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Would you rather be hurt or feel empty?

psychedelicsoul

psychedelicsoul

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 3, 2015
Messages
726
I wish I could call myself an aromantic... but I can't.

I can't be aromantic. Part of me wants to find that special girl I can hold and be with and shit like that. But I put on this "I only give a fuck 'bout dat pussy" attitude which repels women. But the thing is I know what it's like to obsess over someone and feel hurt. So I decide to only value sex and nothing else. Because sex with one woman is sex with another woman. I can't possibly be hurt by a girl if I only care about sex. Sure, rejecting the romantic desires and seeking only sex makes me feel empty, I think it's better than the hurt associated with trying to find love. I think I can be content with emptiness.
I've spent all my life getting high, drinking and watching anime... practically nothing else meaningful. But I wouldn't have it any other way. It's a simple life... simple desire... simple existence. But I focus within... that's why I like philosophy so much. Because the world around me is repetitive, so I think constantly about existence itself, morality, god, souls, spirituality all the time... constantly. And I feel content.
I'm more proud of my ideas of god and my faith in the soul than I am of most of my accomplishments in the world. I live in this world to simply experience the basic joys that drugs, alcohol and the internet can provide. I don't ask for much.
I find so much joy exploring my own mind. I don't ask much from the world.
I'll probably be too poor to even find a nice girl anyways... I'll be out of college one day, living alone working two jobs, hoping I can do something with my degree. I need joy other than what the world can provide me. I can't feel that lonely since I always have myself. And I love me.

Because of that, I think the loneliness I feel from not having a girlfriend is something I can just get used to. However, I never wanna experience the pain of getting rejected again.
 
psychedelicsoul said:
But I put on this "I only give a fuck 'bout dat pussy" attitude which repels women.
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you must be up to your neck in pussy, man. how many times have you had sex this week? c'mon, man to man, how many?

alasdair
 
psychedelicsoul said:
Well um... you know how I said that attitude "repels" women?
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Haven't you tried tinder yet?
I don't get it, you want someone special, but you fear being hurt so you seek only sex, however your delivery for seeking sex prevents you from any woman desiring your company yet you are content with your attitude. You're in a catch 22 scenario, kid..

I'd rather be hurt than empty. I need to feel like people want who I am, enjoying my presence and thinking about me when I'm gone. Even if it's only friendly and not romantic.
I've only ever been fully sexual with 1 woman who I was with for 7 years and recently broke up with. I want to sleep around a bit but I also feel like I need some sort of connection. I'm pretty confident that once I break down my personal barriers, I'll find some people who would fit my profile. I just plan to be myself.
 
be content with emptiness, no woman deserves the phenomenon that is psychedelicsoul.
 
Valid point you make there, I haven't actually thought about this matter the way you do. It makes me wonder which one I am..
I'd say the best thing to do is to be yourself, regardless of ending with or w/o 'pussy', Then if you meet a girl who appreciates that she might open up to you aswel.
Think about the times that you actually got hurt by a woman, what was your attitude back then?

So that maybe you can try to recreate those circumstances and be happy again, You'll only learn from it if she hurts you :)
 
Mate, seriously..

STOP jacking off multiple times a day.. it has mashed your wires. You are not content. You wouldn't be here posting all this if you were. It's a cry for attention, and love, but you don't see it because you've become so bloody self-absorbed mentally due to your "self-love". I absolutely guarantee you if you slowed down your rate to a healthy frequency (10 times a day is compulsive) your mind would change and you would be capable of attracting a woman. You would look back in a year or two to what you're posting at the moment, and you'll be so embarrassed.. and happy that you escaped this bullshit.

I.. I've.. I'll.. I.. I.. all your posts are so self-absorbed, it's painful. Why settle for this? You can do so much more with yourself and you know it. Stop feeding your addiction which is holding your mind hostage. Clear yourself up and connect with someone. You can not possibly understand the other side of the fence until you actually get there, so stop rationalizing and settling. Be a man and improve yourself, then you'll 'get pussy'.. but that won't be half as grand as the bonds you form with other people once you learn to accept yourself.

PsySoul said:
I live in this world to simply experience the basic joys that drugs, alcohol and the internet can provide.
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I would argue they're enjoying you and not the other way around. Look at the people who follow that path and see where they are at the end of their lives, if they actually make it to old age. Happy, fulfilled people?.. You're young, you have time to knock this bullshit off. You really going to be doing this in 10 years time and still be 'content'? Bullshit you are. Your mind won't allow that, so don't even try.

