Why scientists just don't create a complete happiness substance?

[Dreynar]

This is a question that is coming back to me again and again.
So let's understand the basic philosophical meaning of this question. In my opinion the basic information in philosophy and psychology (beside information that "I exist. I'm experiencing. I'm feeling good or bad.) is the Motivational System that is the same for every human being on this planet (and most likely for all animals and arguably for all creatures in the universe) which we can define as:

"I will move in the direction, change in the direction that I believe will feel best (is the most pleasures) for me. And that I will always move away from the direction that I believe will feel worst (that is the most painful) for me.

So this is the ultimate goal of people on this planet. Everything that we do is beucase we want to feel better. Everything else that we do or want to experience or achieve we will experience it better and achieve faster if we feel good. But even if this wouldn't be the case and people would just be partying and sitting on their couch in the euphoria, so what if the goal was already achieved? How suffering is better by wanting to achieve something greater let's say more advanced civilization if this is achieved by mental suffering (or for some even torture) of billions of people? It doesn't make sense because even general advancement in civilization is also to make us happy because of it. But anyone who ever took some cool stimulant knows that they make you more creative and wanting to do things.

Feeling good is all that we want. Everything else that we want to achieve in our civilisation would be better if the mental suffering of people would end. For example by some super effective psychotherapy or some extremely effective drugs (e.g. like combo Adderall + Oxycodone. Or something that works more organically in the direction of Bromantane or supplements but, of course, stronger than that). Or both.
So why all governments, scientists, psychologists, universities, pharmaceutical companies, etc, are not focusing on this most important question in the past and future history of humankind?

Why there's no gigantic strive on the internet, universities, schools etc. for answering this question on how to create a perfect substance (and/or therapy) that would make us come out suffering and live in constant joy, happiness and euphoria, or at least (complete) inner peace?

Why most of scientists of neuroscience and psychology will not commit themself to it, so that people can be free from suffering either through drugs or a very good (and easy) psychotherapy method(s) that can be taught via YouTube video or a one (rather short) book, or both.

Pretty much all people suffer more or less (especially those with screwed up brain chemistry and/or very bad childhood)

The thing is that no matter how suicidal I am - when I take Oxy - I'm always back to extreme happiness, I'm back to optimistic thoughts and feelings, and pretty much nothing can make me feel bad.
So why there's no gigantic amount of work and commitment to invent an opioidergic drug that organism wouldn't develope a tolerance for?

Antidepressants are developed since about 60 years. We live in 2018 and current Anti-depressants are still pretty shitty. If you want to have complete relief, you have to properly involved at least one of those 3 neurotransmitters: Dopamine, Opioderic System (mainly Endorphins) and GABA. (Gagabapentinoids like Pregabalin are an exception to this.). But there are no antidepressants that are doing it. Except of ADHD meds and Bupropion that are one of most wanted drugs in the whole psychiatric pharma business.

I know that brain will build up a tolerance to the euphoria.
But first: this is not something that is happening to current antidepressants (SSRI, SNRI), Adderall works more or less all the time and after some tolerance built up you can reverse the tolerance with e.g. Memantine and after that take things like Agmatin, DXM, Magnesium, Turmeric etc. to hinder the tolerance build up.

Why there's no work developing something like Endorphine Reuptake Inhibitor?

And if tolerance is a problem, couldn't all scientists in the world solve it?

For example by creating a drug that would not affect the part of the brain that is responsible for tolerance development so that this part would not notice the drug, but the path that is creating good feelings would notice it. Or a drug that would prevent the tolerance development.

I know that you will probably say that pharma will not spend money on researching and developing a substance that will eventually make them lose money baucase of drop in sales of bigger doses and dramatically lowering sales of other antidepressants and painkillers (or some other reason that I don't know).
But let's look at that this way:
Some pharmaceutical company developed a drug that would be a perfect antidepressant and at the same time painkiller (affecting dopaminergic and opioidergic systems in the brain) and patented it for 10-15 years and sell a drug that would outsell all other "good feeling" drugs on the market. So the question is why after so many decades of demand by increasing amount of people with anxiety, depression, ADHD, committing suicide, addiction and people that take all sorts of drugs - no company ever mentioned that they are working on something that would be practically

a salvation for humanity?


