Why I Had To Quit Smoking

[KyleOpium]

I've been clean from Cannabis for about 6 months now, and I thought I'd share my story about why I had to quit. Maybe some of you can relate.

I started smoking when I was 13 years old. From the first time I got high (took several smoking sessions), I thought I loved weed. I thought it made me a better person. I ended up dropping out of high school and hitch hiking from Baltimore, MD, to LA to be closer to weed. I never got a job other than pizza delivery, and other jobs that paid cash, under the table daily.

By the time I was 19 years old, I was smoking anywhere from 5-7 grams of hash daily. I'd get an o for about $150, break off a .5 chunk, put it in my bong, and blaze through it in about 15 minutes. I had to smoke about every 30 minutes to an hour or I'd get extreme anxiety.

Eventually, I lost the glory, and had extreme insomnia, extreme paranoia, and lost about 50 pounds due to me not eating anything besides edibles for months straight.

It's funny how one night I had an epiphany. I realized all my friends are in their 20s and 30s. All of them are homeless, or live with their parents. None of them have any jobs that pay more than minimum wage. And all of them were crazy conspiracy theory following fools, who sat around and talked about "the man" all day. I realized that I was a stereotypical stoner as were all my friends, and it was time to quit.

It took me about 2 months for me to get any REM sleep back. I got my GED, and am in community college now. I'm paying for it with an african-american studies grant I got. I made amends with my parents, back on the east coast and am also working a full time, and part time job outside of college. I use opiates about once per week, but that is now the extent of my drug use.

I say this now, not to preach, but just as an anecdote to all young, heavy (multiple times daily) cannabis users. That if you want more for yourself, you need to put down the bong. I know that one day I am definitely going to go back to smoking, and hopefully not back to 5-7g of hash per day either. But I realized weed made me very content. TOO content with being a nobody. It made me think I was a good person, when any outsider would see me as a smelly, homeless, jobless, druggie. Many of my friends dont talk to me any more. They can't hang out with me without blazing every 30 minutes.

Many of my friends are convinced that weed is non addictive, and once its federally legal, their lives will be awesome. They do not realize that without even a GED, no education, and no work history, the only thing thats going to be better about their lives is easier access to and cheaper weed.\

I'd also like to hear stories from others who love cannabis, but decided to quit smoking willingly to better themselves. Hopefully one day I'll have a house, good job, and family, and will feel comfortable with smoking again.

 

[Red ghost]

My mum pointed this out to me years ago. I'm trying still to make a good life for my self and pot doesn't help get you out of a rut. I smoke rarely now because I have so many things to do lol. Although its nice when you're doing your garden.

 

[KyleOpium]

Definitely. Weed is a great thing to have when you have your shit together, and you need to kick back. But so many people I know don't have their GED, dont have a steady job, and still live at mom's, and will continue to rave about how weed makes them a better person. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, but if they cant even quit for a week to find out, they will have a lot of regrets when they're older.

 

[angeleyes]

But I realized weed made me very content. TOO content with being a nobody. It made me think I was a good person, when any outsider would see me as a smelly, homeless, jobless, druggie.

I think a lot of people seek solace in drugs and weed is a very effective way of doing this. Combined with society's view on how 'light' it is compared to other drugs, someone can fall quite easily into heavy consumption IME. Glad you wrote this as I'm sure a lot of people can identify with this.

I've gone through periods of my life where I will heavily consume bud for months on end, but I have also gone through stages where I am sober for the same or longer periods of time. I'm trying to work out a good balance of where I want my consumption to be but that usually changes due to real life factors ranging from a daily to yearly basis depending what is happening with my life. I'm just trying to be a good person in the meantime.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I know plenty of people including myself that have accomplished alot and worked very hard in life while smoking weed. The difference is that we chose to work hard and take on large projects even though we were high and not be lazy or live in the moment. It has nothing to do with smoking weed, it has more to do with choosing to be passionate about something and going after it, high or not.

 

[StickyChron]

I know plenty of people including myself that have accomplished alot and worked very hard in life while smoking weed. The difference is that we chose to work hard and take on large projects even though we were high and not be lazy or live in the moment. It has nothing to do with smoking weed, it has more to do with choosing to be passionate about something and going after it, high or not.

