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Xanax Dependency Question

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DP6000

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 15, 2012
Messages
24
Hello there bluelight . Feel free to move this if it doesnt belong

I know there are lots of threads on xanax dependency but my situation is unique as is everyones and I had a specific question as well .

So . A couple years back I had a messy love affair with cocaine . She is as cold hearted as she is beautiful . Anyway after about 6 months of everyday all day irresponsibility I feel I permanently dicked my dopamine system . Prohibitive anxiety in all aspects of life, depression and this crippling "reverse aggression." Which is hard to describe but I could not stand up for myself anymore things like that . All of it was new .

Now I have found a solution in xanax . .5mg per day allows me to not be afraid to say whats in my mind as I was before, not scared to be me anymore, anxiety gone etc . Allows me to function to my full potential .

However knowing all I do I am very hesitant to continue down this road . I know all about what will happen when I discontinue and the sometimes reported years of gray existence afterwards would be more than I could handle . (Square 1)

However something was mentioned in a thread, I cannot remember the name of it for the life of me but a pharm that "resets" the downregulation of gaba receptors with im assuming causes the permanent rewiring . Rewires it for the better if you will . Repairs the neurological changes long term xanax use brings.

Now my question is, does anyone recall what that is and any personal experiences with it ?

I would also love any opinions, thoughts , objective viewpoints etc. regarding my situation and what you would do in my situation .

It got so bad and I really am half the person I really am without the xan . I am equally scared of going back to that timid existence as I am of the permanent changes .

Note: these problems were certain to be neurological in nature as I have had many personal issues beforehand that I have since conquered . I am a very social outgoing person that knows how to deal with situational anxiety etc. but no matter what these beasts reared their ugly heads over nothing at all .

Thank you everyone
 
Furthermore if anyone could suggest a natural route to quelling my social anxiety etc. without causing dependance on something id love to hear it . Eating foods that help the brain produce more dopamine and GABA has proven to be not enough
 
However something was mentioned in a thread, I cannot remember the name of it for the life of me but a pharm that "resets" the downregulation of gaba receptors with im assuming causes the permanent rewiring . Rewires it for the better if you will . Repairs the neurological changes long term xanax use brings.
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Unfortunately there isn't any such thing as a magical antidote that resets your brain from benzodiazepine abuse. Unfortunately there is no way to have your cake and eat it too with benzos.

Maybe you are thinking of flumazenil, the benzodiazepine antidote. It binds to the site where benzos do and blocks or reverses their effect. Some clinics use it in a similar way that naltrexone is used for opioid detoxification. But I think you need chronic treatment (many weeks) before you see improvement. And, of course, you can't be taking benzos at the same time...

The best treatment for social anxiety and the like is cognitive behavioral therapy.
 
From my own personal benzo hell XP, it should be used for full blown panic attacks only...and never an all day solution to anyones anxieties or fears.
Doctors here in the states seem to be so weary of dolling out opiates but they'll give benzos to a baby if it cries too much. It's redic. Benzo addiction kills people in withdrawal. I have anxiety panic attack problems. Wake up and don't know where I am and scream for help. Been through a lot of shit. The "natural" remedy for anxiety is proper nutrition, fitness , avoiding exposure to triggers when you can, etc... but the whole benzo thing will get you in so much trouble because basically the only thing that will safely end your benzo addiction is a proper taper. Even then its wicked uncomfortable .
 
I am not too familiar with cognitive behavioural therapy but from what I read on it it seems thats what I did to quell the social anxiety I experienced early on in my life. Those same techniques I have tried using now simply have no effect . When I am in a social situation and scared to say something, I would say the CBT method would be to say it anyway because I positively know that its funny or interesting etc. and when I do , it just feels awkward and forced, and it still feels awkward and forced even when everyone loves what I said (for lack of better terms) . Its a deep underlying shade colouring all my thinking and actions and even though I know its all in my head I just cant shake it . It feels very chemical, to do with my dopamine system, not something I can change by altering my thought and behaviour patterns because I have already changed those toxic patterns that led to this early on in life .

Does this make sense ?

Thanks for the responses guys I really appreciate it
 
DP6000 said:
I am not too familiar with cognitive behavioural therapy but from what I read on it it seems thats what I did to quell the social anxiety I experienced early on in my life. Those same techniques I have tried using now simply have no effect . When I am in a social situation and scared to say something, I would say the CBT method would be to say it anyway because I positively know that its funny or interesting etc. and when I do , it just feels awkward and forced, and it still feels awkward and forced even when everyone loves what I said (for lack of better terms) . Its a deep underlying shade colouring all my thinking and actions and even though I know its all in my head I just cant shake it . It feels very chemical, to do with my dopamine system, not something I can change by altering my thought and behaviour patterns because I have already changed those toxic patterns that led to this early on in life .

Does this make sense ?

