HarrytheHead
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How interesting that in almost all of these "worsts", the other person broke it off.
Guess that hurts the most?
Guess that hurts the most?
What was your worst breakup?
- Thread starter HarrytheHead
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TweakFace
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I became friends with a small stoner group shortly after and I swear weed helped so much getting through that bullshit.
Of course the relapse brought me back into the drug world but things are better than they've been in years as of lately.
I've only had one relationship in my life, but the breakup was pretty bad so I might as well recount it:
I was 18, stole her away from her ex. They were having problems, and she thought I was really smart, attractive, great guy, etc.
We were together for 11 and a half months.
I ended up falling hard for her, as she was my first girlfriend and all. 6 months down the road her true colours began coming out, and I was left wondering what had happened to that sweet girl that I loved.
A few months later, things weren't getting any better, she had her issues and I had mine, and the drugs weren't helping much. In the beginning she didn't care much about my using, but as time went on I had to start sneaking it. We smoked weed together, but she wouldn't touch anything harder.
I broke up with her a few times, over the course of the relationship, but we couldn't let each other go.
I feel terrible about our final breakup; I texted her and said it was over. I'd made sure to do it in person the previous times but under current circumstances that were beyond my control, that was all I was able to do. I ended up turning off my phone and going to rehab the next day.
I got sober the same time I had my first breakup. And we don't talk anymore.
I was 18, stole her away from her ex. They were having problems, and she thought I was really smart, attractive, great guy, etc.
We were together for 11 and a half months.
I ended up falling hard for her, as she was my first girlfriend and all. 6 months down the road her true colours began coming out, and I was left wondering what had happened to that sweet girl that I loved.
A few months later, things weren't getting any better, she had her issues and I had mine, and the drugs weren't helping much. In the beginning she didn't care much about my using, but as time went on I had to start sneaking it. We smoked weed together, but she wouldn't touch anything harder.
I broke up with her a few times, over the course of the relationship, but we couldn't let each other go.
I feel terrible about our final breakup; I texted her and said it was over. I'd made sure to do it in person the previous times but under current circumstances that were beyond my control, that was all I was able to do. I ended up turning off my phone and going to rehab the next day.
I got sober the same time I had my first breakup. And we don't talk anymore.
Lysis
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I am so opposite and notice that every time I read SLR. As I get older, I care more. When I was 16-18 I just didn't care. I would fuck and then I just didn't care what happened. I've been more emo at such a huge annoying level since the ex died. I'm trying to get that "DGAF" level back, because men have been such a huge disappointment for me for whatever their issues are...and yes, it's usually their issues not mine. I used to just go, have fun and didn't care when I was that age. I remember my BF at that time (first "love"), and I didn't care when we broke up. I don't even remember who broke up with whom, because I just didn't care.
Ugh...life. It sucks balls.
pofacedhoe
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hmm i was more childish and manslutty when younger. these other day i felt like my current situation was not going to work out and i felt shattered and crushed until i had a chat and ironed out the problem/temporary alleviated my (justifiable given the circumstances) insecurities.
god it was as bad as at a young age. the heart is always fragile in a sense...
Lysis
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Same here. If I put effort into something, I want it to work, especially if I love that person. I don't even think I was capable of love back then. But, I never hurt back then, so it's a defense mechanism I suppose.
Dating when you're older is hard too. I'm so open, honest and willing to do anything, but it's because I have no ties to anything (besides my dog!). Most people my age are tied by something whether it's kids, ex-wife, jaded from ex, etc. I'm like a 20 year old playing in a 40 year old's dating pool where everyone has something holding them back and really I think they don't want to let go of their last decade of what they are used to. Most people are creatures of habit, so they don't want to let go of the last relationship. I just want to have fun and be in love, but I'm constantly reminded of "grown-up" things and every excuse in the book. Just like I have my defense mechanisms, people my age have the same issue except it's to stay in the same place they were because they can't let go.
verso
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Really? Their issues, not yours? You admit that you're now annoyingly emo ever since your ex. died, trying to get back that young, careless sort of joie de vivre, albeit unsuccessfully, but you don't think that maybe some of your own baggage may be partly to blame for the disappointment you feel? (shrugs) Hey, I'll take your word for it... we're a disappointing bunch, us guys. lol
junegreenjeans
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1999
The latest one was by far the worst. I actually started a few threads about it here.
It happened a bit over a year ago. We had been dating for over two years. There were a few issues in the relationship and both of us were having some reservations about marrying one another (this would be necessary if I was to go live in the US with her). She was also having a few problems with her mental health and I was trying hard to help her out (although it wasn't doing much good). But all in all, I would have considered us both in love. I loved her dearly and I thought she felt the same. There weren't any real signs about what was about to happen.
