PDA

View Full Version : Doing things on MDMA you regret afterwards - Is it just me?



Abundance
03-07-2012, 02:01
So I've taken MDMA a couple of times, every time has been on my own at home with good music and it's always been awesome. One of my problems is though that I get so overwhelmed by the feeling that I always end up sending inapropriate texts or messages to people and get overly honest, admitting and telling things which I really shouldn't be talking about. To be honest, I get like this on quite a few drugs, anything that makes me happy, relaxed or overconfident but MDMA is without a doubt the worst. I know I am going to regret it whilst I'm writing it but I just can't stop myself. I can't imagine what crazy and inapropriate things I'd do if I took it with other people or in a public place. I know it's kind of part of the MDMA experience but I really do take it too far. Last night I took a pretty high dose (200+ mg) of good crystals and ended up writing a long message to someone and I've been lying in bed all day regretting it. I actually haven't felt the typical "comedown" I sometimes get but the immense regrett after doing something stupid is probably worse.

So is this normal? Is there any way to stop doing it, I enjoy MDMA too much to give it up and it's not a huge deal, it just really ruins the experience. I've got a reply to my message but am too scared to open it, I can't even bring myself to re-read what I wrote but I have an idea. Arghh :( :(

yanker
03-07-2012, 02:17
Why don't u share with us what u wrote? Sorry I'm nosey. Maybe u should bring ur phone and computer to ur friends house when u roll so u can't get on em. I wouldn't worry bout it unless ur sending messages to ur best friends girl saying u wana sleep with her then I'd say u have a problem but mdma makes people open up and s
ay how they feel. Why not try taking it with another person

Cz_x
03-07-2012, 02:23
I always write out a nice status for facebook, or a long text to someone I like. Luckily I always get to the end, re-read it and then just think to myself "i'll read it again in a couple of hours and decide if I want to send it".

Abundance
03-07-2012, 03:19
Why don't u share with us what u wrote? Sorry I'm nosey. Maybe u should bring ur phone and computer to ur friends house when u roll so u can't get on em. I wouldn't worry bout it unless ur sending messages to ur best friends girl saying u wana sleep with her then I'd say u have a problem but mdma makes people open up and s
ay how they feel. Why not try taking it with another personWell I don't really have any good friends, or to be honest I probably don't have anything at all resembling real friendship. It's mainly people I've known before that I've moved away from but still keep in touch with, or the odd people I talk to online, the odd one I've met. Hence why I always do drugs alone, even though I swore to myself I would not waste any more MDMA experience (I hear that the magic wears off after a while, even with breaks in between) on my own but It's too great not to take, all my MDMA experiences have pretty much been the happiest moments in my life so I'll probably keep taking it alone.

Regarding what I wrote, well.. I guess it wasn't a huge deal. Just writing a long, painfully detailed and over the top-emotionall message to a girl who is clearly not interested, not the first time I've done it, although I used to get more sympathetic replies, I guess she's fed up, the reply was something along the lines of "I can't be bothered with this, just leave me alone, sort yourself out". If I posted what I wrote you'd probably understand my anxiety about this haha, not to mention the glimmer of hope MDMA always creates only to end up becoming another rejection when I'm already extremely down as it is. Feel like a right idiot.. would kill for some opiods right now :(

dezz
03-07-2012, 03:29
I'm the same as you Abundance. I always do shit, especially regarding girls that I regret the next day. Hell some moments of my roll 3 months ago still make me blush and hide in shame today lol... I think the reason you're texting and shit is because you are rolling alone and you just feel the need for some companionship/sharing the amazing feeling. The solution is rather simple. Don't roll alone. I'm sure you can find SOMEONE who will roll with you.. The feelings will be mutual and it won't really be an issue.

Cz_x
03-07-2012, 03:29
Get involved in the rave scene, fuck bitches, use a condom. I guess that's a nice short term fix.

roastlamb123
03-07-2012, 04:08
I know exactly what you mean. The post-MDMA depression seems to make me regret most things. On a night out I try to pull women of course and what better way with than with the support of MDMA. I am so easily distracted etc and just having a general good time to focus on things like pulling. I just wonder round talking to the whole club without thinking, making a fool of myself. I then wake up and remember these embarrassing moments.

