Funniest paranoid situations

Have you eva been in a situation where sum 1 started freakin out over something so stupid coz they wer pingin a bit 2 hard lol? This should be pretty good for a laugh.

Well this ones actually about me. Over the period of two weeksthis was.

Now it all started with a night on sum wonderful red hearts, towards the end of the night i was gettin sum pretty awesome hallicinations. But i also noticed two slightly out of placed fella's that over the last hour or so had been playin with there mobies, they didnt particualy concern me aat the time, but then i noticed this new fella who had only appeared in our crew over the last 1 or so(who was saying he needed to have 10 tabs a nite to be pinging over and over again) going over and talkin to them... This is when i was gettin paranoid, and this is the first time ive ever been paranoid... And as I would have done my friends just told me i was skitzing out and just chill dont wanna hear your shit... and so i did after taking a photo of these fellas.

The next week i just had decided to drink, we were all at the same club. (the start of the night i was warned dont skitz out like that again8( pretty understandable)bout 3:30 in the morning the 2 fellas from last week were back leaning against the wall cept this time with bout 3other fella's and one chicky. I was pissed so i had no worries in the world. I had just gotten up to get me a drink. I had just gotten back and noticed 6 ppl surround my seats with blinding bright flashlights on my mates eyes as they were one by one being searched. As two of my friends being dragged out of the club because they were in possession of ONE entire tablet each (Ha police inteligence).. And just as anyone would, i just had to rub it in that the one time i was paranoid, i was right!

Then again this was also a bit of luck THIS MEANS I STILL DONT LIKE Paranoid PPL
Peace out

After being awake for ten days, (I was told it was two weeks but I lost those four days) I accidently locked myself in my mates unit.
I had lost a fair bit of weight by this stage and my veins were very prominent. For some reason I thought the veins were bruises or something and that was caused because I was poisoned.
A few hours later a mate came back to find me bawling my eyes out screaming that I poisoned and I did'nt know what to do.
He did.
He gave me more meth.
He left for work again after showing me that it was actually possible to get out of the unit.
2 hours later.
I was ok by this stage, a few people had come over and we were just chatting away when all of a sudden another fellow came storming into the unit.
He was convinced that there were Feds in the garden outside of the unit. I think he said in the trees, I can't really remember.
After about 15 minutes of completely freaking us out he finally convinced us that it was possible the house was being watched so we did what any normal paranoid group of people would do.
We packed up our stash and headed for the nearest motel.
About 4 hours into our freak out we realised that the house probably was'nt being watched and we had just wasted a fair bit of money for no reason

Ahhh the joys of psychosis.

Me and my boyfriend gave his cousin his first pill. You know how some people take to it like a fish to water, and some just seem, well weird? He seemed a bit odd, but was having fun, but then my boyfriend (who can tend to be a bit over paranoid) grabs me and pulls me aside and tells me this theory that he;s afraid K is going to sexually harass my friend, who was also with us.

I was off my face, and I tried to talk him out of the idea, but he ended up convincing me that K was dangerous. He got me to distract him, and ran around the house, and gathered up every knife, pair of sissors, pen, stick and any sharp implement he could find, convinced K was going to kill us. HIS BLOODY HARMLESS YOUNGER COUSIN!!

Then he lures him into the spare bedroom saying he wanted to show him something, and slams the door on him, and blocks the door with a table and 3 chairs all stacked up.

We ended up going to bed, and could hardly breath we were listening so hard to see if he was coming to get us.

In the morning we wake up, with this mountain of sharp shit next to our bed, K was still in the room thinking what the fuck happened here... he was fine, we were fine, my friend was fine, and didnt even know any of this had gone on (we tend to act like secret agents when on a mission) and the whole situation seemed crazy.

Having said that, i will still never take drugs with K again... just in case!!!

At least you didn't decide to kill him before he killed you first. When you think about it, that situation was pretty close to the edge!

Sure makes for a good story though...

^^^ Come off it, we were a bit messy but we are vegatarians for gods sake!

