psychedelicsoul
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2015
- Messages
- 726
I wish I could call myself an aromantic... but I can't.
I can't be aromantic. Part of me wants to find that special girl I can hold and be with and shit like that. But I put on this "I only give a fuck 'bout dat pussy" attitude which repels women. But the thing is I know what it's like to obsess over someone and feel hurt. So I decide to only value sex and nothing else. Because sex with one woman is sex with another woman. I can't possibly be hurt by a girl if I only care about sex. Sure, rejecting the romantic desires and seeking only sex makes me feel empty, I think it's better than the hurt associated with trying to find love. I think I can be content with emptiness.
I've spent all my life getting high, drinking and watching anime... practically nothing else meaningful. But I wouldn't have it any other way. It's a simple life... simple desire... simple existence. But I focus within... that's why I like philosophy so much. Because the world around me is repetitive, so I think constantly about existence itself, morality, god, souls, spirituality all the time... constantly. And I feel content.
I'm more proud of my ideas of god and my faith in the soul than I am of most of my accomplishments in the world. I live in this world to simply experience the basic joys that drugs, alcohol and the internet can provide. I don't ask for much.
I find so much joy exploring my own mind. I don't ask much from the world.
I'll probably be too poor to even find a nice girl anyways... I'll be out of college one day, living alone working two jobs, hoping I can do something with my degree. I need joy other than what the world can provide me. I can't feel that lonely since I always have myself. And I love me.
Because of that, I think the loneliness I feel from not having a girlfriend is something I can just get used to. However, I never wanna experience the pain of getting rejected again.
I can't be aromantic. Part of me wants to find that special girl I can hold and be with and shit like that. But I put on this "I only give a fuck 'bout dat pussy" attitude which repels women. But the thing is I know what it's like to obsess over someone and feel hurt. So I decide to only value sex and nothing else. Because sex with one woman is sex with another woman. I can't possibly be hurt by a girl if I only care about sex. Sure, rejecting the romantic desires and seeking only sex makes me feel empty, I think it's better than the hurt associated with trying to find love. I think I can be content with emptiness.
I've spent all my life getting high, drinking and watching anime... practically nothing else meaningful. But I wouldn't have it any other way. It's a simple life... simple desire... simple existence. But I focus within... that's why I like philosophy so much. Because the world around me is repetitive, so I think constantly about existence itself, morality, god, souls, spirituality all the time... constantly. And I feel content.
I'm more proud of my ideas of god and my faith in the soul than I am of most of my accomplishments in the world. I live in this world to simply experience the basic joys that drugs, alcohol and the internet can provide. I don't ask for much.
I find so much joy exploring my own mind. I don't ask much from the world.
I'll probably be too poor to even find a nice girl anyways... I'll be out of college one day, living alone working two jobs, hoping I can do something with my degree. I need joy other than what the world can provide me. I can't feel that lonely since I always have myself. And I love me.
Because of that, I think the loneliness I feel from not having a girlfriend is something I can just get used to. However, I never wanna experience the pain of getting rejected again.