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Would you cut someone off if you found out they were a heroin user?

shadowstryker

shadowstryker

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 4, 2015
Messages
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Well, basically my girlfriend of 7 months started popping pills again. In the beginning of the relationship she told me if I ever started using heroin again she'd break up with me, which has definitely helped me stay clean. However, she just came to me and told me that the reason she's been so happy lately is because she started using pills again, and wants me to get us some heroin for her and I to share. I already bought it, and we have a date planned and everything. But...I'm having second thoughts and don't want to do it anymore. I also don't want to judge her for what she chooses to do though.

What do you guys suggest? I don't want to break up with her because I do care for her, so I'm thinking about saying I don't care if she does it but I want to be around when she does so I can make sure she's safe. At the same time I'm worried it'll be tol tempting for me to be around it though.
 
i think if you want to stay off heroin is she going to help you? it no longer sounds like it.

look at your life. is it good? do you want to go back to the previous behaviours?
 
Shes being unfair to you. If you do heroin you get the boot but its ok for her? If shes not yet at the point withdrawal will kick in, perhaps you could discuss the merits of her stopping and the two of you staying off pills or heroin. I dont envy you though. Thats a rough convo but if you are second guessing using, stay strong, dont do it, and see what she thinks.
 
Maybe you should ask her why is she started using pills again .. ? "if I ever started using heroin again she'd break up with me, which has definitely helped me stay clean." Thats a bit unfair don't you think?IMHO stay strong and try to understand why she wants both of you to start those things again, maybe you will figure out something ..
 
Wow... that's a bunch of bullshit. Ask yourself this "does this girl really love me?" For her to relapse is one thing but to drag you bag down is another. Would you do that to someone you love?
 
Dude you know how much it's fucked you over don't. I was once told the person who introduces you to heroin esp. IV is not your friend. Don't ruin this relationship you have. I usually avoid trying to give you advice anymore, but you need to follow the advice to tell get no so she doesn't ruin her life like you did.
 
You both already have history with opiates so you know where this is headed. Even if you don't do heroin with her you are still enabling her by "keeping her safe" while she uses. Put in that situation enough times, you're eventually going to do it.

You need to show her you care by not allowing her to do this to herself. It's her life and she is entitled to her decision obviously, but the best thing you can do is not support those kind of decisions. You can't protect her from heroin. It is the most evil drug there is. Here in Cincinnati alone we have had 32 overdoses in the last TWO days. Four of my friends have died this year from heroin overdose.

You need to do the right thing and just flush that shit homie. If you really care about your girl, then show her by not feeding into this sickness.
 
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The only thing that sucks worse than being addicted to heroin is bein in a relationship with a heroin addict when you are Addicted to heroin
 
If you want to stay clean again, do NOT use heroin again. It's sooooo easy to fall back into the routine and become addicted again.

As for your girlfriend, perhaps you need to get to the root of why she is unhappy all the time. Does she want to stop? Usually the addict needs to decide when to stop. When she is ready, it is good to be there and support her and help her however you can. Figuring out the WHY can help solve the problem.
 
I was a former IV heroin addict and believe me i wouldnt stand for this at all. I absolutely love my clean and sober life now and wouldnt give that up for anyone. You are about to make the worlds biggest mistake... I was in a relationship for almost 6 years and we were in love at one point both on and off drugs we decided to end it because we make better friends. My point in saying that is if i relapsed for her she would have inevitably left me and perhaps we both wouldnt be clean now, dont act like shes the only person that matters because you may come to realize it was YOU that was the only person that matters in your life.

I would put up the ultimatum that she needs to end it now or id leave her ass on the street... i realize now that is the best option in something like this. Do what is best for YOU, you honestly never know where a relationship will go. This is coming from someone who supported his now former g/f habit for years saw her through the worst parts of her life shielded her from all the financial burden revived her when she ODed etc and what i have to show for it is a new person that i can say i played a role in "getting there" I wouldnt recommend it for anyone because i have a lot to make up for due to being one myself and then supporting a heroin addict, not saying youll find yourself in the same boat but after all that we still arent together... some would view that as a massive waste of my effort LOL
 
Goodjob for getting clean. Goodjob for staying clean. Don't give all the credit to your gf and her threats.... it was YOU. You quit, you stayed clean. Hell you have heroin on you right now and haven't used. AMAZING. Good for you!

I agree with the rest of the posters... you already made it so far... don't get suckered back it. You know it's going to be too good... until it's too bad.
I would flush it down the toilet. Don't enable your gf. She wants it, she can get it herself. And she needs to do it without you, tbh. It's way too tempting to be around it. You just going to watch TV, sober? Watching her? Dude, it's hard being at a bar sober... just don't be around that sort of temptation.

Have a serious talk with her. Remind her what your life was like when you were using.. and how your life is now. Your life is going this way, her life is going that way and you can't go back that way. What's gonna change?
 
shadowstryker said:
Well, basically my girlfriend of 7 months started popping pills again. In the beginning of the relationship she told me if I ever started using heroin again she'd break up with me, which has definitely helped me stay clean. However, she just came to me and told me that the reason she's been so happy lately is because she started using pills again, and wants me to get us some heroin for her and I to share. I already bought it, and we have a date planned and everything. But...I'm having second thoughts and don't want to do it anymore. I also don't want to judge her for what she chooses to do though.

What do you guys suggest? I don't want to break up with her because I do care for her, so I'm thinking about saying I don't care if she does it but I want to be around when she does so I can make sure she's safe. At the same time I'm worried it'll be tol tempting for me to be around it though.
Click to expand...

I couldn't trust her anymore. And yeah I'd have sex with her one last time and then break up.
 
shadowstryker said:
Well, basically my girlfriend of 7 months started popping pills again. In the beginning of the relationship she told me if I ever started using heroin again she'd break up with me, which has definitely helped me stay clean. However, she just came to me and told me that the reason she's been so happy lately is because she started using pills again, and wants me to get us some heroin for her and I to share. I already bought it, and we have a date planned and everything. But...I'm having second thoughts and don't want to do it anymore. I also don't want to judge her for what she chooses to do though.

What do you guys suggest? I don't want to break up with her because I do care for her, so I'm thinking about saying I don't care if she does it but I want to be around when she does so I can make sure she's safe. At the same time I'm worried it'll be tol tempting for me to be around it though.
Click to expand...

I'd only cut them off if they wouldn't share.
 
No. I wouldn't stay with a heroin addict. I have addiction problems ( not heroin) and I know what kind of problems they cause in relationships. 2 heroin addicts is sad and leads you nowhere. It will self-destruct. There's a movie about 2 heroin addicts in a relationship starring Heath Ledger called Candy. Watch it. That's not a real relationship. The whole relationship is based on getting your next fix. This is bad news.

It actually reminds me of an Elliott Smith lyric
"If you're all done like you said you'd be,
What are you doing hanging out with me?"

And another Elliott lyric:
"You turned white like a saint and I'm tired of dancing on a pot of gold flake paint." The white like a saint is how she looks when she's high on heroin. Dancing on the gold flake paint means he's tired of acting like things are ok when he knows this relationship is fake. Just like gold flake paint isn't real. It's just an illusion, but it's fake. He realizes he's tired of being in a relationship that isn't real.

I know you care about her, but YOU come first. Tell her to get help and that you will not be around her while she's using. Maybe telling her you won't be around to watch her use will help give her an incentive to quit. Don't get sucked back in or one of you could end up dead.
 
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I have a close friend who was in a relationship with a girl who got "clean" for many years. She went back to it and was living life in a way that many would not appreciate from their SO to get the "fix" she needed. He ended up having to break up with her.
 
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