I realize this thread is pretty old now. But, I will share my story with hope that someone struggling with this horrible addiction stumbles upon it. And, I hope that my story gives you the hope that you thought you?d never find again. Because not too long ago. I was where you are now. And, I found my glimmer of hope.
I was an opiate addict for approximately 3 years, from age 20-23. I fell in love with a girl in high school when I was 16. It became a very serious relationship and before we knew it we had been together for years. We thought we were inseparable. But, in the end we both had different paths. Shortly after I turned 20 she stopped loving me. But, I still loved her. And, I couldn?t cope with that. I completely fell apart. Long story short, I fell under heavy depression and anxiety. I stopped associating with all my closest friends. I thought id never be the same again. And that was when I turned to drugs. They seemed to make it all go away. I started with the basic opiates Vic?s, Perc?s, etc. And as time went on I turned to stronger prescription opiates and higher doses(You know how it is). By the time I was 22 I had been through 3 treatment programs. All of which were extensive and great programs. But, In the end I just wasn?t ready yet. I didn?t want to be done. I didn?t want to ?feel?. I had moved on to new relationships and made new friends. Most of which were unhealthy. My cousin came from Arizona to live with me and my family for awhile. And I found out he was an opiate addict as well. We fueled each other?s addiction. And that?s when I found myself in a dark garage with a needle, spoon, cotton, and some heroin. From that day, my life got much worse. I became sicker and more hopeless each day. This went on for just under 2 years. During which time I found myself in jail with a 5th degree. Which I thankfully got a stay of adjudication. Meaning if I complete probation, I wouldn?t get a felony. That was my first real wake up. Shortly after I started dating this great girl. She didn?t use, nor did she know I did. Until one night she found a baggie and a needle. She started crying. And I?ll never forget what she told me. She said ?How can I love someone, who doesn?t love themself.?. And she was right. I realized then that I can?t have all the things I want. The people I want to be with. And the happiness that I desire. If, I keep hurting myself with these drugs. I never spoke to that girl after that. I then went to treatment and did it the right way. I had No idea what to do next. I was lost and still hopeless. But, I kept moving forward. I got on suboxone meintenance. I got physically and mentally assessed and properly medicated. I found an incredible opportunity to start an excellent career and took it. That was a HUGE thing for me. I made new healthy friendships and blocked the old ones. That was very important for me. I learned that I dont need to be in a relationship or to rely on friends to make my happy. I can do that myself! I finally got the place where I never thought Id make it to. Right now Im sitting here in my nice appartment with over a year and a half of sobriety. With my job that pays well and treats me great. I have lots of great friends that are always down to have a good drug free time. Im healthy, even fit these days. I even became friends with the girl I loved through high school. And there?s still more great stuff to come that would never have happened if I hadn?t started my new life of sobriety. All of this started to happen within a few months of me actively pushing and fighting for my own path. My own happiness. And now that Im here. I cant imagine going back. Things may not seem to go so great right away once you become sober. It takes time. But, it surely doesnt just fall onto your lap. You have to be proactive and work for it. And one thing that I came to realize is that everyone has to work there own program. Not everything works for everyone. I personally dont attend meetings very often, if at all. I dont fallow the steps. But for a lot of people, those things are necessary! Im all about living in a positive direction now. My goal in life is to become more and more happy with myself. To grow more and more content with what I have. And to enjoy life as much as I can. I still have days where I get a little depressed for whatever reason. And I fix whatever it is. Ive learned that some things are persuable and you can obtain them with a little work. And some things you have to just be patient and wait for them to come to to you. I hope everyone out there that?s struggling, finds whatever it is that snaps them out of it. And that they find what makes them happy in life. And they never stop pushing to become happier.
