with them
@ captian- Its so nice to see you finally say you had a great day!
You are living proof that it really does get better with time
Also congrats on the relationship man im sure it is a wonderful feeling to love and be loved
This is my first time single in a very long time since i was 17
I hate being single i miss evreything about being in a relationship
I havent bin in a relationship sober tho for 12 years so i wonder how im gonna feel when i find my queen ;)
Im not rushing into anything tho i want to get alil more stable financially and also some more confidence in my recovery
Id say when god willing i have like 3 months ill start searching
Im really glad to see things going so well for you captian i hope it stays that way.
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Sometimes addiction is a stronger force than love. You can't get sober for someone else. I'm just saying this because I don't want you to feel that guilt. This isn't your fault!


myloveishim said:
And I'm not willing to risk my recovery!!
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Truly the most important thing. I support your decision. Very rational of you!

I'm having a bad day. Bad week.... bad month. I've been sober for 18 months now. Having some bad cravings lately. Not sure what is wrong with me lately. Cravings haven't been this bad since like, 4-5 months in.
 
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When I went to rehab back on November it was for everyone but me. I did it for the hubby and my kids. However somewhere along the way, the switch flipped and I realized how bad I wanted it. That's how I've gotten to today. I realized that I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice my recovery to live the same way we have lived the last 10 yrs (me not using being the only difference.) And I now know, if I can get thru that falling apart clean, then I can get thru ANYTHING clean. Just for today always!

Are you in a program? You'll go thru days/moments like that I hear. Just always remember you can get thru anything. Call people in your network, share in a meeting. Do stepwork. Anything to take your mind off of the cravings. Hit me up anything if you need someone to talk to.

I can't but WE can!!
 
24 down good people<3

goodnight-2-1.gif
 
i been clean for 1yr 2weeks.. feels good to be able to go out for a couple beers with friends and truly trust myself and not have to worry I'm not gonna want to go score some heroin or do other opiates!!! At one time wasn't sure it was possible.
 
You are right blue its more that i want to be able to provide over her wanting me to.
Today is 30 days benzo and opiate free
I am very proud of myself
I feel like since i did this on my own without rehab i have more motivation to stay clean
The thoughts and cravings are still there but i am starting to feel alil better m sure the few hours of sleep i get a night helps alot
Goodday evreyone!
Thanx for the kind words generic and congrats on 18 months thats amazing!
 
.5 mg sub early this am. I feel ok. Is this really happening? Am i really emerging from this black hole of addiction? I mean i know it takes a while for sub wd to kick in, but before id always feel like crap if i didnt take 2 or 3 mg. now im ok (so far) on .5, so that has to be progress.

Im hungry all the time though, i feel like i could eat a horse :/
 
totach said:
You are right blue its more that i want to be able to provide over her wanting me to.
Today is 30 days benzo and opiate free
I am very proud of myself
I feel like since i did this on my own without rehab i have more motivation to stay clean
The thoughts and cravings are still there but i am starting to feel alil better m sure the few hours of sleep i get a night helps alot
Goodday evreyone!
Thanx for the kind words generic and congrats on 18 months thats amazing!
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dude congrats on your whole month!! that's great news, really inspiring :)

I'm doing all right. Just a little unhappy. I'm working on it.

BlueSaffron said:
.5 mg sub early this am. I feel ok. Is this really happening? Am i really emerging from this black hole of addiction? I mean i know it takes a while for sub wd to kick in, but before id always feel like crap if i didnt take 2 or 3 mg. now im ok (so far) on .5, so that has to be progress.

Im hungry all the time though, i feel like i could eat a horse :/
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I'm so glad to hear you're feeling all right on 0.5mg blue! <3

keep up the great work. you're almost there
 
Thanx captian that means alot to me
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day ;)
Blue thats great that you are feeling good on the low dose maybe you can stay at that dose for a few days or so and go down .1mg at a time till you reach zero
All the best goodnight evreyone
 
thanks captain and totach :) I dont know how much more im going to be able to cut though - I have 8mg tabs (well, one left), and cutting a quarter (2mg) into 1 and then that into .5 is hard enough - I end up with a few crumbs. I"m not sure I can cut them any smaller? Maybe Ill start skipping days instead...
 