BobJillespie
03-07-2012, 05:47
Yeah, i started using MDMA again after a long break (some other drug dependency issues took hold during that time) and the first few times doing it I opened up to people I didn't really know and trust about those drug issues. I regretting it for a few weeks. But I just accepted I needed to get it off my chest; I needed to talk to someone about this stuff. I think it's healthy. And I really don't care what people think of me; and that's the crux of this issue, isn't it?

But now I realise this tendency of mine to be open, I have enough self realization and control to stop doing it. Just be aware of it and think "would I say this sober? Do I want to tell this person this stuff"

Folley
03-07-2012, 05:50
Teh mods ought to move this thread here:

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/25579-Seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time-silly-things-you-ve-done-on-E-Mega-merge


Found courtesy of the ED Directory :)

buffalosoldier
04-07-2012, 17:30
Use MDMA in a club and make new friends! Everyone clubbing where I go is friendly as fuck.


Get involved in the rave scene, fuck bitches, use a condom. I guess that's a nice short term fix.

do not ROLL alone mate!
you are missing the best part of it!!!!!!!!

Bone14
04-07-2012, 17:53
tendency to say things you might feel uncomfortable about later
From erowid MDMA vault, it is pretty common.

http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/mdma/mdma_effects.shtml

llama112
04-07-2012, 18:41
It's definitely common. I'm pretty sure most of us have done things like that :p. Who are you rolling with? Anyone? From your post, it seems like you are rolling alone. MDMA is very social, as you can tell, so maybe try it in a club or with some friends or something :).

thizzlemonster86
04-07-2012, 20:14
yeah. totally normal bro. i do and say stupid shit all the time on MDMA that i kinda regret the next day. fuck it though man, its not that big of a deal. you will be dead someday and all the stupid shit you said on M doesnt even matter anymore. i say fuck it! but yeah, everyone has a good point about rolling alone. its a bit more fun to roll with friends and talk with em an shit. i know what you mean for sure though man. i always call an ex GF or some girl i wanna fuck and say some stupid shit lol. im sure this happens to ALOT of people man. not to mention the comedown doesnt help you feel any better about the retarted shit you said the night before. totally normal bro. maybe try and hide your phone from yourself before you roll?

Hapomen22
04-07-2012, 21:07
That's so true, you don't have that little feeling that says: '' Wait a second, don't tell him/her this!'' You just go on and tell it like if it's completly normal haha.

Heck, I remember one night I found a chick with his bf, both very chill and friendly, i ended up telling em that i went to the bathroom, and that i had that little powder, put in water and drank it haha and that it was ecstasy.

Then there was that blond chick, gave me a hug asked her for another she said she charges... then i was like'' Ohhh ok, so you are a slut'' and went find other ppl to socialize with haha.

thizzlemonster86
04-07-2012, 21:49
That's so true, you don't have that little feeling that says: '' Wait a second, don't tell him/her this!'' You just go on and tell it like if it's completly normal haha.

Heck, I remember one night I found a chick with his bf, both very chill and friendly, i ended up telling em that i went to the bathroom, and that i had that little powder, put in water and drank it haha and that it was ecstasy.

Then there was that blond chick, gave me a hug asked her for another she said she charges... then i was like'' Ohhh ok, so you are a slut'' and went find other ppl to socialize with haha.

i think thats a prostitute................

2c-goinsane
04-07-2012, 22:33
i know many people that has done that myself included, its pretty common with mdma ime, i have also known individuals that shut up the whole time while rolling.

i have done some things i regret on mdma for sure, off the top of my head, plugging 1 mdma med tablet after i have already ate 4 orally, very bad i know. flushed mushrooms down the toilet. eat way more mdma than i should have. \


when i roll completely alone the urge to communicate with someone can be strong, just turn off your phone throw some music on and zone out. ime when i zone out and get really comfortable on mdma alone i can focus on it alot more, imo when i shut up and relax i can roll the hardest, different for everyone though.

thizzlemonster86
04-07-2012, 22:49
^^^^^^yeah i agree with 2c- in a way. when ur alone and you just lay in bed and zone out on some very LOUD trance/dub music i seem to roll harder in a way.

i think cause you can just sit and focus on it and your not distracted by whats going on all around you. i suggest some loud dubstep and just zone out on itunes visualizer is the BEST.

