Opioids Why is the depression from quitting opiates SO LONG

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

I've been told it takes a year or so to return to normal. From 2-2.5 years of daily light/moderate abuse depending on the time period, I went through an entire year of only dabbling in them once or twice a month--then going back to light kratom usage daily. I know that even touching it once a month could have prolonged the healing process, but after 3 months of being on only kratom (after that entire year and absolutley not returning to painkillers even once) I was still experience an ultra long bummed out depression and a lack of motivation or inspiration. I wasn't suicidal but I didn't find it enjoyable to be alive to be honest during those 3 entire months. Mostly like a robot at 4/10 on a consistent basis.

Is the kratom not helping my brain heal fast enough? Or is that not even a factor and I just needed more time? I recently started doing opioids daily all over again for two weeks, and it was fun to post on this website while euphoric but I don't even feel it at all anymore and only experience cravings. However, my depression and anxiety that plagued me all of last year and the beginning of this year is totally gone. It's just really frustrating trying to do the right thing and only be rewarded with the longest drawn out depression I didn't even know was possible to experience. How is sobriety the answer when you feel like absolute crap ALL THE TIME?

 

[Wilson Wilson]

Is it possible you started using opiates to self-medicate depression and anxiety in the first place and you notice it more now? It is very common to end up addicted to all manner of drugs due to self-medication especially opiates.

If you had no depression before starting opiates then it is likely PAWS in which case unfortunately just waiting is the only advice that can be given.

You can also look at environmental factors though. Go out often, try and socialise, do things that make you happy. It can make a big difference trust me.

 

[Hylight]

You can also look at environmental factors though. Go out often, try and socialise, do things that make you happy. It can make a big difference trust me.

I try to do all of this also. And I really do make an effort. . . .
But I get so tired, and makes everything worse. So it is quite a struggle.
But don't give up. Try to do a little better every day. Or just try to do a little more with effort.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

I also went through a rough breakup so I'm not where the depression was coming from entirely. But I do think PAWs lasts a VERY long time unlike what most people think where it's only 3-4 months and then you're 100% normal. I was still so tired all the time which I don't recall before touching opioids.

Depression? It was more like a general inability to feel "good" my entire life without substances. Opioids definitely helped put me in a great mood consistently more than any other activity/substance. I also noticed I had trouble concentrating during the no-pills time period. Like my brain was literally not functioning as well as it was for learning or performing acts. Kinda made it hard to go about my daily life with my brain 70% of what I remember it being. There was also a bit of ahedonia (sp) where i had trouble enjoying things in general without pills.

I know opiates are seductive but if I had an unlimited supply I really do think I'd have an awesome life, never OD, and generally be a happier person. In the US you can't get a script for them if you're a healthy younger person like me unless it's a specific unique case.. They give them to elderly people like candy for no reason but otherwise good luck getting them for something beyond a surgery. I totally prefer my life on them mentally, physically, and socially. That's why it's so difficult to stop.. I think the most effective version of myself is while I'm using and it doesn't feel like denial. I've played the game long enough to know the pros and the cons first-hand and I've come to like life in general and myself better while I'm dosing 2-3 times a day. I'm not going to even bother attempting to gain a script for them and morally that's questionable anyway since many people really need them to walk around without physical pain, just wishing things were different and it wasn't so demonized. Opiates ruin some people's lives but they also improve lives in certain cases. They're the only drug I feel makes me more functional.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I used to think that opiates made me more functional - and to a certain extent they did. Until they didn't.

Opiate addiction is a journey that once commenced, has to run its course through to the end. If you try to stop before the route is complete then it will hit you hard - rather like trying to suddenly stop a rolling boulder. The momentum is lethal.

First you need to realise that the boulder has to be stopped. Then you need to understand that the only safe way of doing this is to gradually slow it down until it is at a manageable speed. Little by little, step by step, until you are able to walk away and never look back.

It takes time, balls, and a real desire to stop. Once you have learned to hate the substance that holds you captive then you stand a chance of breaking free.


