i walked into a drug deal my friend set up with a random guy from the internet. And making a stupid manic decision thinking she was gonna get robbed raped or whatever i went with her knowing this was gonna end BAD!!! Well it was a sting and now we're both facing first degree felony charges of conspiracy to traffic and trafficking in oxycodone just for 10 5mg tylenol pills cause it happened in florida on vacation and they are OUT OF CONTROL there. Im facing 3 years in DOC (i might as well kill myself) and 50,000$ in fines (again i might as well kill myself Im currently disabled btw) The depression and stress/anxiety leading up to my court date is hell. Im bipolar 1 PTSD and suffer from extreme anxiety and depression. I already did 20 days in county for it and was sexual harassed/gay bashed/threatend by the COs and its def stacked another level on my PTSD. I can't afford a lawyer so i have a public defender who doesn't give me much information or any kinda of comfort at all. Im ready to just make a drastic decision or something its killing me. Ive never been in trouble or don't do pain killers this was a stupid fucking mistake and my friend who planned the whole deal doesn't even give a shit she even went back to florida got with another addict and is still partying and being a retard while i suffer for her mistake although it was my choice to go to the deal. But i was out of my meds and was in a manic state for 3 days and just panicked about letting her go alone. (stupid stupid stupid) Upon release of county jail i continued with my meds and therapy which i have been in treatment almost my whole life and i also got myself into a 6 week outpatient rehab for mental health and substance abuse even though i don't really need the substance abuse part of it but it helps anyway keeping me sorta sane. Well i guess not sane since im convinced im going to jail and already have it planned to kill myself the first night even my fiance is prepared for me to die if this happens (long story on that one but my life has been nothing but a horror and i just don't have any fight in me to wake up everyday let alone go to jail with a bunch of baby rapers and killers. I don't know what to do and right now i have NO LEGAL ADVICE and am pretty much on my own.