HarrytheHead
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 14, 2013
- Messages
- 194
How interesting that in almost all of these "worsts", the other person broke it off.
Guess that hurts the most?
Guess that hurts the most?
^Hopefully you went out and got some new friends, too?
My "worst breakup" was the first one, of course, the one with whom I considered to be my first real girlfriend, my "first love."
I was 17, and she was 16, and I was just madly, madly in love with her -- absolutely head-over-heels in love with this girl. I thought that I was going to marry her; I thought that we would have a family and grow old together; I could not imagine ever not being with her. The thought just never crossed my mind...
... until she broke up with me! And man, was I crushed. I was so deeply depressed. It put me in the hospital. I mean, I fell the fuck apart! I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't concentrate in school. It was all I thought about. It was terrible, just awful... and I didn't come out of it for months. Not a good experience... not at all...
I am so opposite and notice that every time I read SLR. As I get older, I care more. When I was 16-18 I just didn't care. I would fuck and then I just didn't care what happened. I've been more emo at such a huge annoying level since the ex died. I'm trying to get that "DGAF" level back, because men have been such a huge disappointment for me for whatever their issues are...and yes, it's usually their issues not mine. I used to just go, have fun and didn't care when I was that age. I remember my BF at that time (first "love"), and I didn't care when we broke up. I don't even remember who broke up with whom, because I just didn't care.
Ugh...life. It sucks balls.
hmm i was more childish and manslutty when younger. these other day i felt like my current situation was not going to work out and i felt shattered and crushed until i had a chat and ironed out the problem/temporary alleviated my (justifiable given the circumstances) insecurities.
god it was as bad as at a young age. the heart is always fragile in a sense...
I am so opposite and notice that every time I read SLR. As I get older, I care more. When I was 16-18 I just didn't care. I would fuck and then I just didn't care what happened. I've been more emo at such a huge annoying level since the ex died. I'm trying to get that "DGAF" level back, because men have been such a huge disappointment for me for whatever their issues are...and yes, it's usually their issues not mine. I used to just go, have fun and didn't care when I was that age. I remember my BF at that time (first "love"), and I didn't care when we broke up. I don't even remember who broke up with whom, because I just didn't care.
Ugh...life. It sucks balls.
Current breakup. Was with a girl for 4 years, living together for 3. She had a beautiful caring, fun loving side, but most of the time she was depressed, angry, manipulative, neurotic. She took advantage of me financially and emotionally, I basically let her manipulate me because she was a master of using my ultimate weakness against me, guilt.
A lot of the reason I stayed was because she was constantly mentioning suicide, and like the idiot I am, I thought I can't leave, she'll kill herself. I will stay and heal her. Well, 4 years later, she still talked about suicide, regularly made me feel like shit. I felt like I had made a commitment and should stick to it. The thought of her killing herself, or spending every night alone and crying is terribly depressing and I can't stop thinking about it. She may have been shitty a lot, but she is a human being I care for deeply and that shits eating away at me, big time.
Eventually I broke up with her. I think about a month ago. Of course in her eyes I was a heartless piece of shit. She was unwilling to see what she had done to me over those 4 years. I lay awake at night, buying into her garbage and feeling horribly guilty and lonely. Ugh.