Fuck heroin and its similes... :D

 

[Wilson Wilson]

I try to do all of this also. And I really do make an effort. . . .
But I get so tired, and makes everything worse. So it is quite a struggle.
But don't give up. Try to do a little better every day. Or just try to do a little more with effort.

Yeah it's not a magic fix for everyone and I'm not claiming it is, but for me personally when I came off oxy I kept living my life like normal and I mostly felt numb and disassociated for a few months but getting out and seeing my mates and my girlfriend and all that did help me connect to reality again if that makes sense.

You know what I mean like opiates have you in a nice warm bubble, when that bubble is gone, even if it's because you made the choice to taper off, you feel cold and empty and disconnected. I felt actual disassociation too like the world was just happening around me and things felt like they weren't real, but I've been prone to dissociative episodes since I was a child so I think the withdrawal just brought it back rather than caused it per se.

Anyway it did still take time to fully get better for sure. I took benzos daily for a few months after I quit oxy just to numb myself to how shit everything felt. But I honestly believe if I just sat there eating benzos in bed all day I would have taken longer to recover than I did making an effort to go outside and live my life as normal. There's a large psychological element to withdrawals too especially when it comes to PAWS, that's how I see it.

I also went through a rough breakup so I'm not where the depression was coming from entirely. But I do think PAWs lasts a VERY long time unlike what most people think where it's only 3-4 months and then you're 100% normal. I was still so tired all the time which I don't recall before touching opioids.

Depression? It was more like a general inability to feel "good" my entire life without substances. Opioids definitely helped put me in a great mood consistently more than any other activity/substance. I also noticed I had trouble concentrating during the no-pills time period. Like my brain was literally not functioning as well as it was for learning or performing acts. Kinda made it hard to go about my daily life with my brain 70% of what I remember it being. There was also a bit of ahedonia (sp) where i had trouble enjoying things in general without pills.

I know opiates are seductive but if I had an unlimited supply I really do think I'd have an awesome life, never OD, and generally be a happier person. In the US you can't get a script for them if you're a healthy younger person like me unless it's a specific unique case.. They give them to elderly people like candy for no reason but otherwise good luck getting them for something beyond a surgery. I totally prefer my life on them mentally, physically, and socially. That's why it's so difficult to stop.. I think the most effective version of myself is while I'm using and it doesn't feel like denial. I've played the game long enough to know the pros and the cons first-hand and I've come to like life in general and myself better while I'm dosing 2-3 times a day. I'm not going to even bother attempting to gain a script for them and morally that's questionable anyway since many people really need them to walk around without physical pain, just wishing things were different and it wasn't so demonized. Opiates ruin some people's lives but they also improve lives in certain cases. They're the only drug I feel makes me more functional.

A rough breakup definitely can't be helping, that's a tough situation. Also the feeling you describe where you had an "inability to feel good without substances" is something I relate to strongly and I have a diagnosis of depression. I'm no doctor but it does seem to me that it's possible you are feeling existing depressive feelings come back stronger since you've been pushing them away with opiates for years. Not to mention the circumstantial depression from the breakup which is of course totally normal. Put everything together and of course you feel rough.

And honestly even if you had a script it would only solve your problems in the short-term. Tolerance can't really be avoided and there's a limit to how sustainable higher doses get even with a script. I'm a young guy and got a script but I got my doc to taper me off it because I knew the pattern I'd follow with a consistent supply would be no different from buying the stuff elsewhere except that when I inevitably found myself addicted and taking higher doses, it'd go on my medical record this time... no thanks. You would literally need an unlimited supply to keep it going, but that's impossible. In reality a script is just as much of a short-term solution to emotional problems as an illicit supply.

I used to think that opiates made me more functional - and to a certain extent they did. Until they didn't.

Opiate addiction is a journey that once commenced, has to run its course through to the end. If you try to stop before the route is complete then it will hit you hard - rather like trying to suddenly stop a rolling boulder. The momentum is lethal.

First you need to realise that the boulder has to be stopped. Then you need to understand that the only safe way of doing this is to gradually slow it down until it is at a manageable speed. Little by little, step by step, until you are able to walk away and never look back.

