Recovery Witness Me!

[Catlady45]

Aww way to go Big Poppa! So glad your happy and feeling good! ❤❤

 

[BigPoppaGoonie]

Thanks so much. It is undescribable how good I feel. Eating better and working out has allowed me to lose 30 lbs. And holy shit...natural endorphins are my new best friends!

 

[Stargazer]

Wow! Well done Big Daddy

I'm so glad to see you're doing well. I remember how hard you struggled.

So happy for you

 

[lovemissile66]

These are the stories that give me hope and make me so happy that a site like this exists.

 

[jasperkent]

Right on!

Peace&Love,
jasper

 

[BigPoppaGoonie]

Just wanted to stop in and say I'll be 2 years clean in August.

 

[sewerslide.666mg]

Haha, apologies for the thread title, I just finished watching the new Mad Max. It's appropriate in a sense. I want to kick this opiate habit and need for any mind altering substance and improve my overall mental health. Bluelight peeps, I need your help. I need you to hold me accountable. I am an extreme introvert and don't know how to ask for help from the "realworld" so I came to cyber space. No one knows my struggles. Today I open up to you.

I can't remember the last time I've had a natural night sleep. Booze, weed, and now opiates have been my release for the past 10 years. 5-10 mg's of hydro, oxy, whatever I could get to take the edge off soon escalated to a 90mg oxy a day habit. I've switched my oxy habit to a fentanyl habit. Slapping on a 75 mcg patch every 2-3 days is a lot easier. With the patch I get a good 6-8 hours of mild euphoria...which is really nice. This is followed by a day or two of just feeling normal. I actually like this part...i dont feel high or zoned out and feel like a functioning part of society again. After the 2.5-3 day mark, the w/d kicks in and I change patches for a fresh one.

I want to kick it altogether. I want to experience normal without the help of self medicating. I've decided I am going to taper with a 12.5 mcg reduction every few days. I fear the withdrawal. I fear it more than anything. I started last night by reducing down to 62.5 mcg. I can feel a mild w/d already. Hot/cold flashes coupled with muscle aches. The muscle aches are the worst because of the extreme uncomfortable creepy crawly feeling under my skin. I feel like I cant sit still.

I don't know if withstanding this prolonged mild w/d is better than just cold turkey w/d. Do I feel a little sick for a long time, or a lot sick for a few days???

I'll post back each day and welcome encouragement and any insights or personal recommendations and experiences.

I went to rehab around that time this black metal / metal head use to say " witness me" haha I doubt it's the same person but just for fun battle scar sends his regards