I just need someone to tell me it will be okay!

Hey guys,

Long long time watcher of this site, but I've finally signed up. I feel like my issue is so minute compared to others on here, but I just need to talk to people who understand!

From when I started drinking I was the worst. I was always the one who had an accidents, did something wrong, passed out, overdid it, whatever! Eventually I ended up in a real bad way in hospital at the end of 2013, this was a real wake up call for me. I totally turned my life around and spent a year sober. This year I started drinking again. At first I thought it was okay and I was just having a pint or two with friends, but as the year has gone on I have fallen deeper and deeper into the way I used to be and I just can't stand it. It's reached the point now where I have started damaging friendships and last night I did some coke as well so it's just gone too far. I desperately want to go back to being sober, but I'm finding it really hard. I have running which keeps me focussed a lot of the time, but could any of you share with me how you get through the first month? After that I think I'll be okay, but I don't see how I can stop unless I isolate myself and that doesn't feel like a great idea either.

Thanks for listening. Peace x

Everything will be okay my friend. I will post more later...I am a little tired right at the moment.

Filling the time you would normally drink with some other fun activity is the basic idea. What specific activity will be pretty unique to you but I am sure people will be along to share there own activity. My other advice is too write down a list of the reasons you are not drinking anymore and put it up somewhere where you will be able to see it often.
just to remind yourself whats up.

Everything will be ok. Its not about the times we fall, its about getting the fuck back up. We only live once so keep fighting.

Everything will be ok. Accept yourself and your feelings and from there you will grow.

nygiants1313 said:

Everything will be ok. Its not about the times we fall, its about getting the fuck back up. We only live once so keep fighting.

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this....one thousand times this.

The best way to see what lays in the hearts of man is to take everything away from him. If he works hard to get it back he is truly a good man...if he wallows in self pity, he is not worth your respect.

I believe the first time you quit that was because you've reached rock bottom.

Don't let this happen to you again, I strongly suggest that you start over today and do it again.

Every time we fall down, it gets more difficult to get up. But you know the drill and you know you can do this.

Don't postpone this moment any further. Act now!

Good luck! (btw welcome to bluelight!)

We are here for you!!
Erik

trust me, you will be okay.


never give up....it gets better. and everything fuckin works out the way its supposed to. i guess i just got sick and tired of my old life. i was IVing heroin and meth. i did every drug and yes, alcohol too...i didnt care. but i became homeless and was in and out of jail. the thing is, you cant drink/use without having consequences!!! thats what got me to quit too....i got tired of the fuckin consequences associated with using/drinking!

your life will be alot better if you get sober. believe that.

but dont isolate yourself completely!

that wont work. you need people/help. cause you cant do this alone...

Thanks guys

I've made myself a plan, a sort of reward thing. Every day without a drink I move 2 pounds to my my savings. After 3 months I'll have enough to buy a new watch I want. SO that's a little goal. I've also arranged to go and talk to someone in a support centre. @Erikmen you're right. I was at rock bottom and I never want to let myself reach the lows I did before, so I'm going to get all the help I can with this one. Every day I find myself trying to rationalise why it's okay to drink sometimes and whatnot, but I'm trying to remember that moderation isn't something I can do. I've slipped up enough to realise that now. I'm all or nothing! Just going to keep running and working on my fitness.

That's an excellent goal man!

I'm glad you can realize when you're rationalizing, and you can remind yourself it's a defense mechanism.

I was just like you for well over a decade. Once i started drinking it was on like donkey kong baby. The sky was the limit and I had no regard for any laws or what line I crossed with the people I knew. It's been years since I had a drink and I still crave drinking weekly. Sometimes the cravings are horrible.

What I do to insure I don't drink is very simple. Rule #1 - no alcohol in the house.
Rule #2 - do not allow myself to go anywhere alcohol is served. Pretty simple eh. Above and beyond that I go to work and I go home. 99% of the time when I leave the house I make sure to take my wife and/or kids with me.

I want to say first and foremost that it's going to be ok. If I can quit anybody can quit. Learn to recognize your triggers then learn to cope with or avoid those triggers. If you need to talk with a hard core alcoholic/Coke abuser feel free to reply in here and I will get back with you or shoot me a pm.

gmlifer said:

I was just like you for well over a decade. Once i started drinking it was on like donkey kong baby. The sky was the limit and I had no regard for any laws or what line I crossed with the people I knew. It's been years since I had a drink and I still crave drinking weekly. Sometimes the cravings are horrible.