BlueSaffron said:
thanks captain and totach :) I dont know how much more im going to be able to cut though - I have 8mg tabs (well, one left), and cutting a quarter (2mg) into 1 and then that into .5 is hard enough - I end up with a few crumbs. I"m not sure I can cut them any smaller? Maybe Ill start skipping days instead...
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what i started to do was to crush up the pills and eyeball bits of the powder

it is already uniform within the tablet, so it does work but...

i think at 0.5mg, you should just start taking it every other day if possible

and then quit

if you can <3

stay strong guys. i had a hard week but am finally able to relax :)
 
I was enraged earlier today

I screamed a lot and cursed god a bunch

still off buprenoprhine, going strong on 4 and a half months. but today was hard and I wish I could stop feeling so awful right now.
 
I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day captain
I also have good days and bad days but any bad day is better then a day of getting high at least for me
I went to the gun range today and got to shoot the coolest guns I shot a tevor coolest gun ever
That's something i would never due if I was still getting high
My friend that I went to the range with has 6 years clean so I always enjoy chilling with him plus I work 6 days a week so today is the only day I have to chill
So I try to make the best of my Saturdays
It's crazy how everyone treats you differently when you are clean not that they treated me badly before but I feel like I get more respect when I'm clean
I am starting to feel a lot better about myself
I have a small problem tho and that is I can't stop eating legit I'm hungry all day
I've always bin in shape my whole life and now I'm gaining weight quick I gained like 15 pounds since I stopped getting high
The scary.thing is I.don't see a end to the weight gain cuz I eat all day
You guys think.That's normal for now and it will go away with some more clean time?
Enjoy the rest of the weekend guys
 
Yes it's normal. Everyone usually gains a little in early recovery. We have a running joke, We've put down the spoon and picked up the fork! Keep up the great work! ✌️
 
dammit I didn't even feel that bad today but in the last couple hrs started to feel hot and sweaty (my first 'sick' symptom usually) and anxious so I took another .5. Now I wish I'd toughed it out.

Debating switching to a shorter acting opiate for the end of my detox, but I dont like buying pills off the street. I have some codeine here... quite a few (maybe 20?) because I dont like codeine so I never took them.

What do you guys think of me doing another few days at .5 and then switching to codeine? I'd take out the tylenol of course (i forget the name for that process). I don't want to take kratom. Or maybe just codeine for a few days and then some immodium? I'm so close, I can actually see the finish line now, I can feel how low my habit is, and I want to keep making progress. Any thoughts at all on where I should go from here?
 
BlueSaffron said:
dammit I didn't even feel that bad today but in the last couple hrs started to feel hot and sweaty (my first 'sick' symptom usually) and anxious so I took another .5. Now I wish I'd toughed it out.

Debating switching to a shorter acting opiate for the end of my detox, but I dont like buying pills off the street. I have some codeine here... quite a few (maybe 20?) because I dont like codeine so I never took them.

What do you guys think of me doing another few days at .5 and then switching to codeine? I'd take out the tylenol of course (i forget the name for that process). I don't want to take kratom. Or maybe just codeine for a few days and then some immodium? I'm so close, I can actually see the finish line now, I can feel how low my habit is, and I want to keep making progress. Any thoughts at all on where I should go from here?
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Blue; I think you're at the point where you just need to stop taking suboxone, go through the week of feeling shitty, and then feel better

Q: Is there ANYTHING I can do to convince you to do this? I did 6 years on suboxone. I'm still in PAWS. I think if I can help you avoid the years of suboxone dependency and then eventual withdrawal that I went through, I would get a lot of positive karma :)
 
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