Wilson Wilson
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2014
- Messages
- 3,750
Agreed mate. Even during my oxy habit, the only one that did affect my personal life by making me isolated from other people, I was still fully functional at work no problem. None of my colleagues or supervisors or bosses ever mentioned me being impaired. If anything I was probably better at my job because opiates make anything enjoyable. Obviously I kept my dose low enough I wasn't nodding at work. Only made that mistake once, took too much Oramorph by accident, my supervisor told me to be more careful next time because I was very obviously nodding out. But that's it.
On the other hand another one of my supervisors at the moment is an alcoholic and he once spent hours in the bathroom throwing up and sleeping. He could not even stand up or walk and after he came out the bathroom he still had vomit around his mouth. Whereas even when I was stupid enough to take too much morphine by mistake I was still able to get on with my job, it was just obvious I was on something.
Yes basically all the problems relating to opiate use are actually caused by prohibition. When I could buy a bottle of codeine linctus easily from local pharmacies I never had any issues with its use or financial problems etc. When I moved to DHC scripts they got more expensive but I got more bang for my buck and still wasn't exactly breaking the bank, and again I could get on with my life, do my job, have a social life, in fact DHC is great for socialising as it has a nice little buzzy kick.
When I moved up to oxy that became more problematic since in my spare time all I did was nod out, then of course there was tolerance and expense, but the primary issue was the fact I had to buy it illegally. So I tapered off and went back to DHC and codeine which caused very little problem for me. Same with morphine, I was getting it off a mate who I knew would only have it for a limited time (post-op script) and while we worked out a deal which was very good, I was using it alongside DHC and was easily able to just switch fully back to DHC when my morphine supply disappeared.
Point is when I have a reliable supply of legitimate pharma opiates they cause me very little issue in my personal and professional life as long as I use them sensibly. I'd say strong stuff like oxy is best avoided, but anything weaker than morphine (including morphine itself) is not too problematic if you know your dose, know your tolerance, and treat the drugs with respect. I honestly don't think my codeine and DHC use impairs my life in any way at all and I've not had my mates tell me anything either. They did notice oxy was causing me problems and encouraged me to quit. But not weaker opiates.
The only issue inherent to opiates themselves is of course that nasty bugger... tolerance. What I tend to do is reduce my dose enough so that I simply avoid withdrawals for a week or so, then work out the lowest dose I can take to get high again. This tends to work fine with codeine, DHC, and morphine for managing tolerance. During that time if I crave a high I just use a different drug instead. Bonus points if it's ket because that supposedly lowers tolerance for opiates.
Yeah PST is seriously very nice and overlooked by many. And honestly heroin is below codeine for me, and that could simply be because the quality of the gear is so shit, but either way it's not something I find myself craving at all despite loving opiates. Morphine and oxycodone have the most euphoria of any opiates I've tried but morphine is my favourite overall as it didn't fuck with my life like oxy did. Which does lead me to believe that pure pharma diamorphine would be up there too since it metabolises into morphine, but I have zero access to it so that's a moot point really.
Sorry to hear about the abusive relationship and financial problems, I hope you are in a better place now.
I think when it comes to opiates, most people who find themselves drawn to them as opposed to just chipping are self-medicating for something. For me I have depression, anxiety, and depending on which psychiatrist you ask even worse shit than that. My head is messed up more than just common depression and anxiety tbh. So I turn to opiates and they make me feel "normal." I feel connected to other people. I feel empathy. I feel social. I feel happy. It's not a high that feels "forced" like MDMA, it just sits in the background and makes you feel content. Instead of feeling like a fucked up freak I feel like a functioning human.
Best description of opiates ever from Drugstore Cowboy:
The drug would start a warm itch that would surge along until the brain consumed it in a gentle explosion. It began in the back of the neck and rose rapidly until I felt such pleasure that the whole world sympathised and took on a soft, lofty appeal. Everything was grand then. Your worst enemy, he wasn't so bad. The ants in the grass, they were just, you know, doin' their thing. Everything took on the rosy hue of unlimited success. You could do no wrong, and as long as it lasted, life was beautiful.
It is my view that it's a very specific type of person who is attracted to opiates. The kind of person who needs that self-medication. And it's not all homeless junkies shooting up in the street like the media would have you think. It's more often regular people doing regular jobs who have careers and families like anyone else, but they have some demons in their minds they need to deal with, and so they turn to opiates as a way of coping. I think as long as they can get a consistent legitimate supply this need not cause any major issues quite frankly. This is why prohibition is the cause of the problems.
Although speaking of the often demonised homeless junkies, I am mates with a local homeless guy who yes is a heroin addict. He sells me Valium sometimes and I give him more cash than he asks for to help him out, but mostly we just chat. I asked if he'd like a smartphone and he was so excited and offered to pay me, I said don't be silly mate just have it. So the other day I sat down with him, bought him some lunch, and set the phone up for him (put his SIM in, set up a Google account, etc) while we just chatted. I put some messaging apps on there and said even if you only top up a fiver it uses very little data to call and text on those apps much cheaper than normal calling and texting, your credit will last much longer, and if you can connect to WiFi it's all free. I put an app that lets him stream music for free as well (MusicPipe if anyone's curious, you can get it from F-Droid on any Android phone, it's an open source app that just plays the audio from YouTube videos and keeps playing in the background and when your phone is asleep etc).
Anyway nerding out over my point is I feel like... there's not much difference between us except luck. When I was in a bad place in my life (suicidally depressed) I was able to access treatment very quickly which is a luxury most people don't have. Instead of waiting years for an assessment, I was able to see a psychiatrist within a week, a therapist soon after, got tried on all sorts of meds, etc etc.
But it's like, if that wasn't the case, if I had no treatment and no support network, I'd either be dead or living on the streets myself. And I would certainly be self-medicating with "harder drugs" if I was living on the streets. The only thing separating us is pure luck.
I had an oxy habit I was able to kick and switch to DHC because I could afford to get that DHC prescribed legitimately and I had a support network helping me get off the oxy. Obviously as we all know here on BL, oxy is on the "same level" as heroin. So what's the difference between his smack habit and my old oxy habit? Certainly not how "hard" the drugs themselves are. I think it's simply that I had the means to get pharmas in the first place so no danger of cuts, then I had the means to get off my habit and an environment where I had people supporting me when I was tapering (my girlfriend in particular was a huge help and even got me some codeine while I was rattling and cuddled in bed with me while we streamed movies and TV).
Unfortunately he lacks this basic human need. Humans are social creatures, a support network is vital. Which is why I am his mate and sit down with him to chat whenever possible. There's a lot we have in common despite how different we seem on the outside. We both have similar demons we have been battling. I think if he had access to what I did in terms of treatment and a support network he'd be in a very different position.
So it makes me sick when most people, especially people much more wealthy than me (I make less than a grand a month), don't give a shit about the homeless. I understand getting pissed off at beggars who follow you around trying to guilt trip you into giving them money. I never give anything to them. But if I see someone sitting on the street, I will give them money or food, and they are always very thankful. I talked to my brother about this and he told me the same thing. He is surprised by how thankful they are when people even so much as notice them. Because the vast majority are happy to just walk on by.
Then people say don't give them money you're making them worse because they're gonna buy drugs. As if the fact I gave someone a fiver is what is making them do drugs and if I didn't they would quit. No what I did was make sure they didn't spend all night rattling and hopefully helped them have a room for the night in a hostel. Besides if they didn't spend that money on drugs I would.
Holy fuck sorry for the rambling... I'm on stims. But it's all on topic with what was being discussed in the thread. Addiction and the complex issues surrounding it.
NZN
