• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Recovery Witness Me!

What a great idea on the toss and wash VE... I inhaled that crap a couple times...Yuck!!

Oh and hi... Yay!
 
Bigpoppa! your back!!! fuck yeah i hated toss and wash too, the key is to drop it back as far as you can in throat the less backing into your mouth the better. I actually got good at it but still it always felt like it was stuck in my throat after. 5 or 6 grams of bali seem to match up with 15 to 20 mgs oxy pretty well to me, what other comfort meds are you using. Happy your back bro!! TLD
 
Thanks everyone. Currently at work so ill post more updates this evening. As always...i appreciate the support!! BL rocks!
 
Hang in there brother. I am just glad you survived the patch-cutting experimentation. For anyone who is reading this forum that is definitely not a good idea. Even the matrix patches are dangerous to cut. I lost an associate playing that game. The reservoir patches are real dangerous to cut.
 
BigP!

Glad to hear you are still alive and working. You can't feel too bad if you are working - at least that is my hope! What type of work do you do?

Keep it up! I am excited for your update.

-VE
 
HIYA Poppa!!! Thanks so much for checking in. Would you mind updating us on how you've been doing?

Please know that my checking in, even if the news isn't perfect, you're doing a lot of people a big service. We need more examples of people who are able to keep pushing ahead and able to actually pick themselves up after making a mistake or two and keep pushing ahead. Roles models in the "try, try try again" thing.

Yup, you are a role model in your own special way dear comrade :)

Please let us know how we can give you our support! <3
 
Here I go again on my own...down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone. And I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time....I'm back again after a long bout of self doubt and tricking myself into thinking this was ok as long as I was happy. The synthetic happy needs to be replaced with real natural happiness... And I need to make up and do it. So I did...I am on day 5 with no drug of choice. This shit is brutal. For everyone going through it I feel your pain and wish you nothing but the best of luck. I've read so many success stories and I want to be one of them. This cloud over my head has got my stress levels and anxiety on edge.i just keep thinking about what it would be like to finally be clean and rid of the demon.
 
7days opiate free. Longest I've ever been in all my attempts to quit. It feels awesome, but hurts like a mf'er at the same time
 
hey bigpops 7 days is a huge accomplishment! keep up the hard work, and I still have anxiety, sometimes it gets to the point where I shake. (like having to deal with customer service @help desks, and just talking to some people in general). It's really bothersome at times, and am trying to find ways to cope with it in other ways then having to take any medication.
 
The depression is hitting hard but I haven't tested my anxiety levels...haven't left the house in the past 7 days. I haven't really thought about the outside world...

Thanks for the encouragement. How long have you been clean D?
 
Last edited:
I have a little over 18 months, to be honest man I did not know how to live there for a while. I got caught up in the homeless atmosphere where you eat your meals at local soup kitchens, took showers at places that offered showers for the homeless, hell for almost a solid year I spent my life from bench to bush to tent to recycle bin to where ever man, I got caught up in the grips. so I needed help, so I did the treatment deal.

you know, once I got employment at the same treatment center I went to, things started to get better. I started to learn how to live again. I work with a lot of individuals at my job and to be honest it really helps in keeping me sober (helping another addict and alcoholic does work)!

I know whatcha mean about the anxiety because I deal with it a lot outside of the recovery scene, like I'm not used to going to shop at grocery stores, and super stores, and when I go there is some fear. I end up going because I enjoy the food selection at those places because it sure beats shopping at family dollar.

Depression is part of it sadly, each day sober does mean something, each day your brain creates more natural serotonin and dopamine , and when you use chemicals it depletes the brain of those good feel feels'. Sometimes you might have to seek behavioral health care and there is nothing wrong with that, hell sometimes I think I should see a doctor but then again doctors were my drug dealers, and trying to avoid it for now.

=)
 
D's said:
sometimes I think I should see a doctor but then again doctors were my drug dealers, and trying to avoid it for now.
Click to expand...
Just because you see a doctor doesn't mean you have to get prescribed controlled medications. Where I turned a corner was in detox when the doctor prescribed Celexa. I wasn't depressed anymore after that, so I had no reason to drink. I tried naltrexone and it made me sick as shit making me feel like I was in opiate withdrawal all over again, plus I've been drunk as shit on naltrexone and it didn't feel any different from a non-naltrexone drunk.
 
Wow, you're so awesome, so very proud of you!!! Way to go BPG!!!!!!!
images




Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.

BigPoppaGoonie said:
Hey BL. Just wanted to let everyone know I am 60 days clean. Fuck yeah!
Click to expand...
 
You are a miracle! You are a bird that doesn't fly, a fish that doesn't swim...an addict that doesn't use!
 
Thanks everyone. It's been a hell of a journey. Since my last post about quitting, I tried unsuccessfully to detox by myself. The longest I ever made it was 7 days. The withdrawals were so awful. For the past 8 months I tried over and over again to quit. I tried tapering, kratom, high dose vitamin C, high dose gabapentin, benzos....nothing worked for me. I was on alot of opiates though. I would use for a couple weeks, then try to quit, then use, then try to quit. I was absolutely hopeless. It led me a dark depression. One night I ended up writing suicide letters to my wife, mom, brother, sister and dad. I was ready to end it all. I knew how I was going to do it, just not when. My wife found the letters and asked if I needed to go to treatment. I broke down and said yes. It was the best decision of my life. I was involuntarily commuted (due to thoughts of suicide) to a detox center that specializes in mental health. They weaned me off of the opiates using suboxone. They tapered it so I wouldn't replace one addiction with another. After detox, I entered a 90 day residential treatment center (where I am now). I take zoloft now for the depression and anxiety. I don't know if it is helping or if it is just being clean, but I feel so much better. For the first time in my life I am starting to be happy. I am working on myself, and though I still have a long way to go, I am actually realistically hopeful. Addiction can be beat, and in my experience, I couldn't do it alone, and I had to want to quit. For anyone struggling, ask for help if you cant do it on your own. I love you guys!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top