This is pretty spot on. I've managed to accomplish everything in my adult life while smoking weed and I feel pretty good about what I've done so far. I think if you look at marijuana as something you need it becomes unhealthy. For me, its a treat at the end of the day. I finish working and I indulge in something I earned so to speak.

 

[LuGoJ]

I know plenty of people including myself that have accomplished alot and worked very hard in life while smoking weed. The difference is that we chose to work hard and take on large projects even though we were high and not be lazy or live in the moment. It has nothing to do with smoking weed, it has more to do with choosing to be passionate about something and going after it, high or not.

Truth.

I know i'm lazy as fuck and pretty careless when I blaze, that's why I only blaze on friday night and during the weekend. If I smoke during the week my job performance is weak and I will just go home and watch TV/play video games afterwards instead of doing other things that need to be done.

 

[KyleOpium]

What do you consider accomplishments though?

Both my parents were entrepenuers, and had millions in the bank by 25. As such, I had a great childhood. I expected to be a millionaire by my mid-twenties as well. Unfortunately, I'm 30, and still work a shit job, and have a barely below average income. I want money, fame, power, and all that comes with it, and at a young age like my parents had. Maybe my goals in life were always too unrealistic, but working a 9-5 isn't considered "successful" in my eyes.

Having a net worth of 10 mil by age 25 is considered successful to me. I guess my definition of success differs from yours.

 

[Mafioso]

Kyle great story, thanks for sharing. It echoes mine and many of my friends and people that I have met along the way. Most of us aren't all that different as we'd like to believe we are.

Success is in the eye of the beholder for we will all die someday and it matters not what everyone else thinks of you. Success to me seems to be as simple as being able to die contently some day, given everything I've seen as of late. When your ego fades and you are dying alone, or dying in the hands of complete strangers does it really matter if your net worth is 500 billion if all you can feel is lonesome, or all that you really want is your family to be close by? My dad is almost 70, health beginning to decline quicker and quicker, and has found himself more isolated than I think he'd like to be. He is constantly buying things he doesn't ever use, and I'm pretty sure it is in attempts to fill that void he has created in his life.

Our society holds such a shallow view of success. Many climb obstacles much greater than some of the most "successful" people in our society, yet receive no public recognition or financial reward. Some of the kindest hearts are some of the lowest among us, and some of the coldest, most cruel and calculated are at the very top of the pyramid. A voracious appetite for power and money is more what "success" is termed as. Be successful in your own eyes for that is all that really matters.

and having gone through an opiate addiction that began as a weekend thing, all I can say is you are walking on the razors edge.

 

[KyleOpium]

Mafioso, thanks for your input. I do believe that people can be successful and smoke weed too. I think I was brainwashed by a lot of the stoner culture, by saying it has no harm. I mean, I have seen many a post by people on this forum who truly believe that not only does smoking weed not cause cancer, but can cure it too! I've heard so many dumb things, and even have friends who smoke weed for "anxiety" when that is one of the main things you should not be using weed to help. I don't know, I guess I regret burning out so young, and wouldn't have gone through so much hash at a young age if I could. If I could go back I would have only been a weekend smoker. Wouldn't have moved on to concentrates either, as that's when I really stopped enjoying it, and started feeling really uncomfortable without. It's odd, as I spent more money on weed than many opiate junkies. I'd spend between $75-100 a day on hash. I guess I'm honestly just very vindictive and spiteful towards all the stoners I looked up to who convinced me education was a joke, working was a joke, smoking all day is all that matters, and convincing me being a gutterpunk was the way to go. I know I made my own decisions, but I feel like a lot of younger people are headed down this same path, and they will regret it when they're older. You don't need to be a millionaire, but most people don't want to be 30 years old, living with mom, and delivering pizzas. And most of the oldheads I've talked to who burned out real young, say the same thing as me. That they wish they wouldn't have devoted every second of every day to smoking.