Edit:

" I don't necessarily mean "complete happiness". I don't even think it's possible because the point is that I also believe happiness is infinite, so we can never have a complete happiness in a sense of not being able to be more happy. The complete happiness I'm reffering to is the complete inner peace. And also that no matter what happens - it can never gets painful (besides basic survivale mechanisms, but the amount pain that people today expierience is not even near the needed to survive - e.g. on Oxy also feel enough physical pain to move away from something that my body is warning me against.). The whole point is there should only be inner peace with excitement as "additional" happiness or as "a carrot". ​ And there should be (almost?) no stick (most of the time?) because it's presence is the interaption to the goal it should "bit you" towards.
The only logical sense of suffering and pain that beneficial is being more able appriciate your happiness when you have it. Which explained by the rubberband analogy: The more you put rubberband into the darkness, when you let it go into to the light (happiness) - the further it will go into that direction. But first we have to let it go sometime. "

"Yes, but having a complete inner peace (which I mean by complete happiness), wanting more would not be a problem. It would be like "I'm fully peaceful, at ease and content, but I want excitement (/more excitement) that's why I'm doing stuff that's excites me (probably mostly in the world as oppose to imagination). "

 

[lenses]

Www.bltc.com

Enough said .

 

[Coolwhip]

Not to legitimatize this ridiculous post, whose assumptions are very short sighted at best and is so full of holes it would quickly disintegrate into dust if critically examined. But the entire world is organized under the assumption that the stick is a better motivator than the carrot, that suffering and poverty fuels aspiration and drive better than dreams. The entire ideology of the right rests on the assumption that if humans are given just enough to subsist they will stop participating in society, stop producing; let alone given "total happiness". Functionally, people who are under constant stress, such as caused by poverty, aren't able to obtain the tools necessary to thrive and end up so fucked in the head that they will never be able to. It would be a more noble and worthwhile effort to focus our energy on making sure peoples basic needs are met, especially for young people, so they can develop into balanced adults.

And after reading the homepage of the shared link, one line really stuck out to me...

In the end, the greatest obstacles to lifelong superhealth and a cruelty-free world may prove ideological, not technical.

QFT

There is a lot of other stuff on that site that makes a lot of sense, I've always thought the human brain was really just a difference engine, nothing more. Everything is relative,

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

This is essentially known as the hedonistic imperative, but its a very difficult target. Tolerance to euphoria is quite a difficult problem to solve.

 

[mb-909]

First of all I think there are more important goals to achieve for science than a wonder drug masking the negative symptoms of stress and not fighting the roots of humanities problems. People are reacting to drugs differently, too, so it would be a waste to focus on a singular direction if it doesn't work for everybody.

In my opinion it is more important to achieve contentment and not pleasure related happiness. Happiness lasts for a short amount of time, contentment is an attitude lasting for a long period of time. It seems oftentimes that we have a preset image of how we have to be, how we have to act and how we have to live... Weaknesses and break downs are ignored by some parts of society. A taboo topic. In the end you have to find yourself a way to accept all the hardship and misfortune... that is the way it is. An attitude towards contentment and being okay with yourself is in my opinion the best way to tackle problems. Achieving that through travel, drugs, therapy or education is to a certain degree ones own responsibility. The feeling of control, which every being strives for is based on our subjective view of the world and somewhat false. You can not change the past or control the future, even if you are a god sent prophet on meth, but you can control the way you feel and react to them.

