Hey there OP, while we would really like to be able to answer your thread with some degree of accuracy, this is not really possible given the sheer amount of variables at play. If we put a pot of coffee on and burn the midnight oil with research regarding Lorazepam (Ativan), we would still have far too much variability here. You are moving in the right direction by doing this research into the nature of your drugs, but you need to pay a significant amount of attention also, to how you feel.
The reason why addiction is so hard to deal with whereas say, not touching a lit stove, is such an easy decision to make, is because we are often robbed of our higher-order executive functioning, slowly, without truly realizing how much we are losing. Intelligence, plans, research or what have you can all take an easy back seat to the desire to "cheat" on your dosage schedule "just once".
I'm happy to leave this open for a tick should you have any questions, but there is just a limited amount of useful information that we can provide to you. There is only a certain degree of specificity that we can reach, no matter how hard we try and this is pretty much it. We definitely like to steer away from absolutes, but in general, the way you need to look at this situation philosophically is as such:
You are investing a lot of psychological energy in trying to figure out how you can use your drug of choice, most often, without consequences. You may think you're working toward a responsible goal, while you are really just working toward addiction. It's a fairly common thought process and you are definitely not the first Benzodiazepine user to walk through Basic Drug Discussion postulating a dosage schedule that allows "just the right amount" of usage.
This is not to insult your intelligence, because as we've covered, intelligence has little if nothing to do with it. I just want to give you the most realistic picture possible. You are trying to figure this out because of how good these drugs make you feel.
