Tell me your success stories about quitting opioids and NOT having never-ending PAWS

[Swimmingdancer]

I need some hope right now. I need to hear from those people who quit opioids after long-term use and did feel happy and healthy and able to enjoy life again.

I have been on opioids longer than the time I was alive before I started using them, and pretty recently finished a grueling and miserable 1-year methadone taper (meaning I spent over a year slowly tapering off of it, after being on it for 10 yrs) and I just need to hear from people who did NOT have post-acute withdrawals than went on for years.

I think/hope the internet is unbalanced as far as having a lot of accounts from people who felt like they couldn't function without opioids and eventually went back to using them because they felt they saw little improvement months or years after quitting, and those people who did recover are not sharing their stories as widely because they are busy living their lives.

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey swimmingdancer.. I stopped a IMO huge opiate habit. SB (c and China) to tar.. up to tar, methadone, roxy, xanax.. after a three week taper and clonidine I was able to successfully able to detox what three weeks before had been 150mgpd methadone, 260mgpd roxy, 6 mg xanax.. PAWS were and issue for a little while but I am now on almost six months of being clean.. I no longer suffer from any depression or blues. I had all the symptoms but they got steadily better until in one weekend, maybe overnight my mind cleared and allot of those symptoms disappeared. about 4.75 months.. but pain DR told me it could be as long as 7.5 months.

Here are somethings I did to help combat some of the common symptoms

slowly started and maintained an exercise program- alleviated depression buy helping increase serotonin. be careful not to get dependant on exercise, Helped me to repair my body that had been ravaged from years of substance abuse.. it hasn't even been six months and I'm pretty damn ripped, this has also given me confidence as I was able to set a goal and accomplish it, something that is really hard to do while using, also it helped me with self confidence as my body looks good and feels strong:D

Had a blood work up to check hormones.. heavy opiate us can play havoc with hormones causing or worsening many parts of PAWS... for example a heavy opiate dependent males testes will stop roducing teatosterone, this leads to all the problems of no testosterone.. so it a good idea to have your hormones checked, this can allow for hormone replacement or at least if you know whats up with your horemones you will probably have a good idea when they may return to normal.

drug addiction causes changes in your brain, Your brain is like a muscle, you need to use it or loose it.. For this exact reason I try and give my brain a good work out every chance i get, It may be helpful to do this in a setting where you are not under the gun.. a very structured and grade based uni curriculum is probably best left until your brain clears like mine did.. I would suggest identifying some things you have always like, hit the library or print out things from the internet and study them.. for instance if you have always loved oil painting, maybe a couple books on famous painters, a couple on techniques and a new canvas and paints along with starting a new painting.. I believe that the more parts of the brain you are able to work out the faster and healthier it gets.. activities like this help you to identify things you may have put on the back burner because of use and can distract you from that lame argument going on in your head that's trying to get you to use that shit again..

Some of the negative emotions that addiction tries to use to push you into using or cause you to think that life is not worth using are addressed through the aa/na.. steps, I know the culture around AA/NA can get pretty funky and cultist but the steps are designed to address the guilt resentment that addiction manipulates in order to drive us back to using.. all you need to work the steps is a sponsor and a step working guide, meetings are not required.. you can even do the steps through the mail or over email and never have attend a meeting. however if you can find a good group in a fellowship you like then it can be a real plus. The steps are designed to heal us from the addiction and try and address possible reasons we took such solace it a numbing drug like opiates or alcohol.

depression is a big symptoms of paws.. If find yourself down and sad allot, making lists of what you are thankful for are a great idea, TDS has a thankful; or gratitude thread that roles along nice, you can help yourself and others struggling with similar things at the same time.. you will find allot of BL that are doing well are on there allot.

I am about six months out and after struggling with decades of anxiety and depression.. most likely the cause and reason i used I am now not medicated and clean and as happy, content, relaxed as I have ever been. I can 't believe how much time I spent living like that, chasing five minutes of what I feel all the time.. It gets so much better so quickly. Hope this helps, Any support I can give let me know, I know how hard it can be pretty damn happy and strong with things getn better everyday at around six months after hittn it like Hunter S and then some.