Anyway, one night she didn't come home when she said she would. I called at like 5am to find out where she was and when I finally got hold of her she told me she was sleeping with someone else. She came home a few hours later and broke up with me and then moved out of the apartment. Pretty much she left me for someone she worked with. They both got engaged shortly after and are now married (got married like 4 months after this happened).
To say I was very hurt was an understatement. I was both furious and deeply clincally depressed. Not to mention very confused about what happened (it was only last month after I contacted her out of the blue did she give me the full run down on what happened). I have felt that way up until the last four to three months.
Now, my opinion on the matter has changed. I think that it would have been awful mistake to marry someone so unstable and untrustworthy. I think I would have been miserable with her. That is not to say that I still don't think about it a lot and sometimes get pissed off about it, but in reality it was probably a blessing in disguise. I now have a good job, good money, reconnected with old friends, done plenty of soul searching and confronted a few demons. I have gotten comfortable with being single and being alone (that's not to say I am going to a spinster but I am not reliant on another person).
Meanwhile, I look at current relationship with a bit of humour. She is going to be a doctor. Yet, she married a guy she hardly knows who doesn't have a job, a university degree, or really any prospects in the US. She is overly concerned about financial stability so her having to support him (or being the primary bread winner) will piss her off no end. He will have difficulty moving in the same circles as her. Not to mention, they still don't really know one another. I have a feeling that karma will come to bite them both.
Anyway, that was a bit long winded but yeah that is the story.
It happened a bit over a year ago. We had been dating for over two years. There were a few issues in the relationship and both of us were having some reservations about marrying one another (this would be necessary if I was to go live in the US with her). She was also having a few problems with her mental health and I was trying hard to help her out (although it wasn't doing much good). But all in all, I would have considered us both in love. I loved her dearly and I thought she felt the same. There weren't any real signs about what was about to happen.
Anyway, one night she didn't come home when she said she would. I called at like 5am to find out where she was and when I finally got hold of her she told me she was sleeping with someone else. She came home a few hours later and broke up with me and then moved out of the apartment. Pretty much she left me for someone she worked with. They both got engaged shortly after and are now married (got married like 4 months after this happened).
To say I was very hurt was an understatement. I was both furious and deeply clincally depressed. Not to mention very confused about what happened (it was only last month after I contacted her out of the blue did she give me the full run down on what happened). I have felt that way up until the last four to three months.
Now, my opinion on the matter has changed. I think that it would have been awful mistake to marry someone so unstable and untrustworthy. I think I would have been miserable with her. That is not to say that I still don't think about it a lot and sometimes get pissed off about it, but in reality it was probably a blessing in disguise. I now have a good job, good money, reconnected with old friends, done plenty of soul searching and confronted a few demons. I have gotten comfortable with being single and being alone (that's not to say I am going to a spinster but I am not reliant on another person).
Meanwhile, I look at current relationship with a bit of humour. She is going to be a doctor. Yet, she married a guy she hardly knows who doesn't have a job, a university degree, or really any prospects in the US. She is overly concerned about financial stability so her having to support him (or being the primary bread winner) will piss her off no end. He will have difficulty moving in the same circles as her. Not to mention, they still don't really know one another. I have a feeling that karma will come to bite them both.
Anyway, that was a bit long winded but yeah that is the story.
HarrytheHead
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I?m going through a breakup right now. I?m just looking for constant escape from the sadness. Ughhh
pofacedhoe
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break ups make u feel shit but in time it fades, no-one died though it still feels bad.
find some hobby that is creative for all those negative emotions and get something productive out of it
find some hobby that is creative for all those negative emotions and get something productive out of it
CosmicG
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I had a five hear relationship end by text message. I had finally gotten sober for the first time in almost a decade. Things were really on the up and up or so I thought. Came home to an empty house. She had met someone else and wanted me out of the house in two days. I packed my things, took my dogs, and never saw her again. I had to leave a lot of things behind.
She messaged me a couple months later and the relationship she started with some guy at work fell apart. He had played her. She wanted to talk, but I had already moved on. Since then she sold the house and moved to California. I wonder how she is doing now.
She messaged me a couple months later and the relationship she started with some guy at work fell apart. He had played her. She wanted to talk, but I had already moved on. Since then she sold the house and moved to California. I wonder how she is doing now.
Current breakup. Was with a girl for 4 years, living together for 3. She had a beautiful caring, fun loving side, but most of the time she was depressed, angry, manipulative, neurotic. She took advantage of me financially and emotionally, I basically let her manipulate me because she was a master of using my ultimate weakness against me, guilt.
