Women and love therapists?

[Markomarkh]

Hi there, how you doing?

The thing I wanna talk about is, why some men get laid and some don't, I think with me I was hurt badly by a girl in my late teens who I thought was the one, went out with her for a month and she dumped me then a day later then she snogged one of my so-called good mates, I wanted her back and ended up harassing her over the phone and ended in funny phone calls, I was hurt she dumped me, hurt she snogged my mate and hurt it ended in court. Yeah yeah you know the story and it was 20years ago, but I feel I never really got over it, it's like some form of trauma or something and never really had confidence to approach women again. This why I rarely go out at night anymore because I'm sub consciously avoiding women even though I would like a girlfriend. My experience at school most girls were horrible bitches or bullies tbh. You get the odd nice women, the ones that approach you in friendly way and talk to you for no reason are the ones that probably like you or interested in you and they are the ones you should be asking out. I dunno if I've been unlucky to meet someone or I'm avoiding it. I heard some men suffer from gynophobia where they fear women or very shy or nervous around them (gynonervousness) and don't ask women out or avoid them, so they just turn to porn and images of women to relief them selves because it's easy then forming a relationship with women.

I think there should be a love therapist where they train men about relationships, how to treat women, dispel the myths of misogyny or mgtow, get them out of there fears of women. Not to worry about it, these things happen naturally, it will happen when the right person comes. Just get on with your life like my mum says. But it's hard to stop thinking about it though. This is where therapy could be good.

You could even have a love therapist and a prostitute in one form as a love surrogate or something on NHS? Or a Singles Room in NHS, where men and women can meet that are lonely and find it difficult meeting opposite sex.

What you think?

Cheers mark.

 

[bomber]

So you think there should be a therapy for men that help men cover the needs of women better so that they have better chanses on getting laid. I think that by saying that you give mtgow a point, even if I don't realy agree with the movement.

 

[JaredTheGhost]

I think you should get out there and stop hiding from the world. One of the hardest lessons life will bring is the world of heartache. We live in a world filled with people who are only out for themselves.

I hate reading a post where a poor guy is scared to share himself with any women, because of some bitch from the past. I think you have a lot to offer and there's substance to you. Stop living in fear while life passes you by.

I'm not saying to go out and be a manwhore, just go out and be yourself. The right and wrong ones will come and go. Remember to hope for the best and anticipate the worst, because getting hurt is a part of life.

Hang in there, Buddy.

 

[Markomarkh]

So you think there should be a therapy for men that help men cover the needs of women better so that they have better chanses on getting laid. I think that by saying that you give mtgow a point, even if I don't realy agree with the movement.

I don't agree with mgtow, it seems to be about men bitching about women, they must have serious issues with women, in theory if men are going there own way then there should be more women for me, great, why am I still single? It should be easier now? I just hate these silly movements on the internet, probably psyops or CIA run just like the Alt Right.

 

[bomber]

I don't agree with mgtow, it seems to be about men bitching about women, they must have serious issues with women, in theory if men are going there own way then there should be more women for me, great, why am I still single? It should be easier now? I just hate these silly movements on the internet, probably psyops or CIA run just like the Alt Right.

I don't agree with mtgow either. They do have some valid points, but overall I find them almost as stupid as feminists. But look what you say: "I think that there should be some kind of therapy to help men's socialization with women". So basicaly train them to flirt and cover the female needs better, right? That's why I say you do give them a point here.
One of their arguments I find valid is that men are trained since young to love women more than themselves, change themselves in a way that women will like them more, almost completely focus on making women happy, and count their value with how accepted they are from women. Men that manage to throw that attitude and love them selves first, are actually more likeable for women cause women prefer a man that loves himself, which could even answer your question-why this movement didn't give you more girls.
Of course they take it too far by saying men should NOT love women at all, which is stupid af if you ask me.

 

[Markomarkh]

Bomber I'm not saying covering females needs better, I'm saying things should be mutual or equal if you want a healthy relationship and should help each other better, I just want to help men get over their fears of relating to women. TBH anything like mgtow or feminist ideologies is all about divide and conquer, it's not uniting the world is it?

 

[bomber]

Bomber I'm not saying covering females needs better, I'm saying things should be mutual or equal if you want a healthy relationship and should help each other better, I just want to help men get over their fears of relating to women. TBH anything like mgtow or feminist ideologies is all about divide and conquer, it's not uniting the world is it?

Yeah I agree. But men getting over their fears with women? Just that? Well, if so, wouldn't a normal psychologist do fine?

 

[Markomarkh]

Yeah I agree. But men getting over their fears with women? Just that? Well, if so, wouldn't a normal psychologist do fine?

I seen psychologists before in my life due to mental health reasons, the last one was a trainee fresh out uni and didn't do much help at all.

 

[♥ Lady Bug ♥]

It sounds like you need to get other things going in your life. Women can be nasty people. Focus on your own life, being social, staying kind to people, getting into activities and you should be better. "Hurt" only lasts due to a lack of distraction.

though I will say one thing, that saying, "Time heals all wounds" is the biggest fucking bullshit ever. It greatly reduces it, but it never heals. Fuck that quote!

