I need help... should I try smack?

hi all

Where to start? Well I am scattered now and need to figure out a solution.

This is probably the wrong forum to post, but i dunno what to do.

I am constantly wanting to try smack. Probably snort it for the first time. But IV seems to be more effective..

I suffer from severe depression, on Mirtazapine 45 mG add to that my codiene habit of approx 300mg, valium (diazepam) and alcohol, 1 bottle of white wine to myself tonight, AS WELL .. I have been using codiene for about a year now, and all kinds of antidepressants, and it really does nothing much to help me ...

yes.. I have seen a Psych,. who done nothing for me.. I am so fed up with my time here on earth.

I got some idea that I would like see how smack could help me, (OK, I know it is highly addictive).. so was thinking of just trying some 2 night, or tomorrow. I GET SO FUCKIN DOWN, I AM NEEDING A STRONG RELEASE FROM IT ALL.

I wanna de away from my problems, and get help, but no one seems to be able to understand!!!!! it has got me to the point of breaking down every night, and i DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE IS LEFT FOT ME IN LIFE.. I such a waste of everyones time... this post proves it ...

HELPVME PLEASE... SOMEONE..

Oh I feel so worthless..

U poor thing. I know what thats like. I have bi-polar but luckily enough have snapped out of it with some psychologist trips & good moral support from my guy. I think that you have been so smart to ask here 1st before trying 'smack'. My answer is obviously NO. Someone like you doesnt need to put themselves thru that. There is ALWAYS another way out. ALWAYS. U might need an attitude adjustment to help get u off the ground. Please keep trying shrinks & dr's. I think & hope that in time you will find what u need But i can assure you that doin that wont help you at all. I hope you get better. x

Any drug can be used responsibly, but if you take heroin you will wish you never did. By self medicating it may temporarily help you feel at ease with your problems, but you are not solving any of the real issues and in the long term you will wish you never touched it. Anyone with a tendency to self medicate or use drugs to escape their problems should never go near heroin because that is the exact personality that will become addicted. Heroin is not an answer, a psychologist/psychiatrist/doctor is. You need to address the issues, not supress them.

Smack won't help, it'll just mask the real problems and you'll end up dead. And I'm not saying that in the "everyone who uses smack will die" scaremongering sense either, because I'm sure in the right hands it can be used quite safely. But given your post, I can't imagine anything but bad things happening. I'd urge you to reconsider using heroin at this point.

I've been depressed before to a certain extent, not that that makes me wise about your situation really but I can at least sort of sympathise. And I know in your state of mind you're not going to believe me, but things can get better. You need people, not drugs. Start here on bluelight - people are always willing to listen.

^ thanks fo your repsonses.. I have just really lost it tonight, like I can't control myself and what I think or do .. I can't even hardly remember posting that here. however your responses are somewhat helpful. i can't thank you all enough.

I can't seem to stop crying, but when I do I feel better anyway. I have been trying to cope with this for more than 2 years now, seeing differnent docs, psyches and trying all the SSRI's, benzos, opiates etc. I have calmed down a little now (after 40mg Diazepam), having read you guys posts, I don't have many people in my life I can even talk to about all this. Not even my family..And I am seeming to loose the one best friend I ever had

Cowboy Macs response seems to be what I think " Any drug can be used responsibly, but if you take heroin you will never wish you did". But, I still don't know? as I said, I could care less about being here and so I am so fed up with my time here ... does it even matter?

I guess I posted for a reason.. looking for help, advice and answeres. I don't know how much of this made any sense to you all by the way? My father is a reovering alcohoic and I know it could be in my genes.. .he admitted to me he delt with his depression through the bottle. He now is getting better, although I hae not visited or seen my family for 2 years. Why did I even post all that nonsense for? ahhhh I better try and get some rest....

