Ketamania
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2017
- Messages
- 1,120
Howdy guys! Please give me some advice because last night was not the best. My BF has schizophrenia, but only has severe psychotic episodes when he does stimulants.
TLDR: BF won't stop doing bath salts/stimulants/coke when I ask. He said he would stop awhile ago, but he ordered more secretely and has been doing it while I'm sleeping. I caught him once, but then he did it again... He convinceed me to try them (a-PCYP) and the high was actually nice and then I came down. However, when my BF came down he had the WORST psychotic episode I've ever seen. I flushed the rest of the a-PCYP b/c he cannot control his use. I comforted him all night, but I am exhausted today and some of the things he said triggered my PTSD. I just got my sleep back, but I was up over 27 hours.
Yo! So....... This is quite the story (bath salts.. whoot!):
So I actually have always criticized bath salts. Not b/c of media mongering, but I heard it can cause really bad side effects for people; especially those with mental illness. My SO has been trying them out in the past, and EVERYTIME he would get into a psychotic state (b/c he has schizophrenia). He only gets SEVERE psychotic/psychosis when he does bath salts of any kind (any RC variation of cathinones). Anyways, yest. he's like "nah they aren't that bad, you should try them to see". I didn't want to really, but I was like "why not? something new".
So, it actually was very nice. It's like... adderall and meth combined? It's very speedy, but it has a lot of euphoria. I didn't smoke it, I snorted. And let me tell you, THAT SHIT BURNS. Worst thing I've snorted (and i've snorted salt, DMT, etc.). Anyways, it was all going good, my SO and I having fun. But then he wanted to go smoke it, so he went outside (can't smoke in our apartment). We live in a city so apparently he went to the hood part of our city (420captial) and smoked it off foil. Real sketch lol.
Anyways, he was gone longer than I thought he would be. He was okay though. BUT- then the comedown came. It's a real heavy body load and I had a pretty bad headache. I was able to manage, but then he started to have the worst psychotic episodes I've ever experienced with him.
I'm not going to give details, but I did stay up 6 hours with him trying to comfort him. I know the protocol of what to say and not say during an episode, but it's very taxing on the caregiver. You can't take anything personal cause they'll say your trying to kill em ya know? After FINALLY getting him to take more of his antipsychotics it got better, and now he's sleeping like a rock. He did say some pretty scary stuff (not anything about killing), but it triggered my PTSD real bad. However, I kept comforting him cause i couldn't break down then.
However, yet again, he had an episode on the comedown, as I have always told him. I tell him not to buy more, then he bought more secretly. I told him not to do it, then he did in 2x while I was sleeping. He's trying to hide his use, which he's never done before. I am really sad that he didn't listen to me when I say that he WILL have a psychotic episode after bathsalts.
I've been up for 27 hours, and just got 5 hours of sleep. I feel a little better, but i'm feeling very depressed and a little suicidal. I flushed rest of that drug down the toilet because he could not control his use and he's been lying to me about it. He may be mad, but I thought I made the right decision. He promised me he was going to 'sell it' and not do any, but he didn't sell one bit and instead been doing it secretly.
I really love him, and he's said that he wants to marry me, but he needs to stop doing cathinones, or really any stimulant. Of course I will always take care of him, but I'm going to have a serious discussion tomorrow that he needs to quit stimulants. I just don't know what to think right now, of course what he said wasn't him, but I am very tired (physically and emotionally). I really would like to marry him, but I am worried about what just happened. But I think if he quit drugs (or mainly stims), this severe episode won't happen ever again. In fact, he's never had one sober.
I hope when he finds his drug missing he's not angry, but I did it for his and my good. My brain and emotions are scrambled right now due to lack of sleep and stress, but I feel- deep strong depressive emotions. I wouldn't call it suicidal, but I'm extremely sad. I'm gonna hydrate, eat a snack, listen to music, and try to calm down a little. Love y'all
TLDR: BF won't stop doing bath salts/stimulants/coke when I ask. He said he would stop awhile ago, but he ordered more secretely and has been doing it while I'm sleeping. I caught him once, but then he did it again... He convinceed me to try them (a-PCYP) and the high was actually nice and then I came down. However, when my BF came down he had the WORST psychotic episode I've ever seen. I flushed the rest of the a-PCYP b/c he cannot control his use. I comforted him all night, but I am exhausted today and some of the things he said triggered my PTSD. I just got my sleep back, but I was up over 27 hours.
Yo! So....... This is quite the story (bath salts.. whoot!):
So I actually have always criticized bath salts. Not b/c of media mongering, but I heard it can cause really bad side effects for people; especially those with mental illness. My SO has been trying them out in the past, and EVERYTIME he would get into a psychotic state (b/c he has schizophrenia). He only gets SEVERE psychotic/psychosis when he does bath salts of any kind (any RC variation of cathinones). Anyways, yest. he's like "nah they aren't that bad, you should try them to see". I didn't want to really, but I was like "why not? something new".
So, it actually was very nice. It's like... adderall and meth combined? It's very speedy, but it has a lot of euphoria. I didn't smoke it, I snorted. And let me tell you, THAT SHIT BURNS. Worst thing I've snorted (and i've snorted salt, DMT, etc.). Anyways, it was all going good, my SO and I having fun. But then he wanted to go smoke it, so he went outside (can't smoke in our apartment). We live in a city so apparently he went to the hood part of our city (420captial) and smoked it off foil. Real sketch lol.
Anyways, he was gone longer than I thought he would be. He was okay though. BUT- then the comedown came. It's a real heavy body load and I had a pretty bad headache. I was able to manage, but then he started to have the worst psychotic episodes I've ever experienced with him.
I'm not going to give details, but I did stay up 6 hours with him trying to comfort him. I know the protocol of what to say and not say during an episode, but it's very taxing on the caregiver. You can't take anything personal cause they'll say your trying to kill em ya know? After FINALLY getting him to take more of his antipsychotics it got better, and now he's sleeping like a rock. He did say some pretty scary stuff (not anything about killing), but it triggered my PTSD real bad. However, I kept comforting him cause i couldn't break down then.
However, yet again, he had an episode on the comedown, as I have always told him. I tell him not to buy more, then he bought more secretly. I told him not to do it, then he did in 2x while I was sleeping. He's trying to hide his use, which he's never done before. I am really sad that he didn't listen to me when I say that he WILL have a psychotic episode after bathsalts.
I've been up for 27 hours, and just got 5 hours of sleep. I feel a little better, but i'm feeling very depressed and a little suicidal. I flushed rest of that drug down the toilet because he could not control his use and he's been lying to me about it. He may be mad, but I thought I made the right decision. He promised me he was going to 'sell it' and not do any, but he didn't sell one bit and instead been doing it secretly.
I really love him, and he's said that he wants to marry me, but he needs to stop doing cathinones, or really any stimulant. Of course I will always take care of him, but I'm going to have a serious discussion tomorrow that he needs to quit stimulants. I just don't know what to think right now, of course what he said wasn't him, but I am very tired (physically and emotionally). I really would like to marry him, but I am worried about what just happened. But I think if he quit drugs (or mainly stims), this severe episode won't happen ever again. In fact, he's never had one sober.
I hope when he finds his drug missing he's not angry, but I did it for his and my good. My brain and emotions are scrambled right now due to lack of sleep and stress, but I feel- deep strong depressive emotions. I wouldn't call it suicidal, but I'm extremely sad. I'm gonna hydrate, eat a snack, listen to music, and try to calm down a little. Love y'all
