Im a 14 year old Canadian boy, looking to do Lsd? Is this okay? Ive done high doses of dxm, which were positively life changing, and im on my way to going to high school and dont know what I want to do with my life. While on dxm, I had a crazy experience where I realized what I wanted to do, and who I am, but it was very unclear.. Do you think LSD would give me a more clear, positive insight on who I am and help me discover myself? And how about ecstasy, curious about that to.
Btw, im not doing it for fun, I plan on using it as a helpful tool, although its hard to find :/ But when I find it I plan on using it responsibly, and ive done months worth of research on the drug to prepare myself for the experience.
The mistake, reading your post, is thinking that it's somehow about LSD, that the drugs are the problem here, or even the question.
The effect of LSD or whatever on your neural development is much less important than the effect of your
behavior on your
mental and social development. Dude, don't take this the wrong way, but you're acting sort of weird. It is
just plain strange to see a fourteen-year-old drinking entire bottles of cough syrup and trying to change his life. You don't even have a life to change!
I'm going to go out on a limb here: I bet you've been doing drugs
alone. Let me tell you something that a good friend of mine told me some time ago, when I was at the end of the path you're starting to walk down:
bt said:
I saw myself in you--in your endless need to be smart, by comparison to others, to be interestingly eccentric--and I wanted to prevent you from becoming that guy.
But I can't. No one could for me, and I can't do it for you, and you won't be able to help anyone else either. I got accustomed to staying outside of the circle of perpetually, arrogantly unfixable people like myself. That's why I never liked dealing with you, I avoid your hipstery reddity bullshit, and I hate what you are. I hate you, because you are a palpable, younger #####. You are the monster I was, the monster I defeated, and I hate looking at what I was.
I think that you need to take a look at your relationships with the people around you because
something is driving you to take drugs instead of sharing your life with all of the other wonderful human beings that inhabit the Universe, and at your age you will find it is seriously more important to be developing social connections, learning to set aside time for work, and developing skills -- any skills, be they musical, mathematical, literary, artistic, athletic, or anything else.
Using drugs, or not using drugs, is not as important as doing things that will teach you through experience how to be an adult human being. If, by some chance, marijuana comes your way, or alcohol, even, in fact, LSD,
it is okay: not good, not bad, just okay, as long as you are doing things for their own sake and not to get drugs. You have to build your world:
then you can distort it, but seriously: you have to build your world. The sense of identity you will come away with by letting
the search for drugs guide your life at this critical period in your development is not a healthy one. You really, really need to just meet people and talk to them, just deal with tedious and difficult work and do it and learn to deal with the difficulty of doing it, just pursue activities you find entertaining and fulfilling and develop your skills at doing them, so that you can become a complete person.
Just do these things, and don't let yourself be distracted by errant personal quests: for drugs, for some special girl who you're totally in love with (you're not), for the feeling that you are mature and intelligent (it really, really does not matter), for the idea that you are attractive and sexually compelling (it's seriously just practice and patience), for any sort of identity that you think will set you apart from the world. You do not need to set yourself apart from the world. You will regret it. (feel free to get a girlfriend if you want, just don't be crazy about it)
You do not want to learn the habit of
obsession, because, and this is a guarantee: obsession is a more dangerous thing to learn at your age than almost anything else.
You need to learn to be comfortable with who you are right now, living with real people, doing real things, in the real world.
Let me tell you something: adulthood is very often dull, very often tedious, very often difficult, very often uncertain, very often painful, but it is
also totally worth it. You do not want to sabotage your development by letting unimportant things like LSD occupy your still very valuable time and thoughts.
You do not, I repeat, you do not want to become a perpetually, arrogantly unfixable person like I did. That path only leads to psychotherapy. There is so much more to life than that.
I wish you way more than luck.