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Why do people hug platonically?

psychedelicsoul

psychedelicsoul

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 3, 2015
Messages
726
Listen... for me, hugging is a very sexual activity. One I would only do with a girl I personally find attractive. I don't see it as some fun platonic thing.
In fact, as a proud pervert, I can joyously confess to watching the way female friends interact and being very turned on. Not because I think they're lesbians, but because, for me, things like holdings hands and hugging are inherently sexual.

I know I'm in the minority on this, but I was always confused on why people hug if they're not in a romantic/sexual relationship.
I always hated hugs when I was little. I didn't mind when my mom hugged me... (until I turned like 8, and I hated hugging period)
I always wanted personal space and hugging people was really awkward and something I just tolerated but never liked. I'm a handshake guy... or moreso a fist bump guy. But ideally, I don't like physical contact with other people period outside of sports like wrestling or football. But physical contact to show affection is just creepy for me.

I could never see why friends hug. Before I hit puberty and started liking girls, I wanted no hugging from anyone. I didn't want to hug a girl until I got interested in girls. And I would never wanna hug anyone but a girl I'm sexually attracted to. Otherwise, hugging is just weird and discomforting. If someone other than a hot girl wanted to hug, I would tell them to respect my personal space.
Ever do something gross and just wanna take a bath afterwards, that's how I feel about hugging.

I guess rather than asking why some people enjoy hugs, it's probably better to ask why people like me hate them
 
All my closest friends bro hug. There is nothing sexual about it, we are simple comfortable enough to hug it out and pat each other on the back because we are showing our love and respect to each other.
 
so we should only have any physical contact with people we're having sex with?

i think the fact that you view the act on a par with intimate sexual contact and somehow dirty hints at a plethora of unresolved personal issues that inform the discussion.
psychedelicsoul said:
...it's probably better to ask why people like me hate them
Click to expand...
probably :\

alasdair
 
maybe there are some repressed memories? i dunno, i used to wrestle as a kid so contact in general was never sexual though i admit it deffo felt a bit awkward trying jiu jitsu as an adult. after a few sessions of being manhandled though the awkwardness went away entirely and i became more focused on just holding my own. maybe enrolling in a martial arts class could help you get past this mental block?
 
thujone said:
maybe there are some repressed memories? i dunno, i used to wrestle as a kid so contact in general was never sexual though i admit it deffo felt a bit awkward trying jiu jitsu as an adult. after a few sessions of being manhandled though the awkwardness went away entirely and i became more focused on just holding my own. maybe enrolling in a martial arts class could help you get past this mental block?
Click to expand...

Oh, martial arts is no problem. That's not related to affection. Contact in sports is fine.

alasdairm said:
so we should only have any physical contact with people we're having sex with?

i think the fact that you view the act on a par with intimate sexual contact and somehow dirty hints at a plethora of unresolved personal issues that inform the discussion.probably :\

alasdair
Click to expand...

Well, that's how I feel now, but when I was a kid I just didn't like being touched period. I couldn't even stand getting a hair cut.
I could never sit still because the sound made my hip, legs, and back tingle and made me move around. It felt like there was a snake under my skin crawling around.

I'm over that now, but I still don't want physical contact that's affectionate, unless I wanna sleep with the person.
 
i think it takes 10 seconds into a hug when you start to release oxytocin, so just make sure you break away before then.
 
psychedelicsoul said:
...I still don't want physical contact that's affectionate, unless I wanna sleep with the person.
Click to expand...
fair enough. i think the fact that you conflate non-sexual contact and sexual contact is telling.

alasdair
 
alasdairm said:
fair enough. i think the fact that you conflate non-sexual contact and sexual contact is telling.

alasdair
Click to expand...

telling of what? If anything, I speculate that it may have something to do with autism.
I'm not saying I'm autistic.. I have no idea. Based on childhood memories, I can say that I showed almost all the signs and symptoms of autism, but I'm not sure that makes me autistic
 
alasdairm said:
fair enough. i think the fact that you conflate non-sexual contact and sexual contact is telling.

alasdair
Click to expand...

Interesting.. I believe we all need to be touched, unless you are from Finland lol. Just joking..:)
 
I'm a hugger but don't see it as sexual, even still kiss my bestie on the lips without it being a lets fuck kinda gig :)
 
You would hate where I come from. We also Hongi

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Sonny+Bill+Williams+Super+Rugby+Final+Chiefs+-6wHAnOd38ql.jpg
 
Hugs are drugs yall lol.

I don't see how a hug conflates to sexual interest, i mean i hug my parents all the time, i hug co-workers, specifically one that i know is not sexually interested in me almost every day, for me its just another way of expressing affection, whatever that means. And when i say affection, thats a broad term, yes it also includes sexual affection, but all affection is not sexual affection.

Its just a way of making each other know that you have a caring/loving relationship with the person, and not all personal relationships are sexual obviously.

IMHO its either a cultural thing about expressing affection, or a personal thing about expressing affection, and in regards to the personal aspect, every one is different and defines what kind of affection is sexual/platonic. Some see it as inappropriate, some just see it for what it is, an expression of affection like a handshake, a pat on the back/shoulder, whatever your thing is with the person your doing it with.

just my 2c.
 
You would find it odd traveling or living in parts of Europe and South/Central America where men and women kiss each other on the cheek platonically, or even two women or two men in parts of Europe will do this platonically as a greeting.

Do you not like touching people, or do you have extreme OCD or a phobia of getting sick from just touching someone like from a hug or kiss?

I've kissed and hugged lots of women and men. It doesn't mean I want to sleep with them, or that I'm interested in them sexually.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
You would find it odd traveling or living in parts of Europe and South/Central America where men and women kiss each other on the cheek platonically, or even two women or two men in parts of Europe will do this platonically as a greeting.
Click to expand...
Everyone does that here.
 
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