JJJames
05-07-2012, 10:46
I somehow thought it would be cool for my then girlfriend to full on french kiss my sister when we were all really high on MD at a rave a few years ago 8( . It was fucking weird.... plus yeah called tons of girls I hadn't spoken to for months and expressed my utter love for them... I don't do MD anymore..

Chesh
05-07-2012, 17:20
im too busy running around like a mad cunt making mandy friends and raving to send texts to people or go on facebook

thizzlemonster86
05-07-2012, 23:02
^^^^^^yeah pretty much.

jay12345
05-07-2012, 23:05
I try to keep my phone turned off so idont send texts that I will regret later

slackhands
05-07-2012, 23:25
Why don't u share with us what u wrote? Sorry I'm nosey. Maybe u should bring ur phone and computer to ur friends house when u roll so u can't get on em. I wouldn't worry bout it unless ur sending messages to ur best friends girl saying u wana sleep with her then I'd say u have a problem but mdma makes people open up and s
ay how they feel. Why not try taking it with another person


But it's also a stimulant which makes you say a load of rubbish. I don't like how powerful it is basically... I much preferred Mephedrone as you felt in complete control, like a Baws

Phat Gatmasta
06-07-2012, 02:56
Is it normal? I would say so. I have seen this many times in my life and have been a part of it as well.
What many don't accept is embrace. You can look back on the things you said and have done and feel dumb
but you can not live your life with regret dwelling inside of you. I bet you were honest, sweet, real and anything
and everything you could have possibly been and I bet you never felt so alive for a rare chance in your life.
Regardless of your outcomes and what others have thought of you because you have done so, negative or positive,
never hold back any words or any actions. Speak them. let it out. And I say this because the day will come
and you may never get the chance..... This will make you feel worse.

And all this is just how I see things.
I hope maybe this can brighten some things for you.

Embrace

-Aaron (Phat Gatmasta)

JJJames
09-07-2012, 04:53
I always write out a nice status for facebook, or a long text to someone I like. Luckily I always get to the end, re-read it and then just think to myself "i'll read it again in a couple of hours and decide if I want to send it".

This is exactly what to do, and when practised a bit it becomes easy. I learnt the lesson the hard way when in my teens i wanted to fuck this ex-girlfriend I hadn't seen in 6 or so months (cocaine fyi has a very strong sex effect on me like this) SO i texted small talk back and forth for a bit, then sent something like ' wanna come over and fuck really hard now' and got no response. 3 weeks later she was killed in that Asian Tsunami shit on holiday. fuck haven't told anyone that for a long time, killing my buzz.. but yeah remember



get to the end, re-read it and then just think to myself "i'll read it again in a couple of hours and decide if I want to send it".

Grondelduck
09-07-2012, 05:10
My entire circle of friends use various drugs on a regular basis, and familiars are familiar with molly at the very least. For that reason I don't feel regret about any of the overly lovely dovely hugging and talking behaviour I have shown, because I know the people I know have been in the same situation just as often as I have. Aside from that I am honest about my druguse, and not ashamed for it. I have had times when I wrote some drug-related/influenced messages on facebook, but then again, so have most of my friends so I don't worry about it. All in good nature though.

I'm sure there are quite some people who condemn my behaviour, but so be it. If I have to keep score of everybody's opinions and adjust my behaviour according to that I imagine I couldn't be comfortable with myself.

Short version: Don't worry too much about what other people might think, so you have less to regret.

edit: This regards molly only. About the bullshit I wrote and did on coke I have major regrets but I've accepted that and moved on from coke. I see no harm in a mdma-loved up message even if it were to my ex. The people I know and would text wouldn't hold it agains't me. Hell, I've had mates calling me at 4am waking me just to tell me how much they love me and the typical mdma talk. I think it's rather sweet I come to mind while rolling.

