jada85kiss said:
Ive used opiates regularly since june 07, cuz i split w/my kid;s mom. i went to a detox, and that was fine and dandy. They were feedin me a subutex everyfour hours, except when we would sleep. anyhow, i wont lie, i do enjoy hettin high. yesterday I ate 10 peach xanax and felt decent, if I up that too 16, which would be 8 mgs, is it gonna make me feel that much better or is that a waste in others eyes. Strictly comin from my point of view tho, not an opinion that im a retard or somethin. Plus i got this radial nerve palsy shit in my hand that is killin me, but im afraid to ask a doc for pain meds cuz of my 'tracks'. i dont know what to do there.
Hmm, well, I don't know but what benzo addiction is often mostly mental, tho I'd have argued with ANYone that tried to tell me that before or when I was coming off of them. And I think that at least in my case and some others' cases I'm sure, I was right, that the physical was dangerously horrible too. I had been receiving them for almost ten years and was even started on 6mgs (and that's what I meant by "high dose", as for some people that much by prescription or not is a high dose for a day and some people it wouldn't medically help, individuals and all, but I think it's a fairly high dose to be prescribed). I was also being prescribed hyrdocodone and oxycodone, a myriad of other odd-and-end shit, and tho I've had to take drug tests before it had never been a problem that I smoked pot; suddenly, last June, it did matter. I received a final script and that was that.
Although the clinic I'd been going to took me back in October (and re-prescribed Xanax, albeit a lot less...), I was too far into the cut-down and I'd been forced to see what would happen were I to ever fully lose my script again, and although I could've bought them illegally as I have also done over the years, I knew I would've only been tempting fate and that eventually it would have had to end, again, and I knew I couldn't go through such withdrawals again, ever again, so I chose to not take the Xanax and later asked that I not even be prescribed them (not that I was having trouble not taking them, no, but that if I were to keep getting them then I HAD to take them and I didn't want to lose my opiates over not having the benzo in my system as they were kindly overlooking my THC levels). So it took me from July until December, shaving pills down to miniscule amounts, tapering, before I took my last dose of Xanax (December 3, although I did take half of a five-milligram Valium on Christmas day... and I FELT IT... :D ), but nothing since, and I have a bottle full of them. Maybe another day, maybe, and I could certainly use them medically, but the converse--addiction and the threat of withdrawal--is what keeps me from allowing myself to use them again, yet, and if I ever do use them again (oh, I will but it's all a matter of
when and it will be a LONG TIME from now, that I know), I'll never use them more than once a week even, no way I'll ever go through that again.
But to answer you (and I apologize to others for being so long-winded and off-topic) as far as the difference between opiate and benzo withdrawal, yes, it was the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life (I was offered a chance by a mental health facility to go into an inpatient rehab for it but I declined as I wanted to do it on my own, yet knowing what I know now, whether that was safe or not is simply a coin-toss, I feel I could've easily had a life-threatening reaction to the withdrawals, a stroke, seizures, something, but I was lucky and I only had convulsions... and a million other things that were I a weaker person I would have rather died than experienced and I thought about that seriously too...), worse than any opiate. I actually came off of every drug I was doing during the worst of the withdrawals, oxy, hydro, I quit smoking cigarettes, I quit drinking caffeine, everything but pot (and I know the added withdrawals were no help but I couldn't stand to take anything--my heart would damn near exit my chest and my head would feel so swollen that I'd want too badly to pop it...). It is surely individual, and I believe that the main factor isn't even the amount one is addicted to that prejudges how bad their withdrawals are but instead how long they've been taking them and I believe that with all my heart.
If you were to start a thread on benzo addiction and withdrawals, to get several opinions, there are a lot more things I can say about it and others could too I am certain but if a person can ever avoid one addiction then I'd say it has to be benzo addiction, and if they were to ever want to avoid a second, it'd probably be decades of alcoholism, the only thing I think that can rival it (but that I do not know from experience); actually, I have ran out of opiates many times since but I can bear it with no problem, having been through a fire that almost took my soul.
How long were you using opiates before your stint in detox? (If you happen to start another thread, I'll check for an answer there.)