Wow Factor

[Iron Lungs]

Hi all,

This is my first post on the boards, I have been aware of this place since around the John Mcafee chronicles and have lurked for quite a while especially over the last 2-3 months

I am a 34 year old male who has been a weed smoker since his teens and its my drug of choice, I grew up during the rave scene so I have had my fair share of other drugs too but in my early 20's I pulled my life together and fast forward 15 years and I have been to Uni have an excellent job and a young family life is pretty good

I have fancied getting back into drugs for quite a while, I work in engineering and there are PhD level chemists and we had really looked into Shulgin and read a lot about drugs and educated myself about chemistry, I really fancied (still do!) Mescaline.HCL you know the proper synthetic stuff as opposed to a cactus extract as I have heard great things about it what I am saying is my head was in the right space as far as getting into the zone goes I was gagging for it!

Then in August I discovered it, it being 1P-LSD

My girlfriend took the little one to the caravan and I politely declined!, I knew it was the chance that I couldn't remember having in such a long time

I got right into it guys, started watching Terence Mckenna and all things psychedelic, I got the house all sorted nice and clean and cosy

What can I say I took 100ug and when it peaked I took another and that day was simply the best day of my life, it was already a good day to start with as a lot of things had come off and it was just so special, like I say life is good and at work its partucularly good you see I like maths and I think of new ways of doing things that save a lot of money, build some electronics write a bit of code and its amazing stuff is science and maths

At work I am a popular guy, it feels good that I studied for like 12 years and it was all worth it, I am in a job I absolutely love and this contributes to me having magical trips, with a little education into a persons thought when tripping for me it negates any negatives, I can sway the vibe of the trip by thinking of all this positive stuff

After the first trip it was like OMG, it was just far better than anything I had expected and it was like the LSD I had years ago was nothing like this, 1P-LSD is fukin good shit for sure

Anyway like a kid I ended up just wanting to trip all the time and I am not ashamed to say that I have tripped every week since then, I have really battled with myself to try and not abuse the stuff by reading the tolerance threads etc there has been many a time where I rolled a spliff made a cup of tea and did some reading on redosing but the advice is to not bother take more next time, its so hard to not go crazy (for me anyway) and I had the bag out many times ready to redose but the threads made me see sense

So every week since then (11 weeks) I have tripped, I started with one and then another when I started to mellow (5-6 hours later), then I started just taking 200ug and it was always amazing, every week was just the same as the previous week (with the exception of the first time), absolutely bliss with so much happiness in my brain it was incredible, I just wanna listen to music and fukin dance man!

This drug has made my life even better, I realised a lot of things that I needed to improve on, I stopped smoking baccy and all kinds of really positive stuff

I had read about abusing LSD and it losing its magic, in some cases never to return and this is a big reason why I don't wanna go above 200ug

Anyway the reason I am posing this thread is to ask for opinions

For ten weeks I took 200ug and it was always just the same experience then last week I had a bad week, I argued with my girlfriend most of the week over financial shit (spending money like its water namely), nothing new in argueing its a common thing but this was a moderate one but also at work was shit, basically other peoples incompetence means that you fall behind and these deadlines don't shift so you end up going to work on a Sunday to try and catch up but also some things went wrong, I missed a component on a design and was under the most amount of pressure I can ever remember being under, it all got sorted quite fast but there wasnt any relief or feeling of accomplishment just move onto the next pile of shit

All that I can handle but when I was under stress I was a complete arsehole with someone that is close to me, theres a girl at work who is basically my best friend, theres nothing sexual about it and its the first time in my life I have ever been friends with a female without any sexual plans, we are both hitched with kids but we get on so well and in my moments of stress this girl was trying to help me and I acted like a total ass hole, this happened on a Thursday and she was off on the Friday so I couldn't apologise or anything

Man was it weighing on my mind, its just not me and to top it all off I went and fuked up at work and ended up putting too much pressure into a product and then vented it all off with no safety gear on, Health and safety all got involved and I just again didnt handle it well at all, it was all my fault so I should of just took it on the chin


After all this I get home sit on the couch and have a joint, I felt like a prick, stressed out and just sick, I don't get depressed, I never have been depressed in my life but that was the closest I can remember

I didnt want to trip and I thought I will just go to sleep and give it a miss, I like to take them early on like 5 or 6 and then getting to sleep at a reasonable time is an option

But this week I got to 23:00 and I don't know what made me do it but I jumped up out chair and necked 200ug

This time it was just different, it didnt having that magical feeling that makes me think wow, you know all the happiness that I had experienced every week just was not there, well it was but it was hardly noticeable and all that shit was whirling around my head, I was actually sat facepalmed thinking WTF have you done you muppet!