 

[Swimmingdancer]

Thanks neversickanymore . It's great to hear your story. How long did you use opioids for and did you have physical pain when you quit?

 

[neversickanymore]

those people who did recover are not sharing their stories as widely because they are busy living their lives.

I believe that this may illustrate an important point as well, I believe its important for people living clean or in recovery to continue or start developing a "life" and begin to expand cultivate their lives, allot of us were forced to put so many things on the shelf and were discouraged or prohibited from exploring so many of the amazing magical paths and experiences of life.. in other words start taking some things of the shelf and begin to move down the paths.. start to live again, you've earned it!!!

 

[neversickanymore]

I used crazy amount of years.. 21 years with a year and a quarter off during that time.. as far as opiats where concerned I was a junkie for over a decade.. about twelve years..

Yes, I had withdraw pains or phantom pains that persisted but got a TINY TINY bit better everyday, of course some days were better than others, but it got significantly better and now is gone. That took a long time, funny how get n clean isn't like in the movies, rite three days of hell and then your all better and sparkly, yeah, the reality of it is that it takes a little time.. I finally just said, you know what most of this pain is not real and the other pain doesn't come from something that i will hurt if I begin to get active.. so I began to exercise slowly, don't get me wrong this hurt, but I always felt better afterward, NEVER WORSE, it helped with the depression and helped me sleep.. oh that's one i forgot to mention, If you can get yourself on a very strict sleep schedule and go to bed and get up at the same time, proper sleep does wonders to naturally stabilize brain chemistry and elevate syptoms of PAWS.. It does get so much better and the more effort you put in the faster and better it gets.. Again anything I can do, I've been there and this helps me to

 

[Swimmingdancer]

I have so much pain, I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia but my current doctor thinks it's probably just from having been on opioids for so long. I have SO much trouble motivating myself to get any exercise. You certainly don't have to worry about me getting addicted to it . The winter is really not helping, I am ultra-sensitive to the cold, even though everyone else thinks today is a nice day I'm shivering.

 

[neversickanymore]

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and told it would never go away, was positive at every one of the specific pressure points for the fibro test. Its all gone, fibro is nerve pain, or pain without any discernible cause. The Phantom pain associated with opiate withdraw is nerve pain created buy the addicted part of your brain to motivate you to use.. after some time it will go away completely and never return, along with that nagging lethargy. I used to where two insulated hoodys in a warm house and during withdraws I would be absolutely frozen and then cover up and become INSTANTLY roasting, uncover frozen cover roasting, all little games a part of your mind is using to drive you to use. I now have no issues with cold and can walk around in a sweatshirt in weather I would not go out in. clonidine should really help with that but time in the long run will kill it.. You are doing so well, I cant imagine doing a yearlong tapper, makes the detox last for over a year, you are doing amazing and its almost over!!

 

[Swimmingdancer]

Wow, that is really encouraging to hear. Thank you

As for the slow taper, in retrospect I think it did me more harm than good because I have been sick for so long it makes it really hard to bear. I should have just done a quick taper, but the conventional wisdom I was given by everyone is to taper off methadone as gradually as possible and that that would greatly minimize or even completely eliminate withdrawals as one's body would adjust (yeah right).

 

[Cartesia]

I haven't been clean for many many years, but the last time I was - I felt really wonderful. The way the sun rays felt when they hit me, the way i felt when i walked/ran/rode... Its the exact opposite 'feeling' to being high on opiates, but IMO its just as 'good'. I dont know why I felt that way... Im mostly an inside/nighttime person, but i really developed a love of nature and sunlight. perhaps it was just endorphins being vaguely similar to opiates.

 

[Serotonin101]

been clean off all drugs for about 14 months now and its great. primary DOC was heroin. I felt pretty much back to normal around 6 months. 3 months I was at like 60% well, 6 months about 80%, 9 months 90%, and a year I felt about 99%-99.99% lol.

