The first and second time I ever rolled on mdma were so intense. I was in touch with everything; the music, the lights, the people. All I wanted to do was dance and I just remember feeling SO happy. A year on and about 10-15 times later I feel the buzz and I feel social but I don't get the same feeling, I just feel really wired; awake and alert but no real intense euphoria and that real feeling of being completely in my own world that I had before, I usually don't even feel like dancing I just sit down and chat to people... People think I'm really high because my eyes are incredibly wide but I don't feel it. It could be bad mdma or just from slight abuse... I was taking it say monthly and during festivals everyday but I didn't even enjoy the high that I experienced because I was waiting and hoping to experience it like I had before.
I have come off a cycle of anti depressants a couple of months ago which I have been pretty recently diagnosed with which may be the reason? My friends say that mindset has a lot to do with your experiences. I know this because whilst my friends are experiencing intense rolls on same batch of mdma I haven't. I'm in a much better place now I have been properly medicated and haven't taken anything for about 3 months and haven't taken the anti depressants for a couple of months either. I'm thinking about using mdma for nye but really hoping I don't experience the same mild buzz feeling that I have in the past. I have thought about mixing mdma with acid just because I'm craving that intensity but I don't want to do that in a rave environment for my first time.
Can anyone else relate to my experience or think that a better mindset will improve my future experiences with mdma?
I have come off a cycle of anti depressants a couple of months ago which I have been pretty recently diagnosed with which may be the reason? My friends say that mindset has a lot to do with your experiences. I know this because whilst my friends are experiencing intense rolls on same batch of mdma I haven't. I'm in a much better place now I have been properly medicated and haven't taken anything for about 3 months and haven't taken the anti depressants for a couple of months either. I'm thinking about using mdma for nye but really hoping I don't experience the same mild buzz feeling that I have in the past. I have thought about mixing mdma with acid just because I'm craving that intensity but I don't want to do that in a rave environment for my first time.
Can anyone else relate to my experience or think that a better mindset will improve my future experiences with mdma?