What I do to insure I don't drink is very simple. Rule #1 - no alcohol in the house.
Rule #2 - do not allow myself to go anywhere alcohol is served. Pretty simple eh. Above and beyond that I go to work and I go home. 99% of the time when I leave the house I make sure to take my wife and/or kids with me.

I want to say first and foremost that it's going to be ok. If I can quit anybody can quit. Learn to recognize your triggers then learn to cope with or avoid those triggers. If you need to talk with a hard core alcoholic/Coke abuser feel free to reply in here and I will get back with you or shoot me a pm.

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That's good advice. I may add Rule #3 If you are watching a movie or TV show with lots of drinking, switch channel or turn off the TV. That shit is triggering!! I was watching 'Homeland' on Netflix and the constant drinking definitely triggered me, and alcohol is probably drug of choice 4 in my addiction....so yeah...careful!

Hey gmlifer, great advice, thanks I think the reality is I'm going to find it hard to stay out of these situations. We often have free beer/wine in the fridge at the office and my house is currently full of people drinking and taking drugs. Right now it's okay because I'm totally turned off the idea of taking anything, but I know as time goes on it is going to get harder and harder to be in this situations. I guess at some point, if it's causing me to crave drink and drugs I will have to move to keep myself safe.

Good point @what is it? I definitely find tv/films with drug and alcohol use in a trigger. I don't know if it's just me, but even films like requiem for a dream and trainspotting glamorise the idea of drug taken and generally losing grip on life to me. I'm lucky that in my lowest point I never actually found any heroin or opiate of any kind, because that would have been it for me I think. Even now when I watch these types of things it draws me in though. Before the final hospital trip that saw me go sober, I did actually have a drug overdose. About a year before, but even that didn't get me to clean up my act.

CocoaBandit said:

Hey gmlifer, great advice, thanks I think the reality is I'm going to find it hard to stay out of these situations. We often have free beer/wine in the fridge at the office and my house is currently full of people drinking and taking drugs. Right now it's okay because I'm totally turned off the idea of taking anything, but I know as time goes on it is going to get harder and harder to be in this situations. I guess at some point, if it's causing me to crave drink and drugs I will have to move to keep myself safe.

Good point @what is it? I definitely find tv/films with drug and alcohol use in a trigger. I don't know if it's just me, but even films like requiem for a dream and trainspotting glamorise the idea of drug taken and generally losing grip on life to me. I'm lucky that in my lowest point I never actually found any heroin or opiate of any kind, because that would have been it for me I think. Even now when I watch these types of things it draws me in though. Before the final hospital trip that saw me go sober, I did actually have a drug overdose. About a year before, but even that didn't get me to clean up my act.

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Hang around the Sober Living forum bro, it's full of good people sharing your journey together. It helps me heaps with staying clean and reaffirming that fact by showing up here at least once or twice a day Beats the time it takes going to NA meetings!

CocoaBandit said:

Hey gmlifer, great advice, thanks I think the reality is I'm going to find it hard to stay out of these situations. We often have free beer/wine in the fridge at the office and my house is currently full of people drinking and taking drugs. Right now it's okay because I'm totally turned off the idea of taking anything, but I know as time goes on it is going to get harder and harder to be in this situations. I guess at some point, if it's causing me to crave drink and drugs I will have to move to keep myself safe.

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If you're serious about your sobriety, you will have to make it a priority. You can control your house - don't allow people to enter your house if they are going to compromise your sobriety. I know it may be difficult, particularly around the holidays, but it's your house. The people who care about me know that I have to remain sober, and don't drink/drug around me. It's a nonissue. At work, I choose to limit my exposure when people drink. It's out of my control, the only choice I have is to not participate. I will indulge in a sweet treat, because sugar will help keep cravings at bay.

For me, naltrexone was critical in early recovery. I got the vivitrol shot for 8 months, beginning when I left rehab. I didn't have cravings, and even at two years sober, haven't been plagued with cravings. It really made a difference. The other time I went to rehab I relapsed shortly thereafter, because the cravings were insidious. To this day I keep naltrexone pills on hand should I ever start having cravings again. I hope I am done with them, but the naltrexone is a nice security blanket lol.