A lot of the reason I stayed was because she was constantly mentioning suicide, and like the idiot I am, I thought I can't leave, she'll kill herself. I will stay and heal her. Well, 4 years later, she still talked about suicide, regularly made me feel like shit. I felt like I had made a commitment and should stick to it. The thought of her killing herself, or spending every night alone and crying is terribly depressing and I can't stop thinking about it. She may have been shitty a lot, but she is a human being I care for deeply and that shits eating away at me, big time.
Eventually I broke up with her. I think about a month ago. Of course in her eyes I was a heartless piece of shit. She was unwilling to see what she had done to me over those 4 years. I lay awake at night, buying into her garbage and feeling horribly guilty and lonely. Ugh.
A lot of the reason I stayed was because she was constantly mentioning suicide, and like the idiot I am, I thought I can't leave, she'll kill herself. I will stay and heal her. Well, 4 years later, she still talked about suicide, regularly made me feel like shit. I felt like I had made a commitment and should stick to it. The thought of her killing herself, or spending every night alone and crying is terribly depressing and I can't stop thinking about it. She may have been shitty a lot, but she is a human being I care for deeply and that shits eating away at me, big time.
Eventually I broke up with her. I think about a month ago. Of course in her eyes I was a heartless piece of shit. She was unwilling to see what she had done to me over those 4 years. I lay awake at night, buying into her garbage and feeling horribly guilty and lonely. Ugh.
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Asclepius
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^ Oh bollocks. Proper order in that. Fuck him.
Some people talk of selection boxes at x-mas and I think of all the dark selection of people ( not all people) but enough ..ugh enough.
My first break-up. Not because it was the worst( although it was shit- am not even dealing with details here as I could write a book...), but mainly, because of all the extraneous bullshit and shit I was dealt in my life, atop of it, that made it even harder - especially when a partner doesnt give a fuck about you, as a person.
Nightmare.
On a positive note every other bad-break-up pales in comparison because of it; made me resillient as fuck - still did hurt but that was the epitom?( teenage emotion mixed with dysfunctional family issues blaa blaa), so, it all went managable from there; or at least I learnt the art of compartmentalisation better
.%)
Some people talk of selection boxes at x-mas and I think of all the dark selection of people ( not all people) but enough ..ugh enough.
My first break-up. Not because it was the worst( although it was shit- am not even dealing with details here as I could write a book...), but mainly, because of all the extraneous bullshit and shit I was dealt in my life, atop of it, that made it even harder - especially when a partner doesnt give a fuck about you, as a person.
Nightmare.
On a positive note every other bad-break-up pales in comparison because of it; made me resillient as fuck - still did hurt but that was the epitom?( teenage emotion mixed with dysfunctional family issues blaa blaa), so, it all went managable from there; or at least I learnt the art of compartmentalisation better
.%)
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Asclepius
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Ah helll man, thats rough. Am sorry. Hope you find much better person to meet your needs and what's good for you, in your future.
Limpet_Chicken
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The worst ever...jesus christ it was, still is, a damn bad one.
Was 19 at the time, 32 now, and its still every bit as painful as the day it happened.
Met this girl, kinda young, although given the way she..errr....'introduced' herself I didn't know beforehand. 14yo, long, dark hair, body to die for, shit, even her voice would turn my insides to jelly. Classically autistic, and fuck me...absolute stunner, kinky as, and personality wise, bubbly, warm, loving, kind, funny, everything anyone could possibly want in a woman. So after I found out her age and other things about her (her 'introduction' was one step short of rape, could certainly have called the pigs on her if I'd have wanted to, but as it happened, we just sort of..well..kinda realized that we were born for each other so it didn't matter to me at all, hell, it was hot!) I was way, way, WAY beyond any hint of having a flying fuck to give about her age. I knew it, but the only reason it was important to me, was so I could know when to celebrate her birthday. Otherwise, she had me right where she wanted me.
As for how we met..in a forest, and saw her from a distance, while preparing for a paintball game. Then the next thing I know, she was kicking some guy's arse, going absolutely berserkirgang on him for AFAIK, being in the shortest path to me. She'd picked me out of the others readying for the paintball game, and came over like a cannon shot, didn't bother stopping either, just slammed me HARD into a tree, leaving me seeing stars. Girl gives a whole new meaning to 'what a knockout' (the guy she set on looked like he had been run over by a tank and didn't get up for a fair while, either).
Soon as she'd crashed into me, she forced her tongue down my throat and just kept on eating me for breakfast until I could hardly breathe. Eventually she let me go, for the time being, while we made our introductions to each other. I'd just been in a terrible relationship (NT girl, absolutely horrid in every conceivable way), and this young lass, got me out of it.
