Lost Will he ever be okay?

[Wellthen]

Can years of drug abuse kill your "happiness" (serotonin/dopamine) forever?

My fiancè (he is a 34) was a heavy drug user all of his life. We dated as teens and got back together 4 years ago, but when I learned he was still doing (hard) drugs (meth) so often and casually, I gave him an ultimatum. So, he wanted to quit anyways and so he did. He's been doing SO well.

Lastnight, he confessed to me that he had $100 worth of meth in our home. He cried to me and confessed that his suicidal thoughts have never went away. He is a combat veteran and has PTSD.

He said, "I know this sounds like bullshit, but I feel like the only time I feel real feelings or happiness is on drugs, so I just wanted to do a little."

He does go to a counselor at the VA and he's on Lexapro after trying 3 other antidepressants. He said Lexapro definitely works best. But if it's working, why is he having serious suicidal thoughts? Edit: I forgot to mention he also uses marijuana daily to help with anxiety.

My main question is, did he do too much damage to his serotonin and/or dopamine etc to ever be repaired? He's done literally every drug under the sun but stims were his fave.

He was sober 4 years before this relapse. Wouldn't that have been enough time to be repaired? I'm so worried about him and I want him to be happy without drugs.

If you made it this far, thank you ♡

 

[nuttynutskin]

Hard to answer because it sounds like there's a lot going on. I'm guessing that ptsd is what's really at the core of his problems and him trying to self medicate might be creating more. Does he feel he has adequate therapy from the VA?

 

[hydroazuanacaine]

i don't know much about meth. but, as a long time drug user myself, i can say that for a lot of drug users the reason for continued use even when they make things worse is because of a problem other than just the drug. like nutty is saying about self medicating. the problem might have been there before he ever even tried meth. or maybe he had tried meth so he knew about it, and then turned to it when the problem arose. that's much more likely than that drugs killed the happiness neurons in his brain. especially in a case where there are some clear explanations like having been in combat and having ptsd.

i think that's overall good news. it means there's still a hurdle, but it's not irreversible brain damage caused by drugs. so maybe it's a hurdle that can be overcome.

sorry to hear you and he are struggling.

also i think use of marijuana might lessen acute anxiety while raising the baseline of chronic anxiety. can't speak for everyone, but i can tell you smoking pot daily makes my mental illness much worse.

 

[Shady's Fox]

The ultimatum I guess it would be none other than ''If you want me, you have to quit'', well.. knowing yourself it's the most important thing in this senseless life...

This is what I have to say for this thread.

 

[Pembroke]

I think he should look into treating the PTSD, but the less complex answer is simply "yes". It's called anhedonia, and basically means you sucked up all the serotonin your brain could produce and now your out. I've heard of it, clinically, in MDMA users, but it could, theoretically, happen with any hard drug that force-produced serotonin over a prolonged period of time.

I'd start with the VA and go from there.

 

[polymath]

Sometimes people who have damaged their dopamine system with long-term stimulant abuse have been prescribed selegiline or other anti-parkinsonian medications that increase dopamine levels without being addictive in the same way as amphetamine and cocaine. Then there are some natural products with same kind of effects, like the "Indian tobacco" which contains this active compound: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lobeline

Sorry to hear about this being partly caused by PTSD from war.

 

[OpiateKiller]

My personal opinion which is going to be highly frowned upon..

The lexapro and marijuana are worsening his state of mind and both need to be tapered down and removed from his life.

The problem with that is coming off of lexapro is heavily difficult, anxiety and bed ridden experience most do not wish to conquer.

My sister had a psychosis episode from Lexapro and marijuana, thankfully she cameout OK after 10 days in a hospital.

 

[Painful One]

I think you need to be a bit more open minded about his use of substances.

He is a Veteran and has PTSD.
I do not think a life without drugs is going to be possible now.
You do not want him suffering so badly either.
I know you don’t. I can hear how much you love him.

Use your compassion right now.
Pressure is going to have the opposite effect.
Tell him that you want to help and that it is okay if he needs medication.
Help him to get the right kind of help.
You must be an advocate for him now.

Everyone reacts differently to substances. He is going to have to try different things.
See where he is the most comfortable.