The wealth of the western society is based on the suffering of third world countries. As human beings we should try to reach a degree of global well being not based on material or idealized wealth (which is simply not possible), but acceptance of everybodies individuality. A freaking hard task. In my case I always thought that I am a tolerant person with no biases towards sex, skin color and so on. Well, I was wrong since I have discovered a lot of implicit biases. I am working to get as tolerant as I can be, but it is not something, which can be solved only by drugs or in a short period of time. Direct contact and understanding of our differences is the best way to go... Or doing drugs in moderation and sometimes giving a fuck towards society. What I want to say it is a long process to achieve contentment and acceptance. There is no easy way to it like a miracle drug.

 

[PerpetualAnhedonic]

Tldr....for now, but will return to read later....just off your title though, my top of head response would be that if there were a "complete happiness drug", if I understand you correctly, I would say that people would have no motivation to do anything. If they're already under the influence of a "complete happiness drug", they'd have nothing to work for....nothing would get done and we, as a species would not advance....what's the point when we're already happy and content with things the way they are.. Doesn't seem like a good thing. Just my thinking, perhaps I am missing something or misunderstanding.

-PA

 

[Doclad]

The idea of a drug for complete happiness makes me laugh.
After that drug they will have to invent one for eternal life ...

This is a joke? These statements are incoherent, the brain does not work in this way.

Nothing more to add.


DocLad

 

[Weltmeister]

OP forgot that utopia and dystopia are one and the same.

 

[Dreynar]

Not to legitimatize this ridiculous post, whose assumptions are very short sighted at best and is so full of holes it would quickly disintegrate into dust if critically examined.

Thank you for the answer. I would like to see those holes. Can you point them out? I'm pretty sure of myself in this one (Don't mean to be rude but I hate when someone is saying that my answer is incorrect and than refuses to elaborate, so please do so. Also remember that the most obvious things, which are based on the beliefs that you've obtained during your life, can appear incorrect or even stupid after obtaning additional information.)

But the entire world is organized under the assumption that the stick is a better motivator than the carrot, that suffering and poverty fuels aspiration and drive better than dreams. The entire ideology of the right rests on the assumption that if humans are given just enough to subsist they will stop participating in society, stop producing; let alone given "total happiness".

I suspect that you also don't see logic in this, but what is their explanation of the sense of that?
Drive to what? If you spend you entire life under the rule "1000 pains for 1 pleasure", than this doesn't adds up (it's not worth it). What is the sense of such life?
What is the sense of participating in society or producing if it is paid more by suffering than by joy?
If the end-goal is logically happiness, than what is the reasoning behind: "The more production and socializing - almost regardless how much suffering it brings - the better." When the definiton of "better" is undeniably (and I challenge everyone who thinks otherwise) to expierience more happiness/joy than suffering. If socializing and production are made in order to increase human wellbeing, so why we put more wellbeing to pay for it than we gain it from it? It is even almost more illogical than to say that 4+4=10.

This is essentially known as the hedonistic imperative, but its a very difficult target. Tolerance to euphoria is quite a difficult problem to solve.

The idea of a drug for complete happiness makes me laugh.
After that drug they would have to invent one for eternal life ...

This is a joke? These statements are incoherent, the brain does not work in this way.

Nothing more to add.

In the next cauple of decades we going to have Artificial Intelligence that will invent us all those things. First AI, than Happiness Pill, than cure for all illness and creating superman kind of body to be resistant to all (or at least most) of things that can get you killed. And than immortality.
(Probably prolonging life first. Than stoping the aging process and than reversing it. And after that controlling it.)

If "the brain does not work in this way" than maybe we can make it to work that way.

First of all I think there are more important goals to achieve for science than a wonder drug masking the negative symptoms of stress and not fighting the roots of humanities problems. People are reacting to drugs differently, too, so it would be a waste to focus on a singular direction if it doesn't work for everybody.

