I have one (lots really)- true story.
When...you are all unexpectedly ejected from a "yard" at 10 pm Sunday night.
On say,..8 proper Mitsubishis...and a rare and sizeable insufflation of heroin...because of "crackhead" dramas...
You try to ride bicycle home.
You know you are rolling each time you reach one side of the road and wake up handlebar leaning on a car, cycle, repeat, at diagnonals the whole road leading to the river...
Which you have the sense to walk alongside, not ride, to the bridge.
Then, when you are crossing the river bridge in dark at 10.40 pm ish...you make the error of looking over at the dark night water below...
And suddenly you see BREAM everywhere! (As in, plural)..
Basically, if not before, by that point, on some level anyway, you know you're FUCKED! And a way from home still.
When that is the last thing you recall...until about 6 hours later, waking to for a mere moment from the splash more than anything, to just climb out of the river you have sleepwalked into...
To carry ON sleepwalking...until- 6.30 am, warm sunny morning, and for that time quite a lot of people around...and the policeman's voice snaps your sleepwalking hallucinating arse to with an "are you alright mate" after a morning jogger reported you 20 minutes prior dangling unconsciously over the bridge you find yourself upon waking, walkng back towards...
Now as if all of that wasn't enough, when....
Upon being alerted back into your body, and only 5 seconds thought...(Police...bridge....sunny....warm....BIKE! BAG! WALLET! Home! Work!
And it feels like forever has shot by. Lots of people about...look at watch- 6.30!
Gotta be 6.30 pm surely!)
In those 5 seconds. And answer the copper on the spur of the moment, without any thought or hesitation, word for word exactly this...
"I came down in the afternoon and fell asleep on the bench. When I woke up somebody had stolen my bag and bike..."
Then, when the coppers look at each other and pne says..."he's out of his head isn't he?"
And you twig it's actually 6.30 a.m. and think Whoops!
So without any thought you produce, again word for word..."I spend a lot of time (get this bit lol)- Reconceptualising (what a word too huh?) down by the river at night!"
When the police won't assist you looking for your wallet, bag and bike but insist on kindly driving you home safely....
True story. Just one.