Give him your support now.
Stand by him.
He needs your understanding, Love, and compassion now more than ever.

God Bless and Thank you for your service to our country.
We are relying on you, family members to pull our wonderful Veterans through.

 

[Wellthen]

I think you need to be a bit more open minded about his use of substances.

He is a Veteran and has PTSD.
I do not think a life without drugs is going to be possible now.
You do not want him suffering so badly either.
I know you don’t. I can hear how much you love him.

Use your compassion right now.
Pressure is going to have the opposite effect.
Tell him that you want to help and that it is okay if he needs medication.
Help him to get the right kind of help.
You must be an advocate for him now.

Everyone reacts differently to substances. He is going to have to try different things.
See where he is the most comfortable.

Give him your support now.
Stand by him.
He needs your understanding, Love, and compassion now more than ever.

God Bless and Thank you for your service to our country.
We are relying on you, family members to pull our wonderful Veterans through.
❤

I thank you for this prospective. I honestly do all of the things you've mentioned EXCEPT accept drug use. I do accept his past and I do understand why (as much as I can being that I'm not a veteran) but I maybe do need to remind him that this doesn't make him a bad person or a weak person, etc. I need to let him know that he didn't fail and that he's human.

I don't mind him smoking marijuana at all. But he has ruined his life more than once because of drugs (before and after his service) and I refuse to let him do that again. He ends up loathing himself even more.
Edit to add that we have 3 children between the ages of 2 and 11, aside from the other obvious reasons drug use isn't a good idea.

He is afraid to tell his counselor about being suicidal because of possible red flag laws which would prohibit him from carrying a firearm.

I make all of his appts for him at the VA and get his meds refilled for him etc. He has ADHD but the VA won't treat him for it because of his past drug use which to me is ridiculous. Then again I don't know if a stimulant medication would make him crave meth even more or hey maybe that's why he likes the meth since stims help ADHD so much.

Sorry for rambling. You've given me a lot to think of and I appreciate your reply.

 

[mr peabody]

Dearest Wellthen,

I am so sorry for your troubles.

Please consider the possible necessity for long-term professional help. Please look into MDMA therapy, which is really taking off, and so many PTSD sufferers have already been helped. For an in-depth perspective on this amazing new field, maybe have a look here:

PTSD | +60 articles

Is MDMA the key to treating women with PTSD? by Kelley McMillan Some say yes—and that the prescription could come as early as 2021. On a bright, sunny morning in June 2012, 36-year-old massage therapist Roxxann Murphy and her husband, David, 34, were driving to Oklahoma City's Myriad...

www.bluelight.org

Psychedelic Therapy | +80 articles

Psychedelic Therapy by Brian Anderson | University of Pennsylvania Psychedelic drugs are known to have profound psychological effects. Now being evaluated in clinical trials in the US as aids to psychotherapy, these substances are thought to help patients by inducing spiritual...

www.bluelight.org

SUICIDALITY | +40 articles

Cambridge Ketamine, the new suicide prevention weapon by Mark Shenefelt | Feb 24, 2019 Ketamine, with a long record as both a dependable surgery anesthetic and a notorious club and date-rape drug, has gained new life in northern Utah as a weapon against severe depression and thoughts of...

www.bluelight.org

You really need to take the long view of all this — your fiancè's recovery could take years. You obviously love him very much, and that is so wonderful.

 

[stellablue]

Wellthen I understand what your saying. All you can do is be there for him and take the advice of everyone here and check out different options with him. The fight is never over unless we die. So don't let his suicidal thoughts and cries go unheard. Get him some help for the PTSD. Much love and light.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Time away from drugs does nothing to repair mental damage by itself. The individual still needs to go through some sort of therapy to enable them to change their thought patterns and behaviours.

Time away from drugs makes it easier to achieve that goal, but it doesnt actually make any of the change happen. That has to come from him (with guidance from a professional of course).

 

[Painful One]

I thank you for this prospective. I honestly do all of the things you've mentioned EXCEPT accept drug use. I do accept his past and I do understand why (as much as I can being that I'm not a veteran) but I maybe do need to remind him that this doesn't make him a bad person or a weak person, etc. I need to let him know that he didn't fail and that he's human.