 

[Buspersons Holiday]

It sounds like you need to get other things going in your life. People can be nasty people. Focus on your own life, being social, staying kind to people, getting into activities and you should be better. "Hurt" only lasts due to a lack of distraction.

though I will say one thing, that saying, "Time heals all wounds" is the biggest fucking bullshit ever. It greatly reduces it, but it never heals. Fuck that quote!

Mark, loving someone who doesn't love you, hurts

Wanting something that other people have & you don't, hurts

This is not a gender issue; it effects most human beings at various points of their lives, some more intensely than others and usually in younger years

I'm one of the lucky ones, who has gone from suicide attempts in late teens over this very issue, to now being a middle-aged person who can rationalise if someone is no longer in love with me/wants to be with me, however sad it can be & I've ended relationships with people I loved because they weren't in love with me & it wasn't an equal relationship

Do you have any female friends that are simply friends, with no hope or intent of more than friendship on your part? If so, could you ask their advice or go out socially with them & their friends?
If not, have you thought of internet dating or internet shagging if that's just what you're after? It's all out there with the help of Uncle Google

A thing that has helped me through social inhibition in the past has been to pretend to be somebody else - not in a lying-about-who-I-am way, just pretending to be someone that doesn't feel like an awkward twat & is confident in social situations, which I actually am most of the time now

All that said however, if you're focussing & obsessing on the one thing at the expense of trying to live a purposeful life, it's probably less likely to happen - I can reel off cliches until the cows come home, but it really is more likely to happen when you're just trying to get on with life in general & not thinking about 'IT'

One day you may reach my nirvana of having no desire for sex or a partner & not giving a shit whether people fancy you or not!

 

[augustaB]

Dear Mark the therapy you talk of exists in the form of prostitution.
I have read about "sex therapists" attending to the needs of disabled persons, but not sure what country that was.
Your problem with women is that you think of them only as purveyors of sex (you'll disagree I know). Try seeing them as people trying to get on as well as they can.
No woman owes you a fuck.
When you come on like that, you are scary, to be honest. Put the sex out of your mind and think you are talking to your sister.

 

[Markomarkh]

Dear Mark the therapy you talk of exists in the form of prostitution.
I have read about "sex therapists" attending to the needs of disabled persons, but not sure what country that was.
Your problem with women is that you think of them only as purveyors of sex (you'll disagree I know). Try seeing them as people trying to get on as well as they can.
No woman owes you a fuck.
When you come on like that, you are scary, to be honest. Put the sex out of your mind and think you are talking to your sister.

I never said anybody owns me anything, not my fault I'm a red blooded male that fancies it, yes I do think about it too much, and there is an inbalance in my thinking, it's a confidence issue which I didn't have before the event of my trauma. I still get approached by women on odd occasion but don't have confidence to ask them on a date or go any further so I'm not totally a lepper. I just want to see more equality between men and women and want true love not just sex.

 

[bomber]

^But, since you already realise that old expirience is what holds you back(if realy that is the case), and do want to socialize with women, how dificult do you think it is to overcome it?
I mean,you want a special therapist to tell you what-that not all women are like that girl from your past, or that because you got obsessed then that doesn't need to happen now?
But you seem to already realise that, so all you need is start acting according to what you already have in your mind and the problem with your fear for women should gradualy go,right?

 

[pofacedhoe]

though I will say one thing, that saying, "Time heals all wounds" is the biggest fucking bullshit ever. It greatly reduces it, but it never heals. Fuck that quote!

some of it needs to be you

you need to grow up and get over stupid shit from long ago that is no longer relevant

that is maturity and mental development

if you cant get over stuff then how could you ever have a meaningful relationship? because you will always be dragging up crap from the past and making it an issue

 

[Markomarkh]

That's it! Just had a brainwave, I've got to love my self, I've been hating myself for years and only thinking of what pleasure I can get out of the world and not looking after myself because of it, I listened to hedonic rave music, had takeaways, eating snacks, jerking over porn for what, wearing casual clothes? I've not looked after myself properly and just been blaming the world for my problems. In this current state no potential girl is going to want to date me, looking in the mirror I wouldn't date me if I was the girl opposite. I've had a chip on my shoulder for too long now and I feel it's been lifted. If I can show I can look after myself, get fit then a potential girl will think I can look after her future kids and likely to take me serious. Not saying I've got it Sussed in what I'm saying but its worth a try. Ive been worshiping, bating women to long now, when I should love myself, porn has been an agenda to stop men breeding to keep populations down. Oh well it least it's kept me out of trouble and heartache from real thing. Thanks for the insight guys and gals!

Cheers mark.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

^ That's awesome Mark!!

I would still suggest you seeing a therapist though, a female therapist. Sometimes therapy can help reform relationships and negative perceptions/thoughts into positive ones. For example, if a young girl had a horrible relationship with her father; she's going to struggle with forming male relationships. If she start therapy with a male therapist, he will provide her with a safe environment to open up in, he will provide her with unconditional love, he will gives her guidance, and build her up, etc. After a few, she will no longer view men like her father, but she will see them as a mix... men like her father, but also now men like her therapist.