 

[Mafioso]

In the height of my cannabis use, I was definitely spending more than a most junkies, or hard drug users(to put kindly lol) on weed than they would on their junk. A drug is a drug is a drug the way I see it now.

It seems a lot of people, and I'm sure myself included, develop complex belief systems to keep their addiction alive. It can be easy to rationalize a behavior when that behavior stimulates the reward parts of your brain. Its like giving yourself positive reinforcement when you lie to yourself. What I mean by that is most heavy drug users know they should quit, or that it is detrimental to their health none the least. So in order to use, or do the destructive behavior they must first rationalize why they are going to use, for example I know weed is bad but my family problems are so terrible I am going to smoke and forget about it- all of which may be true but none of it will directly help the situation. At best I am putting it off for myself to deal with later, but while I am stoned it is definitely easy for me to think that I have helped myself by smoking because I feel good at the time, and whatever was bothering me isn't any more.

I heard some statistic from one of Joe Rogan's guest on his podcast, I forget the exact numbers and idk if its completely accurate, but he said that a majority of drug addicts are full time workers. I know for myself I was able to use weed to ignore a lot of things that bugged me and focus on working and making money.

I completely agree though, for me I didn't start until I was 18 but my cousin started when he was 13, dropping out of highschool as well. I tried to never allow myself to just sit and get stoned, although i did spend a fair amount of time doing this(a year or two), I did spend a great deal of energy and focus on making sure I was able to get stoned(getting stoned at work is hard), not getting caught, and all the bs that comes along with it. Looking back, smoking weed all fucking day definitely caused me way more stress than it helped alleviate. I suppose that is similar the ultimate rational that all drug addicts come to, and that is that it isn't helping but instead only hurting.

Idk if I'll ever quit smoking weed, or if I need to completely quit but I know without a doubt that I cannot spend all day stoned. Even spending every night stoned is seeming like too much lately. I want to say that something like 70% of the US population drinks alcohol, but not 70% of the population is a raging alcoholic. The numbers are off i'm sure but you get the point- I don't think people should go straight edge, complete sobriety, but there needs to be much consideration when playing with things like our brains and bodies...

edit: I think anxiety and discomfort can be a good thing, if we allow it to propel us or motivate us out of a bad situation or into a good situation. For example, using the insecurity of being skinny to propel or motivate yourself to exercise and eat healthy. I know I used weed to hide from a lot of my own emotions that I was to put simply just afraid of.

 

[KyleOpium]

I also believe the negative effects of alcohol can contribute to why more people can abuse pot than alcohol. I mean, thats one of the main reasons pro-pot people say its better than alcohol. That you can smoke all you want and have no physical damage. I know personally there have been nights I've drank so much, I didn't touch the stuff for a week after. That's never happened with pot. It was always more more more.

 

[Mafioso]

completely agreed. This might not be a very popular opinion to have here but most stoners have the same habits of addiction(impulsively taking a drug first thing upon waking until back to sleep) as any hard drug addict. The main difference being the side effects are much more minimal and manageable in that they are not killing you than most other drugs. There really isn't any other drug that I can think of that I could take all day everyday without completely falling apart in a matter of months or years. Opiates didn't kill me but they sure made my life a living hell once I got dependent upon them.

i know quite a few people that developed very addictive type of habits, then once weed wouldn't satisfy their cravings switched to hard drugs. You can always tell when someone starts using hard drugs on the regular because their life goes down hill very quickly. With weed, you can always tell by their "stoner" personality, but it is possible to maintain and smoke all day. I wouldn't advise it but it is possible.

 

[KyleOpium]

I'm not gonna lie, that pretty much describes me with weed. Smoked hash all day every day until I stopped getting high even on the first smoke of the morning. Moved up to spice. Burned out on spice, and switched to benzo's. Burned out on benzo's went through hellish withdrawals for a few months, even while tapering, and now I'm getting into the opiates. I won't say weed is THE gateway drug, but it was definitely mine. I think it may also be that I was prescribed concerta, focalin, adderall, and pretty much every ssri and amphetamine available when I was 11, and took them til I was 17. Then I decided I didn't like the speed anymore, and switched to weed. I really haven't been sober since I was 11 years old, and I can't stand the feeling of being sober. I don't really know who I am when I'm sober and it scares me. I guess this is why I started on drugs, and when I burn out and cant get high from one, I move up to the next best thing.