She might have been young, this kinda crazy brunette autie girl I'd just had ram me with the force of a battlecruiser, but that went right out the window. We were engaged within a week or so, after I proposed to her. We just clicked together, if that makes sense, like an alkyl tosylate and an sec.amine thrown together in a flask. I couldn't wait to ask her, we just knew one another's nature, if that makes sense, knew that we worked together. Every time we met, we would spot each other from a distance and just charge into one another, spinning each other around in the air and howling each other's names, anyone in the way, they just had to make themselves be somewhere else if they didn't want to be ground into the pavement, I know she would have done it too, considering the way we met.
As it is probably all too obvious, this wee firecracker of an autie kinkstress is the love of my life. I've never known anything like it, the sheer intensity of what went between us. We never even had an argument, bar once. And that was when I made the worst mistake of my life, the one that was to tear my soul to pieces, when the two of us shared but one between us. I hope to any power that might exist, that she does not suffer the same. The argument, if you call it that, she told me something terrible. Not sure I think she was right to begin with now, but being younger, the fact I'd just got out of the relationship from hell, it made me too fast to react, and I left. I've regretted it ever since. I've done a few stupid things in my time, but never anything that approached that level of dumbfuck. Not even firing an RPG down a sewer storm drain with only one end and catching the shockwave from the resultant backblast as a little kid could come close to that. Worst mistake of my whole life. I'm trying to trace her, see how she is, at least, if I do manage it, it'd be great if we could begin anew. Because even if the awful thing she told me, is the case, it is completely unimportant now, and it was very soon after I fucked up and damned myself to something worse than hell.
They say 'a fate worse than death' as an idiom all too often. What they don't realize is that such a thing actually exists.
Was 19 at the time, 32 now, and its still every bit as painful as the day it happened.
Met this girl, kinda young, although given the way she..errr....'introduced' herself I didn't know beforehand. 14yo, long, dark hair, body to die for, shit, even her voice would turn my insides to jelly. Classically autistic, and fuck me...absolute stunner, kinky as, and personality wise, bubbly, warm, loving, kind, funny, everything anyone could possibly want in a woman. So after I found out her age and other things about her (her 'introduction' was one step short of rape, could certainly have called the pigs on her if I'd have wanted to, but as it happened, we just sort of..well..kinda realized that we were born for each other so it didn't matter to me at all, hell, it was hot!) I was way, way, WAY beyond any hint of having a flying fuck to give about her age. I knew it, but the only reason it was important to me, was so I could know when to celebrate her birthday. Otherwise, she had me right where she wanted me.
As for how we met..in a forest, and saw her from a distance, while preparing for a paintball game. Then the next thing I know, she was kicking some guy's arse, going absolutely berserkirgang on him for AFAIK, being in the shortest path to me. She'd picked me out of the others readying for the paintball game, and came over like a cannon shot, didn't bother stopping either, just slammed me HARD into a tree, leaving me seeing stars. Girl gives a whole new meaning to 'what a knockout' (the guy she set on looked like he had been run over by a tank and didn't get up for a fair while, either).
Soon as she'd crashed into me, she forced her tongue down my throat and just kept on eating me for breakfast until I could hardly breathe. Eventually she let me go, for the time being, while we made our introductions to each other. I'd just been in a terrible relationship (NT girl, absolutely horrid in every conceivable way), and this young lass, got me out of it.
She might have been young, this kinda crazy brunette autie girl I'd just had ram me with the force of a battlecruiser, but that went right out the window. We were engaged within a week or so, after I proposed to her. We just clicked together, if that makes sense, like an alkyl tosylate and an sec.amine thrown together in a flask. I couldn't wait to ask her, we just knew one another's nature, if that makes sense, knew that we worked together. Every time we met, we would spot each other from a distance and just charge into one another, spinning each other around in the air and howling each other's names, anyone in the way, they just had to make themselves be somewhere else if they didn't want to be ground into the pavement, I know she would have done it too, considering the way we met.
As it is probably all too obvious, this wee firecracker of an autie kinkstress is the love of my life. I've never known anything like it, the sheer intensity of what went between us. We never even had an argument, bar once. And that was when I made the worst mistake of my life, the one that was to tear my soul to pieces, when the two of us shared but one between us. I hope to any power that might exist, that she does not suffer the same. The argument, if you call it that, she told me something terrible. Not sure I think she was right to begin with now, but being younger, the fact I'd just got out of the relationship from hell, it made me too fast to react, and I left. I've regretted it ever since. I've done a few stupid things in my time, but never anything that approached that level of dumbfuck. Not even firing an RPG down a sewer storm drain with only one end and catching the shockwave from the resultant backblast as a little kid could come close to that. Worst mistake of my whole life. I'm trying to trace her, see how she is, at least, if I do manage it, it'd be great if we could begin anew. Because even if the awful thing she told me, is the case, it is completely unimportant now, and it was very soon after I fucked up and damned myself to something worse than hell.
They say 'a fate worse than death' as an idiom all too often. What they don't realize is that such a thing actually exists.