Other things that help me stay sober are being on a regular schedule with both food and sleep. I also have healthy hobbies - I play golf during the day on the weekends, walk a few miles before dinner, and ballroom dance in the evenings. None of these things involve alcohol for me, and they help to ensure I am tired at night. I also try to eat fairly healthy so I am not nutrient deficient. I take vitamin b supplements as I feel I am inclined toward a deficiency, and they help keep me straight.

When I was just starting out on the path to sobriety I realized I had to resolve the mental health piece that was driving me to drink. I found that having my anxiety in check has diminished the drive that pushes me toward alcohol. I recommend forming a recovery team with a good counselor and psychiatrist - and make sure they communicate with each other. You don't need a mindless pill pusher, but someone who can prescribe medication that will benefit you. It's very easy to end up with an addiction to prescriptions, so you need someone who won't just throw pills at you.

Most importantly, you need to want sobriety. If you're not ready to make monumental changes to your life, your odds of getting and staying sober aren't very good. I fought a constant five year battle to get to where I am now; I have two years sober. I worked tirelessly to find counsellors, various recovery programs, impatient, outpatient, etc to find something that worked for me. It was painful, tiring, expensive, and very disheartening to try some many times and keep failing. It absolutely sucked and was the hardest thing I ever did. It was totally worth it, and the best decision I ever made. I say all this because it's not easy, and not for the faint of heart. If this is something you want, work for it. Expect bumps in the road. You may lose some battles, but you can win the war. You absolutely got this! I wish you the best of luck!

The problem is I rent a room in a house and I can't ask my housemates not to have drinks here, they'd laugh it off and carry on as usual.

Sounds like you're really on top on things x_benzo_girl. Well done for the long hard effort you've put in. You should be proud of yourself. I know I have some psychological stuff to get over or I'm going to forever be getting sober and messing up further down the line. I agree on the regular schedule thing. Last year when I was off drink I was working full time and doing crazy loads of fitness. I still have all of that actually I just seem to have worked drinking in as well somehow!

Anyway, I went to an alcohol support place today, and if I'm honest I don't feel like it helped me at all, but today is day 7 and I'm just trying to convince myself I can be like everyone else. I can't. I just keep asking myself is abstinence really necessary? Have any of you manage to go from heavy drinking to a casual couple of drinks here or there and never escalating it to anything more? Am I living in fairytale land hoping I can do that?

That's tough - you may want to consider finding a different place to live. As for controlled drinking, I've known some people who have done it successfully. I didn't work for me. My tolerance is too high. I would have to have four or five drinks just to start feeling it, and by that point I would just rationalize having even more drinks.

Getting a handle on the mental health piece was the singular most important piece of my recovery. I had to learn different coping mechanisms for anxiety, and also depression. Anxiety and hopelessness drove me to continually relapse until I started learning how to deal with the anxiety.

I am so sorry you are going through this, I know how bad it sucks. I wish you the best!

x_benzo_girl said:

That's tough - you may want to consider finding a different place to live. As for controlled drinking, I've known some people who have done it successfully. I didn't work for me. My tolerance is too high. I would have to have four or five drinks just to start feeling it, and by that point I would just rationalize having even more drinks.

Getting a handle on the mental health piece was the singular most important piece of my recovery. I had to learn different coping mechanisms for anxiety, and also depression. Anxiety and hopelessness drove me to continually relapse until I started learning how to deal with the anxiety.

I am so sorry you are going through this, I know how bad it sucks. I wish you the best!

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Totally agree with this. Therapy/counselling and lots of self-help books plus Buddhist texts are what gave me some serenity from drugs. It's been a process but I think this is what's getting em there. By the way, nice name x benzo girl. Wish i could say i was completely free of that pest of a medicine.

What was it? said:

Totally agree with this. Therapy/counselling and lots of self-help books plus Buddhist texts are what gave me some serenity from drugs. It's been a process but I think this is what's getting em there. By the way, nice name x benzo girl. Wish i could say i was completely free of that pest of a medicine.

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I had a ten year run with Xanax...getting off them was a soul crushing experience. It's been over five years since I had one, and I'm still recovering lol. Memory is much better than what it was, but I still have to write down/save to phone anything I need to remember. Though, I think the Xanax actually made my anxiety worse in the long run.