AxlCobain
09-07-2012, 19:12
I know how you feel. I get the same way and have come pretty close to making that mistake. However, I realize before hand that it is probably going to happen and tell myself it's a bad idea no matter how right it feels. Honestly though there is only 2 instances of me letting go and doing it anyway.

One involves my best friend for years and it had bugged the piss out of me that I didn't take a step up to the plate like he did. I felt I let him down and what made it worse is that I was to busy being a douche and stoned out of my mind constantly to make an effort to support him when he prolly needed it the most. We were rolling together and I just had to say it. I apologized and so forth. Actually it was a good thing cause he told me that I should t feel that way about it and that he was overall happy it went the way it did cause anything could have happened and he wouldn't have wanted to live with the consequences of a very possible worst case scenario.

Second, I very close lady friend of mine whom i had known for years and always loved just happens to call me not to long ago when I'm peaking. We have always been really close and there had always been a romance aslo but it was just never acted upon. I had already thought about calling her but didn't cause it's a bad idea. Well it felt like fate to me so I said fuck it all and let it all come out. Turns out it was probably the best thing I could have done. There are complications which will prolong things. It's not going to be an easy road to tread for me but I honestly think its gonna be worth it.

Moral of the story, don't do it. Chances are you will freak people out and lose friends BUT your true friends won't care and will probably be touched by the kind words and love your drowning them in. So maybe you should do it and to hell with the haters.

Synaptic Gap
09-07-2012, 20:27
I can remember a few parties where everyone was rolling and people just started hooking up with each other all night. One time I cheated on my gf with a good friend's girl. We actually thought we were in love so in our minds it was ok at the time. Needless to say the social implications were not pretty and I was still dealing with the drama a year later.

phatass
10-07-2012, 22:51
....

atara
10-07-2012, 23:32
I always figured that acting overly nice while rolling is a good thing. I can't think of many serious faux pas.


Last night I took a pretty high dose (200+ mg) of good crystals and ended up writing a long message to someone and I've been lying in bed all day regretting it. I actually haven't felt the typical "comedown" I sometimes get but the immense regrett after doing something stupid is probably worse.

So is this normal? Is there any way to stop doing it, I enjoy MDMA too much to give it up and it's not a huge deal, it just really ruins the experience. I've got a reply to my message but am too scared to open it, I can't even bring myself to re-read what I wrote but I have an idea. Arghh :( :(

You should do it while you're sober, too; that way it won't seem like such a big deal.

Paint Her
11-07-2012, 12:39
Guilty of texting & Facebook - texting not so bad because it is to really important people who I feel the need to tell that I love / care about & they think I am alcohol affected (not). Facebook I tend to write status that imply how happy / lucky I am so surely some think I am the happiest person they know ;)

However, my boyfriend wen he is rolling either (privately) calls me his wife, asks me to marry him & talks about the ring he will buy me, which of course at the time I believe every word - what's with that? :D <3

Flailing_Gypsy
12-07-2012, 07:17
That's very normal lol. Especially on MDMA... I can get like that on other drugs too, but I usually have the sense still to know its not the best idea to send those texts, emails, etc but with MDMA, it just feels sooooooo right... til the next day... then its awkward haha. I've gotten better at 'controling' myself now, but when I do MDMA now, I'm usually with friends and try to stay away from internet, my phone, etc. If you must send a confession or a 5 page love letter, try to stick to friends who also do MDMA and understand haha. The thing is too, is that even though its sometimes awkward, sometimes opening yourself up like that is a GOOD thing and can be very healing... you just gotta be careful who you open up to about such personal things. Even though it feels like you can trust anybody when you're on M, you can't. A few years ago when I rolled on some incredible green transformers (one of the best nights of my life aahh), I wanted so badly to go talk to my mom and tell her all this stuff but thaaaank goodness I didn't. I realized that even though it felt so right for me, for my mom, who doesn't understand MDMA, it would have been really uncomfortable for her daughter to approach her, really high on drugs. She wasn't operating on the same 'level' of consciousness I was and she wouldn't have understood. So, I would just keep in mind how that other person might feel about it. And... only send messages to people who you can at least be honest with that you're high... otherwise people are going to probably think you're unbalanced haha.