 

[Mafioso]

I think prescription drugs are the gateway drug for a lot of people. I can't imagine taking adderall and all those other drugs at age 11, those drugs will get me high as balls and send me for a head fuck big time. I have a few friends who had similar experience. This girl I was really close with was dosed with a similar chemical concoction from her "doctors" and parents supervision from a similar age. I think too readily parents go to the doctors when they are having issues with their child. A modern doctor in the US is basically primed to push pharmaceuticals onto their patients from college. Even if they aren't, the idea that a drug can fix an emotional issue is just silly. It is quite literally the mindset that a drug addict has amidst drug addiction- expect most drug addicts that I know personally know that it is terrible for them, where as people that I know who take anti-depressants and other psych meds like benzos and amps think that it is the miracle cure because it came from a doctor.

To be honest, I don't look up to most parents that I know and I barely look up to my own. I know a lot of my friends' parents were/are drug addicts and many just followed in the same path. There are so many different factors that can be the cause of emotional stress/trama, many of which has little to do with parenting as well. Diet plays such a huge role in how our emotions respond and react, and in general people in the US eat complete shit. I've read that sugar will stimulate the same parts of the brain as cocaine, not to mention the multitude of hormone disruptors and other crazy chemicals we ingest on a regular basis. It's no wonder something like 11% of children today are diagnosed with ADHD or ADD. Combine a terrible diet with bad habits like watching TV and playing video games for hours on end from a young age and maybe even mix in a little neglectful parenting and it sounds like a recipe for disaster.

I know the feeling of being afraid to be sober. I still feel it on a fairly regular basis but I'm able to go most the day without smoking weed as of late, and thats all I really indulge in. maybe a little alcohol for social sake.
The big difference in me is that I'm no longer allowing myself to be driven by that fear. At some point or another in your life you will have to face it, and its probably not going to get any easier. For me its a matter of baby steps but making sure I don't allow myself to give up along the way. Stay focused on the ultimate goal that you want, and if you don't have one its time to create one.. For me, I realized that the fear of being sober is the fear of having to face all the thoughts that I've been trying to escape. If I don't have weed in my system or on hand it's easy for me to think that I will be overwhelmed but emotions will pass.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

What do you consider accomplishments though?

Both my parents were entrepenuers, and had millions in the bank by 25. As such, I had a great childhood. I expected to be a millionaire by my mid-twenties as well. Unfortunately, I'm 30, and still work a shit job, and have a barely below average income. I want money, fame, power, and all that comes with it, and at a young age like my parents had. Maybe my goals in life were always too unrealistic, but working a 9-5 isn't considered "successful" in my eyes.

Having a net worth of 10 mil by age 25 is considered successful to me. I guess my definition of success differs from yours.

My parents were entrepreneurs too, although they never made millions. Still, they formed a business that's healthy today in a very remote place where they literally knew no one initially and my childhood was pretty comfortable. They smoked weed throughout their entire lives too. I think your standards of achievement are pretty damn high and not attainable for most people. But maybe you're different. I did have this conversation with someone I knew recently, though, the whole lament that we, as a generation, are sucking wind in retail or other jobs we hate while our parents were economic geniuses or something. Ultimately we don't have to "out-do" our parents, though.

Whether or not a person can be a "success" without "money, fame, power"...well, I'd argue yes...I've done and seen crazy things that probably most wealthy people haven't, and there are a ton of rich degenerates who do drugs; I've been around enough rich people to know they hoover up drugs just like the poo' folk. It all comes down to you being the best judge of your goals & how to attain said goals and working from there. If marijuana turns you into a fat lazy slob and is thwarting your goals of jet-setting around the world in your private jet as you organize hedge-funds, then hey, by all means quit smoking. Personally I plan on smoking weed til the day I die barring any unforeseen circumstances.

