hppd or fucked myself (Nbome) ?

[voxxx]

well. it starts a month ago, I take a hit and half of what I think was 25-c nbome,
maybe 1100/1200 mics and have had a really bad trip for several hours.
it seems has changed me drastically in a negative way, never had these problems before with mushrooms or LSD.
after a month the situation seems changed little, except for severe headaches that I had the first 2 weeks.
I have anxiety and panic attacks that I can curb with benzo. I think I developed a bit HPPD (as cevs of trip, visual snow, static) and derealization, but I fear something more
I always head confused and out of tune, I can not more to entertain or be happy, I have a void of emotions and thoughts, I locked myself, I speak very little.
it seems i developed cognitive disorders and perception, visual but even auditory perhaps. and it is as my brain is a bit detached from my senses, after this.
I have memory lapses stronger than normal, I feel 24/24 shot down and tired. Sometimes I have disturbed and distorted thoughts.
Visual disturbances, cause me anguish and paranoia

I feel like my brain does not process colors and shapes as before,
even the perception of space seems different than before, I feel confused visually
this makes me terrible think to have altered my brain permanently.

I see a little misty. The colors seem to me changed: fuzzy, less dense, lightened, also the light of the sun . as they lost something.
sometimes they get confused, they seem almost drool over (eye examination is perfect). sometimes I perceive perspective errors.
if focus with steady eyes it seems to me, that for a few moments, things improve slightly. I happen to notice continuous regular flash with eyes closed
after the bad trip I stopped all drugs, alcohol and caffeine.
I would ask. are these disorders typical of an HPPD / derealization? or do I need to investigate more thoroughly to neurological problems or psychic?

i take this shit cause one give me instead of lsd
sorry for language

 

[sekio]

This sounds like normal after-effects of a bad trip. The long and short of it is you need to accept that most of the "damage" is caused by latent anxiety. The more you isolate yourself from the world the more your derealization will take hold.

 

[voxxx]

thanks for your comfortable answer , but I can not be more peaceful, disturbances continue.
I read and know the nbome series are stimulants similar to amphetamines, so I m wondering if at this I could have damage 5-HT2A receptors for the overdose, cause i had a really bad physical and mental discomfort during the trip (starts with a crazy heartrace > feel really bad physically and mentally, with spasms, left arm pain and loss sensitivity >very low heart race and feel incredibly down).
or it could be receptors down-regulation, could i start to treat myself with St John's wort in this case?

 

[sekio]

You are not damaged in the slightest. It's not receptor damage or downregulation. Trust me on that. To go from "I felt bad on a trip" to "my receptors must be damaged" is a fallacy known as affirming the consequent. Just because you had a bad time does not mean you had incurred damage*. Even if the NBOMes did downregulate 5ht2a, in around 2 weeks it would be back to normal.

People who present with nonspecific malaise after intense hallucinogenic trips almost never have any signs of damage to the brain, nor do they have any evidence of depleted neurotransmitters or loss of receptor binding. They are totally physically normal. What you are suffering is more likely a kind of post-traumatic stress disorder, caused by a psychedelic experience which left your mind questioning the validity of your sensory input. It was certainly a stressful bad trip for you, and it's well known that stressful incidents can disrupt people's lives. Basically, the trip caused negative emotions that put you into a negative feedback loop. The more you fixate on how bad you feel, the fogginess in your head, and such, the more it will effect you, and the more depressed you will be about it, further exacerbating the problem. If you were a regular consumer of caffeine, and stopped suddenly, that would also contribute to you feeling depressed and out of energy. If you used to get a lot of social interaction but suddenly stop for a while, you'll probably feel lonely!

Color distortions, perspective errors, seeing flickers with your eyes closed, visual "bleeding" over dark objects on bright backgrounds, are actually all normal even in sober healthy people! The eye is not a digital camera. it is a biological system that is subject to noise and distortion, and moreover it has to be interpreted by your brain! The whole field of visual illusions, perspective in painting, and the like, relies on the fact that your eye can be easily tricked into seeing things a "different way" than they actually are.** It's not a sign of damage.

Most "cures" for HPPD and the like are therapy-based, or involve treatment with anti-anxiety medications. By and large, the best thing to do is, stop isolating yourself. Accept that your eyes can be a little funny at times, and instead of staying at home feeling miserable, go out and start doing things. Sports, art, science, learning. Be productive, get your brain and muscles working. You are not going to get better by being sad and alone.

The point is - you are the only one limiting yourself from having conversations, entertaining, and the like. You just have to be strong enough to accept that you had a bad time, and move on with your life. Nobody else can see through your eyes anyway. You don't need to worry.


* Just because you're hungover doesn't mean your liver is failing.
** refs:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eigengrau
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganzfeld_effect
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ocular_straylight
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floater
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_field_entoptic_phenomenon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refractive_error
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visual_snow

 

[The Dr]

You'll be fine. All of that subsides after time. Sometimes seeing a psychiatrist can help also, but time will do the trick. Also no smoking weed, at least for me it amplifies it. Benzo's are also a life saver.

Source: Personal experience, talking with doctors

 

[Crashing]

You'll get better it might take weeks though maybe a few months. I've had horrifying LSD trips that lingered for a long time. There's a reason why psychedelic use was traditionally recommended 1-3 per year. But with all the new shit on the scene i must have tripped 20 times or more this year. It used to be this special moment in time, each trip unforgettable, but it's sort of become something more average probably due to using such a wide variety of chemicals. Back in the day there were like 5 different street drugs all with very different effects but these days in retrospect i've tested at least 80+ different substances and I don't even know what i used to feel like.

 

[RedRum OG]

try to stay away from all drugs. eat well. take vitamins. exercise. jack off. hang out with friends. take walks for fun, take walks to help with anxiety. do everything you can to be distracted, the more you sit around bored the more your mind fucks with itself. if you distract yourself with hobbies, socializing, going out, etc, your mind will slowly be able to heal and get back to where it should. dont drive yourself crazy by always thinking.

keep the mindset that time heals all wounds, and time will slowly bring your brain back to normal. there is likely no physical damage, youre just stuck in a negative mindset from a powerful trip.

youll be okay man, stick in there, definitely dont get addicted to benzos, i would try to avoid those as much as possible.

 

[voxxx]

thanks a lot! all great advice, excellent forum excellent people
I'll keep you informed about my state

 

[Solipsis]

Moved PD >> MAPS Psy HR

 

[SnackAttack]

Don't let it get you down, your fine, your good, get through your day to day tasks and you don't need to worry about changes in your perception... this is natural when you dive into the world of psychedelics... this should be clear to anyone who ingests a compound with very little known human use... the more you think about it the worse it will become... stay on top of it, get above it. Climb to safety.

 

[pmoseman]

Is voxxx fine?

From his messages on this board it seems like voxxx had been dealing with this for a month and a half before creating this thread and two weeks later voxxx was still suffering.

So now a year later I wonder how voxxx is doing.