"I always write out a nice status for facebook, or a long text to someone I like. Luckily I always get to the end, re-read it and then just think to myself "i'll read it again in a couple of hours and decide if I want to send it". ~ That is such great advice. I try to remember that I don't need to send my text, fb message, etc right that second. Sometimes just writing it out is enough of a release and you can decide whether to send it or not later on.

But yeah, you're definitely perfectly normal. I've sent some awkward e-tarded emails in my day. Now I try to focus on the people Im with, and if I really feel the need to write or text someone, I try not to do it while I'm peaking and really high, unless its one of my close friends who also roll and know how it is haha.

intensecycle
13-07-2012, 22:51
Be happy you don't have this shit going on permanently, like I do :-)

darcha22
14-07-2012, 00:10
yeh did a few mcdonalds E, Think about 3 of them. Met a girl and the rest is bad news

hahaaha - I regret it now. Its great stuff for the love buzz but man you dont want the love going to the wrong person or you are fucked

sheekle
18-08-2012, 06:13
i'venever done mdma but one time on acid i sent a longass message to some girl that i regretted later but we hang out all the time now and its all cool so i guess its straight



and one time on 25i i sent some longass message to this kid explaining why i didnt wanna be friends with him anymore. he was a real douchebag and i worded it so perfectly i dont really regret that one too much, cuz i used to chill with him all the time but stopped and just sstarted ignoring his calls the 25i made me feel bad and i wrote this perfectly worded message that would have forcedhim to reflect on his life while still coming off as being self-less and loving so he wasn't able to try and bash me and defend himself


it was perfect, a good thing in the world

Cupcakees
18-08-2012, 07:31
I guess I should give you all a little info on me. I first did E when i was 15, did it about 15 times my whole life. (cant do it now because I take Prozac.. Serotonin Syndromes a bitch) but anyway, I have done some of those regretful things. I let my best MALE friend (i'm a female) give me a massage for 4 hours. No sexual shit, but looking back thats creepy as shit. I also sent a text message to my mom telling her how much i loved her.. my poor mother. Normally she would have been happy... but this was at 4 oclock in the morning on a school night when I was supposed to be in my bedroom sleeping.

Lapses in Judgement!

Chemicalblood
19-08-2012, 02:28
I usually roll with a friend and we switch phones so we don't end up texting our parents or something, which I've had the urge to do before. I can't stop what I say to people on Mandy, it's just really quick jabbering on about how much I love my friends etc. It's embarrassing, but people usually understand it happens when you're rolling.

DubNaut
19-08-2012, 02:38
well i sorta am uneasy about how i treated someone who is naive to the culture
holding hands, kissing, messages etc all part of the experience to me,
considering we where out in a park not a club or something

but i can't help but i feel i may have toyed with an emotionally unstable individual :c

StrutterGear
19-08-2012, 23:51
Phonecalls, deep conversations, deep secrets, and always always always buying more and taking too much. Everytime I get it on I decide I dont wana the night to end at get some more. No such thing as a budget for the night with mandy involved.

laugh
20-08-2012, 06:28
the following 3 days i often regret re dosing for the umpteenth time...

Ho-Chi-Minh
20-08-2012, 06:44
Any drug with empathogenic potential puts one at risk for being taken advantage of by some of the less enlightened beings that inhabit the world.

masterdome
23-08-2012, 06:18
Last time i rolled with my boyfriend he updated his facebook with this "What happened to the molly? We dropped it" I was really embarrassed and had to yell at him during the come up on a very roll.

js112
23-08-2012, 18:48
Last time i rolled with my boyfriend he updated his facebook with this "What happened to the molly? We dropped it" I was really embarrassed and had to yell at him during the come up on a very roll.

MDMA makes person honest, he was just being honest;)

js112
23-08-2012, 18:50
I have this problem aswell that I will start texting my close friend how i love my ex etc......
And even weird that I will be taking to people about the same problem who i made friends in the club and see them regularly.
Later on I regret very badly ! :!