 

[Fatjosh]

Two days ago I celebrated 7 months clean from a 240-320mg a day oxy habbit. I cant say im 100% but im pretty close. Now days the only symptoms I have are having a hard time sleeping which I manage with otc sleep aids and an antsy feeling I get if I dont stay busy. I cant just sit in one place too long or I get a feeling that resembles rls but both of these symptoms are nothing compared to how happy I am to be off opiates. Getting clean is an ongoing battle but it is so worth it. Yesterday I went for a 300 mile ride on my motorcycle (the one i bought with all the money i saved from not using opiates)up the coast on highway 1 with a bunch of sober buddies I have made since quitting. Im zooming along watching the ocean and trees fly by and a thought hit me " if u would have told me 6 years ago this is what id be doing now id be so stoked" which sounds kinda random but its not when u consider the mirror image of what u think when u r a drug addict. When I was at my worst I thought "if somone would have told me 6 years ago that my life would be a never ending search for a fix I would have told them they were crazy". I truely believe it is a battle but life is worth fighting for and when u come out the other side you will have insight other people dont, compassion and empathy that other cant imagine and strength that you never thought you had. It can be done, and more importantly it can be done by YOU. I wish u the best SD just remember life is kinda like a round of golf, it doesnt matter who is playing around you and what their score is at the end of the day your only opponent was yourself.

 

[Swimmingdancer]

I haven't been clean for many many years, but the last time I was - I felt really wonderful. The way the sun rays felt when they hit me, the way i felt when i walked/ran/rode... Its the exact opposite 'feeling' to being high on opiates, but IMO its just as 'good'. I dont know why I felt that way... Im mostly an inside/nighttime person, but i really developed a love of nature and sunlight. perhaps it was just endorphins being vaguely similar to opiates.

Sadly that's not how it feels to me, and I don't quite get how that's the opposite experience to being on opiates, what you described is how opiates made me feel: able to enjoy life, simple pleasures, exercise, etc. Being clean is mostly just making me feel like shit, aside from the occasional joy I'm starting to feel about having accomplished it against great odds and joy at the occasional moment when I feel slightly better (small things lol, but a big deal to me). BUT it hasn't been very long since I got completely off all opioids and I'm hoping my hardest that I just need some time to recover and that it will get better. I wish there was more warmth and sunlight where I am, but Spring is coming at least and hopefully I'll eventually stop feeling freezing cold and lacking in energy all the time and be able to get out and enjoy it.

been clean off all drugs for about 14 months now and its great. primary DOC was heroin. I felt pretty much back to normal around 6 months. 3 months I was at like 60% well, 6 months about 80%, 9 months 90%, and a year I felt about 99%-99.99% lol.

Thank you, that is encouraging and sounds realistic.

Yesterday I went for a 300 mile ride on my motorcycle (the one i bought with all the money i saved from not using opiates)up the coast on highway 1 with a bunch of sober buddies I have made since quitting. Im zooming along watching the ocean and trees fly by and a thought hit me " if u would have told me 6 years ago this is what id be doing now id be so stoked" which sounds kinda random but its not when u consider the mirror image of what u think when u r a drug addict.

That's what I did and how I felt after I quit heroin. I was still on methadone and had been for a long time, but all it did was mostly alleviate withdrawal symptoms. I was happily riding along thinking "wow, I never thought I'd be doing this", it was a beautiful day, and then a large vehicle smashed into me and I was badly injured. FML, right? lol. But, trying to think positively, I think that accident led to where I am now, it helped motivate me to get off methadone because the methadone didn't even help with my pain and I figured I really only had 2 options: escalate my dose and stay on methadone forever, or try to get off of it. It was also a wake-up call about how easily I could have died (the hospital said I definitely would be dead if I hadn't been wearing a good full-face helmet - always wear a good helmet even if it doesn't look as cool or isn't as comfortable!) or how easily people I care about could die. And I didn't want to live the rest of my life trapped by methadone, limiting my options as to what I could do and where I could go. Also the brain damage might have had something to do with it, as sometimes I think it was insane of me to go off methadone after so long and considering all the pain the taper caused me, and I also stopped enjoying alcohol or drugs (not sure about heroin etc as I never tried) after the head injury (which is apparently not uncommon).