Your going to use it to escape so you have fuck all chance of getting off it, but I'm guessing in your state of mind the future doesn't matter. It's going to help you out if you have ALOT of money.

okay, go visit the junkies in what ever state/territory your in, see if their not misserable, and the lives they lead because they feel they must put heroin first! Phsyical addiction hurts not just you, but those around you.. be smart

have you tried MDMA in the company and music of a good group? its being tried out for clinical depression, just use it responsibly and it wont make it worse. btw u cant dose all the time it doesnt work that way

Originally posted by crappybones
have you tried MDMA in the company and music of a good group? its being tried out for clinical depression,just use it responsibly and it wont make it worse. btw u cant dose all the time it doesnt work that way

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That is potentially dangerous advice. As far as I know MDMA is being trialled for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and not depression. Even if it was to be trialled for depression it would be conducted in a controlled environment with medical staff on hand and with psychologists/psychiatrists using it to conduct psychotherapy. Advising someone saying "it won't make it worse" is untrue, MDMA depletes serotonin and can induce states of temporary depression in otherwise healthy people, let alone someone suffering from depression - no drug is safe. MDMA could make it worse; he needs to stop medicating with illcit substances and treat the causes that makes him feel he needs drugs to escape.

crappybones; probably the last thing this guy needs is further fluctuation in serotinin levels, which MDMA does cause, in fact taking MDMA is definately not a good idea.

Smoke blow; I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time, my sister has depression and although i don't suffer from it, I know that it can be really hard sometimes. My advicewould be to keep on taking the SSRI's and see a psychologist regularly, alos talk to your friends about your problems. Your not a waste of space or anyone elses time, there are no doubt people who care for alot and would greatly miss you if you did something to hurt yourself 9which includes using smack). Its better to express the problems and feelings you are having in some way, even writing them done will be threapeutic.
My adivce would be if you can lay back on the drugs, prticuarly the vlium, codeine and alcohol because they will just make you feel more depressed and they are addictive - slowly cut down, and hopefully you'll be able to cope without them.
As for trying heroin- well, it won't help you feel better after a while. The benzos, opiates and alcohol probably made you feel good for a little while but probably don't anymore, heroin will be the same, it will just create one more problem for you to deal with (and a big problem at that).
Take care of yourself

crappybones said:

have you tried MDMA in the company and music of a good group? its being tried out for clinical depression, just use it responsibly and it wont make it worse. btw u cant dose all the time it doesnt work that way

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i can say from personal experience that whilst that is well-meaning advice, it's a terrible idea.
I suffer from chronic depression and have been taking a host of SSRIs for years. Only in the last year have I begun taking ecstasy, and as much as I adore the feeling that only a clean MDMA hit can give me (although it's not as intense due to the SSRIs), dropping ultimately makes it more difficult to get my life together.
a massive comedown is the last thing someone who is already suicidal needs.

I have never, and will never, use heroin; but I can only assume the feeling of coming down would be 100 times worse than a couple of days after MDMA.

keep safe smokeblow. i'm sorry i don't have any more useful advice, but don't forget there are people out there who give a fuck; i know i'm one of them.

Don't do smack. Don't do any more drugs, the drug consumption patterns you have described in this thread sounds like you would be an abuser not a user. Exercise everyday (20mins+ [run/walk/swim whatever]). Change your diet to include plenty of fresh fruit/veg. Discover spirituality if you are fed up with the cycle capitalism/consumptuon, go and visit churches and other religious organisations around your area and see if you can find a connection anywhere there. More drugs are not the answer, and heroin will only make you situation worse.

if you want to PM me, please do. I'll be happy to talk to you.

alrite, firstly get a hobby. stop taking drugs for now! u needa call some old friends go meet up with some ppl and try not to be alone. most importantly dont become a fckn junkie. if u have any friends who r junkies fuck em off now. they wont do u any good. junkies would kill their best friend for a fckn hit. dont be an idiot, lay off the drugs and booze for a while get ur life str8 and then try having it every now and then socially! youll find urself saving alot of money 2!

