• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

xxxyyy i love u, rip m dear friend...

Ill never forget you Julian. Even when times were rough, somehow those times only strengthened our everlasting friendship. I wish you would have cut your hair like I always teased you about, but ill never forget you.

I will tell all of you how this Man lived. He lived with purpose. Determination. He came from a very suffocating environment and like me, had a very rough childhood and adolescence and teenage years that just even in adulthood continued to hold us down, but we fought back so hard. We fought a good fight. I will continue to fight our fight in loving memory, Julian will never be forgotten and his place in my heart will forever live alongside me. He lost his mother to cancer at a young age and had it so much worse than me. Julian was depressed like me. He was a light that shined so bright and reminded me of my personal quote "Sometimes the brightest of lights shine from the darkest of places." Julian was one of the brightest lights, minds, soul and body that I ever have met and had the chance to get to know him.

You and I wanted so much to experience unconditional love. You came closer to it than I ever have. Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. We walked a boulevard of broken dreams, we self medicated similarly. Your poison wasnt methamphetamine but alcohol. Benzodiazepines. We shared a love for guns. I will never forget the years we spent on AIM and the many plans for the future that included us both. It hurts me to think that they will never come to be. But I'm going to continue to fight. For us. For you. For everything that you loved. We hated eachothers music, and I remember how we would recall the first time we ever spoke and I told you that I hated your guts and that we truly built such a huge friendship from absolutely nothing, below the ground to the skyscraper we built.

He lived. He loved. He lost.

I will never forget you brother.
 
RIP! I had extensive contact with him over the last two years and was seemingly on the up and up. To the female bl'ers that i suspect pushed him over the edge, I hope you take this seriously and contemplate the situation. He was suicidal over the years but Julien was a great person once you got to know him. I hope he found eternal peace-his life was filled with both interior and exterior conflict, but said he was feeling like a new man ready to settle in a new continent(US)

Rest In Peace my friend.
 
This is the most tragic loss to anyone who knew him...we loved each other dearly( snip)..I'll forever be grieving the loss of my friend...thank u everyone for the kind word for this great man...I love u Julio...
 
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No fucking way ! We just became friends a few month ago through bl because we are both from germany and we had plans to meet each other, then we lost contact about 3 weeks ago and now this :( I thought he was doing well now :/ how did he die, if I got the right to ask ? RIP my friend <3, I wish we had have more contact
 
rest in peace. Didn't know xxxyyy personally but fuck all if I didn't notice one of his last posts a few days ago on a 'drug culture' thread called 'how high are you? v. all the tiny pupils' where he listed around 8 different substances he was imbibing including wine and a lot of smack and crack...and I just thought 'shit...that's actually enough shit to be possibly lethal'...well...fuck...wish I could've helped though anonymous...
 
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I never spoke to him personally, but have read many of his posts. Very sad thing indeed. :(

Rest In Peace
 
Fuckin Fuck..RIP Julian, i hope you're in a better place now..and you find the love that was missing from your life...I'll just keep and read your PM's...
Julian suffered a lot in this fuckin life...i just hope God will give you the love you missed here...
Fuck me x, why the fuck???



MartinFn
 
Terrible news. My thoughts go out to his family and friends.
 
God dammit I miss you so much, I play your In Loving Memory video every single day, the most viewed file in my media library.

I will NEVER forget you, my dearest friend. What I wouldn't do to hear your voice one more time....

Eternal Love, your Eternal best friend.

"It can't be fixed, It's beyond repair, It's in a million pieces."
 
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