Okay, I’ve got time to kill so I’m going to tell my story finally.
I’ve worked on a medical-surgical ward for about 8 years (new grad year before that on two other wards). Hated it the moment I got there, had issues with coworkers, but eventually got the hang of their work culture (basically lazy fukks with no integrity) but people still hate me. They say I’m “intimidating“ and “unapproachable”... I have no idea why. I’ve never attacked anyone or raised my voice or anything like that. Sure I got stressed and shut down from time to time but I don’t act out, get aggressive or have outbursts. On the contrary, I actually found myself the subject of about four other people’s verbal outbursts publicly at the nurse’s station- which my manager does nothing about but is happy to tell me all the time that “people are making complaints about you being unapproachable etc.” yet can’t name anyone or give any concrete examples. Occasionally she gives hearsay (never believes what I say though) but never investigates the claims.
Then at the end of 2018 I got married, start of 2019 we moved to a different apartment, in July of 2019 my cat if 18 years had to be euthanised. I have a breakdown, my husband leaves me around September. I have an admission to mental hospital in October and get diagnosed, medicated, treatment plan in place but still can’t get my husband back. 2020 I had a lot of leave to deal with symptoms of my illness, I expect divorce papers by September (haven’t got them yet). So it’s been a fucking shit show for me at work and personal life.
Around July I finally breakdown and tell my manager to just send me anywhere else because I don’t know how I can be anymore approachable or un-intimidating. Genuinely. She has no suggestions either (I literally asked her and she said “I don’t know”). No one is pinpointing any behaviour to change, I’m clueless. So I start moving around wards with no issues with other staff. Then I meet with the Director who suggests I do COVID swabbing for a break from regular duties and because they need more people, then within a week or two she will find me a new ward. I agree... I meet with Human Resources who basically use a format usually reserved for formal complaints and disciplinary action to write how I’ve been absent and issues on the ward (from the POV I caused them) all using hearsay from my manager and they decide now I can only work Monday to Friday AM shift while COVID swabbing until I see a new psychiatrist who is to determine whether I’m fit to work- all because I disclosed my illness as per my responsibility when I renew my registration that year, even though the registration body is already happy and given me my registration based on previous psychiatrist’s opinion. This is meant to happen within 30 days.... I was stuck swabbing for TWO MONTHS.
September comes around and I take long service leave as per the advice of every mental health professional I interact with because I expect divorce papers and I may lose it again. I took SEVEN WEEKS, expecting the issue to be dealt with and new ward assigned by week 4 (would be three months later) so I could go back early and save some leave but until this date they STILL have not written a report to revise the previous based on the new psychiatrist’s appraisal (so about four or more months now). Told them I will go back to work tomorrow but I refuse to do swabbing or temperature checking, I want to work on a ward, I don’t care where.
I actually love my job and it’s been hard the last several months. I’m still not sure what will happen but I hope this will get sorted out this week. I honestly think the issues that I had on that ward were due to other staff hating me and not me personally as I get on well on other wards. Such a goddamn shame. It’s like I’m being punished for being mentally unwell by HR too. And NONE of this is official (no written complaints with evidence), above board (there’s no policy for how to handle this case so they’re using a disciplinary approach) or deemed “disciplinary action” by them...
Kinda wanna be like...
Oh and add to that- there’s no complaints about my work. None. From patients or staff regarding my ACTUAL work. On the contrary, I’ve received actual cards and flowers from patients. Flowers specifically sent for me.
(Anyone judging at home- didn’t start using hard drugs until this year and not on days I worked)
I’m not intimidating looking. I don’t know why people hate me tbh. I just know they do.
