1 - Why would *SHE* have to keep repeating herself to anyone that she's in a long term relationship? Now, wording is important here... "I want to make it long term"
is **NOT THE SAME ** as "I'm in a long term" relationship. Girls are odd that way, us guys are more dense. Its usually, sex = good. No sex = bad. ARRGH! scratch balls, drink beer. So her messages to YOU "I want a long term" could easily mean, "I want a long term - with Norm, but he doesn't seem to be worth it... but if I break up with Norm - it means I don't want to be a slut - and it would be long term with someone else". Actions and words are two different things (and the history of above).
If you notice something about OUR conversation if this matter with you. How much of it has to do with the sex you both had vs. the sex and intimacy she DOESN'T have now. ie: Norm is the problem.
2 - Yes, it kind of makes a difference of age. Is Norm also in his early 20s (which I will assume, otherwise). That means, they have been together since right after high school. I tell this to people, especially girls and these rules are general, there are always exceptions. (okay?) When we start dating and having relationships, hopefully in our teenage years, we CHANGE as we mature. What we want, what we need, what we do changes as we age. Some more so than others. here is my rough chart:
age 18 - out of school, young legal adult. Maybe off to college. Lots of breakups as teens go to different schools, learn to be with ADULTS. Rarely do 16yr olds last to 18yr olds in relationships.
age 21 - drinking, more maturity. Less thinking like a teenager. If you lasted this long (4+ years) thats pretty good. you may have moved in with another adult... is there more to life?
age 25 - Your brain has matured. Now you're just starting to grow ~~~ old ~~~. Everything from here on is life experience. This is also when your body starts to become overweight as your metabolism is starting to slow.
(So stop or reduce eating shitty junk food)
age 30 - More thinking of the long term... getting into a relationship now, is likely to be years-lasting, even if its light dating.
age 40 - midlife... should be serious by then
People meeting and falling in love in the 30s is likely to last longer than at 25. Meeting and dating someone when you're 18~20 will most likely only last a few months to a few years.
Norm's disinterest in sex is not a good sign (which we've gone over) and who knows, there is a chance he's cheating on her with another woman or man (wouldn't' be the first time) - there are people who realize their sexuality orientation in their 20s, hell sometimes 30's, etc.
I've had some lame sexual partners, who we're not worth going back after the first 2~3 times. I was hoping to have a long-term relationship with a woman who lived a few blocks away from me. great body, very attractive (model type), very nice vag and tits... but we were not compatible sexually. She sounded and acted like a porn-star and talked to much. The 2nd time I knew it wasn't working for sure as I couldn't keep it hard. Why waste each other's time?
I soon meet my future wife, smaller but awesome breasts, cute, awesome in bed. But lived 40 miles away! ARGH! She was worth the drive... a lot of driving. After 5 years together, a kid, a history; my dick gets hard thinking about her. This morning, we made love for about an hour before passing out for more sleep. We can see each other being together 10, 20, 30 years from now.
With Norm, that intimacy sucks today, it'll suck tomorrow, and will be that way 10 years from now.
(BTW: You are welcome to share my story with her - in your own words about a buddy, whose married and that is sexual, will cuddle up together to watch TV together, touch each other in bed - even while sleeping)