But I'm feeling in a better mood today

your only opponent was yourself.

So true

 

[Serotonin101]

the estimates I gave you seem intimidating to some people. but when you're at 60%, it feels worlds better than day 1. then you look back further down and feel galaxies better than day 1. then universes away. yeah moods are still a bit unstable like bipolar extremes sometimes. but I can cope with it.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I've been on Suboxone for a few years, and only experienced PAWS from heroin for the first year on Suboxone.

I've been able to go as long as 26 hours without Suboxone, and it takes me 12 hours past my last dosage before I start experiencing withdrawal.

And even when I start going through withdrawal, it takes at least 14 hours before it starts feeling unbearable.

I expect to be able to comfortably taper off of Suboxone and not have PAWS from it, but I'm not sure. I wanted to share my experience because while I'm still using Suboxone, a single 8mg film can last me as long as 30+ days.

Best of luck getting through the PAWS.

 

[Pagey]

I wish I had a more relevant and encouraging story to share but 'luckily' I've only been abusing opiates/opioids for 10 months ish so I can't say I've got any experience when it comes to recovering from being on them for years - buuut on a parallel note I thought I'd just say that I felt exactly the same as you in the few months after quitting benzos. The withdrawals were absolutely dreadful and landed me in the hospital, but even after the first few weeks were over I didn't feel better at all, I couldn't concentrate on anything, couldn't really think straight at all, couldn't sleep or relax...I sustained a severe neck injury a few years ago (which is what I'd been prescribed the benzos for) and the pain came back x1000 after I got clean. I suspect it's definitely normal for your fybromyalgia to be acting up now that you just recently got off opioids, and it's extremely likely it'll get better over the next few weeks/months.
Anyway my point in babbling on about my life, is that although I had absolutely no hope of anything getting better and although I'm still getting vague WDs today (I quit for good around last june), like brain zaps and random panic attacks which I never used to get, it simply did start getting better with time. It felt ridiculously slow, and it was frustrating, but I've pretty much completely recovered by now and what few remains are left I don't really think about anymore.
Obviously it's a bit different since it was different drugs, but regardless, although everything must feel completely hopeless to you right now considering you're in PAWS, just remember that time will make it better. It might take a while considering the length of your addiction but it'll come eventually, you just have to stay strong

 

[Fatjosh]

SD sorry to hear about your accident, I know that that is a very real possibilty for those of us who like being on two wheels. It was actualy a big anxiety for me for a while, but not because im scared of the possibilty of an accident, im scared of surviving a horrible accident and needing pain meds. I have gotten past that. I always wear proper gear...no brain buckets for me lol. I really hope that your brain hits the "pink cloud" phase like mine did, after a month or two of absolutely no opiates I was the picture of happiness you couldnt make me angry if u tried, I was just so happy to be free. Maybe that wont happen for you but what should happen regaurdless is that you should be very very proud of yourself. Getting off methadone after 10 years...that is a monumental accomplishment like who the fuck does that?that is BOSS. Never let that go. Sending lots of possitive vibes I hope things work for you. Josh

 

[Serotonin101]

request to start poll for swimmingdancer to change name to "methaDONE like a boss"

 

[Swimmingdancer]

the estimates I gave you seem intimidating to some people. but when you're at 60%, it feels worlds better than day 1. then you look back further down and feel galaxies better than day 1. then universes away. yeah moods are still a bit unstable like bipolar extremes sometimes. but I can cope with it.

Yeah, that's exactly what I think, and your estimates of your progress sound more attainable and like they might apply to me than people who are like "I quit and I felt great after 10 days" which is clearly not applicable to me.

I've been on Suboxone for a few years, and only experienced PAWS from heroin for the first year on Suboxone.

I've been able to go as long as 26 hours without Suboxone, and it takes me 12 hours past my last dosage before I start experiencing withdrawal.

And even when I start going through withdrawal, it takes at least 14 hours before it starts feeling unbearable.