You need a good man slap.
 
^ good post, ss.

psychedelicsoul, you are essentially asking "is it better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all", right?

i've loved a couple of women in my life and the answer is a no brainer. loved and lost. in one case, i would have done anything to have experienced that love. including losing it...

i think ss is right. i'm sure you're enjoying the attention you're getting on bluelight. pushing people's buttons on the internet is easy, especially from behind the safety and anonymity of a handle on a discussion board populated in large part by drug users. but it's not that special and you may come to realise that and seek relationships which are more meaningful and 'real'.

alasdair
 
I'd rather hurt.

You seem very avoidant, what with the anxiety and negative attitude towards yourself. Take a chance on something meaningful or you may live a life of regret. Humans are social beings who have a need for intimacy and you will ultimately be unfulfilled if you don't at least try. One day you can find a woman who understands or at least puts up with your quirks/perceived flaws. All of us are unique for a reason!

I've read a lot of your posts OP and I won't judge you. Nobody is perfect. Don't be so hard on yourself. On the other hand, don't expect too much from others. Try to be more realistic in your views and it will certainly benefit you in many ways.
 
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I have to agree with everyone else that you are NOT content.. otherwise why post such things? You sound more like you're trying to convince yourself that things are okay.
 
It's all a balance; both positive n negative. You cannot feel one without the other. You need to ask yourself wjy are you afraid of getting hurt - and seek to get to the bottom of this. I've spent my life feeling empty n trying to full a void. Trust me it's better to find love than that. But life is not as simple as "love" or "emptiness". They're too distinct entities. You find love because you're willing to open your heart n let love in - not to full emptiness.

Take care of yourself n hope you can find a way to feel better with yourself. Here if you need to talk (but not about sex).

Evey
 
I'd rather be hurt. I've been hurt plenty of times anyway. But love, true crazy making love.. Till you've felt it you can't imagine it. I'd say it's worth the risk.

Oh and by the way, people who'll reject you for being poor aren't nice, fuckem
 
JessFR said:
Till you've felt it you can't imagine it.

Oh and by the way, people who'll reject you for being poor aren't nice, fuckem
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I honestly am not sure how much PsySoul has actually experienced exposure to women or rather his methods for showing interest in women. I think his biases and assumptions of females is skewed from reality.

Psy, how much dating experience do you actually have? How do you approach women? How often? Do you have friends who are girls? What exactly is it that you're basing your ideas of women and relationships on?
I find it hard to believe that it would be impossible for you to pick up women based strictly on being broke and only wanting sex. You seem to understand that women don't like the "Only care bout dat pussy" attitude.. Well You don't have to promise them a relationship but my goodness you need to start grasping the idea that women are people too. They don't want to just be a hole for your dick, you should learn to try and show some interest in women as people..

I know you say that you're content.. But dude, seriously.. If you were content you wouldn't even care about dat pussy. You wouldn't talk about it so much, at least not the way that you do. It's quite clear that you want it but you're not making the effort to get it (Laziness? Physical or mental unwillingness to change the circumstance)

Non-money grubbing women who want sex w/o a relationship are out there but they aren't going to fall into your lap while you're masturbating to say "Ohhhh.. fuck me, senpai!"
 
it seems like something of a self-reinforcing definition or a self-evident truism but anybody who has experienced 'true' love would always rather have experienced it and lost it (otherwise it wasn't true love).

alasdair
 
alasdairm said:
it seems like something of a self-reinforcing definition or a self-evident truism but anybody who has experienced 'true' love would always rather have experienced it and lost it (otherwise it wasn't true love).

alasdair
Click to expand...

I've never really like the term "True Love" which in many cultural references implies some sort of idea of soul mates.
True love defined in your sense (to me) would be somewhere along the lines of.. A mutual, genuine romantic interest with someone for an undefined length of time, but typically longer than a few months.
I believe that there are many different kinds of love and no sense of "true" love, only varying degrees of affection for another person. I also believe that love can come and go, and having lost that love does not invalidate the feelings that were had before. People and circumstances simply change.
 
i'd like to think that, again by definition, it can't be put into words :)

alasdair
 
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