Thanks for the responses guys I really appreciate it
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Ya it makes perfect sense, but at least you think about what you're thinking about. At least you think about what you're saying. Some idiots just blab on. At least your curse is based on cognitive ability . Think of it that way if only for a sec.
 
I feel you on that one. I felt and said the exact same thing.
Why couldn't I be dumb and happy? Because we're just not. You're not the only one with this "curse" though .
 
The path is narrow , for those like us .

Day 3 with no xanax and i feel impending doom is imminent . I think I can get on top of it though

What would you guys recommend regarding a weekend dosing regimen ?

.5mg Friday/Saturday as a bit of a social lubricant as long as I stay disciplined and dont dose into the week ?
 
I had no idea benzodiazepine was so hardcore, I heard withdraws were harder than opiates and I thought opiates was the worst of all.
 
What would you guys recommend regarding a weekend dosing regimen ?

.5mg Friday/Saturday as a bit of a social lubricant as long as I stay disciplined and dont dose into the week ?
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The thing with chronic benzodiazepine (ab)users is that they don't adhere to dosing schedules... if they had done so in the first place they could taper or limit the severity of withdrawals in the first place.

Pretty soon .5mg a day turns into 2mg a day, then you need something to ease the pain on Monday, then work is so stressful on wednesday, might as well take them thursday, because friday you'll also take them... and then hey presto, why am I addicted to BZD's again?
 
Im pretty good at discliplining myself with things like that (done heroin and not touched it for months afterwards multiple times etc.) But I completely agree with what your saying and I know this is a different beast .

Just going to try to do without and try hard as I can to make the mindset of the drug stick with me, like ive been doing . Ill keep at it

Wish me luck thanks Sekio
 
good luck my dude. just don't forget/get too barred out to check in and keep us updated with your status now, ya hear? :) it's said that some people can play with fire and barely get burned.
 
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Since you've got your anxiety from a stimulant, why not try to 'cure' it with another one...? Probably not the best suggestion, but I'd prefer it to taking BZDs daily at least ... many, including me, do find 2-F(M)A to maybe be relaxing enough. Especially thinking of that you're just using .5mg of a benzo.

Other one worth a try might be Tiagabin (Gabitril) - a GABA reuptake inhibitor that is said to not cause tolerance. While this claim still has to be proven, it does sound promiseful. And it has different, probably less side effects than your usual BZD- if dosed correctly. Too much could trigger seizures.

Also low doses of clonidine can be very helpful in anxiety/panic issues, like CNS active beta blockers like propanolol.

Last but not least, there is memantine with its ability to counter over active glutamate. Also it has anticonvulsant activity what always is a good thing when coming off benzos.

Also I'd suggest (while I may be wrong of course) that, since coke is a SNDRI, some 5-HT dysregulation might be the cause of your problems and not dopamine. In my experience the dopamine system is much more forgiving.
 
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Damn dopaminetic . Lots of good options mentioned here ive never yet heard of .

Yeah I dont feel fighting fire with fire is best in this case, and im pretty wary of fluorinated amphetamines due to the whole neurotoxicity controversy . Effects that some people mention at higher doses like nausea and headache kind of drive that home for me. Although im sure in therapeutic doses I wouldnt have much to worry about I dont feel good about that route .

Right now im doing fine . Ive started a new job and am drying out in a small town with no substances except for my lovely little ciggarettes and the occasional beer . Am loving it and dont see the need to experiment with any of these for the time being but if the daily grind gets at me again when I get home I will try Gabatril .

Clonidine is interesting too , I was not aware of imidazoline receptors prior to checking that out !

I know its not my 5 HT, I experienced that before the cocaine all my life and with certain periods of MDMA too often . That is lack of motivation, depression etc . This is an odd reverse-aggression ive described earlier along with other effects of dopamine deficiency/downregulation . Ive since fixed that with 5 HTP for a while until it seemed this stimulated my circuits into producing enough on their own .

Thanks again guys and DNA I will be sure to continue updating this thread with my progress/successes/failures
 
sekio said:
The thing with chronic benzodiazepine (ab)users is that they don't adhere to dosing schedules... if they had done so in the first place they could taper or limit the severity of withdrawals in the first place.

Pretty soon .5mg a day turns into 2mg a day, then you need something to ease the pain on Monday, then work is so stressful on wednesday, might as well take them thursday, because friday you'll also take them... and then hey presto, why am I addicted to BZD's again?
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So true. After abusing the benzo script if you want to taper its a bitch because you have to find your maintenance dose before you can begin the proper taper.
 
Me neither, but fear of tolerance and withdrawal stays in the back of my mind always nevertheless. Also something like Tiagabine just feels cleaner, in comparison the benzodiazepines have a long list of subjective side effects ranging from brain fog to weird physical feelings.
 
To you maybe but they're regarded as largely side-effect free in comparison to substitutes, which tiagabine really isn't, at least for anxiety.
 
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