I remembered all the stuff I had read about the magic going, all the visual efects were there but none of the spiritual stuff and even music just sounded normal


I know taking LSD every week isn't recommended but it was like I had missed out on so much that I kept returning and I have noticed nothing but a positive effect on my life from this stuff there simply doesn't seem to be anything negative what so ever but a list of positives


My question is, in your opinions was the magic feeling not there because I took it when I felt a bit shit or is it related to the fact that I took it 11 weeks on the trot

i really look forwa\rd to your replies


Regards

 

[Listening]

I won't reply to all of this, but one thing that I think is worth mentioning is that psychedelics, while known for their ego-dissolving properties, can also cause ego boosting and I think this has happened to you. Tripping every week for that long is too often to fully come down and see your sober self. You're in danger of losing perspective.

My question is, in your opinions was the magic feeling not there because I took it when I felt a bit shit or is it related to the fact that I took it 11 weeks on the trot

Both probably played a role, and the fact that you were taking it weekly is also one of the reasons why you again decided to take it even when you knew you shouldn't. It had become a habitual thing.

Sounds like you know what's best for you. Stop taking it weekly. Only take it when the time is right. Work on yourself and take responsibility for your assholish behavior.

 

[CrypticArc]

You're fine. Just take a month or two off. I have been taking LSD for a couple years in high doses, and sometimes during my honeymoon phase, I would take it 5 times within 2 weeks when I was being an idiot about it. The cause of your problem is certainly dosing too often, but no matter how much I dose I can always get the magic to come back even when I take doses up to 600ug

 

[Iron Lungs]

I have never heard of ego boosting before

But I can honestly put my hand on my heart and say that I don't have a big head, a trait of mine is that I don't think that I am better than anyone else, I come from a rough area, a council estate and its my opinion that anyone can do anything if they put the work in

I hate people with ego's, I just wanted to point out that even before the LSD life was good, inventing technology that saves millions of pounds, astronomical amounts of energy and [pays back in seven weeks feels good man, its not ego its the reward for working like an idiot

I appreciate your reply, I am planning on taking a break any way

 

[Iron Lungs]

Cryptic arc, so you have experienced this loss of magic and you have also made it come back

Have you ever tripped when feeling pissed off!, feeling like a total and utter bell end on multiple fronts is what I was feeling


My girlfriend is away again this weekend and its a shame to miss but if missing is whats needed then so be it I have had a good run for sure

 

[CrypticArc]

Cryptic arc, so you have experienced this loss of magic and you have also made it come back

Have you ever tripped when feeling pissed off!, feeling like a total and utter bell end on multiple fronts is what I was feeling


My girlfriend is away again this weekend and its a shame to miss but if missing is whats needed then so be it I have had a good run for sure

Yeah, of course I have. I even used psychedelics to give myself therapy for a long time, which means confronting the things you're afraid of, angry about or hurt over. At some point, I took a 3-4 month break and when I came back to tripping I literally couldn't recognize the high. It felt as if I had never taken acid before.

 

[Xorkoth]

I have gone through various periods of various frequencies of psychedelic use, and I can say that weekly tripping is sustainable for a while, if you accept that you will start to build tolerance. Some people's brains seem to be able to handle psychedelics well like that, while for others weekly tripping is too unbalancing. You seem like you've got it pretty together so it may be that weekly tripping for periods of time is okay for you.

Honestly though, your mental set at the time certainly played a big role in this trip. The fact that you tripped during the time that you did indicates to me that you've developed a bit of a fixation on psychedelics, a psychedelic addiction really. I've been there, moreso than most people. In 2005 I got into psychedelics for real... I had my first trip in college in 2001, and tripped a few times in college. Then I graduated and moved across the country and discovered research chemicals, and suddenly I had a bunch of psychedelics. I started out almost immediately tripping every week. My trips were incredible, some of them life-changing. What it provided for me was helped in keeping my stresses in perspective (it was a stressful time where I was plagued with anxiety and depression oftentimes because the transition out of college was hard for me plus I had moved away from everything I'd ever known), and also I just loved the trips, it was the most interesting thing I could imagine (it still is incredibly interesting to me). As time went on I started doing it twice a week, and then slowly I got really crazy with it. I was doing AMT for a while as my drug of choice and once I did it 7 days in a row. It was a slow progression to this point. I was staying up work nights and tripping all night, sleep an hour or two, and going to work (I work as a computer programmer). I was also hiding it from my girlfriend (who later became my wife, then ex-wife) - don't know if that's your situation or not but if so, I can guarantee that will catch up to you eventually even if it takes years. My tolerance grew during this (obviously) and my trips got less and less profound other than the occasional one that still blew my mind. Eventually my tolerance was SO high, stupidly high, and I was chronically and severely sleep-deprived, and I was barely tripping anymore from anything I had so much tolerance built up. Shit hit the fan and I took a 3 year break and regenerated myself. During this time I took no psychedelics at all, except once I ate a few mushrooms with my cousin partway through that period of time.