In my opinion it is more important to achieve contentment and not pleasure related happiness. Happiness lasts for a short amount of time, contentment is an attitude lasting for a long period of time. It seems oftentimes that we have a preset image of how we have to be, how we have to act and how we have to live... Weaknesses and break downs are ignored by some parts of society. A taboo topic. In the end you have to find yourself a way to accept all the hardship and misfortune... that is the way it is. An attitude towards contentment and being okay with yourself is in my opinion the best way to tackle problems. Achieving that through travel, drugs, therapy or education is to a certain degree ones own responsibility. The feeling of control, which every being strives for is based on our subjective view of the world and somewhat false. You can not change the past or control the future, even if you are a god sent prophet on meth, but you can control the way you feel and react to them.

I agree, but my whole point is to focus the whole worlds attention on our ONLY-ONE HUMAN MOTIVATIONAL SYSTEM and on wellbeing itself rather than things that should presumably give as a little of wellbeing. So that we don't do redundant things and suffer in agony for centuria or miellenia until someone finally realize this most ridicolously stupid thing that humans did for millenia, which was thinking that more unhappiness brings more happiness.

Tldr....for now, but will return to read later....just off your title though, my top of head response would be that if there were a "complete happiness drug", if I understand you correctly, I would say that people would have no motivation to do anything. If they're already under the influence of a "complete happiness drug", they'd have nothing to work for....nothing would get done and we, as a species would not advance....what's the point when we're already happy and content with things the way they are.. Doesn't seem like a good thing. Just my thinking, perhaps I am missing something or misunderstanding.

-PA

I don't necessarily mean "complete happiness". I don't even think it's possible because the point is that I also believe happiness is infinite, so we can never have a complete happiness in a sense of not being able to be more happy. The complete happiness I'm reffering to is the complete inner peace. And also that no matter what happens - it can never gets painful (besides basic survivale mechanisms, but the amount pain that people today expierience is not even near the needed to survive - e.g. on Oxy also feel enough physical pain to move away from something that my body is warning me against.). The whole point is there should only be inner peace with excitement as "additional" happiness or as "a carrot". ​ And there should be (almost?) no stick (most of the time?) because its presence is the very interaption in the goal it should "bit you" towards.
The only logical sense of suffering and pain that is beneficial is being more able appriciate your happiness when you have it. Which is explained by the rubberband analogy: The more you put rubberband into the darkness, when you let it go into to the light (happiness) - the further it will go into that direction. But first we have to let it go sometime.
But other than that, to insist that we need suffering for something, is retarded.
I rather mean complete Inner Peace. I would be content with something like Oxycodone (or at least some kind bezno, or stimulant that would keep me chilled out during the whole day) but without tolerance build-up.

And the question is why no one is developing opioidergic drug that would be tolerance free (at least mostly, or to some degree).
Such guy would be more loved than Jesus Fucking Christ, so why (almost?) nobody is doing it.
And I don't see how a company which would develope "Oxycodone-but-without-tolerance-building-up drug" that would have a patent for it for 10-15 years and than be Number One seller because of brand recognition, would eventually lose their money bacause of having developed this drug?
Can someone answer this question?

(And why 4F-MPH is not tested and sold as an ADHD drug?)

 

[mb-909]

And the question is why no one is developing opioidergic drug that would be tolerance free (at least mostly, or to some degree).
Such guy would be more loved than Jesus Fucking Christ, so why (almost?) nobody is doing it.
And I don't see how a company who would develope "Oxycodone-without-tolerance-building-up-drug" that would have a patent for it for 10-15 years and than be Number One seller because of brand recognition, would eventually lose their money bacause of having developed this drug?
Can someone answer this question?

Reality vs. fantasy: There won't be a significant effective drug without a tolerance built up. Living beings are not designed to take external psychoactive substances over a long time period. In the end there always will be some kind of dependency and your body will down regulate your own neural system as response. Another important point is that we do not know what a substance does in the human body by simply looking at the chemical structure. Effective drugs are in my opinion mostly found by chance. Knowledge can let you restrict your body of search and make it easier to find a needle in a haystack, but it is not that easy to develop a drug like it would seem.

