I just think that it's one of the very few things as an adult that truly opens your eyes in a way that makes you think "fuck! You mean I can feel like this every time i take one of these????!!!!!"
The fact is you can't feel like that everytime you take them though because the effects lessen over time, nothing can re-create that magical feeling from the first few times. Even after year long breaks, completely new settings, exciting new times with friends who were about to embark on the drug experience for the first time, good quality pills, a night of great atmosphere and excellent music I found myself thinking 'hmmmmm this isn't very great'.
The effects mdma has on me now is very different to the effect it used to have, in fact almost quite the opposite. It's not just that I'm more used to it, now when I take it I'm sapped off all energy, want to sit down and shut everyone out, I feel like just going to sleep and become anti social and don't want to do anything, a total change from the dancing, energetic, loving lunatic who'ld be buzzing around talking to everyone all night.
MDMA is about as far from "plastic" and "unreal" as a drug can be. Feels completely natural - like the piece of me that is missing. Has made huge changes in my life, self-image and relations with others - extremely long-lasting and positive changes. Guess I perceive it in a good way so never lost the "magic" and never will
It's pretty plastic and unreal IMO. You say it's natural but it's not natural, if it were you'ld be saying and doing those things you say / do on MDMA all the time.
Really annoys me when people try and claim the reason the experience isn't good is because the MDMA isn't good stuff. Bullshit that is. It's nothing to do with the potency or purity of the drugs, it still can get me majorly fucked (and if all you want is to be mashed then you're on to a winner) but it doesn't produce the major empathy, loved up feelings, the open ness, the euphoria, the rushes or the tingles like it used to if at all. I just feel fucked in the head and a bit confused and gurn a lot whenever I take it now.
What I found was that it allowed me to flourish in many ways, the first couple of doses really changed my perspective on life and myself, but paradoxically after a lifetime as a shy, scared, paranoid, dysfunctional misanthropic mess, to suddenly be transformed into a confident, socially promiscuous ostensibly "normal" guy
MDMA / Pills / Drugs seemed to do the opposite for me. I used to go out (I was drunk so this may have played a part) and have a great time, was totally confident, never worried about what people would think of me, was quite sure of myself and all sorts of other good things but then I started doing pills and at first it was amazing then slowly but surely I lost all the good feelings from MDMA and all my confidence, self assurance etc crept away from me. Once I stopped the drugs (but kept drinking) this confidence etc never returned and it's never been seen since. Even when out and drunk now I'll not go up and chat to randoms, chat up women, hit the dancefloor and dance like an idiot etc like I used to pre drug era. Drugs changed things quite a bit (might not just have been to do with drugs but more myself, who can really tell) and I've never seen a reemergance of that part of myself.
feel I came out of it a much improved person.
I unfortunately never felt like MDMA changed me or made me a better person or benefited my in anyway, it just caused me nothing but problems. Nothing overly major that's had a dramatic experience on my life but nothing truely positive has came from it either which is a shame. Don't regret trying the drug those first few experiences were magical and out of this world but I regret keeping on using it and not being that educated about it / respecting it.
So in conclusion yes you do lose the magic of MDMA for definite. I think folk who say they haven't are kidding themselves or forgetting just how magical those first times were. Or maybe even there first times weren't actually that special, maybe they just got a bit mashed and it felt quite good and they thought that was it but for me it was a total mind blowing eye opener, fucking fantastic now it's dissapointing and a waste of time.