Then after 3 years my ex and I had split up and my life had improved dramatically, and I decided to get back into psychedelics. I found that I could trip enjoyably again off reasonable dosages, but that my baseline tolerance was still a good bit higher than most peoples' - I need double the dose of many people, like 4 times more than one of my friends, even if I haven't tripped for a month or longer (or even 3 years, even my first trip after all that time was like that). Since then I've never had a trip that was as profound as any of my early profound trips, though I have great trips, strong ones and profound ones.

In my experience, weekly tripping WILL give you tolerance gradually, and it will cause a gradual loss of magic. That being said, I still do it for periods of time. Usually in the summer I trip weekly, and the rest of the year it's like every other week. I have noticed the same gradual build of tolerance over the summer even over the baseline tolerance. When I trip this way I don't expect to have a magical experience, or if I do (which I go for occasionally), it's with larger doses. Usually I just trip recreationally now, I really enjoy them and the effect they have on socialization and activities and music (playing and listening). I can still have profound experiences but it's not like my early trips, and I don't think it ever can be again. Truly I believe the main factor is just that once you've tripped hundreds upon hundreds of times, you've just been there so much that it could never have the same impact as it did at the beginning. A big part of tripping at the beginning is that it throws you so far outside of yourself, and it's a bunch of new sensations and experiences. This results in a more intense and profound experience, or the potential for it anyway. Like, the first time you break through, it's a completely new experience and it feels unbelievably profound because it's a revelation. But if it's happened a variety of times, it's not a new thing anymore. If you more or less know what to expect, it's less off-balancing by far. I still get surprised sometimes, but generally now when I take a psychedelic it's for a specific purpose (hiking, playing music, hanging out with a friend, etc) and I experience what I expect to experience. I still love psychedelics, and they have changed my life, but the vast majority of that was done in my early trips. Maybe it wouldn't be that way now if I had kept tripping to an occasional thing, but I'll never know that, and I'm glad I have them in my life anyway. I do sometimes have to tell myself no, because I love the psychedelic space, it's really fun and rewarding to experience so my addictive tendencies compel me to visit that state a lot. I pretty much keep it to the maximum of what I feel good about in terms of frequency, and then sometimes, generally in the cold months, or if things are getting stressful, I don't feel like it as often. Some people never get the urge to trip often, so for them it's an easy balance, but since you seem to be one who does have that urge, like me, I can just recommend to you that you really keep vigilant and aware of yourself and make sure it doesn't become a problem.

 

[Listening]

I have never heard of ego boosting before

But I can honestly put my hand on my heart and say that I don't have a big head, a trait of mine is that I don't think that I am better than anyone else

Do you take pride in that? Who do you think feeds off that pride? Not trying to dismiss what you're saying, it's just that I can relate to it all too well. I too have an intuitive humility on my side, but psychedelics and transcendental experiences can turn humility into food for the ego if we're not careful.

Anyway, I have no idea if this really has any relevance to your original questions. I only brought it up because you mentioned that you acted like an asshole to more than one person. I've done this too, and have found that it can be due to an unconscious impatience with people who "aren't there" - who haven't seen what you've seen and experienced what you've experienced. It comes from an ego that is attached to the idea that it is particularly humble, whilst simultaneously having a (possibly unconscious) belief that it is more enlightened than the next person. These two ideas are somewhat incompatible and the cognitive dissonance begs for resolution. Your ego defends against it: instead of recognizing that it is split, inflated and distorted, it externalizes the problem onto others.

 

[SteamboatBillJr]

I have consumed psychedelics every 7-10 days over long durations. I have also had long durations of abstinence. Eventually I settled on lower doses every ~10 days in combination with regular exercise. This maximized the therapeutic potential and reduced the side effects as well.

If you decrease your usual dose or discontinue your regimen you should taper your dose over several cycles.