 

[Tubbs]

Not to mention that if you're perfectly happy all the time, it becomes baseline and you'll always want more.

 

[Dreynar]

Reality vs. fantasy: There won't be a significant effective drug without a tolerance built up. Living beings are not designed to take external psychoactive substances over a long time period. In the end there always will be some kind of dependency and your body will down regulate your own neural system as response. Another important point is that we do not know what a substance does in the human body by simply looking at the chemical structure. Effective drugs are in my opinion mostly found by chance. Knowledge can let you restrict your body of search and make it easier to find a needle in a haystack, but it is not that easy to develop a drug like it would seem.

Yes, but you don't develope a full tolerance to SSRI or DRI, or even amphetamines. So why couldn't there be something like that for opioidergic neurotransmitters like Endorphines?

And there is somethinng like Enkephalinase inhibitor but, for some reason, I don't hear anything about it and the substances like RB-101.

Not to mention that if you're perfectly happy all the time, it becomes baseline and you'll always want more.

Yes, but having a complete inner peace (which I mean by complete happiness), wanting more would not be a problem. It would be like "I'm fully peacefull, at ease (and content?), but I want excitement (/more excitement) that's why I'm doing stuff that's excites me (probably mostly in the world).

 

[MZmachi420]

I suppose its more so about how all humans brains and bodies are different,, but why would they work on creating one drug to make everyone happy, when they can continue to prescribe, create, and hand out multiple drugs to make people happy? $$$$$ Is all they really care about imho.

 

[Doclad]

Honestly, I do not want to take a pill to be happy. I love to seek my happiness with the daily struggle of life, knowing heaven and hell. I wasn't born to live sitting, so that a pill lives the life in my place.
Happiness only exists as a contrast to sadness, being happy all the time is a simply badly formulated idea.

Life will always be a roller coaster, let's enjoy its ups and downs Bluelighters!! %)


DocLad

 

[adder]

One basic question: how could you differentiate happiness from sadness if you felt happy all the time or ecstasy from pain if you felt ecstatic all the time? You do realize this wide spectrum of emotions and feelings that we living beings are capable of having is there for a reason and if you suddenly took all the bad stuff away, life in its current shape might not be possible within this universe at all? It looks like you'd have to mess with quantum mechanics' rules to make your paradise possible.

I don't think life is all about feeling good, it's much more complicated than that. Being able to feel stimulated, relaxed, endangered, safe, anxious, patient, and so on is extremely important. Satisfaction and fulfillment may be some goals, but getting them in life is much more complicated than taking heroin or amphetamine, or cocaine, or any other drug. Some drugs can make you feel in some way for a limited period of time, but then you always have rebound effects. It's not only tolerance that makes your drug experience worse and worse when you become dependent, tolerance is one thing to worry about and actually secondary to all the other biochemical changes that drugs elicit in you and make you incapable of experiencing happiness without drugs even if you detoxed. You're working under delusion that oxycodone is the right, albeit imperfect, answer to your problems and that if you got an opioid (or some other drug making you feel happy, content, fulfilled, you name it) that wouldn't cause tolerance, there'd be literally nothing else that you'd need - well, you might not need to live any more then, your brain might turn into a mash and the first predator that would stumble upon you would wipe you out. Everything in the universe works being in some sort of equilibrium with all the other individuals which may mean that it's impossible to make a heroin-like opioid that will make you relaxed and euphoric every time you take it at the same dose and no tolerance kicks in. Keep in mind it's not only tolerance that kicks in with prolonged opioid use, there are complex biochemical changes that you induce with chronic opioid use. There is a good reason why you don't want to abuse opioids for extended periods of time if you still want to be able to derive joy from doing every day stuff like putting your stuff in order, listening to music, painting a picture, going for a walk with a friend, hugging your loved ones etc. By taking opioids, you impact homeostasis in your organism, you make natural pathways start working differently. In the end, even if you manage to win with your addiction and the withdrawal is over, you are no longer the same person, it takes a lot of time to recover psychologically/spiritually or however one might want to call it, the truth is years of constant external opioid present in your system changes you as a person, because it changes you physically on a molecular level. It appears to me you are in some way addicted to oxycodone and the way it temporarily fixes some of your problems makes you think it'd be an ideal solution if only there'd be no tolerance. But just ask any heroin junkie with solid experience if those few moments of relief have been worth all the chaos that addiction introduced into their life and how much energy they had to spend to just get on the right track from the hell of addiction.