I don't mind him smoking marijuana at all. But he has ruined his life more than once because of drugs (before and after his service) and I refuse to let him do that again. He ends up loathing himself even more.
Edit to add that we have 3 children between the ages of 2 and 11, aside from the other obvious reasons drug use isn't a good idea.

He is afraid to tell his counselor about being suicidal because of possible red flag laws which would prohibit him from carrying a firearm.

I make all of his appts for him at the VA and get his meds refilled for him etc. He has ADHD but the VA won't treat him for it because of his past drug use which to me is ridiculous. Then again I don't know if a stimulant medication would make him crave meth even more or hey maybe that's why he likes the meth since stims help ADHD so much.

Sorry for rambling. You've given me a lot to think of and I appreciate your reply.

You are not rambling.
I understand completely. I see your point of view entirely.
I agree that you need to keep him from total wipeout addiction life ruination.
Absolutely.
You also have children to think of.

But, he has a serious medical issue now that has to be “managed”.
You will not like it if he doesn’t manage it.
There will be other problems. Scary problems.
One of the reasons that I sought treatment for my chronic pain was because of how badly it effected my family members without treatment.
There has to be a happy medium of medication vs. abuse.
He is most likely using because he is desperate to keep these severe and scary symptoms under some management/ control.
He does have a history of addiction too.

Then there is the issue of doctors, policies, and political issues.
All of us people with chronic issues have had to find ways to work around those obstacles.
They are huge obstacles too!
It sucks and keeps people from getting the help they need.

Has he ever tried Kratom?
It is a plant that is in the coffee family that at lower doses works as a stimulant and at higher doses works as an opiate.
It fills the opiate receptors and that gives a dopamine boost. Stabilizes mood.
This might help him. It can be ordered from the internet.
Kratom and cannabis goes well together and might be enough for the ADHD.

Work with him is my advise.
The worst thing you can do is shame someone or guilt someone in this position.

Let us know how it goes.
With Love.
❤

 

[G_Chem]

As someone that has helped others with forms of PTSD, please look over the links provided by mrpeabody as well as anything else you can find on psychedelic therapies. I’ve watched people truly undergo some amazing changes and get past lasting traumas.

MDMA, Mescaline, LSD and DMT/Ayahuasca are all amazing and likely to do him well.

MDMA and/or Mescaline is probably where he should start though. MDMA therapy in the context of PTSD, a therapist can often bring the subject back to those traumatic memories in the more positive light MDMA provides. And in essence the subject can re write the memory in a better way.

If it’s too hard to find a therapist it is possible to make progress on these things at home just the two of you, but that would probably take a lot of research/planning on your end as well as you probably being willing to try some of these substances yourself to better understand the mindstate.

-GC

 

[Napdmd]

If he's having PTSD but also messed up his dopaminergic and serotonergic systems with meth and other stims, I would not use any more stimulants like MDMA. It would only desensitize his receptors and deplete neurotransmitter levels more. I think ayahuasca could be useful for PTSD in his case. Because he already has messed up his mesocorticolimbic pathway. MDMA could make him feel good for a while and perhaps heal the trauma, but would make him more depressed anyway. Thats my take on it at least.

 

[NeverHaddaChance]

Firstly, as someone with complex trauma and substance problems, I would like to that you for being a compassionate supporter. I can't say whether or not he will find peace, but I can tell you from the other side what has (and hasn't) helped me...

- COMPASSION! Literally, it can save a life. The thing with self-medicating as coping is that we know it's wrong. There's a substancial amount of shame and guilt that comes with being dependent on a substance to feel even close to normal, especially with meth and the social stigma. My husband, family and friends, and even in the medical system, I was treated as though my life didn't matter, like a junkie - and I almost ended my life.
- Cut ties with those who use... Now this helped quite a bit, although I do have one person I still talk to. That person would never let me use them as a resource in a moment of weakness, so I feel safe in that. Dealers have impecable timimg for randomly coming into stock.
- RAT PARK! I encourage you to look at this study! Rats without enriching and rewarding environments chose drugs, where rats with mates, exercise, and space did not!