Lovers not killers my friend!

My wacked out story started after a big night out on the pills in town. 4 of us had just gotten back to a mates place at about 3 in the morning and I ask anyone if they were up for a bit of acid and one mate said yes so we had 2 blotters each of what I liked to call Death Stars (Black Stars or dots of 2001) because they were strong as hell and were white with a black dot in the middle. After a hour had past a couple of mates who abuse the meth constantly and drive about all day and night had arrived and my trip was beginning to take hold, after another hour had past the guys who had rocked up had to go and asked me if I wanted to come for a drive so I did. I was sitting in the front of this old brown sigma which had a disposable bin for 10,000 needles (Large Yellow bin) right in the middle of it and at the time didn't realise that it had no exhaust on it but the car was as loud as the cars at the drags if not louder, so we were going down the main street of my area wich is built up quite a bit at 5 in the morning with this shit bucket of a car and my mate is building up speed up to 80km\h in third because the 4th gear doesn't work, then he drops it back to 2nd and gets it going to 100km\h which is the fasted it could go because it was the most thrashed car ever I was calling it the car straight outa hell and at this time I was laughing so hard because the car would have woken up the whole neighborhood it was like a never ending explosion and shourly would have attracted the cops (this guy is VERY well known with them). He dropped his mate off and we headed back to the house and this whole time I was laughing my head off and couldn't stop. When we got back I found my mate in the garden thinking that he had found the doorway to heaven (simply because the sun had risen and he didn't realise it at the time) so we take him back inside back to earth again and had a few bongs, then our mate with the car was going to the servo for some food and fuel and asked me and the other mate tripping to come along. This time I was in the back sitting next to this big black rusty thing which took me a couple of minutes to realise that it was the exhaust of the car and from that point onward i knew why the car was the loudest thing I had ever been in and I was laughing even harder than before, when we got to the servo the attendant was looking at us weird like (probably because of the loudness) while my mate was filling up and I was starting to get a weird vibe like something wasn't right. The mate went in and payed his money and when he came out he he found quite a big bag of weed (about 8 grams) just out side the car and he showed it to us then I started to freak real bad because the attendant came out the front door and I thought he was doing some type of signals to the bush in the distance and I was thinking it was a set up with the cops to get my friend in trouble and I said "shit, go get the fuck out of hear the cops are coming" but no one gave a shit and they said "dude you're just trippin". We left and went around the corner and there was a park with a large grass and dirt car park and the mate started doing burnouts and donuts just to freak me out even more and by this time I defanetly thought the cops were on to us and I hit the guy in the head and said "fuck man we're all going to jail if we don't get back home" so we started to head back home and by this time heaps of other people were about driving and going to work and everyone was looking at us with this evil look about them (Like they hade just figured out who had woke them up so early) and I forgot about the police and started laughing again and said "now everyone is after you, you woke them all up, hurry up we gotta get the bloody hell outa hear". We got back and I sat at the table in a catatonic state for a few hours and I didn't answer to anybody with a lot of yahoo visuals going on around me and continuously thinking about the car ride from hell and how this whole thing could have happened and am I going to prison, I was stuck in a continuous loop of thought which would not go. That is probably the most paranoid I have ever gotten, but in the end I thought it was so damn funny,

nice paragraphing wobbles,

Yeah I like it as well it just stands out from the rest doesn't it. I hope more people can comment on this

I was one of the crappiest people in english at school but I never really cared as my job (i'm a truck driver at the docs in Brisbane) and how I live my life doesn't rely on me to put spaces in between every single sentence. At least it isn't swahili or something like this ÃßÏ ãÓÄæá ÚÑÇÞí ÑÝíÚ ÇÎÊÑÇÞ ÇáÚäÇÕÑ ÇáãÓáÍÉ æ"ÅÑåÇÈíä" áÃÌåÒÉ ÇáÃãä ÚãæãÇð æÇáÔÑØÉ (I have no idea what this says)

I bumped into a really old friend at a Club, he was a few years older than me. Him and his friend were chatting dodgily, and at first i though yah hes still the same old guy... then all of a sudden i was like.. " OMMGGGG HES A COP " yes silly old me..... fully started giving him the cold shoulder and im sure he could pick up on me... hehehehe I was high as a kite and i figured he was out to make me admit i was trashed and take me away....