I expect to be able to comfortably taper off of Suboxone and not have PAWS from it, but I'm not sure. I wanted to share my experience because while I'm still using Suboxone, a single 8mg film can last me as long as 30+ days.

Best of luck getting through the PAWS.

You are able to make 8mg last for a month?? Like you can take around 0.25mg per day? If so, that's really good and maybe you won't have trouble tapering the rest of the way off

I wish I had a more relevant and encouraging story to share but 'luckily' I've only been abusing opiates/opioids for 10 months ish so I can't say I've got any experience when it comes to recovering from being on them for years - buuut on a parallel note I thought I'd just say that I felt exactly the same as you in the few months after quitting benzos. The withdrawals were absolutely dreadful and landed me in the hospital, but even after the first few weeks were over I didn't feel better at all, I couldn't concentrate on anything, couldn't really think straight at all, couldn't sleep or relax...I sustained a severe neck injury a few years ago (which is what I'd been prescribed the benzos for) and the pain came back x1000 after I got clean. I suspect it's definitely normal for your fybromyalgia to be acting up now that you just recently got off opioids, and it's extremely likely it'll get better over the next few weeks/months.
Anyway my point in babbling on about my life, is that although I had absolutely no hope of anything getting better and although I'm still getting vague WDs today (I quit for good around last june), like brain zaps and random panic attacks which I never used to get, it simply did start getting better with time. It felt ridiculously slow, and it was frustrating, but I've pretty much completely recovered by now and what few remains are left I don't really think about anymore.
Obviously it's a bit different since it was different drugs, but regardless, although everything must feel completely hopeless to you right now considering you're in PAWS, just remember that time will make it better. It might take a while considering the length of your addiction but it'll come eventually, you just have to stay strong

Thanks for sharing, I think that your story is valuable even though it was a different drug. I really hope you haven't just replaced benzos with opioids though and that you might consider stopping opioids while it would still be relatively "easy" as it definitely gets way worse and way harder with time. I absolutely wish when I had only been using opioids for 10 months that someone had told me this and that I'd had the benefit of getting support from somewhere like Bluelight.

SD sorry to hear about your accident, I know that that is a very real possibilty for those of us who like being on two wheels. It was actualy a big anxiety for me for a while, but not because im scared of the possibilty of an accident, im scared of surviving a horrible accident and needing pain meds. I have gotten past that. I always wear proper gear...no brain buckets for me lol. I really hope that your brain hits the "pink cloud" phase like mine did, after a month or two of absolutely no opiates I was the picture of happiness you couldnt make me angry if u tried, I was just so happy to be free. Maybe that wont happen for you but what should happen regaurdless is that you should be very very proud of yourself. Getting off methadone after 10 years...that is a monumental accomplishment like who the fuck does that?that is BOSS. Never let that go. Sending lots of possitive vibes I hope things work for you. Josh

Aw, thank you so much Josh

request to start poll for swimmingdancer to change name to "methaDONE like a boss"

^ahahahahahaha

---

Thanks so much for your support everyone. It's really good to hear from people who aren't like "quitting opioids ruined my life, I never felt better ever again and after years of unrelenting PAWS I eventually went back on them because I simply couldn't function" and so on like I often hear. I'm certainly never going back on methadone, that is the worst opioid IMO.

 

[bagochina]

First tried opiates when I was 13, heroin at 16. Took a few years to get a daily habit, Needle habit quickly followed which lasted 10+ years, interspersed with 2 years methadone, rehabs, jails, geographic relocations. Couldn't deal with it anymore waited and waited until bupe was available (was getting those temegesic .2mg buprenorphines for awhile). Finally bupe was FDA approved. I got on it and tried to breath a sigh of relief but continued using dope for the first couple years on bupe. Finally told myself no more dope just bupe which I did and stayed on bupe another 6 years.

Clean for over 3 years now, feels fucking great! Occasionally now I will get dope dreams for like 3-4 days straight but that's it no desire to use. It did definitely take a solid good 2 years for me to finally start feeling what I thought was normal.

Good luck!

 

[Fatjosh]

Yeah I agree with seratonin methaDONE like a boss should be your new screen name.