• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Why do guys cheat ?

Because they have two heads and one is brainless lol.

Jk idk. Many reasons and possibilities for anyone I think. E.g. not in love, unhappy/unfulfilled in relationship, sex addiction if that's a real thing but sure it is, having no consciouss (i.e. being a dick), having low self-esteem, indecisiveness about what they want, being too cowardly or tactical to tell partner, temptation, selfishness, being anhibriated, getting like a kick out of it or something, revenge, impulsivity, lack of respect for partner, depression, wanting to have their cake and eat it, convenience, thinking/knowing they can/will get away with it etc.
 
Because as amazing as we all know we are as individuals, variety is the spice of life. It's a fundamental part of being human - to push boundaries and explore new frontiers, reach beyond the comfort of familiarity for something novel and exhilarating... so, it stands to reason, though I think it's terribly distasteful and disrespectful in a committed monogamous relationship. It's indicative of poor self control and lack of empathy
 
Hmm, this sounds like you attract the same type of partners on the regular, which leads me to think that your taste in men is something else....
 
Hmm, this sounds like you attract the same type of partners on the regular, which leads me to think that your taste in men is something else....
It's this. Most men I know don't cheat once they're in a long term relationship unless they've been driven to it over the course of many months. By that I mean the girl is engaged with actively trying to drive him away or make him pissed off or whatever crazy bitches hope to accomplish when they go down that route. In my entire friend group I only know of two that give no fucks about cheating. They hop from woman to woman quickly and there is no shortage of takers or ones that linger for months attempting to change them. It's like the women want a project to fix-up.

Cheating is pretty rare. Accusations of cheating are more common in my experience. Driven in part by the bro code of never talking to your friend's girlfriends. This rule exists for good reason: you don't believe us anyway.

Being attracted to a certain type that's bad for you is pretty common to. I attract lots of women that have Daddy issues and have been fucked over by opioid addicts (either parents, ex-husband, ex-boyfriend). I attract them because I'm an opioid addict or recovering opioid addict depending on current pain levels and what's going on in my life. I find I attract them more often when I'm using. I become a magnet for these type of women to the point where a couple have stalked me and/or tried really hard to be in my life after I made it clear I wasn't seeking anything like that with them.
 
Daddy issues

Bad way to put this. I meant that most of these women didn't have a father in their lives or their Dad left mid-way through their childhood. I find myself attracting women with this story over and over again. They always say I remind them of their father to. I guess I just put off an aura as a male caretaker or something. Which isn't far from the truth considering what my childhood consisted of.

I notice similar patterns in my friends. Most of my friends have parents that divorced. I hardly have any friends who's parents aren't divorced. Meanwhile, my little sister's friend group is the exact opposite. Her parents are married, all her friend's parents are married still, and she's been dating a guy for four years who's parents have been married for nearly 60 years.
 
There are many unexamined problems with heterosexual sex that aren't examined in certain Western countries because of conservative archaic, attitudes towards sex. The separation of men and women in school doesn't help. All the gender bullshit doesn't help. We are raised to be different. We are raised to feel ashamed about our desires. There is little confusion, relatively, within homosexual circles. When I first had sex with a woman, her body was alien. I had no idea what I was doing. Men are easy because I've played with my dick a million times.

(I don't think a lot of men are satisfied - long term - by the image of woman that is perpetuated as desirable.)

I don't agree with monogamy. So I've never not "cheated", but I've always been open about it.
 
In all my relationships I've never cheated. Been cheated on, but never did so myself. I like building really strong relationships and getting to know my S.O, it's not just about the sex.

To me sex is amplified when you have a strong emotional bond with your partner. It's that deep connection that I seek.
 
Monogomy and the formation of pair bonds i think is to some degree rare among great apes and somewhat new to our species. We are not naturally

For a guy like me with oodles of testosterone monogamy is pretty difficult, it is possible but feels unnatural. I'm an intelligent guy who can think rationally but i cant help but having a thinly veiled desire to get any apparently viable female pregnant. I have acted in such a fashion am not proud of it. Although im also not ashamed by it really.

A certain degree of monogamy in humans is a pretty recent thing, it essentially came about as a means to discourage infanticide, when the male of our species or closely related species began to prevent other men from killing their offspring (like is common in apes). Pair bonding in humans isn't as strong in a number of other species. Among great apes humans are somewhat unusual i think only gibbons* really have strong pair bonds, other than us

*Note: must have been drunk/stoned when I wrote this, in fact given the 11pm time stamp that is certain. Gibbons are small little guys, not great apes but rather "lesser apes". They are instead one of the few apes in general that exhibit pair bonds, and i don't believe any of us (great apes) exhibit strong pair bonds, at least in the wild. And the anti-infanticide origin of homo sapien pair bonding is just a theory, but if true, may have played a role in the evolution of our species
 
Last edited:
Cheating on someone who you are supposed to be monogamous with is one of the most horrible forms of intimate betrayal. I am ashamed to say that I cheated on a couple of my girlfriends before meeting my wife and addressing the reasons why I was cheating.

I think that men and women both cheat for similar reasons. However, I only have my experience with it so I’ll share.

When I was a younger man 16 to about 22, I had very little respect for the women in my life. I resented a good number of them because I was an unrepentant asshole. That’s disrespect and resentment caused me to see the women I was dating as sex objects and eventually I would get bored. When the chance came along and it always did… It would start with flirting and end up with something physical. Usually it would go on for a couple of weeks and then one of us would get bored and start looking around.

The only time I felt right about sleeping with other women. Occurred after I had tried to break up with my college girlfriend after many attempts (at least 10) of getting her out of my life in the best way I knew how. This would involved me saying that I wanted the relationship to end. She would cry or straight up refuse to leave. It was only after I told her “I don’t want to be with you. I have tried to end our relationship several times and you won’t let me go. It is my intention to start dating and sleeping with other people.” And then FOLLOWED through that “she” decided to break up with me. That was a different situation entirely though.

I am proud to say I have never cheated on my wife at any point in our relationship. Which began at the end of our undergrad.

Cheating often boils down to bad choices made because there is a willing person right in front of them. I have heard both men and women say “It’s just one night.” Or “I want you and I don’t care if you’re with someone else.” If alcohol is involved the chances of infidelity go up a lot. For some people it isn’t that they don’t care for or love their partner. Sometimes it’s a lack of self control. Sometimes it’s the desire to have a sexual encounter with someone new.

It really does suck. I have been cheated on and done some myself. I never felt good about it, except with the girlfriend mentioned above and even then there was shame sometimes. What I don’t understand are the people who wear it like a badge of honor. Then it isn’t a lapse of judgement. Then it’s intentionally hurting someone else so that you can get off.

That’s my thought on the matter.
 
I once cheated because I knew I was being cheated on, so it was a "gotcha bitch, I can play this game too" type of thing. Otherwise I've never cheated on any other partner that I've had.

Lack of sex could do it. Lack of non-physical attraction could be a factor as well - a lot of people in the modern day jump into relationships so fast, they don't really even know if they're attracted to one another beyond the physical. Could just be that the guy wants sex from anything with two legs and their preferred genitals. I think there's a million reasons why people cheat and not just one right or wrong answer.
 
Top