Turns out i was just being paranoid about.. NOTHING

listening to a scanner about 4 weeks ago, they had a missing 3 year old and as you could imagine police were out in force in that suburb and they
bought in Pol Air to help search. Anyway about an hour into the search they had a call from a local resident saying that they had a guy in his 20's cowering in there backyard under one of there trees crying and mumbling to them that "there after me don't let them find me "
One paranoid dude or what!!!! must have thought it was a cropperspotter maybe?

I Think it might be time for a break !?!!?!!

I'll keep it short and simple..............

Back in like 2000/2001 my friends and would ALWAYS comedown back at my pad (dad was working away), so after a certain LARGE night out "we" arrived back at my place and I went for a shower etc. I then emerge from the bathroom 'So fresh and so clean, clean' and proceed to get the music sorted (as per usual) flicking through tracks and chatting away to my "two mates lying on the couch".

About 15 minutes have passed when I realised they are not returning the conversation so I turn round to make some smart-arse remark and find an EMPTY ROOM !!!

I instantly drop the volume and shout out a couple of times before going on a wander outside looking for my mates who I presumed were smoking a bong somewhere. After checking my whole house a sit down head in hands and by this time was thinking WTF ??!!!?? 8(

I get on the blower and call J**** and when he picks up he is like "O where did you get to I couldn't find you once we left S**** place" !!????

It starts coming back to me in a blurry haze ............ I got a friend to pick me up and drop me off home when I couldn't find the guys, the conversation I had for 15 whole minutes took place between Me, Myself and Percy my Alternate Personality

I had a 7 month break form that point on.
I truly thought I had lost my mind !!!!!!!!!!

Stay Safe

h@ndo

Wobbled said:

Yeah I like it as well it just stands out from the rest doesn't it. I hope more people can comment on this

I was one of the crappiest people in english at school but I never really cared as my job (i'm a truck driver at the docs in Brisbane) and how I live my life doesn't rely on me to put spaces in between every single sentence. At least it isn't swahili or something like this ÃßÏ ãÓÄæá ÚÑÇÞí ÑÝíÚ ÇÎÊÑÇÞ ÇáÚäÇÕÑ ÇáãÓáÍÉ æ"ÅÑåÇÈíä" áÃÌåÒÉ ÇáÃãä ÚãæãÇð æÇáÔÑØÉ (I have no idea what this says)

Click to expand...

See this ^^^ it's paragraphing, not so hard after all eh didn't even know you did it did ya

I have the wildest paranoid story. It involves my ex girlfriend whom I've document many a time in SLR about her insanity and a new years party and, copious amounts of drugs, a plane ride and two different states.

First of all it happened about 2 years ago in the pinnacle of my drug use, me and my two roomates at the time decided we'd do our own fear & loathing style drug binge at new years, so each week, we stashed a pill each, or a few points of whizz etc. The final tally in our stash was around 80 pills of different logo and colour and a half ball of varied meth and speed. In addition to this we bought another 8 ball on NYE. It was like a lolly shop.

Anyway NYE was pretty tame, had drinks and did the countdown at our place with some mates went to bed around 4 then woke up and had breaky and 4 massive lines each at around 10, then went to perth cup, drank, did more lines and ate our first pills for the trip, double dropped actually...


The night that ensued was pretty wild, living close to the racecourse, it was a forgone conclusion that everyone was going back to ours....

Long story short, after about 4 days, and a few top ups on the goey me and the girl decided to get stoned and knock ourselves out for some rest, we got fucken stoned, really really stoned and went back to her place, she had a shower I twitched on the couch try to make sense of the tele...