In my opinion by thinking that way you obviously misunderstand some basic concepts about how drugs work, why tolerance kicks in, and are unaware of the complexity of human organism and the universe as a whole too. You do need to make mistakes to be able to learn from them. There are much more nicer things in life than just experiencing an oxycodone rush, but obviously they may require more commitment from you.

 

[Tubbs]

Read "Brave New World", it's about a society that has literally what you are talking about, and it doesn't end very well.

 

[Dreynar]

One basic question: how could you differentiate happiness from sadness if you felt happy all the time or ecstasy from pain if you felt ecstatic all the time? You do realize this wide spectrum of emotions and feelings that we living beings are capable of having is there for a reason and if you suddenly took all the bad stuff away, life in its current shape might not be possible within this universe at all? It looks like you'd have to mess with quantum mechanics' rules to make your paradise possible.

I don't think life is all about feeling good, it's much more complicated than that. Being able to feel stimulated, relaxed, endangered, safe, anxious, patient, and so on is extremely important. Satisfaction and fulfillment may be some goals, but getting them in life is much more complicated than taking heroin or amphetamine, or cocaine, or any other drug. Some drugs can make you feel in some way for a limited period of time, but then you always have rebound effects. It's not only tolerance that makes your drug experience worse and worse when you become dependent, tolerance is one thing to worry about and actually secondary to all the other biochemical changes that drugs elicit in you and make you incapable of experiencing happiness without drugs even if you detoxed. You're working under delusion that oxycodone is the right, albeit imperfect, answer to your problems and that if you got an opioid (or some other drug making you feel happy, content, fulfilled, you name it) that wouldn't cause tolerance, there'd be literally nothing else that you'd need - well, you might not need to live any more then, your brain might turn into a mash and the first predator that would stumble upon you would wipe you out. Everything in the universe works being in some sort of equilibrium with all the other individuals which may mean that it's impossible to make a heroin-like opioid that will make you relaxed and euphoric every time you take it at the same dose and no tolerance kicks in. Keep in mind it's not only tolerance that kicks in with prolonged opioid use, there are complex biochemical changes that you induce with chronic opioid use. There is a good reason why you don't want to abuse opioids for extended periods of time if you still want to be able to derive joy from doing every day stuff like putting your stuff in order, listening to music, painting a picture, going for a walk with a friend, hugging your loved ones etc. By taking opioids, you impact homeostasis in your organism, you make natural pathways start working differently. In the end, even if you manage to win with your addiction and the withdrawal is over, you are no longer the same person, it takes a lot of time to recover psychologically/spiritually or however one might want to call it, the truth is years of constant external opioid present in your system changes you as a person, because it changes you physically on a molecular level. It appears to me you are in some way addicted to oxycodone and the way it temporarily fixes some of your problems makes you think it'd be an ideal solution if only there'd be no tolerance. But just ask any heroin junkie with solid experience if those few moments of relief have been worth all the chaos that addiction introduced into their life and how much energy they had to spend to just get on the right track from the hell of addiction.

In my opinion by thinking that way you obviously misunderstand some basic concepts about how drugs work, why tolerance kicks in, and are unaware of the complexity of human organism and the universe as a whole too. You do need to make mistakes to be able to learn from them. There are much more nicer things in life than just experiencing an oxycodone rush, but obviously they may require more commitment from you.