It takes time, balls, and a real desire to stop. Once you have learned to hate the substance that holds you captive then you stand a chance of breaking free.


Fuck heroin and its similes... :D

Well said.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

I used to think that opiates made me more functional - and to a certain extent they did. Until they didn't.

Opiate addiction is a journey that once commenced, has to run its course through to the end. If you try to stop before the route is complete then it will hit you hard - rather like trying to suddenly stop a rolling boulder. The momentum is lethal.

First you need to realise that the boulder has to be stopped. Then you need to understand that the only safe way of doing this is to gradually slow it down until it is at a manageable speed. Little by little, step by step, until you are able to walk away and never look back.

It takes time, balls, and a real desire to stop. Once you have learned to hate the substance that holds you captive then you stand a chance of breaking free.


Fuck heroin and its similes... :D

Thanks for the post. Maybe it was just inconvenient timing.. going through two heart breaks at once with opiates and a real person did not help the recovery process at all lol.

I've actually deleted my sources many times on my phone, only to cave later by traveling through his neighborhood and desperately seeking him out. It's never failed that I always get lucky (or unlucky( managing to find him. It would be so much easier if I could just delete the access and never find it again. This kind of behavior is probably more common with heroin, but oxy is not so much different from heroin minus the strength.

 

[G_Chem]

I used to think that opiates made me more functional - and to a certain extent they did. Until they didn't.

Opiate addiction is a journey that once commenced, has to run its course through to the end. If you try to stop before the route is complete then it will hit you hard - rather like trying to suddenly stop a rolling boulder. The momentum is lethal.

First you need to realise that the boulder has to be stopped. Then you need to understand that the only safe way of doing this is to gradually slow it down until it is at a manageable speed. Little by little, step by step, until you are able to walk away and never look back.

It takes time, balls, and a real desire to stop. Once you have learned to hate the substance that holds you captive then you stand a chance of breaking free.


Fuck heroin and its similes... :D

And one wrong misstep can have you trip up, fall and have the boulder squish you. Seen it happen many times.

That’s beautiful though FUBAR, I will use that in the future. You’d think all them drugs would have fried that brain of yours but the eloquence is still there.. lol.

-GC

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Kratom is not by any means inert. It grabs onto the addictive opioid receptors.

Real antidepressants available take time to work (some docs may give out esketamine for treatment-resistance) most of the time. They won't work well if you don't harness that agency to develop healthy habits. They also won't work well without therapy. Sorry dude, this is just how things are.

All you have to do is *not do something.

I think that you may conflate opioid withdrawal with antidepressant efficacy. Also I think there are some that you haven't given a fighting chance of 2-3 months.

And that you're early on in the recovery process.

An interesting quote from a good movie: "When you're young, you're stupid to use drugs. When you're old, you're stupid to not use drugs." You have a young, malleable brain. get enough of life and I promise that drugs will eventually pale in comparison.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

Well for me the benefit of kratom is that it doesn't steal the natural enjoyment out of life like real opiates. I recovered my sex drive which made me feel more like a man, and it allowed me to feel almost like I was sober. It's not true recovery but it helped revive my spirit.

I tried to go without it once this summer... but the RLS was so appalling I didn't get a single drop of sleep and went crazy by breaking down and taking it all over again. The withdrawal seems to be worse in terms of restless arms/legs than with real opiates strangely enough.

 

[df118s]

Mate maybe the Kratom is inhibiting your recovery, it is hitting those opioid receptors and hampering your recovery. I found when I stayed on low doses of bupe, even for over a month when I should be used to it, I felt like you did - 4/10, robot, no energy, horrible. When I got off all opiates within 10 days my energy was back, I was happy, etc.

Also FUBAR is right about opiates making you more functional. I was happier, more energetic, outgoing etc on my opiates. Until they stopped working, only gave me a mild buzz at most, then I was in semi-withdrawals a lot of the time, now they just make me feel horrible. If I had a Star Trek replicator I'd be taking 5000+ mg oxy a day.