Then the Fear kicked in, I watched her drying her hair in the bathroom and became convinced that she was cleaning a gun to shoot me, so with this thought in mind I took off. I told her I was going to get beers from the bottlo, but i really went to the airport, and booked a flight for adelaide where my folks live and went straight there, then once on the ground in adelaide I realised I was in no state to see my folks, so I got a taxi to glenelg bech, stripped to my boxers and had a swim and chilled out at the beach.

I then went to go home and reality kicked back in and I realised I was in adelaide, coming down like fuck, with no where to go, then I started crying...and got a plane home again....

sometimes when i read threads like this i feel like i'm going crazy.

does that count?

HAHAHAHA.... best story yet swifty.
I especially like the bit where you booked a ticket to adelaide. I can imagine the look on the ticket vendors face

The worst part was realising I'd spent 1000 on airfares to escape my own paranoia....

I got paranoid about my ex b/fs ex g/f - I thought I'd been talking to her in the bathroom, and I came out of the bathroom absolutely convinced he had sent her to watch what I was doing that night. I don't know how I came to such a conclusion since we didn't even know til 10 minutes before we got there we were going to that particular club ourselves, and she lived in another state from the club, but yeah.....

I even kept looking all around the dance floor for her for awhile til my friends convinced me she wasn't there, I'd been talking to someone else in the bathroom!


A paranoid moment of a friend of mine on her second ever pill- she was paranoid about the fact she'd come up before her boyfriend, and her b/f would be cranky and dump her. I spent 10 minutes in the bathroom consoling her that it WASN'T going to happen. Thank god for the text message she received from him while in the bathroom that said: "where the hell are you, I am flying, stop being girls in the bathroom!"

swifty, you're a gem.

My friends and I got so sick of paranoid freaks hanging around our place that we told them there were cameras in the bushes out front. This stopped working after a while so we pulled the lenses and what-have-you out of a couple of old disposable cameras and rigged them up accordingly

The same technique worked really damn effectively for an day club in my city which had a major bikie problem - management bought one of those fake surveillance cameras and stuck it in the upstairs window of the amusement parlour opposite. Voila - no more bikies, but no more dealers either (which meant no more day club - nuts!)

All my other paranoia stories are too scary/creepy to share. That's what you get for being friends who have stay-awake contests for fun

This year New Years Eve time...
A very close mate had been for the past month consuming a lot of substances, namely speed, it came to NYE and we were all heading to a big festival in the south of the state, which he did not manage to get a ticket to, so he hitched a ride down but just stayed in Hobart to party the night away.
He was partying happily until about 11.30pm, when he freaked out over absolutely nothing, charged out of the club they were in and cought a cab.... all the way up to launceston, $320 later he arrived in Launceston with 3 pages of notes scribbled about how cars were following him and their liscence plate numbers ect.
When we got back up to launceston i went and picked him up with a mate who was driving to bring him to the house we were at.
On the journey up there any car that was anywhere near us for more than 20 seconds or so was a possible cop car, and by the end of the 20 minute journey he had everyone in the car as certain that cops were surrounding us as he had himself, not a good situation, was quite scary haha.
All ended up good tho, and he is quite OK now

Well i have one story.

First some info so you understand; My bedroom window faces the front of my house, so if you open the curtans you can see the entire front yard.

On with the story!
My dad had gone out and i had had a rather stressful day, so i decided to get stoned.
So there i am sitting in my room with my pipe, blowing the smoke out the window. Suddenly i hear my neibour say "Bye R*****" (R***** being my dads name). Anyway i convinced myself that i was just paranoid and it was nothing. So i took another cone and was blowing the smoke out of the window when i actually decided to look outside and to my suprise my dad is actually standing right there! right outside my window but with his back turned to me. I freaked, in a mad rush i packed away my pipe and whatnot so afraid he had caught me.
Then i ran onto the computer and just tried to look busy
He came back in the house.
Came over to me, and said........
"Do you know where my reading glasses are?"
I pointed over to the where they were, he took them and left.

Scariest moment of my life!