From memories and past expieriences. People born into "paradise" could have their neurotransmitters or biochemical structure that is responsible for their current state withdrawn for a moment (or just attached their brains to machine that would do that) even if they would wish to expierience contrast to better appreciate what they have. (But I don't think a contrast is really needed to feel happiness, though it may further the expierience of it.)

"You do realize this wide spectrum of emotions and feelings that we living beings are capable of having..."

No, you eather feel good or bad, or something in between. The "wide spectrum of emotions" is on the zip between negative and postive energy.
For example all negative emotions come from fear or are fear in different forms.

And what different could happen, anyway? If we are born into a body that was (for example) manipulated to super happy neurotransmitters work than this is the default. Beucase why would think that pain is the default?
(I recommend the book Inside-Out Revolution by Micheal Niell)

"and if you suddenly took all the bad stuff away, life in its current shape might not be possible within this universe at all? It looks like you'd have to mess with quantum mechanics' rules to make your paradise possible.

I don't think life is all about feeling good, it's much more complicated than that."

I don't thinks so.

 

[herbavore]

Honestly, I do not want to take a pill to be happy. I love to seek my happiness with the daily struggle of life, knowing heaven and hell. I wasn't born to live sitting, so that a pill lives the life in my place.
Happiness only exists as a contrast to sadness, being happy all the time is a simply badly formulated idea.

Life will always be a roller coaster, let's enjoy its ups and downs Bluelighters!! %)


DocLad

I'm with you and I've been riding the rollercoaster for 64 years. I love all my emotions, thank you very much. Anybody that tried to take even one little nuanced tweak of a feeling out of my emotional rainbow would get a very vocal No Thanks from me.

 

[Dreynar]

I'm with you and I've been riding the rollercoaster for 64 years. I love all my emotions, thank you very much. Anybody that tried to take even one little nuanced tweak of a feeling out of my emotional rainbow would get a very vocal No Thanks from me.

Dude, I also don't mind to feel some tweak after an awesome roll but if you are locked inside a feeling of constant torture for a couple of years bacuase nutrition diffiency and before that don't remember a happy life beucase of undiagnosed ADD and Social Anxiety while being forced to go to classic educational system school for 13 years which was the worst expierience in your entire life and feeling constant inner conflict and guilt because of not achieving what you want and put literally 5-8 times more effort then anyone else, than you could have a different opinion about this stuff.

 

[mb-909]

Dude, I also don't mind to feel some tweak after an awesome roll but if you are locked inside a feeling of constant torture for a couple of years bacuase nutrition diffiency and before that don't remember a happy life beucase of undiagnosed ADD and Social Anxiety while being forced to go to classic educational system school for 13 years which was the worst expierience in your entire life and feeling constant inner conflict and guilt because of not achieving what you want and put literally 5-8 times more effort then anyone else, than you could have a different opinion about this stuff.

I am just going to reflect some of the things I am reading between the lines: You say that you have undiagnosed ADD and social anxiety. Why don't you go to a psychiatrist or psychologist to get some professional feedback? Wouldn't that relief some of the pain you have to endure by talking to a stranger, who knows how to be professional about it?

You feel constant inner conflict, because you feel guilt for not achieving what you want. This sounds to me like a not very helpful attitude- having such high standards towards yourself - are you by chance perfectionist? Blaming external factors won't help you fix that problem nor will drugs do the trick. But you are not alone. Many people, who suffer from anxiety, depression or burn out, including myself, do not know when to "stop" or better said have problems with knowing their own limitations ("saying no, doesn't exist in my dictionary", "just one more page and I am done, I promise"). As a result they lose energy for the usual days work - you have to put more effort in to do the same work as somebody who is not stressed out. This leads finally to more work resulting in being more stressed out till your body breaks down. Or maybe external factors are indeed a major factor for your suffering. To get a more healthy caring attitude towards yourself a good psychologist is the best bet you have - and patience...

You put a lot more effort in your work than others... How do you know that? People tend to restrict themselves by not talking about how much effort and time they spent in a working environment like the school system. At least that is my personal experience.