Like peeker said I would suggest that you stop medicating yourself immediatly. Stop the alcohol, codeine etc and only take ANY DRUG OF ANY KIND if perscribed by a doctor. I would definately see some kind of psycologist and or psychiatrist. "Shop around" if you need to - find a doctor that you are complely comfortable with and then stick with them, even if sometimes you don't feel that you are making any progress. Remember that you are not weak for seeking help. It takes guts to try to do something about yourself and in the end you will how you are a stronger person for doing it.

I'm not a psychologist but I think it would be a good idea for you to try and work out some long term goals. Starting off small and working up to something big. Is there a dream that you had when u were younger that you havn't accomplished yet? Your doctor may be able to help you work out a long term strategy to achieve things like this and along the way you'll learn that life really is worth living and that you really are a valued member of society.

If your relationship with your family is good perhaps a visit is long overdue and the family can offer you extra support in your quest. I know what your going through as I was once suicidal. Perhaps not to the same extent as you but a psychologist really helped with me. I was perscriped anti-depressants by a doctor and found they didn't really do anything. I stopped taking them and a psychologist did all of the things I mentioned above with me and I glad he did.

I don't think I need to mention, smack is not the answer. The reasoning why is fairly well covered above.

Hope this helps,

Nice Tits

No. Don't try smack. Don't try smack ever.

I've tried smack and I wish I never had...not because I became an addict...I never got addicted, but that's because I stopped using it before that happened, and also, importantly, I never shot up.

Seriously, smack is fucken addictive. You are in absolutely the worst situation for avoiding addictive drugs like heroin, because heroin will make all of your problems irrelevant. It will seem like a solution for a while, even if you don't intend to self-medicate for depression using it.

Think about the risk you are taking. Heroin might be enjoyable for a while, but is getting high worth risking becoming a junkie? Once you are a junkie you are fucked...quitting heroin is hard...once you're a junky you're going to find it very difficult to give up smack, and if you do then you are an ex-junky for the rest of your life, on top of all the other issues you have.

I wish I'd never tried heroin, because now I've tried heroin and I can never change that. I know what it feels like and there's always the chance that I might go back to it and fuck myself up. You might start out never intending to shoot up and only snort, but as you use it more and more shooting up will seem like less and less of an alien activity and more and more something that seems reasonable to do. That's what happened to me and that's when I was hit by a reality check from above in the form of "Shooting up heroin? What the fuck am I thinking? How did I get so far into drugs that I'm seriously considering SHOOTING UP HEROIN?"

Seriously. Shooting up heroin man? Heroin is not going to improve your life.

I do understand that taking mdma at clubs wont help you. The environment their is all about increased sensory perception (getting high). But, if you plan a time with one informed person, in a calm isolated environment and make a plan to talk about goals, future and spirituality, a small dosage of mdma can go a long way. Especialy if your depression is not clinical depression and especialy if you have never taken mdma before. I do beleive that first 3 times you take mdma (spaced out within many months) can be so powerfull psychologically that nearly anything is possible.

Here is a link to one of many accounts to show what im saying is possible: http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=8424

It also has helped my g/f. But remember, only mdma nothing else. No more than one session every 2 months for 6 months. And if you feel a major shift in your perception of life in your first session, dont do it again, if you dont have to.

On the other hand, if your depression is clinical, import some 5-htp from the states, its worth a try at least.

Maybe you could start by having a healthier lifestyle then you may end up with a healthier mind. A start would be stop any intake of depressants such as alcohol.

ok. since Friday, I have had my last dose of benzos and codeine. I gave in to alcohol last night though and friend left me a couple of bottles. or should be
I have done this before, felt the same pain before in my body (and mind), but now it only seems worse. "No pain, no gain" is the saying. I hope that is correct! I want to crawl up into a ball and just fade away...

Drugs of any kind are never a solution, never an escape tool. Get that mentality out of your head and you'll be a wiser and happier man for it.

Struggle through it smokeblow. You know you're doing it for a good reason and you'll feel a hell of a lot better when you're out the other side. There are lots of Bluelighters here who can share their experiences if you're finding it tough, The Dark Side is great for that.