 

[Mafioso]

/\ I know a lot of people with similar mentalities. It would seem that our parents generation, those of the 60's and 70's, are generally more economically successful than their children are. Speaking in general terms of course. There can be many causes to this, but if you just take a step back and look at all the opportunities they had compared to our generation. In terms of world economics, there were much more available resource and open land then there are today. The world we currently live in is nearly maxed out in terms of environmental strain that we are putting on the earth. In the 60's there were only half as many people in the world as there are today, that's another 3 billion people that are going to consume resource and ultimately create more competition amongst the majority of the population. Also, in terms of economic freedom or economic opportunity for those that are not born into wealth, there is drastically less imo. This can be easily demonstrated by looking at cost of college tuition and the wages most college graduates earn upon graduating. I can honestly say that I make much more money doing construction work than most my college graduate counterparts- and even in construction work there is much much less money to go around.

There is so much that goes into play when talking about job availability and opportunity. It really isn't fair to compare on generation to the next for it is such different times. A lot of our parents economic success is being repaid to our generation in environmental debt. Take a look at the current state of affairs for the US when it comes to fresh water. Quite frankly we are running out and largely so because of practices set up 50-100 years ago. Practices that were designed to profit a few greatly, and with little more oversight beyond that.

I try to not judge anyone based solely on drug use, but there are undeniable side effects of any drug which can't be ignored(or shouldn't). Drugs are everywhere and so deeply immersed in our culture and by no means confined to one socio-economic group(i.e. the poor). You have to do what fulfills your own goals ultimately. Reach for what you want out of life, not what your parents, your friends, or the media tells you that you want.

 

[thujone]

and having gone through an opiate addiction that began as a weekend thing, all I can say is you are walking on the razors edge.

most definitely, that stood out to me as well. people talk a lot of unfounded shit about how x drug is worse than y drug but in terms of addiction opiates are a totally different game from anything else. serious talk.

 

[bit_pattern]

I know plenty of people including myself that have accomplished alot and worked very hard in life while smoking weed. The difference is that we chose to work hard and take on large projects even though we were high and not be lazy or live in the moment. It has nothing to do with smoking weed, it has more to do with choosing to be passionate about something and going after it, high or not.

What a crock of judgmental shit. Pot effects people differently, people get addicted differently - were you an addict to the extent of the OP? No? Didn't think so. You'd rarely here a part time opiate user saying this sort of shit about a full blown heroin addict but holier than thou recreational pot smoker who are blessed with the ability to control their addiction are happy to look down on people less fortunate than themselves.

Also, the OP started using heavily at the age of 13 - big difference in terms of addiction and brain development than someone who starts in their twenties. I know *plenty* of people that have developed life-long apathy disorders from heavy pot use at a young age. Pot definitely *does* have something to do with it. Just because you haven't personally experienced something it doesn't mean it's not real or that addicts are just "lazy"

 

[Mafioso]

/\ I think he has a point, I've worked for a couple people now who smoked ridiculous amounts of weed and were more successful than some who don't do any drugs, people who made 6 figures and more. Look at the owners of harborside- straight up fucking stoners and they run a crazy successful business.

Now that is not to say that weed is not inhibiting them, but truth be told for some, weed becomes a part of them or they learn how to cope with it and its side effects. There are some crazy rich alcoholic coke heads out in wall street, and not many but some heroin addicts have grammys- stereotypes only work for part of the population. There are quite a few people that don't live within that box.

if you take a drug you will suffer the consequence, and I don't deny that there are long term side effects from smoking pot but people have over come much greater obstacles and a lot of times it has more to do with habit rather than ability. and some it is just luck, or the lack of.

edit: I agree with both to some extent- there are consequence to any drug use, and it probably increases the earlier you start, but some addicts are just plain lazy. Sorry, but it is the truth. Drug withdraw and dealing with the side effects post-drug use is some serious stuff and not to be taken lightly, however it is the consequences of the choices the drug user made. If doing what would be a simple task for most is extremely difficult for you, the burden is upon you and no one else. Someone going through post-drug "withdraw" or whatever may be working twice as hard to accomplish half as much and perceived as lazy by others. To each his own I suppose.