Heroin Heroin Binge... Take 5-HTP? Should I Take Anything? Strange Feeling....

[kanyeknievel]

I am quite P/O that my first thread was never posted, but I guess its a good thing considering the fact that I was nodding out through most of it and I don't know if I wrote it correctly.

Basically, I live in NJ and I was clean for about half a year and I've been on suboxone, not a lot of suboxone. Then I was in England and I asked my one friend if he wanted to just do it for old time sakes.. yadad yada.. and I found someone that sold stuff for basically 1/5 the price I ever got it for, and the same or better potentency.. and it New Jersey thats really good.... so I just got how much I was going to get worth and thats been taking me on a binge, but something weird has been happening , mainly the last two days.

Yesterday I realized it, I was high and I was sorta like sad and depressed and I've never been that way before and I couldn't understand why.. and I am not clinically depressed or diagnosed as depressed at all.. I dont take anti-depressant or anything, I just felt like really emotionally sad, when I should feel just really happy because I am doing heroin... right?

I dont get it, have I been on a binge so long and havent given my body long enough of a time in between snorts of bags to let my body reproduce serotonin , dopamine, and or neurons? I am thinking thats it, I mean its not REALLY BAD, but is it just that? Do i need to possibly take a small break to give my body time to reproduce dopamine, serotonin? Should I take suboxone for a day or two and take a break so I can have my body go back to normal.. or is there supplements that I should use and buy?

I take supplements everyday, but I have been beggining to forget to to take them. I take a massive multi-vitamin and mineral, a B-Enery with Choline, and good Fish Oil, but I have ran out of fish oil and I havent taken that in a few weeks. Should I buy some 5-HTP, St Johns Wort and take those for the next few days? Since I know 5-htp is used for people that roll and take them after the night of rolling to reproduce the serotonin.

Is there anything I can take that will help reproduce dopamine as well? I just feel like something is a miss, out of the norm. The bags are normal, friends have done them. I have done this plenty of times and its never happened before.. So its not something with the bags or just me with heroin, its just this time and on this binge.

 

[mareseatoats]

After I was clean for a few months-following horrible years of addiction, I tried some again for just one day. But the guilt I felt for messing up my time in sobriety was so heavy, that I didn't even enjoy or feel one minuscule of the reason we do heroin in the first place. It was really quite the miserable day.

Maybe you're just growing out of it?

 

[pbuilder]

Maybe it has some sort of a cut in it that is causing this negative reaction/high?

 

[kanyeknievel]

After I was clean for a few months-following horrible years of addiction, I tried some again for just one day. But the guilt I felt for messing up my time in sobriety was so heavy, that I didn't even enjoy or feel one minuscule of the reason we do heroin in the first place. It was really quite the miserable day.

Maybe you're just growing out of it?

yea it might be some of that, which is a really good thing.. but it still should feel like really good tho.. i mean everyone , including us go back it for a reason.

The first and second time felt really good, but what seems to happen the past few days, and the poster above me.. i dont think its cut with anything cuz ive been getting the same stuff n my friends used it n got the same stuff and multiple people used it and no complaints and they all used before, but what seems to sorta happen really now that i think about it is i keep thinking about it more and thats the problem? And what i keep thinking about is, okay if i do this then im gonna nod out and i dont wanna nod out, but if i do this then i wont nod out.. but i wont feel much...

Like for some reason its as if with these bags, they must be strong or somethin cuz its like if i take x amount ill be eh but a then y and its too much and i nod and i cant control it lol.

Also, maybe im sad that usually when i do it i dont buy like A LOT of it, this time i bought like 5x+ more than i usually do.. and all the other times i would get like 2 days worth and then id have to buy more n wait for more and maybe its just all me thinking thats causing me to like not make it as pleasurable as it should be.. its not gonna be all the time like it used to, i used all my money , not alot, and after these are gone thats it until a year... so i want to figure this out before i get to the last one and then figure it out...

Could it be those things i just said, or in the first post... or is it that I dont give myself enough time to produce enough serotonin and dopamine because i do like a bag a night, and i nod out and when i wake up its in the middle of the night and im like "shit i nodded out? I need to do this line i never did " and i do that line and usually just fall asleep and then do it when i wake up.... or I do it until like really late / early morning when i should be sleeping and then i sleep then, and then do it when i get up in the evening?
Do i not give myself time to product serotonin or dopamine and I use it up when I do them in the morning?

I mean I feel good, its just i know i should feel better.. and in the morning when i do my first one or two i feel the best im pretty sure.

Some other expert type people help out too, and thanks for the help guys!

 

[pbuilder]

It happens, your losing the magic. When you start using to often, te result is it stops working or being nearly as good. Try to get daily excersize, eat healthy, and give yourself a tolerance break or else you'll ruin it for yourself for ever.

Edit: whoops, found this thread on google and didn't check the date! Sorry for the ancient grave dig.